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Hunni Bee 06:39 PM 12-17-2012
I have posted about this before, but I am still at a loss.


I have several kids in my class who touch each other constantly. At first, it was just hugging/playing/hands on each other type thing. But now it has progressed to kissing, touching and squeezing of each of others' privates and backsides, pulling up and down of clothing.... (I'm sorry if it sounds gross, but it really is gross and I'm not exaggerating.)

These are mostly boys and sometimes a girl. It's constant, these same kids go for each other all the time - while going from one place to the next, especially in line, playtime, circle time. A couple of them, if they can't get near any of their buddies, they'll just start groping the kid next to them.

Even when they have plenty to do, they choose this sort of play. So its not like they are just doing this because they are bored.

Is this age-appropriate behavior? I've never really seen kids that needed to touch each other so much, but it really isn't alarming to a whole lot of the other staff. We are constantly reminding them to keep hands to self and stop touching friends, and they stop for five seconds, then resume. Should I bring this up in a serious way to my colleagues?

Thanks.
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Michael 07:03 PM 12-17-2012
That's a tough one that maybe a professional should speak with you about. My layman suggestion would be to get a book about those areas and sit them down to explain why and when. Maybe making it something other then what they see it as may produce different thinking.
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Unregistered 09:32 PM 12-17-2012
Explain to them while it is perfectly natural that they are courious about their bodies and the bodies of others we all need to respect everyone and their bodies by having a "personal space bubble" and not touching each other like that. maybe also see if their are only certain kids who do this (it usually is an alpha male/female that initiate- usually an older kid).

I am not sure if you are a FCCP or if you work in a center but some possible options:
Depending on the age of the kids (older than 3 or 4) you may want to consider asking parent's if you do a "stranger danger" curriculum or a "personal space" curriculum. You get a non-anatomically correct doll and get a bikini or even a onsie swim suit and explain that the areas in the bathing suit are private areas that they shouldn't allow other to touch (exept if an adult is changing a babies daiper/assisting with pottying or medical reasons). You may have to be very careful with how you word this because if you shame them or are too stict it can cause some deep seeded body image/intamacy/distrust issues- also different cultural differences can cause big issues. Possibly look up a "strange danger" there are some child books about not this like "private parts are not for sharing" (a christian book). Then before conducting this lession let the parent's review your lession plan and if most parent's are okay with it but some are not suggest that those children either be moved to another group/activity or not attend during this time.

Another option is to have a newsletter and inform parents that some children have been trying to invade each other's "personal space" and that it would be greatly appriciated if parents discuss to their children about respecting each other's bodies by not touching each other in certain ways. Such as only certain touches are okay (like hugs or holding hands but not goosing or fondling some one else's body) you can recommend websites to help understand how to talk about difficult subjects or reccomend children's books that parents can review and then read to their child at home and then discuss to their child about after.
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Kaddidle Care 05:59 AM 12-18-2012
I have worked with many children and while there is always one that needs to be reminded to keep his/her hands to him/herself, this grabbing you are speaking of is way inappropriate and it sounds like it's become a game and a habit and needs to be stopped immediately.

A sit down with the parents/guardians is a priority as there needs to be follow up with this at home. I didn't see in your post that the parents were advised of this problem at all.

I would also watch the instigator for signs of sexual abuse. This kind of behavior is NOT normal IMHO.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 06:39 AM 12-18-2012
Originally Posted by Kaddidle Care:
I have worked with many children and while there is always one that needs to be reminded to keep his/her hands to him/herself, this grabbing you are speaking of is way inappropriate and it sounds like it's become a game and a habit and needs to be stopped immediately.

A sit down with the parents/guardians is a priority as there needs to be follow up with this at home. I didn't see in your post that the parents were advised of this problem at all.

I would also watch the instigator for signs of sexual abuse. This kind of behavior is NOT normal IMHO.
Absolutely!!
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MamaG 10:18 AM 12-18-2012
Originally Posted by Hunni Bee:
I have posted about this before, but I am still at a loss.


I have several kids in my class who touch each other constantly. At first, it was just hugging/playing/hands on each other type thing. But now it has progressed to kissing, touching and squeezing of each of others' privates and backsides, pulling up and down of clothing.... (I'm sorry if it sounds gross, but it really is gross and I'm not exaggerating.)

These are mostly boys and sometimes a girl. It's constant, these same kids go for each other all the time - while going from one place to the next, especially in line, playtime, circle time. A couple of them, if they can't get near any of their buddies, they'll just start groping the kid next to them.

Even when they have plenty to do, they choose this sort of play. So its not like they are just doing this because they are bored.

Is this age-appropriate behavior? I've never really seen kids that needed to touch each other so much, but it really isn't alarming to a whole lot of the other staff. We are constantly reminding them to keep hands to self and stop touching friends, and they stop for five seconds, then resume. Should I bring this up in a serious way to my colleagues?

Thanks.
Wow! What are their ages? I've never seen this from any kids ever in my life, except maybe high school students. I would be very concerned and I would seek a professional opinion. Either these kids watch mom n dad when they shouldn't be or are watching something they shouldn't be on tv, those two options are the good options!
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Tags:handsy, inappropriate behavior, inappropriate touching, touching
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