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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>I Need A Refresher On Appropriate 1 And 2 Year Old Behavior
sahm2three 01:29 PM 10-25-2011
I have a house full of little littles. Here is the list of ages of kids I have:
4 yo, 3 yo, 2-2 yo's, 3-1 yo's, 11 mo, 2-5 mo, plus I have my own 5 yo and a newborn starting in December. I have a full time assistant. I am getting frustrated with the 2 yo's. I am constantly telling them the same thing over and over and over. When I try to correct them, I have them repeat what I told them, hoping it will sink in. Stuff like, No throwing toys, No hitting our friends, etc. I know that repetition is key, but i keep thinking that one day it will sink in. Then the 1 yo's. They are super duper smart. They try to hide things if they are not supposed to have things, watch me as they are doing something because they aren't supposed to do it. One of my 1 yo's has me so frustrated. I have my big upstairs living area seperated into two areas, one for the babies and one for the big kids.

The babys are allowed to crawl back and forth, but the bigger kids know to stay in the bigger area. The 1 yo's go back and forth too. The baby area is closed off by an ottoman. The babies can't crawl over it, but the 1 yo I am talking about can. And he does about 500 times a day. I am constantly putting him back in the area. I could buy another gate, but it just isn't a good time to purchase another (money wise). So the ottoman is going to have to do for now. Just don't know how to get it thru his head, or if it is possible to do so. He is 20 months old. Very smart, and knows he isn't supposed to climb over, because as soon as we walk towards him or say something, he scrambles back over. Ugh. Ideas? I am guessing I just need to adjust my expectations. I went from having mostly preschool aged kids to now mostly toddlers.
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cheerfuldom 01:44 PM 10-25-2011
so whats that....12 kids total? wow, that seems like way too many young ones even for 2 people. the only thing I can suggest is to divide and conquer. definitely separate a baby area completely. besides that, i think your expectations are probably too high compared the number of littles versus the amount of supervision two people can actually provide. I would imagine the rowdy behavior is happening when your back is turned or when you are busy changing a diaper and such. they figure out real quick how much they can get away with. I am thinking the best you can do at this point is assembly line style of diapering/feeding/napping and only the bare minimum of actually teaching social skills. I am curious, where are you and what are you licensed for?
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Unregistered 01:51 PM 10-25-2011
Originally Posted by sahm2three:
I have a house full of little littles. Here is the list of ages of kids I have:
4 yo, 3 yo, 2-2 yo's, 3-1 yo's, 11 mo, 2-5 mo, plus I have my own 5 yo and a newborn starting in December. I have a full time assistant. I am getting frustrated with the 2 yo's. I am constantly telling them the same thing over and over and over. When I try to correct them, I have them repeat what I told them, hoping it will sink in. Stuff like, No throwing toys, No hitting our friends, etc. I know that repetition is key, but i keep thinking that one day it will sink in. Then the 1 yo's. They are super duper smart. They try to hide things if they are not supposed to have things, watch me as they are doing something because they aren't supposed to do it. One of my 1 yo's has me so frustrated. I have my big upstairs living area seperated into two areas, one for the babies and one for the big kids. The babys are allowed to crawl back and forth, but the bigger kids know to stay in the bigger area. The 1 yo's go back and forth too. The baby area is closed off by an ottoman. The babies can't crawl over it, but the 1 yo I am talking about can. And he does about 500 times a day. I am constantly putting him back in the area. I could buy another gate, but it just isn't a good time to purchase another (money wise). So the ottoman is going to have to do for now. Just don't know how to get it thru his head, or if it is possible to do so. He is 20 months old. Very smart, and knows he isn't supposed to climb over, because as soon as we walk towards him or say something, he scrambles back over. Ugh. Ideas? I am guessing I just need to adjust my expectations. I went from having mostly preschool aged kids to now mostly toddlers.
The first mistake people make are that 1 and 2 years old dont know better and are to young for punishment this is BULL. From the time the kids turn 1 and do things they arent suppose to they go straight to the naughty mat EVERYTIME they learn very quickly this is why they dont hit me, throw toys, get into things they arent suppose too, etc.. At home thou its a different story because the parents see them as babies still and it does the child no good. Get tough put them in time out everytime they do something naughty they will get the point and you will see a change.
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Heidi 01:51 PM 10-25-2011
I have to be honest-12 little ones with two adults sounds like complete and utter chaos! I would rather have 1/2 that group by myself than the whole group with 2 people. Around here, you'd make the same money either way, so it wouldn't pay to have an assistant for me. Doubling the group would only double the trouble, and I'd net the same in the end.

That said, if you want to keep things the way you have them, I think you need to invest in that gate. I would go ahead and get a "super gate" system, because you can break it up into pieces when you need it, or use against two walls and create a fairly large corner. In the summer, you can also use it outside as a large playpen for the youngest ones. It's nice to be able to clear and area outside and know there are no sticks, acorns, or other choking hazards.
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Blackcat31 02:45 PM 10-25-2011
Wow! That is 7 kids under age 2! What are your state capacity limits? Honestly in my state that would be crazy and we're pretty lax as it is. When we have two adults (both over age 18) we can still only have 4 kids under age 2 and at most only 3 of those 4 can be under 12 months.

I think you are going to experience some pretty normal behaviors for toddlers but most of it will stem from the environment being so crazy with so many littles in the under 2 category.

I often have 12 on my own with no helper or assistant but of those 12 only 2 are under 2 years of age.
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sahm2three 09:24 PM 10-25-2011
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Wow! That is 7 kids under age 2! What are your state capacity limits? Honestly in my state that would be crazy and we're pretty lax as it is. When we have two adults (both over age 18) we can still only have 4 kids under age 2 and at most only 3 of those 4 can be under 12 months.

I think you are going to experience some pretty normal behaviors for toddlers but most of it will stem from the environment being so crazy with so many littles in the under 2 category.

I often have 12 on my own with no helper or assistant but of those 12 only 2 are under 2 years of age.
They aren't all here all the time, and with my full time assistant, I could have 8 under the age of 2 full time.
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daycare 09:48 PM 10-25-2011
I agree the the enviornment sounds a little crazy and they are feeding off of it.

Try telling them what you want them to do instead of always telling them No or don't do this or that.

Show them how you want them to behave.

Gentle hands, nice words, soft voices and etc.

I promise they will respond better.

As fo the 1yr olds, I had a climber and I put up another gate. It was 5 bucks or a headache.

Strt looking on CL now for one.
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mickey2 06:46 AM 10-26-2011
With that many little ones under the age of 2 it is impossible to supervise them all properly. I see and accident waiting to happen here. I suggest reducing the number of children in your care before something serious happens and you regret not doing this sooner. No amount of money is worth a child getting seriously injured or worse. Also you appear to be stressed so your health is not worth it either. JMO
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nannyde 07:15 AM 10-26-2011
I didn't know there WAS a State that allowed eight under twos in a home with two adults and four other kids???????????

YIKES

I know I couldn't manage that. I could do eight under twos with my staff assistant as long as they scooted out of here at two... but I couldn't manage four more with them even with a highly trained assistant.

We have a registration that allows twelve with two providers plus two part time over twos. We can't have more than four under two though and no more than three under 18 months if both providers aren't onsite.

I want to move to your State. I would LOVE to do just cradle care... birth to two with a staff assistant.
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AnythingsPossible 08:24 AM 10-26-2011
I have 2 one year old's and one of my little guys does the exact same thing. He will be in the process of doing something he isn't supposed to do and just look at me and grin and keep right on doing it. If I ask him to stop doing something he keeps doing it, if I ask someone else to stop doing something, he will go do the same thing.

I think it is a way of getting attention. Especially in a large group such as yours. Any kind of attention is worth getting even if it's negative. My little guy is pretty good humored so I he honestly probably doesn't get as much attention as those who I have to watch more.

I have been trying to give him more one on one time so that he doesn't fill the need to behave negatively to get attention, but so far not much has changed, so my theory may be totally off base. But, I do think it is typical of 1's to push just to see how much they can get away with.
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sahm2three 08:57 AM 10-26-2011
UGH. I don't have 8 under two. I am allowed that many. But I don't have that many. I alone am licensed for 12 kids. They are not all here every day. Two of my 1 yo's are almost 2. One will be 2 the beginning of next month and the other in January. I have one freshly turned 1 yo, an almost 6 mo, and an almost 1 yo. Those are all my full time littles. We spend most of our day on the floor with the kids, so the only accident waiting to happen is the kids learning to walk falling into things. Which could happen with one on one care. Once again I was criticized for the ages of my kids, which is not what I was asking for. I was asking if the behavior I was having was age appropriate and how much I should be able to expect as far as learning from redirection and being told no.

I spend a ton of time on the floor, snuggling, playing with them, singing with them and dancing with them. I do a good job.
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nannyde 09:05 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by sahm2three:
UGH. I don't have 8 under two. I am allowed that many. But I don't have that many. I alone am licensed for 12 kids. They are not all here every day. Two of my 1 yo's are almost 2. One will be 2 the beginning of next month and the other in January. I have one freshly turned 1 yo, an almost 6 mo, and an almost 1 yo. Those are all my full time littles. We spend most of our day on the floor with the kids, so the only accident waiting to happen is the kids learning to walk falling into things. Which could happen with one on one care. Once again I was criticized for the ages of my kids, which is not what I was asking for. I was asking if the behavior I was having was age appropriate and how much I should be able to expect as far as learning from redirection and being told no.

I spend a ton of time on the floor, snuggling, playing with them, singing with them and dancing with them. I do a good job.
I'm not criticising you at all.

Please don't think that.

I'm JUST saying that I WISH I could have eight under two with a helper like you CAN ... not do... but CAN have. I could make a business out of that.

It's my dream .......... nothing more.
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dave4him 09:40 AM 10-26-2011
Well one year olds are going to pretty much be the most selfish little creatures of habit we can find, cause its a whole new world to explore every morning since we keep moving things around and making things interesting! So i would use the direct verbal commands and remove them from areas when they are being bad. I can hardly handle the two i got and now im thinking of adding another 1 year old! OY
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Ariana 10:22 AM 10-26-2011
Try telling them what you want them to do, not what you don't want them to do. Kids have a hard time understanding the negation of words. Get down to their level look them in the eye and say "put the rock down". If you say "no throwing rocks", they just hear "throw rocks"!!
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melskids 11:05 AM 10-26-2011
what if you divide and conquer?

maybe one of you should stay in with the littles all the time. (or sit on the ottoman ) while the other one tends to the older ones. maybe that would help?
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Heidi 11:44 AM 10-26-2011
sorry-I wasnt meaning to criticize! It just sounded like so many in your original post, and I got an (innacurate perhaps) vision in my head. sorry... :-)
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Blackcat31 11:51 AM 10-26-2011
Originally Posted by sahm2three:
They aren't all here all the time, and with my full time assistant, I could have 8 under the age of 2 full time.
Oops, sorry, I misunderstood. Now it makes much more sense!

I feel for you right now because I also went from having an older group of kids to having a really young group of kids and now there are days where I feel I am doing nothing but putting stuff back where it came from, righting furniture, picking up messes and putting things out of reach. My books were being destroyed and my daily routine was flying out the window!! It got bad before it got better.

What I did do to make it better was to eliminate almost half of the toys and materials I had out. I allow the kids to simply pick up everything at one time and put it in one giant container rather than expect toddlers to put things back correctly all organized and neat like they were when I had mostly 3-5 year olds. Now instead of a whole row/shelf of books out, I have 5 books (one for each of my "busy" kids). Instead of a box of hot wheel cars, I have 3-4 big chunky trucks and cars. Instead of ALL my arts and craft materials out, I have paper and crayons.

Simplifying the environment makes a huge difference. I also rotate the toys and number of toys allowed out at one time. Keeps their behaviors in check and allows them to have more control over their play spaces. Simplify. It really does work.
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Tags:1 year old, 2 year old, age appropriate - zones, age appropriate behavior, separate areas
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