Daycare.com Forum Kidacare by Minute Menu Force of Nature Disinfectant HiMama Childcare App

Go Back   Daycare.com Forum > Main Category > Daycare Center and Family Home Forum

Daycare Center and Family Home Forum Daycare Center and Family Home owners, Directors, Operators and Assistants should post and ask questions here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #101  
Old 12-12-2013, 01:03 PM
Cradle2crayons's Avatar
Cradle2crayons Cradle2crayons is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Deep in the woods....
Posts: 3,634
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Soccermom View Post
Honestly, if I enjoyed your company and you were willing to help out with the other kids while you were here then I would say - Sure, pick me up a coffee on the way in BUT if you made me feel uncomfortable and self conscious in any way then I would have to say No.

I don't believe it would in any way benefit your baby though. 4 months is so young to be in daycare. At this age, they need routine and their Mommy.
They do eventually adjust to daycare because children are built to adapt but the first few months are sure to be a rocky road no matter what.

If you really need to return to work now, all you can do is find a provider you trust with all your heart and give her the freedom to become a part of your child's life.

Good luck. I know how hard leaving your baby with someone else can be. That is why I got into childcare in the first place. I couldn't find anyone I trusted with my child...that's when I knew it probably wasn't them - It was me. 10 years later, here I am still doing daycare.
I'm like a few others. I prefer they start at six weeks here. My experience is that the transition is so much easier for baby.
  #102  
Old 12-12-2013, 01:47 PM
itlw8's Avatar
itlw8 itlw8 is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Missouri
Posts: 2,199
Default

It is extremely unlikely that a 4 month old would or even could be mad at her mother and ignore her for hours.. Instead she is learning about the world around her. It is a good thing to look at other things. I know it may feel that way but truly she is not avoiding you.
__________________
It will wait
  #103  
Old 12-12-2013, 02:15 PM
saved4always's Avatar
saved4always saved4always is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,011
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
Whenever women talk about money, especially when it comes to the care of children, there is always the perception that there is some kind of emotional problem. That makes me LAUGH my arse off.

Just because we are talking about the WORK and BUSINESS of taking care of kids it does NOT mean we can't talk about MONEY every step of the way. It's OKAY to talk about MONEY. It's okay to associate the WORK and TIME of this business directly about MONEY. It's done in every single other child related business.

Every single piece of equipment, piece of clothing, bib, pacifier, bottle, sheet, crib, car seat.... every single good that is related to children there are legions of people who talk about MONEY as the product is developed, manufactured, shipped, and sold.

There's nobody at Graco telling them that they shouldn't discuss MONEY because the products they sell are for the BAYYYYBEEES. If Eddie Bauer didn't have MONEY discussions they wouldn't be able to sell car seats.

Why can't we? Why are we the ONE group who can't put MONEY into the conversation as THE topic that must be dealt with FIRST before anything else works? Every other business does that serves kids.

Oh I know... it's because we are a bunch of WOMEN and we should love first then take whatever scraps of money that is sent our way to feed, clothe, and house OUR kids.

I'm not burnt out. I make a GREAT living. I don't allow emotional words like "burnt out" and "it's not about the money" phase me. Just like I said before... we have heard it ALL before. You have the SAME words. You have the SAME inflection. You have the SAME message. You haven't come up with a single phrase or idea that hasn't been jammed down our throats our entire career. We've heard it all and it is just that... WORDS.

When you want to actually TALK money then we can explain money. If you want us to do it for love... well you have to find somebody who is selling something else. I have the pleasure to make money and love. I know better than to get into something where I don't make money to cause me not to love my work. I get paid a fair wage in all my endeavors. My clients are business folks too... they get money. They may not understand day care money when they come to me but they do by the third interview. They want me to be prosperous. They want me to be happy. I'm happy being prosperous even though I'm a mere girl.
Well said. I absolutely love kids (I can't help but make faces and smile at adorable babies in church ) but I would never have watched someone else's for free. Income was always the reason for my in home daycare business. I wouldn't have done it if I did not like children, of course, but I started it to make some money when my daughter was younger.
  #104  
Old 12-12-2013, 02:17 PM
saved4always's Avatar
saved4always saved4always is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,011
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
That was kind of rude.
It isnt the children that makes this job hard or difficult. It's parents like you that make it so hard. Unrealistic expectations and wanting individualized attention.



Everyone does this for money.. I dont know a single working person that doesnt. If they say they do something just for the love of it with no money involved, they would do it for free.

Loving the job helps but dont assume that is the only reason providers open their homes and hearts to others. It's the money plain and simple.

When there is no money involved it's called a hobby.
Or "volunteering" .
  #105  
Old 12-12-2013, 02:47 PM
Leanna's Avatar
Leanna Leanna is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New York State
Posts: 503
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Heidi View Post
I can tell you that "burnt out" or "over it" are pretty much the polar opposites of Nan's experience. If you get a chance, look on Daycare.com's main page and read some of her blogs. It's a different perspective than you get from forum answers.
Quote:
Originally Posted by CedarCreek View Post
Then consider me "burnt out" or "over it" too. I guess that's what you get for telling it like it is.

Pertaining to the money aspect: I do ANY type of job for the MONEY. My family needs money to survive and I am not ashamed to provide for them. I love kids but I am not going to miss payments on my car or house or my sons braces just to care for the two that I have. That's why I'm closing up shop and doing other work for a while. It's for the :GASP: money
Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
Oh Cedar you can do any OTHER job for money... just not child care. Well you can do child care for money as long as it's not the number ONE reason you do child care. It has to be LOVE first.

It's hard to grasp the concept that well paid and fairly compensated for the actual WORK and time will net your kid a heck of a lot more love.
Funny, it isn't the "say it like it is" style or the declaration that you work for money that gives me the impression that you are "over it." It is the way you talk about children and families. It is the way you dismiss widely held practices in the field of early childhood education.

We all obviously work for the money. There are some professions, however, where it is expected for one to have something "more" in terms of motivation: doctors, teachers, counselors, and, yes, day care providers. This is true whether we like it or not. We work to earn money so we can pay our bills and take care of ourselves and our families, BUT we also provide love (or at least affection, I hope), security, learning, guidance, and much more to precious little ones. If we were ONLY in it for the money, we wouldn't do it (I believe this includes you, too Nan). We could all earn more at Walmart & we wouldn't have to keep our houses spotless to boot. It doesn't have to be love first....but it does have to be love too.

Heidi, I've read all her blogs. More than once. Seen the youtube videos. Read many old threads on this site. To be completely honest, I find Nan to be a highly intriguing individual. For the most part, I vehemently disagree with almost everything she says. I wouldn't enroll my child in her daycare because we would not be a good fit. I find her tone in her writing to be extremely caustic and downright rude and condescending on occasion. Yet, she has been in the business for twice as long as I have with many happy customers. People on this forum who have spoken personally to her glow about how caring and understanding she is. I have seen her give out her personal contact info to struggling providers. In her videos I see how the kids are so obviously comfortable with her. I try really hard to reconcile these two images in my head.
  #106  
Old 12-12-2013, 03:09 PM
Heidi's Avatar
Heidi Heidi is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 6,857
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
Soccermom is in Canada. 4 months IS young to be in daycare there.
oh, sorry Soccermom! I wasn't picking on you, anyway. You know I don't play like that.
  #107  
Old 12-12-2013, 03:34 PM
Heidi's Avatar
Heidi Heidi is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 6,857
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Leanna View Post
Funny, it isn't the "say it like it is" style or the declaration that you work for money that gives me the impression that you are "over it." It is the way you talk about children and families. It is the way you dismiss widely held practices in the field of early childhood education.


This part, I have to argue a little. The whole "widely held practices" changes like the wind. It's a science; and just like any science, it's a whole lot of theories that are right only until someone else theorizes that they're wrong. Particularly when you are dealing with people, there is never really a "right answer". It's just too fluid. There are clearly theories that are wrong; but rarely any that are proven right.

We all obviously work for the money. There are some professions, however, where it is expected for one to have something "more" in terms of motivation: doctors, teachers, counselors, and, yes, day care providers. This is true whether we like it or not. We work to earn money so we can pay our bills and take care of ourselves and our families, BUT we also provide love (or at least affection, I hope), security, learning, guidance, and much more to precious little ones. If we were ONLY in it for the money, we wouldn't do it (I believe this includes you, too Nan). We could all earn more at Walmart & we wouldn't have to keep our houses spotless to boot. It doesn't have to be love first....but it does have to be love too.

Heidi, I've read all her blogs. More than once. Seen the youtube videos. Read many old threads on this site. To be completely honest, I find Nan to be a highly intriguing individual. For the most part, I vehemently disagree with almost everything she says. I wouldn't enroll my child in her daycare because we would not be a good fit. I find her tone in her writing to be extremely caustic and downright rude and condescending on occasion. Yet, she has been in the business for twice as long as I have with many happy customers. People on this forum who have spoken personally to her glow about how caring and understanding she is. I have seen her give out her personal contact info to struggling providers. In her videos I see how the kids are so obviously comfortable with her. I try really hard to reconcile these two images in my head.
Yep, I get that. I think even Nan gets that. Sorry to talk about you like you're not in the room, Nan. It's kind of like the character Sheldon on "Big Bang Theory" (and 2 of my sons). Intelligent, quirky, and lovable. My favorite kind of person, actually.
  #108  
Old 12-12-2013, 04:09 PM
TaylorTots's Avatar
TaylorTots TaylorTots is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 613
Default

What does it matter she is new provider or that her only other child in care is her own daughter?

Helping her adjust by staying longer will actually make her develop anxiety issues about separation - she will never know when you are leaving her. If you keep to a drop off routine, she will adjust. She is 4 months old - you are not going to be causing later life problems by giving her stability and routine.
  #109  
Old 12-12-2013, 04:23 PM
CedarCreek's Avatar
CedarCreek CedarCreek is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,529
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by saved4always View Post
Or "volunteering" .
True that. I volunteer at my local kill shelter and that is some serious work that I do not get paid for. But I get paid in big, wet dog kisses.
  #110  
Old 12-12-2013, 04:42 PM
nannyde's Avatar
nannyde nannyde is offline
All powerful, all knowing daycare whisperer
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Des Moines
Posts: 7,292
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Leanna View Post
Funny, it isn't the "say it like it is" style or the declaration that you work for money that gives me the impression that you are "over it." It is the way you talk about children and families. It is the way you dismiss widely held practices in the field of early childhood education.

We all obviously work for the money. There are some professions, however, where it is expected for one to have something "more" in terms of motivation: doctors, teachers, counselors, and, yes, day care providers. This is true whether we like it or not. We work to earn money so we can pay our bills and take care of ourselves and our families, BUT we also provide love (or at least affection, I hope), security, learning, guidance, and much more to precious little ones. If we were ONLY in it for the money, we wouldn't do it (I believe this includes you, too Nan). We could all earn more at Walmart & we wouldn't have to keep our houses spotless to boot. It doesn't have to be love first....but it does have to be love too.

Heidi, I've read all her blogs. More than once. Seen the youtube videos. Read many old threads on this site. To be completely honest, I find Nan to be a highly intriguing individual. For the most part, I vehemently disagree with almost everything she says. I wouldn't enroll my child in her daycare because we would not be a good fit. I find her tone in her writing to be extremely caustic and downright rude and condescending on occasion. Yet, she has been in the business for twice as long as I have with many happy customers. People on this forum who have spoken personally to her glow about how caring and understanding she is. I have seen her give out her personal contact info to struggling providers. In her videos I see how the kids are so obviously comfortable with her. I try really hard to reconcile these two images in my head.
I don't dismiss widely held practices in early childhood education. I'm not an early childhood educator. I'm a babysitter.

I'm not against DAP. I just don't offer it. I'm NOT against Attachment Parenting. I'm all for parents coming up with their own style. I'm not silly enough to think there's only one way to end up with great kids.

My daycare parents read everything I write. They have the unusual opportunity to read thousands of my posts here and a ten year history of my internet postings. They know my consulting work. Their kids are in my videos. When they come here they bring up threads from here that are years old. I get a lot of questions about them. They search this site and the other sites I am on. They are reading this thread.

I get a lot of teasing whenever it gets hot here. I'm fully expecting a kid to arrive tomorrow with a onesie with a dollar sign on it. I will PAY... that's for sure.

I'm not fooling anyone. I don't work for fools. I raise great kids. I have a LONG history of raising good kids. That's what they want. That's what I do.
  #111  
Old 12-12-2013, 05:29 PM
Blackcat31's Avatar
Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 18,422
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
I don't dismiss widely held practices in early childhood education. I'm not an early childhood educator. I'm a babysitter.

I'm not fooling anyone. I don't work for fools. I raise great kids. I have a LONG history of raising good kids. That's what they want. That's what I do.
On top of that ^^ she rocks a great Anne Murray !!!
  #112  
Old 12-12-2013, 05:33 PM
nannyde's Avatar
nannyde nannyde is offline
All powerful, all knowing daycare whisperer
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Des Moines
Posts: 7,292
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
On top of that ^^ she rocks a great Anne Murray !!!
He he he

Eat your heart out Anne!
  #113  
Old 12-12-2013, 05:50 PM
Soccermom's Avatar
Soccermom Soccermom is offline
Dazed and confused...
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: PEI
Posts: 625
Default

Oh no, I didn't mean to fuel any fires

I forget that not everyone gets a 1 year mat leave. For me it just seems so little, I can't imagine handing off my little 4 month old to someone I didn't know very well. I couldn't even let my own MIL keep my babies at that age LOL!

Mind you I would love for someone to drop one off to me for the day! We only get them when they turn 1 here
  #114  
Old 12-12-2013, 06:00 PM
Cradle2crayons's Avatar
Cradle2crayons Cradle2crayons is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Deep in the woods....
Posts: 3,634
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Soccermom View Post
Oh no, I didn't mean to fuel any fires

I forget that not everyone gets a 1 year mat leave. For me it just seems so little, I can't imagine handing off my little 4 month old to someone I didn't know very well. I couldn't even let my own MIL keep my babies at that age LOL!

Mind you I would love for someone to drop one off to me for the day! We only get them when they turn 1 here
As long as you don't use a candle to fuel any fires... I hear they aren't appropriate for a daycare environment... Oh crap... Off topic again... Back to he light bulb thread....
  #115  
Old 12-12-2013, 06:04 PM
saved4always's Avatar
saved4always saved4always is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,011
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Soccermom View Post
Oh no, I didn't mean to fuel any fires

I forget that not everyone gets a 1 year mat leave. For me it just seems so little, I can't imagine handing off my little 4 month old to someone I didn't know very well. I couldn't even let my own MIL keep my babies at that age LOL!

Mind you I would love for someone to drop one off to me for the day! We only get them when they turn 1 here
Yep, maternity leave here is not so generous. When I had my boys 18 and 20 years ago, I got 6 weeks....yes WEEKS....of paid maternity leave (I think the first was full pay and the second was 60% or something). At the time we couldn't afford for me not to work so my babies went to daycare when my paid leave was up. I don't think unpaid leave was even an option with my workplace. I believe (correct me if I am wrong) now by law work places have to hold your job for you for 12 weeks...that is hold the job, not necessarily paid leave. Of course, some work places can afford and offer more generous leaves but I am sure those are few and far between.

I was fortunate with my youngest that we could afford for me to quit working so I got to stay home with her. Best decision of my life . I was very blessed that I could be a sahm with at least one of my 3 kids from birth. I have never regretted it.
  #116  
Old 12-12-2013, 08:50 PM
Lyss's Avatar
Lyss Lyss is offline
Chaos Coordinator :)
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: NW
Posts: 1,360
Default

This is why I no longer take part time infants. It's very hard for them to adjust to a daycare setting. Its especially hard if they are coming from a home where they are held 24/7 or picked up every time they make a sound because even if this works at home it doesn't work in a group care setting the majority of the time.

I've had 2 infants with nearly this same issue. They came part time, fine in the morning but as the day wore on became a constant screamer unless held or in a swing. Both turned into all day screamers but one set of parents was willing to work with me and DCG adjusted after about a month (went from crying 24/7 to totally happy baby), the other family made no effort and nothing changed so I had to term them.

I understand its hard as a parent to know your baby is upset and I am sorry you are going through this but if you really want to make it work with the daycare (the vibe I'm getting is you would prefer to just stay home) then consistency is key. Work out a schedule that works for both of you and keep too it, if you hold your LO all the time give her a bit of tummy time next to you and gradually increase the distance so she gets comfortable playing not being entertained, help her learn to fall asleep on her own, and don't over think ever decision you're making because you'll go insane. You obviously care about your child, sending her to daycare doesn't mean you don't care. The DCG I had that was the screaming infant is now a thriving, intelligent, and loving 2.5 year old she isn't suffering from any abandonment issues. She's seriously one of the best DCKs I have and I'm so glad things worked out.
  #117  
Old 12-12-2013, 09:07 PM
blandino's Avatar
blandino blandino is offline
Daycare.com member
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Tulsa area
Posts: 1,508
Default

Dear unregistered OP, wherever you are...

I just read your last post that says your daughter is "very part-time".

I understand that you are looking for a long slow adjustment period. While that may *seem*' like an easy gentle way to ease her in, it is actually MUCH MUCH harder. A long, slow, drawn out process that doesn't leave her in daycare enough back to back days to get used to it, is going to be harder on everyone. If she starts to adjust after 1/2 days, and then she is home with you for a few days, she is going to completely lose all of the adjusting she did during the daycare days, (this is why a lot of providers don't take part-time infants). It is going to be turbulent. To me finding out that she is "very part-time" gave me a huge "No, wonder she is having a hard time".

Much like the staying for hours at the provider's home. It just makes things harder in the long run. You still have to get them used to being at daycare without you.

As much as you are going to hate to hear it, you need to start her full-time (whenever you do), and then give it a month of going full-time. And then see how she is doing.

As far as helping your provider figure out your baby, that is something the provider needs to do by herself. She has her own style, which isn't and shouldn't be the same as yours - and she needs to figure out how she is going to respond to baby. I know she is your little girl and special in your own eyes, but no baby is so special/different that the provider needs to be taught/shown how to care for them. The provider will do it her way, and she and baby will both adjust to each other.

Please please please do not keep baby "very part-time", she will never adjust with that type of schedule. Full immersion is BY FAR the best way to get her to adjust.
  #118  
Old 12-12-2013, 09:22 PM
cheerfuldom's Avatar
cheerfuldom cheerfuldom is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 7,415
Default

I do my job for money.....didn't realize that was a crime. I would never do this for free. I rarely even watch my nieces and nephews for free, we trade favors in our families. I enjoy kids. I think most teachers, pediatricians, etc also enjoy children but no one would do this type of work for free. No one does this out of love. I would love to see one daycare center that is up and running on volunteer manpower only (government assistance and vouchers and grants is still money!). Show me one provider or nanny that just opens up their home, provides all supplies and activities out of the pure goodness of their heart. Maybe there is one Mother Teresa out there but even she has got to eat.....someone somewhere is paying the providers bills.

OP also mentioned she does not have to work outside the home, she chooses to. That is a very privileged place to be and many times, makes a parent quite demanding. They know the provider is in desperate need of the income the parents provide (OP did say that) and that they themselves do not feel that same desperation to make this situation work (she also implied that) and the dynamics here create an imbalance of power. The parent knows that the provider will do a lot of one-on-one attention and hand holding in order to keep the income flowing. Obviously this other provider is doing this for the money. but that whole scenario is not something the OP is living with and it is hard to understand what that is like if you are not there. It is a very "first world problem" to be so fortunate that all your needs are met, probably many of your wants, and you have nothing more urgent on your plate to than to scrutinize every cry from your child.

Like Nan said, her grandma was way too worried about food, shelter and clothes for a huge family.....there is no time to try and figure out why Jr. sneezed yesterday.

I realize that my post here may be a bit harsh but I am over this whole discussion. I do have some frustration with past experiences with very demanding moms. The two that come to mind ended up staying at home with their own children which I think was best for their family. Honestly, I would almost always recommend that if a mom has the option, she stay home with her baby. That is my own personal belief that babies thrive best with mom.
  #119  
Old 12-13-2013, 03:38 AM
Sugar Magnolia's Avatar
Sugar Magnolia Sugar Magnolia is offline
Blossoms Blooming
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Where the wind goes.....
Posts: 2,379
Default

Mom doesn't need to work. She perceives her provider "really needs the money".....terrible combination.

OP.......PLEASE HIRE A NANNY.
  #120  
Old 12-13-2013, 04:35 AM
saved4always's Avatar
saved4always saved4always is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,011
Default

I agree that the very part time...only 8 hours a week....makes it difficult, if not nearly impossible for baby to adjust to the provider and the provider's home. Part time babies almost always take longer to adjust than full time because of the lack of time and consistency. Mom staying half a day only teaches baby that mom will be with her at daycare, too..eventually mom has to leave for work so baby will just be more confused about what to expect.

I also agree with other providers here that this daycare provider needs to learn baby on her own. Parents cannot expect to "teach" the provider how to respond to their baby. That is actually pretty condescending, thinking you need to teach your baby to your provider in so much detail. The provider usually has much more experience in parenting than mom. I have watched many infants in my time as a dcp. I loved it when the parents would give me a note with information about how much the baby ate, how often, what baby liked, how they napped, etc. It made my job easier to have some insight into baby's personality and routine at home. I would not have liked someone standing behind me nit picking how I did the work of taking care of baby. I like to cuddle so my babies all got plenty of attention and I brought up 3 of my own as well as many dc babies....I do not need "instruction" on baby care and do not need to know exactly how mom does every single thing.

And lastly, babies cry. Crying does not cause brain damage and it does not cause mental or emotional issues later in life. My oldest had colic and cried for hours a day for 8 MONTHS. He is a totally adjusted, wonderful young man now. This is how babies show they are not happy with a situation. As long as needs are all met in a timely manner and baby is loved, he/she will be fine. Eventually they learn that crying does not change every circumstance. But, they are like any of us...we will keep complaining until we realize the complaint is not going to change the situation.

Honestly, someone who wants or needs this much control, does not really need to work should probably be a stay at home mom.
  #121  
Old 12-13-2013, 06:24 AM
Familycare71's Avatar
Familycare71 Familycare71 is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: New York
Posts: 1,693
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
Whenever women talk about money, especially when it comes to the care of children, there is always the perception that there is some kind of emotional problem. That makes me LAUGH my arse off.

Just because we are talking about the WORK and BUSINESS of taking care of kids it does NOT mean we can't talk about MONEY every step of the way. It's OKAY to talk about MONEY. It's okay to associate the WORK and TIME of this business directly about MONEY. It's done in every single other child related business.

Every single piece of equipment, piece of clothing, bib, pacifier, bottle, sheet, crib, car seat.... every single good that is related to children there are legions of people who talk about MONEY as the product is developed, manufactured, shipped, and sold.

There's nobody at Graco telling them that they shouldn't discuss MONEY because the products they sell are for the BAYYYYBEEES. If Eddie Bauer didn't have MONEY discussions they wouldn't be able to sell car seats.

Why can't we? Why are we the ONE group who can't put MONEY into the conversation as THE topic that must be dealt with FIRST before anything else works? Every other business does that serves kids.

Oh I know... it's because we are a bunch of WOMEN and we should love first then take whatever scraps of money that is sent our way to feed, clothe, and house OUR kids.

I'm not burnt out. I make a GREAT living. I don't allow emotional words like "burnt out" and "it's not about the money" phase me. Just like I said before... we have heard it ALL before. You have the SAME words. You have the SAME inflection. You have the SAME message. You haven't come up with a single phrase or idea that hasn't been jammed down our throats our entire career. We've heard it all and it is just that... WORDS.

When you want to actually TALK money then we can explain money. If you want us to do it for love... well you have to find somebody who is selling something else. I have the pleasure to make money and love. I know better than to get into something where I don't make money to cause me not to love my work. I get paid a fair wage in all my endeavors. My clients are business folks too... they get money. They may not understand day care money when they come to me but they do by the third interview. They want me to be prosperous. They want me to be happy. I'm happy being prosperous even though I'm a mere girl.
  #122  
Old 12-13-2013, 06:27 AM
Familycare71's Avatar
Familycare71 Familycare71 is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: New York
Posts: 1,693
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by daycarediva View Post
I don't think she is burnt out, either. I think she is OVER parents attempting to dictate her time and resources and tell her how she should run her business. I think she is blunt enough to say it how it is, without sugar coating it and fluffing it up. But burnt out, I don't think so.

Honestly, the kids do NOT wear me out. I can DO kids. I like kids. I LOVE my job.

The parents wear me out. Day in, day out, failing to do their job and then attempting to transfer that issue on to me. "Joe wouldn't go to bed last night so Joe will need an early nap." Well, I have 5 other kids who do NOT need an early nap. That will NOT work for me. kwim? Not bringing supplies so that I can do MY job with their child. Having to send home newsletters that require a signature and date because grown adults don't have an idea what 'acceptable clothing for outdoor play' means without a friggin checklist? Dope and drop? Rudeness and disrespect? The entire generation of NON parenting and MY CHILD CAN NEVER CRY. It isn't realistic and if you WANT individual and special for your child....stay home or get a nanny. Individual and special to NOT equate to group care.
  #123  
Old 12-13-2013, 08:21 AM
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

OP here

Quote:
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom View Post
OP also mentioned she does not have to work outside the home, she chooses to. That is a very privileged place to be and many times, makes a parent quite demanding. They know the provider is in desperate need of the income the parents provide (OP did say that) and that they themselves do not feel that same desperation to make this situation work (she also implied that) and the dynamics here create an imbalance of power. The parent knows that the provider will do a lot of one-on-one attention and hand holding in order to keep the income flowing. Obviously this other provider is doing this for the money. but that whole scenario is not something the OP is living with and it is hard to understand what that is like if you are not there. It is a very "first world problem" to be so fortunate that all your needs are met, probably many of your wants, and you have nothing more urgent on your plate to than to scrutinize every cry from your child.
I don't know that she's in desperate need of income; her house is much bigger than mine. Her cars are nicer than mine. The interior of her house is WAY better than mine. I live in a POS because I don't like to spend money on where I live. It's got holes in the ceilings from everything leaking, the carpet smelled of puke when we moved in, and a lot of the cabinets don't have doors. It's in the worst part of town. I don't own a tv. I don't have an ipad, iphone, or even a phone with a data plan. We don't make that much money but I have money to spend because I don't buy those things and my mortgage is cheap because we bought a pos that was repossessed. I'm sure they make more money then we do. Especially now that I quit my regular job to go back to school. But she does show an obvious want for money. I only take my daughter twice a week for four hours but she asked that I pay the fee for full time. Fine. I'll pay what she wants. I'm not worried about it being "fair." My daughter might not even be going technically full time, 35 hours/week, but I will still pay the full time price because I originally agreed to that. I plan on giving her a week's pay as a bonus over xmas, and we also pay for her time off. It might be that I've recognized a small weakness in her want of money but she too might recognize that I have no problem spending it if that's what motivates her. So in a way I feel we're pretty compatible.
  #124  
Old 12-13-2013, 08:39 AM
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by blandino View Post
Dear unregistered OP, wherever you are...

I just read your last post that says your daughter is "very part-time".

I understand that you are looking for a long slow adjustment period. While that may *seem*' like an easy gentle way to ease her in, it is actually MUCH MUCH harder. A long, slow, drawn out process that doesn't leave her in daycare enough back to back days to get used to it, is going to be harder on everyone. If she starts to adjust after 1/2 days, and then she is home with you for a few days, she is going to completely lose all of the adjusting she did during the daycare days, (this is why a lot of providers don't take part-time infants). It is going to be turbulent. To me finding out that she is "very part-time" gave me a huge "No, wonder she is having a hard time".

Much like the staying for hours at the provider's home. It just makes things harder in the long run. You still have to get them used to being at daycare without you.

As much as you are going to hate to hear it, you need to start her full-time (whenever you do), and then give it a month of going full-time. And then see how she is doing.

As far as helping your provider figure out your baby, that is something the provider needs to do by herself. She has her own style, which isn't and shouldn't be the same as yours - and she needs to figure out how she is going to respond to baby. I know she is your little girl and special in your own eyes, but no baby is so special/different that the provider needs to be taught/shown how to care for them. The provider will do it her way, and she and baby will both adjust to each other.

Please please please do not keep baby "very part-time", she will never adjust with that type of schedule. Full immersion is BY FAR the best way to get her to adjust.
Well that sucks. A friend of mine suggested I do that. It's what she does with her kids. I can see how it's making it harder for my lg, though. I think it is best to start her full time next week. Just rip the band aide off! that's gonna be so hard.

Thank you all for your comments. I decided not to ask to stay. And today I dropped the "rescuer" mentality. I dropped her off and left. Usually I sit in the car for awhile to see if I can hear her cry. Sometimes I'll drive back by later on to see if I hear her cry. But I've stopped all that. I haven't gotten a text from the provider this afternoon again so I'm sure she's crying but I'm sitting at home. Blah. I started with one foot in the door but now realize that I was just creating more problems. If I'm going to find out if this works I have to back off. I hate that she's going through this but I realized that by rescuing her, hovering, worrying when I leave, that I'm not only creating anxiety in the provider (maybe) but I'm also not showing that much faith in my own daughter. I think my behavior is sending out signals that she's weak and can't cope, and maybe I thought that. She's little, but she's smart.

I love my provider and know she'll do everything she can do make my lg happy. That was never the question. I guess the real doubt was if my daughter could respond to her cues. I think at the heart of all my worry was that I had no faith in my own daughter.

Thanks again everyone!

Oh, here is the link to the article I read suggesting I stay to help her adjust:

http://www.ivillage.com/babies-deali...ion/6-n-137358

In the article is says, "The caregiver can observe your interactions with your child and you and the caregiver can begin building the strong partnership which will form the basis of quality, consistent care for your child."

Guess not!! haha
  #125  
Old 12-13-2013, 08:54 AM
daycarediva's Avatar
daycarediva daycarediva is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 11,371
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
Well that sucks. A friend of mine suggested I do that. It's what she does with her kids. I can see how it's making it harder for my lg, though. I think it is best to start her full time next week. Just rip the band aide off! that's gonna be so hard.

Thank you all for your comments. I decided not to ask to stay. And today I dropped the "rescuer" mentality. I dropped her off and left. Usually I sit in the car for awhile to see if I can hear her cry. Sometimes I'll drive back by later on to see if I hear her cry. But I've stopped all that. I haven't gotten a text from the provider this afternoon again so I'm sure she's crying but I'm sitting at home. Blah. I started with one foot in the door but now realize that I was just creating more problems. If I'm going to find out if this works I have to back off. I hate that she's going through this but I realized that by rescuing her, hovering, worrying when I leave, that I'm not only creating anxiety in the provider (maybe) but I'm also not showing that much faith in my own daughter. I think my behavior is sending out signals that she's weak and can't cope, and maybe I thought that. She's little, but she's smart.

I love my provider and know she'll do everything she can do make my lg happy. That was never the question. I guess the real doubt was if my daughter could respond to her cues. I think at the heart of all my worry was that I had no faith in my own daughter.

Thanks again everyone!

Oh, here is the link to the article I read suggesting I stay to help her adjust:

http://www.ivillage.com/babies-deali...ion/6-n-137358

In the article is says, "The caregiver can observe your interactions with your child and you and the caregiver can begin building the strong partnership which will form the basis of quality, consistent care for your child."

Guess not!! haha
Great job!!!!!! I do disagree with the article. Just because I see you interact with your child, doesn't mean I need to interact in the same way. I come up with my own little nicknames for the children in my care and we have our own special things to talk about and bond over.

As far as the $$$ goes- it's standard in my area to charge a flat rate per space especially for high demand infant spaces. It's also standard to charge for paid holidays, and the daycare rates in my area are high. One month for one ft child is right around my mortgage payment.

I do make a decent living, but I also genuinely care for and love my day care children. You can have both.
  #126  
Old 12-13-2013, 09:18 AM
julie's Avatar
julie julie is offline
New Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 172
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
OP here



I don't know that she's in desperate need of income; her house is much bigger than mine. Her cars are nicer than mine. The interior of her house is WAY better than mine. I live in a POS because I don't like to spend money on where I live. It's got holes in the ceilings from everything leaking, the carpet smelled of puke when we moved in, and a lot of the cabinets don't have doors. It's in the worst part of town. I don't own a tv. I don't have an ipad, iphone, or even a phone with a data plan. We don't make that much money but I have money to spend because I don't buy those things and my mortgage is cheap because we bought a pos that was repossessed. I'm sure they make more money then we do. Especially now that I quit my regular job to go back to school. But she does show an obvious want for money. I only take my daughter twice a week for four hours but she asked that I pay the fee for full time. Fine. I'll pay what she wants. I'm not worried about it being "fair." My daughter might not even be going technically full time, 35 hours/week, but I will still pay the full time price because I originally agreed to that. I plan on giving her a week's pay as a bonus over xmas, and we also pay for her time off. It might be that I've recognized a small weakness in her want of money but she too might recognize that I have no problem spending it if that's what motivates her. So in a way I feel we're pretty compatible.
Never mind. You have decided not to stay, so my comment is null and void.

Last edited by julie; 12-13-2013 at 09:20 AM. Reason: POsts in between my typing cleared up the question.
  #127  
Old 12-13-2013, 09:36 AM
TwinKristi's Avatar
TwinKristi TwinKristi is offline
Family Childcare Provider
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,389
Default

I'm glad you're giving them a chance! I hope she has a great day today.
  #128  
Old 12-13-2013, 10:22 AM
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by TwinKristi View Post
I'm glad you're giving them a chance! I hope she has a great day today.
She did have a great day, thanks! When I picked her up I tried so hard to bite my tongue and not ask, "Did she cry?" But I asked .
  #129  
Old 12-13-2013, 10:24 AM
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by daycarediva View Post
Great job!!!!!! I do disagree with the article. Just because I see you interact with your child, doesn't mean I need to interact in the same way. I come up with my own little nicknames for the children in my care and we have our own special things to talk about and bond over.
Ya, that thought never crossed my mind. I was pretty sure the provider needed to be a carbon copy of me!! haha. I'm sure my OH is going to appreciate my new-found perspective, too, since I nag him to no end! lol
  #130  
Old 12-13-2013, 10:39 AM
cheerfuldom's Avatar
cheerfuldom cheerfuldom is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 7,415
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
Well that sucks. A friend of mine suggested I do that. It's what she does with her kids. I can see how it's making it harder for my lg, though. I think it is best to start her full time next week. Just rip the band aide off! that's gonna be so hard.

Thank you all for your comments. I decided not to ask to stay. And today I dropped the "rescuer" mentality. I dropped her off and left. Usually I sit in the car for awhile to see if I can hear her cry. Sometimes I'll drive back by later on to see if I hear her cry. But I've stopped all that. I haven't gotten a text from the provider this afternoon again so I'm sure she's crying but I'm sitting at home. Blah. I started with one foot in the door but now realize that I was just creating more problems. If I'm going to find out if this works I have to back off. I hate that she's going through this but I realized that by rescuing her, hovering, worrying when I leave, that I'm not only creating anxiety in the provider (maybe) but I'm also not showing that much faith in my own daughter. I think my behavior is sending out signals that she's weak and can't cope, and maybe I thought that. She's little, but she's smart.

I love my provider and know she'll do everything she can do make my lg happy. That was never the question. I guess the real doubt was if my daughter could respond to her cues. I think at the heart of all my worry was that I had no faith in my own daughter.

Thanks again everyone!

Oh, here is the link to the article I read suggesting I stay to help her adjust:

http://www.ivillage.com/babies-deali...ion/6-n-137358

In the article is says, "The caregiver can observe your interactions with your child and you and the caregiver can begin building the strong partnership which will form the basis of quality, consistent care for your child."

Guess not!! haha
The "article" is essentially a blog post. There is no author named nor any research sited. I am not saying that all of it is wrong, just that it is not a reliable source. It is basically one mom in cyber world, if it is even written by a mom, that gives out some thoughts. Its about as reliable as Wikipedia, which is not reliable at all.

it is the same as you posting here for random people to chime in.....except here there are multiple people who have replied that have 10 or even 20 years experience in parenting and caring for other children.

I am glad you are giving things a shot and backing off. I would absolutely be nervous as a provider to know that mom was waiting outside to hear if baby was crying, driving by to see if she heard something....wow. I can't imagine that your provider did not notice that and I am very glad you stopped that behavior.

Hope it all works out!
  #131  
Old 12-13-2013, 12:07 PM
wonderfullisa's Avatar
wonderfullisa wonderfullisa is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: southeastern OH
Posts: 98
Default

As a fcc who often has a very full lap at naptime, this explains a lot of my reasoning. But don't get me wrong.. I love that my newest dcb can just be laid down in a pnp and will go to sleep. But my heart can't take the crying that probably happened to get him to that state.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...-crying-it-out
  #132  
Old 12-13-2013, 12:20 PM
Blackcat31's Avatar
Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 18,422
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisa's Little Lambs View Post
As a fcc who often has a very full lap at naptime, this explains a lot of my reasoning. But don't get me wrong.. I love that my newest dcb can just be laid down in a pnp and will go to sleep. But my heart can't take the crying that probably happened to get him to that state.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...-crying-it-out
I'm sorry but I don't buy what that article is saying one bit.

It is basically saying a baby should never cry.

Seriously?

It also states that a baby that cries excessively has an inexperienced, unsupportive or unknowledgeable caregiver.

I know plenty of babies that cried even though ALL their needs were met.

I don't think infants should be dropped into a crib and simply left to cry alone and scared. That isn't at all how CIO is suppose to be used/applied.

It is a method of lengthening the time in which a parent responds to the child so that the child can learn how to wait, figure out their own methods of self-soothing.

Self-soothing needs to be taught....and sometimes that means the baby WILL cry.
  #133  
Old 12-13-2013, 12:51 PM
CedarCreek's Avatar
CedarCreek CedarCreek is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,529
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisa's Little Lambs View Post
As a fcc who often has a very full lap at naptime, this explains a lot of my reasoning. But don't get me wrong.. I love that my newest dcb can just be laid down in a pnp and will go to sleep. But my heart can't take the crying that probably happened to get him to that state.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/...-crying-it-out
My youngest laid in his crib and went straight to sleep since day 1. We never did CIO with him.

Not that I'm against it.
  #134  
Old 12-13-2013, 01:07 PM
saved4always's Avatar
saved4always saved4always is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,011
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
Well that sucks. A friend of mine suggested I do that. It's what she does with her kids. I can see how it's making it harder for my lg, though. I think it is best to start her full time next week. Just rip the band aide off! that's gonna be so hard.

Thank you all for your comments. I decided not to ask to stay. And today I dropped the "rescuer" mentality. I dropped her off and left. Usually I sit in the car for awhile to see if I can hear her cry. Sometimes I'll drive back by later on to see if I hear her cry. But I've stopped all that. I haven't gotten a text from the provider this afternoon again so I'm sure she's crying but I'm sitting at home. Blah. I started with one foot in the door but now realize that I was just creating more problems. If I'm going to find out if this works I have to back off. I hate that she's going through this but I realized that by rescuing her, hovering, worrying when I leave, that I'm not only creating anxiety in the provider (maybe) but I'm also not showing that much faith in my own daughter. I think my behavior is sending out signals that she's weak and can't cope, and maybe I thought that. She's little, but she's smart.

I love my provider and know she'll do everything she can do make my lg happy. That was never the question. I guess the real doubt was if my daughter could respond to her cues. I think at the heart of all my worry was that I had no faith in my own daughter.

Thanks again everyone!

Oh, here is the link to the article I read suggesting I stay to help her adjust:

http://www.ivillage.com/babies-deali...ion/6-n-137358

In the article is says, "The caregiver can observe your interactions with your child and you and the caregiver can begin building the strong partnership which will form the basis of quality, consistent care for your child."

Guess not!! haha
It sounds like you are making a great start. It is hard leaving your baby and worrying about what is going on when you are not there. You would eventually drive yourself crazy with all that sitting in the drive and standing outside the door listening for crying. Ripping the band-aid off definitely hurts in the moment but I think your baby will adjust faster and you will feel more comfortable faster in just doing it. It sounds like you like and trust your provider. Give it some time and you and your little sweetie will both be more comfortable.
  #135  
Old 12-13-2013, 01:12 PM
saved4always's Avatar
saved4always saved4always is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Ohio
Posts: 1,011
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom View Post
The "article" is essentially a blog post. There is no author named nor any research sited. I am not saying that all of it is wrong, just that it is not a reliable source. It is basically one mom in cyber world, if it is even written by a mom, that gives out some thoughts. Its about as reliable as Wikipedia, which is not reliable at all.

it is the same as you posting here for random people to chime in.....except here there are multiple people who have replied that have 10 or even 20 years experience in parenting and caring for other children.

I am glad you are giving things a shot and backing off. I would absolutely be nervous as a provider to know that mom was waiting outside to hear if baby was crying, driving by to see if she heard something....wow. I can't imagine that your provider did not notice that and I am very glad you stopped that behavior.

Hope it all works out!
You definitely have to be careful about blogs. One of my son's friends is a new mom. Her baby is one year old and I think she is 21 years old. Maybe younger. She has her own blog. She writes everything with great authority from her vast personal experience with parenting. I am sure there are other moms out there taking her opinions as gospel since she has her own blog. It is the danger of this internet age that anyone can print their opinions as fact without research or experience to back it.
  #136  
Old 12-13-2013, 02:44 PM
AcornMama's Avatar
AcornMama AcornMama is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 285
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
It is basically saying a baby should never cry.

Seriously?

It also states that a baby that cries excessively has an inexperienced, unsupportive or unknowledgeable caregiver.

I know plenty of babies that cried even though ALL their needs were met.
I didn't read the article, I'm just responding to what Blackcat wrote, but seriously, if crying is so bad for babies, and due to inexperienced caregivers, then I guess no moms should stay home with their first babies. And I guess that explains why my oldest cried so much as a baby, way more than my other seven kids.

So, I guess all firstborns should be handed over to professionals? Because heaven forbid a new mom should have trouble "reading" her new baby. And it might actually cry.
  #137  
Old 12-13-2013, 03:31 PM
TwinKristi's Avatar
TwinKristi TwinKristi is offline
Family Childcare Provider
 
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,389
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by AcornMama View Post
I didn't read the article, I'm just responding to what Blackcat wrote, but seriously, if crying is so bad for babies, and due to inexperienced caregivers, then I guess no moms should stay home with their first babies. And I guess that explains why my oldest cried so much as a baby, way more than my other seven kids.

So, I guess all firstborns should be handed over to professionals? Because heaven forbid a new mom should have trouble "reading" her new baby. And it might actually cry.
Or first born twins! One had to cry from time to time because I was changing the other, making their bottles, changing the other's diaper, etc. Babies cry! It's normal. Not normal to cry for hours and hours on end and not have their needs met but having their needs met AND crying is hard to avoid with babies. They can't say "my gums/teeth hurt" - "I have gas in my belly" etc. how else are they supposed to communicate?
  #138  
Old 12-13-2013, 04:55 PM
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by saved4always View Post
Or "volunteering" .
Exactly^




As a parent, I'd find it VERY questionable if anyone offered to do it for free or very little money. Has anyone ever heard of PERVS before? because that's what you end up with when someone you don't know offers to do child care for FREE. Heck, even people you DO know can be that way. It's very rare that someone goes into this for free unless there are ulterior motives, with a VERY SMALL exception. Those of us who do it for the PENNIES we get have chosen this career bc we like kids of course, but also so we can stay with our OWN children. Something I think kids NEED more of anyway!

We can RAISE your kids for you (general you) but you don't want to pay hardly anything, complain when you don't like policies, don't like when we make your child become independent (self-dressing/feeding etc) and we don't AP your child. That we actually have to put Johnny down so we can feed Suzie. That they get dirty from playing. That they might have gotten treated to McD's for lunch or maybe that they get nutritious lunch and you want us to feed the kid Cheeto's (I actually had a mother feeding a 6 mo cheetos and chicken WITH bones and requested me to do the same. That lunch went into the trash and I fed a nutritious lunch, and when she hummed and hawed about it, I termed ON THE SPOT) You'll pay a lot more for your nails, hair and fancy clothes, but not your own CHILD? No wonder things like shootings and people going insane happen! Your kids know that your material things mean MORE to you than THEY do! And it's SO true.

I don't care about your "RIGHT" to do ANYTHING. Your right to buy nice things because you work. YOU CHOSE TO have a child, so PAY for that child, and that means paying for quality care for that child while you work. Seriously!

And for the moms that cry "WOE IS ME I'M SINGLE, I CAN'T PAY" : Everyone has a story. I ALSO have to pay for YOUR children along with mine so that YOU can work to pay your bills. I didn't create your child YOU got into that mess, not me. I am only trying to pick up the pieces for everyone else's mistakes and I am not doing it ANYMORE. Either I get paid a fair wage (which ANYONE wants) or I don't take the child. Simple. As. That
  #139  
Old 12-14-2013, 03:55 AM
Josiegirl's Avatar
Josiegirl Josiegirl is online now
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Right here
Posts: 10,066
Default

OP, I hope it works out for you! To me, it would be the most difficult thing in the world, handing my baby over to another person to care for. No matter how much I loved or trusted that person. And THAT was the #1 reason I started child care a million years ago.
  #140  
Old 12-14-2013, 02:53 PM
cheerfuldom's Avatar
cheerfuldom cheerfuldom is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 7,415
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Josiegirl View Post
OP, I hope it works out for you! To me, it would be the most difficult thing in the world, handing my baby over to another person to care for. No matter how much I loved or trusted that person. And THAT was the #1 reason I started child care a million years ago.
Yup. me too. I cried about two weeks before I was supposed to start work and thought "screw this, I am staying home!". It has been HARD work to do daycare, much harder than what I used to and was getting paid better to do but now my first baby is 6 years old and I know I made the right choice. This is no reflection on daycare providers because I actually had three providers lined up, all who I knew VERY well and trusted and I was not worried for my baby's care or transition, I just understood already how fast the time would fly and I didnt want to miss it.
  #141  
Old 12-14-2013, 03:13 PM
craftymissbeth's Avatar
craftymissbeth craftymissbeth is offline
Legally Unlicensed
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,367
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom View Post
Yup. me too. I cried about two weeks before I was supposed to start work and thought "screw this, I am staying home!". It has been HARD work to do daycare, much harder than what I used to and was getting paid better to do but now my first baby is 6 years old and I know I made the right choice. This is no reflection on daycare providers because I actually had three providers lined up, all who I knew VERY well and trusted and I was not worried for my baby's care or transition, I just understood already how fast the time would fly and I didnt want to miss it.
I broke down in tears the day dh and I went to check out the daycare we were putting ds in while I was in school. The teachers in his room thought I was bonkers lol


I do want to add that the tags some of you have put on this thread are straight out rude and I'm truly disappointed that this is how we thank parents for coming here with questions simply because we disagree with them. I hope that things like that don't keep other parents for becoming members here
  #142  
Old 12-14-2013, 03:52 PM
Babyluver2
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

What are tags?

Because I cannot log into my acc't I cannot see pics/links/siggies or anything so I could be missing them
  #143  
Old 12-14-2013, 04:42 PM
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Josiegirl View Post
OP, I hope it works out for you! To me, it would be the most difficult thing in the world, handing my baby over to another person to care for. No matter how much I loved or trusted that person. And THAT was the #1 reason I started child care a million years ago.
It has been really difficult. I'm still not sure I'll be able to do it but I have to try. I've cried every time I leave and I'm teary all the time since I'm taking her full time next week. Since I haven't started work I don't have anything to keep my mind off of her being gone.
  #144  
Old 12-14-2013, 04:49 PM
OP here
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by craftymissbeth View Post
I do want to add that the tags some of you have put on this thread are straight out rude and I'm truly disappointed that this is how we thank parents for coming here with questions simply because we disagree with them. I hope that things like that don't keep other parents for becoming members here
To each their own I guess. I've been on forums for years so I'm used to the wide range of responses one gets. I hope it doesn't discourage anyone. You got to just take what is helpful and there have been many very nice posters here that have been very helpful.
  #145  
Old 12-14-2013, 04:51 PM
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

It's always harder for mom/dad to leave baby than it is actually on the baby.
It's normal.
There does have to be a certain level of trust that your provider can meet the baby's needs, though, or the relationship won't work.
Baby needs time (like you) to bond with provider.
Mom you have to understand that you need time too. That's what's great about trial periods.
Babies cry. I have NEVER known a baby to die or have permanent damage emotionally, from crying when all their needs have been met. Sometimes, it takes time for babies to get used to their surroundings.

As they become more aware, they become a little bit more clingy. At 4 months, though, the baby doesn't really have a separation issue. It's an adjustment, but nowhere near a separation "anxiety" At this age, babies just need basic things met, and don't really care who does it.

The beauty about having an infant going through this transition NOW, is that it gets easier rather than waiting. And by the time you have another, you'll be a PRO!

Kiss baby at the door and drop n leave works best for both babies and providers and moms too.

Since you're not working, you might go get yourself a massage, try to relax, or find a friend for a cup of coffee/hot chocolate so you can talk your feelings through. Maybe another mom.

Then appreciate your provider. She's doing her best just like you are. And if you don't think so, switch. But remember, the more you bounce baby from place to place, the harder it will be for her AND you. Relationships, trust, bonding: it all takes time.

You can do it, if you trust your own instincts to provide for your baby. You just have to really dig deep sometimes. Give yourself and baby some time with this gal and if it works out, you'll be so happy. It TAKES A VILLAGE! No mom can do it alone.
  #146  
Old 12-14-2013, 04:51 PM
BABYLUVER2
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
It's always harder for mom/dad to leave baby than it is actually on the baby.
It's normal.
There does have to be a certain level of trust that your provider can meet the baby's needs, though, or the relationship won't work.
Baby needs time (like you) to bond with provider.
Mom you have to understand that you need time too. That's what's great about trial periods.
Babies cry. I have NEVER known a baby to die or have permanent damage emotionally, from crying when all their needs have been met. Sometimes, it takes time for babies to get used to their surroundings.

As they become more aware, they become a little bit more clingy. At 4 months, though, the baby doesn't really have a separation issue. It's an adjustment, but nowhere near a separation "anxiety" At this age, babies just need basic things met, and don't really care who does it.

The beauty about having an infant going through this transition NOW, is that it gets easier rather than waiting. And by the time you have another, you'll be a PRO!

Kiss baby at the door and drop n leave works best for both babies and providers and moms too.

Since you're not working, you might go get yourself a massage, try to relax, or find a friend for a cup of coffee/hot chocolate so you can talk your feelings through. Maybe another mom.

Then appreciate your provider. She's doing her best just like you are. And if you don't think so, switch. But remember, the more you bounce baby from place to place, the harder it will be for her AND you. Relationships, trust, bonding: it all takes time.

You can do it, if you trust your own instincts to provide for your baby. You just have to really dig deep sometimes. Give yourself and baby some time with this gal and if it works out, you'll be so happy. It TAKES A VILLAGE! No mom can do it alone.
Sorry the above post was mine. It didn't take my screenname. ~L
  #147  
Old 12-14-2013, 05:06 PM
OP here
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
find a friend for a cup of coffee/hot chocolate so you can talk your feelings through. Maybe another mom.

You can do it, if you trust your own instincts to provide for your baby. You just have to really dig deep sometimes. Give yourself and baby some time with this gal and if it works out, you'll be so happy. It TAKES A VILLAGE! No mom can do it alone.
I only have a couple of working mom's who are friends and they're at work! Plus they live kind of far. One of them acts like leaving her babies is no big deal but I know that's not true because her cubical is COVERED in pictures of her kids.

I come from a VERY religious background where mom stays home with the kids. I have a rather large family and all my sister's stay home with their kids. When I talk to them they always tell me I should stay home and I'll regret going back to work. I've pretty much stopped talking to them but that leaves me feeling lonely, too. And I know they're judging me. My social group was mostly religious people so when I hang around them they don't really know what to say when I tell them how hard this is. They can only relate by saying how they had to leave their kid for an hour in the church nursery. I appreciate that they try to relate but it's not even close to similar. Plus, I feel like a lot of them are judging me.
  #148  
Old 12-15-2013, 11:36 AM
cheerfuldom's Avatar
cheerfuldom cheerfuldom is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Posts: 7,415
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by OP here View Post
I only have a couple of working mom's who are friends and they're at work! Plus they live kind of far. One of them acts like leaving her babies is no big deal but I know that's not true because her cubical is COVERED in pictures of her kids.

I come from a VERY religious background where mom stays home with the kids. I have a rather large family and all my sister's stay home with their kids. When I talk to them they always tell me I should stay home and I'll regret going back to work. I've pretty much stopped talking to them but that leaves me feeling lonely, too. And I know they're judging me. My social group was mostly religious people so when I hang around them they don't really know what to say when I tell them how hard this is. They can only relate by saying how they had to leave their kid for an hour in the church nursery. I appreciate that they try to relate but it's not even close to similar. Plus, I feel like a lot of them are judging me.
I am sorry you are going thru that. Your church family should be people that make you feel better and support you, not people that judge or critique you. It sounds like you have a lot more going on right now than just the sitter issue. In my experience, a lot of times the moms that are having a really hard time with daycare are actually the moms that have some big personal issues going on, things they cannot control and so they fixate on something they might be able to control like the daycare situation. A couple of small issues in daycare magnify to huge overwhelming problems in their eyes because of the stress from other things going on in their lives, unrelated to daycare. Anyway, just be aware of that and try not to drop all this anxiety onto the sitter over things she has no part of. It sounds like you are transitioning to motherhood, getting a lot of pressure and judgement from other people in your circle, and lonely on top of that plus you mentioned having some crying issues with your baby so everything combined with possibly a high needs child is overwhelming. I really feel for you and hope that you find some resolution with all this. You cannot please everyone, don't even try, just do what is best for YOU and YOUR family. Find a church or circle of friends that better support you if need be.

On a personal note, both sides of our families have some very conservative, traditional, religious people and I understand the onslaught of pressure that brings. We left the church that my husband's parents started and that was no easy situation! But you have to go where you fit best and it was a great decision for us to change churches and strike up some new friendships with people that were more accepting of our two income household and other non-traditional factors in our lives.
  #149  
Old 12-15-2013, 12:29 PM
KidGrind's Avatar
KidGrind KidGrind is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: Red, White & Blue
Posts: 1,108
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
Whenever women talk about money, especially when it comes to the care of children, there is always the perception that there is some kind of emotional problem. That makes me LAUGH my arse off.

Just because we are talking about the WORK and BUSINESS of taking care of kids it does NOT mean we can't talk about MONEY every step of the way. It's OKAY to talk about MONEY. It's okay to associate the WORK and TIME of this business directly about MONEY. It's done in every single other child related business.

Every single piece of equipment, piece of clothing, bib, pacifier, bottle, sheet, crib, car seat.... every single good that is related to children there are legions of people who talk about MONEY as the product is developed, manufactured, shipped, and sold.

There's nobody at Graco telling them that they shouldn't discuss MONEY because the products they sell are for the BAYYYYBEEES. If Eddie Bauer didn't have MONEY discussions they wouldn't be able to sell car seats.

Why can't we? Why are we the ONE group who can't put MONEY into the conversation as THE topic that must be dealt with FIRST before anything else works? Every other business does that serves kids.

Oh I know... it's because we are a bunch of WOMEN and we should love first then take whatever scraps of money that is sent our way to feed, clothe, and house OUR kids.

I'm not burnt out. I make a GREAT living. I don't allow emotional words like "burnt out" and "it's not about the money" phase me. Just like I said before... we have heard it ALL before. You have the SAME words. You have the SAME inflection. You have the SAME message. You haven't come up with a single phrase or idea that hasn't been jammed down our throats our entire career. We've heard it all and it is just that... WORDS.

When you want to actually TALK money then we can explain money. If you want us to do it for love... well you have to find somebody who is selling something else. I have the pleasure to make money and love. I know better than to get into something where I don't make money to cause me not to love my work. I get paid a fair wage in all my endeavors. My clients are business folks too... they get money. They may not understand day care money when they come to me but they do by the third interview. They want me to be prosperous. They want me to be happy. I'm happy being prosperous even though I'm a mere girl.
If I weren’t sitting at my desk I’d be giving this a standing ovation.
  #150  
Old 12-15-2013, 06:05 PM
OP here
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
It's not offensive. It's just a bunch of work that most likely won't work out to make the provider money over time.

Your request isn't unusual. Your perception of your baby is VERY VERY common. Your solutions are common.

This aint our first time to this rodeo. I wish newbie parents could understand that what they come up with and attribute to their child we have seen a ZILLION times. It's not unique. It's not special. It's not child specific.

We have had the same words you use come to our ears. We have had the same facial expressions you use to convey your worry. We have had many many requests to do the parent in order to have the money to do the kid.

Your face looks the same.
Your voice inflection is the same.
Your analysis is the same.
Your child is the same.

It's not new. Nothing you have said hasn't come knocking at our door.

It's WORK. The question you should be asking is if this amount of WORK for the provider is worth the money you are paying her. You should ask what kind of compensation should you be offering to her that is above the child care rate to compensate her for doing you and your kid at this level.

It's not about you or what you think your kid needs. It's about WORK and time. Work and time that will most likely end the way it ended with your previous providers.

No offense to you OP though. Please don't take me wrong. I'm all for picking the kind of parenting you want for your kid. She's your kid so do as you wish. I've been at this long enough to know there are a zillion right ways to raise a kid. My only interest is how does that work in group care and what cost to the provider to fetter through no cry parenting to find the ones who will stay. Your chances of staying are so slim. Your perception is dangerous to a providers long term success. It just is what it is. You could really damage someone's future with your perceptions if you decided to spread the word.

I'm not in any way saying you shouldn't go after what you think you deserve monetarily. You can negotiate a good salary and also keep your humanity. Male or female, when you work with kids one expects a higher level of humanity than what has been expressed above. You can get the price you want and also value the experience of the one who is paying you. The two do not need to be exclusive, in any profession. When you start to get burnt out you stop valuing the experience of the one you are selling to, as it seems you have expressed above, and it becomes just about money. If you were a used car salesman no one would be that concerned. When you work with kids it becomes alarming.
  #151  
Old 12-15-2013, 06:18 PM
Babyluver2
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by OP here View Post
I only have a couple of working mom's who are friends and they're at work! Plus they live kind of far. One of them acts like leaving her babies is no big deal but I know that's not true because her cubical is COVERED in pictures of her kids.

I come from a VERY religious background where mom stays home with the kids. I have a rather large family and all my sister's stay home with their kids. When I talk to them they always tell me I should stay home and I'll regret going back to work. I've pretty much stopped talking to them but that leaves me feeling lonely, too. And I know they're judging me. My social group was mostly religious people so when I hang around them they don't really know what to say when I tell them how hard this is. They can only relate by saying how they had to leave their kid for an hour in the church nursery. I appreciate that they try to relate but it's not even close to similar. Plus, I feel like a lot of them are judging me.
What you need is another WORKING mom. not any family. Besides, what do they know? They do not pay your bills, right? So they can judge all they want, however, until the skeletons in their closets are buried, they should really say nothing about how you take care of your life. You have to do what you have to do and that sounds like working. Therefore, you can only take care of yourself and not allow anyone else tell you how to do so. I know that's very difficult at times (I have a crazy family and I have been belittled, picked on, spit at, you name it) and if you're feeling alone, you may simply not feel like trying to talk to anyone (after all---wouldn't they judge you too? (in your mind), right?) But there ARE lots of working moms out there who have been where you are. When you get to know a few of them, it will help you to talk it out, but it will take time.

We've all been there. I started out as a working mom too. My first child I took 12 weeks off and had to leave her with a stranger I didn't know. The lady was great but very unreliable. So we dropped her with a friend, whose husband became a weirdo toward me. So we pulled her out and finally, after much research, we found a wonderful provider. I then got pregnant with my son, and she'd stopped taking infants under 2, so to start looking again was horrible! I met a wonderful lady, and kept my son there until I decided to become a provider myself. I still use the provider (former) on a drop-in basis. She NEVER made me feel bad about having to work, but my kids went through an adjustment period. BUT they're all better for all of their experiences. Meanwhile, my drop-in provider went through some illness, so because my kids were now over 2, we called our other provider for drop-in care, except that she'd died so we ended up just not ever taking my kids ANYWHERE. I'd do the daycare all day, and then have to do all my errands with my own children without any reprieve at all. Until our drop-in provider got well, that is. I learned it was OK to need and want help. I had NO family help me, as I was disowned (long story, stupid story) No one. I had the MOST unreliable friends one could have. But this lady stuck it out with me. Then about 2 years ago, I decided to go to work and found out a friend of mine did full-time care (my current DI provider does no transportation) so I hired her to take my kids on.

Without time and trust, we would NOT have her as part of our family like she is now.

I probably just babbled, but want you to know that I've been a working mom to a daycare mom to a working mom again.

It's never gonna be easy.
  #152  
Old 12-16-2013, 07:26 AM
Blackcat31's Avatar
Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 18,422
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Babyluver2 View Post
What are tags?

Because I cannot log into my acc't I cannot see pics/links/siggies or anything so I could be missing them
I sent you an e-mail with your user name and password so you could log in.

If you still have trouble, let me know.
  #153  
Old 12-16-2013, 11:55 AM
My3cents's Avatar
My3cents My3cents is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 2,842
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
I feel like this is definitely an underlying issue at the heart of complicating my request. I've lurked around the forums for awhile and have noticed that this is a big issue between providers and parents. Providers are often insulted at the lack of trust parents give and aggravated at the over-bearing that follows due to this lack of trust. I suppose in a way I can understand but mostly I don't understand, particularly when the child is new. I know my asking to stay after the provider has had her a couple of times could be interpreted like a demotion in a way, but that is not what it is at all! It has nothing to do with whether I trust her or not. I want to make this transition as easy for my lg as possible and abruptly leaving her alone with a total stranger for long periods of time seems like it would be much more difficult for her then if I were there for awhile to acclimate her to the new environment. I also think it would help my lg to see me interact with the provider. This seems to me a difference of philosophy, not one of trust. But I think inevitably it would feel like a slight.
It would be confusing to your child of who is in charge, and would interfere with the bonding of the provider and child. Things are not the same at daycare as they are at home. If you want that kind of care, your best to find a nanny-

You sound like you did your homework, you looked for a good provider, checked references from other parents that have been in your providers care or personal references if this care provider is just starting out. Now you have to trust that you made a good choice for your little one and give it time to work out. No provider wants a Mom to hang out for hours and for several reasons. Your instinct will direct you. You may be the type of Mom that just can't be away from her kid and that is ok. Daycare is not for you. Has nothing to do with the child, its more your issues. I will say home and daycare are two different things. No one will replace you as the Mom, no one will do things exactly the same as you do, smell the same way you do, have the same mannerisms etc....

If I could not communicate with the provider, I wouldn't leave my child there. Yes I would love the fact that the child could be bilingual but I would want the provider to be able to communicate with me well enough for me to understand first.

Everyone's needs are different. Having been in this business for a very long time I see that your best interest would be hiring a nanny or mothers helper, for the type of services that you would like. I also picture you as a first time Mom with a big learning curve ahead of you. I also see that your are a caring, loving concerned Mom. I wish you the best-

one more thing, the best way to drop a child off is to do it fast, not only for you but for the child. Give your child a kiss, I love you, I will see you soon. You will be helping the child in the long run to be well adjusted and know that they are ok when you can't be together. It stinks as a parent to do this, you don't want to hear your little angel cry. For some kids they cry everyday, every morning. Key is that they don't cry all day. They are happy for most of the day. Having a provider that would tell you if your child was crying all day everyday is important. Most providers would tell you this, they don't want a child in their care that is miserable all day long or could have a possible underlying illness. Your child will cry through out the day, that is normal. Crying is a good thing believe it or not- it strengthens the vocal muscles and other muscles that aid with talking later down the line. Crying out of pain is not or need is not ok. You really have to give a provider a good chance and be ok within yourself to leave your precious with someone other then you. If you can't do that, if you can't do that- it is ok!
  #154  
Old 12-16-2013, 12:04 PM
My3cents's Avatar
My3cents My3cents is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 2,842
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
I wouldn't be able to provide services for your infant. I would be scared off because of your perception of her crying and your attribution as to why. The words you attach to it are subjective but, as you have learned in the few months you have been a parent, your perception becomes fact whether it is really true or not. Your perception leads you to believe she is one extreme to another... hysterical when with or been with others and perfectly calm and content with mama.

The stories you already have in your brief experience with child care are enough to ruin a provider if retold in an online review or recounted to the DHS via you or any person who hears your story and decides the provider needs DHS involvement.

I wouldn't touch this gig. I wouldn't allow a four hour interview for as many days as you deem necessary. Your hanging out to transition the baby is really you interviewing the provider. You call it transition but the provider will think it is you interviewing and you (the newbie parent) assessing the providers ability to do no cry care.

I keep thinking how in the heck did my granny who had eleven kids over twenty years produce such great and healthy kids. She not only had kid after kid but she worked a farm and supported them with her hands and back. She didn't spend a minute worrying about brain damage because of crying. Her worries were enough food to go around, laundry, money for a car, and clothing her brood. She had it way easier than you though. You spend your worry on one kids crying. She had tangible worry of basic survival.
I just wanted to say I have read up until here on responses and Nan is right on as is the other advice you have been given~ We are loving childcare providers here on this forum, it does nothing for me to direct you or anyone else here in the wrong direction with caring advice to you even if it is very hard to hear- Many of us have been where you are and that is how we ended up becoming providers- That is not why I became a provider but I have had to leave my darling love with another provider and it killed me to do so and I knew her. You really need to give it time and let routine settle in for both you and your child. Bandino I think hit a good point that if your happy its going to flood over to your child and your child will pick that up, but if your anxious and unsettled they will sense that right out- I wish you the best
  #155  
Old 12-16-2013, 12:13 PM
My3cents's Avatar
My3cents My3cents is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 2,842
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
Buyer beware that this child care provider WILL take other children and most likely very soon. There's not enough money in one baby. This parent needs to realize that there will come a day very soon when the provider gets the next baby who needs four hour parental interviews and "teaching" for THAT baby to not cry. This baby will have to endure the provider doing another acclimation transition with a complete stranger parent hanging around for hours over days and the focus of the provider will shift from her no cry training to another babies no cry training so the provider can have money.

There's value in the newbie provider having this experience right out of the gate. For some providers there may be value to this but I think most by far would see it as a ridiculous amount of one to one parent care in a group setting. The newbie provider needs to work out what she will do when subjected to these kinds of requests as they will come often. The parent who is concerned about crying brain damage is becoming the majority. How they deal with "transition" to stave off the brain damage will be different with each parent. One thing for certain... the solution will ALWAYS be more. More one to one... more parent... more time. It won't translate into the provider having a smooth easy time as she gets to know the kid.

The provider also needs the experience of divesting a TON of prestart time and "transition" time and end up loosing the kid anyway because the one to one no cry care can't really be done in a group and the provider dissatisfaction for working SO hard for so little will rear it's head soon. Providers who consider doing this kind of upfront investment need to set basic pay rates to reflect the high probability that they will only have the child a short time after the parent interviewing and transitioning stops. They need to require a substantial upfront amount of money that will pay for the slot for the duration of how long it takes to fill a slot. They need at least a full MONTH of salary from the point where the "transition" time stops forward. That way they have some security of income to cover till the next no cry baby comes along. If she does it for free... meaning only getting care money for this level of parent time she will learn VERY quickly she did a ton of work for a few dollars an hour. That will sting.

More than half of my consulting work now is working with providers trying to manage attachment parents with no cry babies (no cry in fear of brain damage) , toddlers, and the preschooler who has been raised in it in their setting. I never in a million years thought I would have income coming in as a direct result of no cry parenting. Never thought I would make a dime off of it... but alas it is quite the money maker.
I want the book Nan...... get busy, its your time,write that book and get it on the best sellers list. I really like how you turned this around to be a help to us providers as well as the OP.
  #156  
Old 12-16-2013, 12:15 PM
My3cents's Avatar
My3cents My3cents is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 2,842
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
As has your perception of my situation now become your truth.

I never said I felt she was being neglected and I don't feel that way at all. It's not about trusting the provider, as I mentioned earlier. It's a difference in philosophies on how to acclimate one's child to a new environment. In an article I read it said staying with the child would be beneficial. Sensing that this might be offensive to some sensitive providers I came here looking for opinions on how that request might come across.
what article was this? Curious as to who would suggest this.
  #157  
Old 12-16-2013, 12:23 PM
My3cents's Avatar
My3cents My3cents is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 2,842
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
Thank you! It has been insanely hard. I think since she was so colicky when she was little I developed a really strong bond with her.

It seems there are a few providers here that say they'd be OK with my staying. And then a couple who seem to be freaking out. So I guess there's a wide range. I think since my provider is new she might not freak out; doesn't have all the buildup from years of dealing with difficult parents. But I can see how it would come off as a slight and I don't want to diminish her confidence with my LO. And as you pointed out, there is the element of my "rescuer" mentality that might create too much anxiety while I'm there which wouldn't help anything. Eh! I need to let her know by today whether LO is coming tomorrow or not. Argh! There's so much to consider.
I think most providers are telling you it is not ok to stay-

If your provider is new, she might just not know you don't let a parent stay all day for that long, or needs the money so will do anything you want to keep you. What is the point of you needing care if your there that long? A big thing that would help is to have her in full time care verses part time care so that she can adjust better. Part time leaves no room for routine or a mixed schedule. kids thrive on routine. Best-

Last edited by My3cents; 12-16-2013 at 12:24 PM. Reason: added more
  #158  
Old 12-17-2013, 07:21 AM
sleepinghart's Avatar
sleepinghart sleepinghart is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 342
Question

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
Well that sucks. A friend of mine suggested I do that. It's what she does with her kids. I can see how it's making it harder for my lg, though. I think it is best to start her full time next week. Just rip the band aide off! that's gonna be so hard.

Thank you all for your comments. I decided not to ask to stay. And today I dropped the "rescuer" mentality. I dropped her off and left. Usually I sit in the car for awhile to see if I can hear her cry. Sometimes I'll drive back by later on to see if I hear her cry. But I've stopped all that. I haven't gotten a text from the provider this afternoon again so I'm sure she's crying but I'm sitting at home. Blah. I started with one foot in the door but now realize that I was just creating more problems. If I'm going to find out if this works I have to back off. I hate that she's going through this but I realized that by rescuing her, hovering, worrying when I leave, that I'm not only creating anxiety in the provider (maybe) but I'm also not showing that much faith in my own daughter. I think my behavior is sending out signals that she's weak and can't cope, and maybe I thought that. She's little, but she's smart.

I love my provider and know she'll do everything she can do make my lg happy. That was never the question. I guess the real doubt was if my daughter could respond to her cues. I think at the heart of all my worry was that I had no faith in my own daughter.

Thanks again everyone!

Oh, here is the link to the article I read suggesting I stay to help her adjust:

http://www.ivillage.com/babies-deali...ion/6-n-137358

In the article is says, "The caregiver can observe your interactions with your child and you and the caregiver can begin building the strong partnership which will form the basis of quality, consistent care for your child."

Guess not!! haha

(Bolded By Me)
~Who wrote the article or answered that specific question? Does anyone know? It's always important for me to consider the source, that's why I ask. The page is not showing up very legibly for me, so the only thing I found when searching for this answer was:

"Got a question? We've got answers! Doctors, community members, and in-the-know moms weigh in on all the questions you've been dying to ask."

~Which Was Respectfully Snipped From:
http://www.ivillage.com/get-answers-...ting-pregnancy


~ETA~
~..Sorry! I think Cheerfuldom may have already answered my question! Thank you Cheerfuldom & any others who have already supplied my answer. I didn't read all the posts before inquiring. I apologize again!
  #159  
Old 12-17-2013, 07:36 AM
sleepinghart's Avatar
sleepinghart sleepinghart is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 342
Smile

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
I'm sorry but I don't buy what that article is saying one bit.

It is basically saying a baby should never cry.

Seriously?

It also states that a baby that cries excessively has an inexperienced, unsupportive or unknowledgeable caregiver.

I know plenty of babies that cried even though ALL their needs were met.

I don't think infants should be dropped into a crib and simply left to cry alone and scared. That isn't at all how CIO is suppose to be used/applied.

It is a method of lengthening the time in which a parent responds to the child so that the child can learn how to wait, figure out their own methods of self-soothing.

Self-soothing needs to be taught....and sometimes that means the baby WILL cry.
(BBM)
~I T-totally agree........And besides, isn't the link in question just another blog anyway...MD or not- still just another blog?
  #160  
Old 12-17-2013, 08:12 AM
sleepinghart's Avatar
sleepinghart sleepinghart is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 342
Smile

Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
Buyer beware that this child care provider WILL take other children and most likely very soon. There's not enough money in one baby. This parent needs to realize that there will come a day very soon when the provider gets the next baby who needs four hour parental interviews and "teaching" for THAT baby to not cry. This baby will have to endure the provider doing another acclimation transition with a complete stranger parent hanging around for hours over days and the focus of the provider will shift from her no cry training to another babies no cry training so the provider can have money.

There's value in the newbie provider having this experience right out of the gate. For some providers there may be value to this but I think most by far would see it as a ridiculous amount of one to one parent care in a group setting. The newbie provider needs to work out what she will do when subjected to these kinds of requests as they will come often. The parent who is concerned about crying brain damage is becoming the majority. How they deal with "transition" to stave off the brain damage will be different with each parent. One thing for certain... the solution will ALWAYS be more. More one to one... more parent... more time. It won't translate into the provider having a smooth easy time as she gets to know the kid.

The provider also needs the experience of divesting a TON of prestart time and "transition" time and end up loosing the kid anyway because the one to one no cry care can't really be done in a group and the provider dissatisfaction for working SO hard for so little will rear it's head soon. Providers who consider doing this kind of upfront investment need to set basic pay rates to reflect the high probability that they will only have the child a short time after the parent interviewing and transitioning stops. They need to require a substantial upfront amount of money that will pay for the slot for the duration of how long it takes to fill a slot. They need at least a full MONTH of salary from the point where the "transition" time stops forward. That way they have some security of income to cover till the next no cry baby comes along. If she does it for free... meaning only getting care money for this level of parent time she will learn VERY quickly she did a ton of work for a few dollars an hour. That will sting.

More than half of my consulting work now is working with providers trying to manage attachment parents with no cry babies (no cry in fear of brain damage) , toddlers, and the preschooler who has been raised in it in their setting. I never in a million years thought I would have income coming in as a direct result of no cry parenting. Never thought I would make a dime off of it... but alas it is quite the money maker.

~Nannyde Rocks!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
It's not offensive. It's just a bunch of work that most likely won't work out to make the provider money over time.

Your request isn't unusual. Your perception of your baby is VERY VERY common. Your solutions are common.

This aint our first time to this rodeo. I wish newbie parents could understand that what they come up with and attribute to their child we have seen a ZILLION times. It's not unique. It's not special. It's not child specific.

We have had the same words you use come to our ears. We have had the same facial expressions you use to convey your worry. We have had many many requests to do the parent in order to have the money to do the kid.

Your face looks the same.
Your voice inflection is the same.
Your analysis is the same.
Your child is the same.

It's not new. Nothing you have said hasn't come knocking at our door.

It's WORK. The question you should be asking is if this amount of WORK for the provider is worth the money you are paying her. You should ask what kind of compensation should you be offering to her that is above the child care rate to compensate her for doing you and your kid at this level.

It's not about you or what you think your kid needs. It's about WORK and time. Work and time that will most likely end the way it ended with your previous providers.

No offense to you OP though. Please don't take me wrong. I'm all for picking the kind of parenting you want for your kid. She's your kid so do as you wish. I've been at this long enough to know there are a zillion right ways to raise a kid. My only interest is how does that work in group care and what cost to the provider to fetter through no cry parenting to find the ones who will stay. Your chances of staying are so slim. Your perception is dangerous to a providers long term success. It just is what it is. You could really damage someone's future with your perceptions if you decided to spread the word.
~ Nannyde 2016 !!
  #161  
Old 12-17-2013, 08:26 AM
sleepinghart's Avatar
sleepinghart sleepinghart is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 342
Smile

Quote:
Originally Posted by My3cents View Post
I think most providers are telling you it is not ok to stay-

If your provider is new, she might just not know you don't let a parent stay all day for that long, or needs the money so will do anything you want to keep you. What is the point of you needing care if your there that long? A big thing that would help is to have her in full time care verses part time care so that she can adjust better. Part time leaves no room for routine or a mixed schedule. kids thrive on routine. Best-

(BBM)
~I don't have time or patience for a thorough count right now of course so this could be completely wrong, but last time I checked/glossed over the numbers it was like 25-30 providers against it with like 4-5 providers for it either totally completely OP's way/or at least okay with it for only an hour or for one day only, etc. ..Someone correct me if I'm wrong, Idk.
  #162  
Old 12-17-2013, 10:43 AM
OP here
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

So I put a voice recorder in my little one's diaper bag. What I heard was heart breaking. My little one scream for an hour. She was quiet for a few minutes and than started screaming again. The provider did NOTHING to quiet her. NOTHING. She scream to the point of choking. Her voice started shaking. The recording goes off and on like this the whole time she was there. I'm so incredibly angry. The provider never mentioned anything. Said she was doing great.

Anyway, I'm done with daycare. Thank you all for you comments. There's no way I could ever leave her again.
  #163  
Old 12-17-2013, 10:47 AM
JoseyJo's Avatar
JoseyJo JoseyJo is offline
Group DCP in Kansas
 
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Kansas
Posts: 941
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by OP here View Post
So I put a voice recorder in my little one's diaper bag. What I heard was heart breaking. My little one scream for an hour. She was quiet for a few minutes and than started screaming again. The provider did NOTHING to quiet her. NOTHING. She scream to the point of choking. Her voice started shaking. The recording goes off and on like this the whole time she was there. I'm so incredibly angry. The provider never mentioned anything. Said she was doing great.

Anyway, I'm done with daycare. Thank you all for you comments. There's no way I could ever leave her again.
Hmmm. I am thinking Troll maybe...
  #164  
Old 12-17-2013, 10:48 AM
daycarediva's Avatar
daycarediva daycarediva is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 11,371
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by OP here View Post
So I put a voice recorder in my little one's diaper bag. What I heard was heart breaking. My little one scream for an hour. She was quiet for a few minutes and than started screaming again. The provider did NOTHING to quiet her. NOTHING. She scream to the point of choking. Her voice started shaking. The recording goes off and on like this the whole time she was there. I'm so incredibly angry. The provider never mentioned anything. Said she was doing great.

Anyway, I'm done with daycare. Thank you all for you comments. There's no way I could ever leave her again.
You recorded your provider, in her home, without her knowledge?

This is JUST voice. NOT video. How do you know your provider did nothing? She could have comforted her, held her, rocked her, all while caring for other children.

I'm starting to think op is a troll.
  #165  
Old 12-17-2013, 10:50 AM
Blackcat31's Avatar
Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 18,422
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by OP here View Post
So I put a voice recorder in my little one's diaper bag. What I heard was heart breaking. My little one scream for an hour. She was quiet for a few minutes and than started screaming again. The provider did NOTHING to quiet her. NOTHING. She scream to the point of choking. Her voice started shaking. The recording goes off and on like this the whole time she was there. I'm so incredibly angry. The provider never mentioned anything. Said she was doing great.

Anyway, I'm done with daycare. Thank you all for you comments. There's no way I could ever leave her again.
That was NOT cool!

I'd term you on the spot if you pulled something like that!!

You NEED to be able to trust your provider. If you don't, find another one but secretly recording her is totally over stepping boundaries.

Honestly, I don't think you are going to be happy anywhere. Your expectations do match reality and I think you should find other arrangements.

Family child care is not for you.
  #166  
Old 12-17-2013, 11:21 AM
My3cents's Avatar
My3cents My3cents is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 2,842
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by OP here View Post
So I put a voice recorder in my little one's diaper bag. What I heard was heart breaking. My little one scream for an hour. She was quiet for a few minutes and than started screaming again. The provider did NOTHING to quiet her. NOTHING. She scream to the point of choking. Her voice started shaking. The recording goes off and on like this the whole time she was there. I'm so incredibly angry. The provider never mentioned anything. Said she was doing great.

Anyway, I'm done with daycare. Thank you all for you comments. There's no way I could ever leave her again.
Troll!

Don't waste other peoples time please. I have very little of it, most days. I was hoping that I was helping a new mom out. There are moms out there that have an honest hard time of leaving their child, but if you have to go to that lengths as to be sneaky on your provider that is not ok- Nan called it, your a liability on the providers end of it and I would term you on spot!

Now be off~ I recommend psyche counseling for you and your issues-
not cool-
  #167  
Old 12-17-2013, 11:26 AM
craftymissbeth's Avatar
craftymissbeth craftymissbeth is offline
Legally Unlicensed
 
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,367
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by OP here View Post
So I put a voice recorder in my little one's diaper bag. What I heard was heart breaking. My little one scream for an hour. She was quiet for a few minutes and than started screaming again. The provider did NOTHING to quiet her. NOTHING. She scream to the point of choking. Her voice started shaking. The recording goes off and on like this the whole time she was there. I'm so incredibly angry. The provider never mentioned anything. Said she was doing great.

Anyway, I'm done with daycare. Thank you all for you comments. There's no way I could ever leave her again.
Oh man you were doing so well there trolling us along and then BAM! out of nowhere comes crazyville.

Disregard my comment about the tags on this thread being inappropriate
  #168  
Old 12-17-2013, 11:32 AM
nannyde's Avatar
nannyde nannyde is offline
All powerful, all knowing daycare whisperer
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Des Moines
Posts: 7,292
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by OP here View Post
So I put a voice recorder in my little one's diaper bag. What I heard was heart breaking. My little one scream for an hour. She was quiet for a few minutes and than started screaming again. The provider did NOTHING to quiet her. NOTHING. She scream to the point of choking. Her voice started shaking. The recording goes off and on like this the whole time she was there. I'm so incredibly angry. The provider never mentioned anything. Said she was doing great.

Anyway, I'm done with daycare. Thank you all for you comments. There's no way I could ever leave her again.
Take her to the ER and have them check her for brain damage. Do it for us. We are dying to know if crying really does cause brain damage!

Keep us posted.
  #169  
Old 12-17-2013, 11:34 AM
sleepinghart's Avatar
sleepinghart sleepinghart is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 342
Talking

Quote:
Originally Posted by OP here View Post
So I put a voice recorder in my little one's diaper bag. What I heard was heart breaking. My little one scream for an hour. She was quiet for a few minutes and than started screaming again. The provider did NOTHING to quiet her. NOTHING. She scream to the point of choking. Her voice started shaking. The recording goes off and on like this the whole time she was there. I'm so incredibly angry. The provider never mentioned anything. Said she was doing great.

Anyway, I'm done with daycare. Thank you all for you comments. There's no way I could ever leave her again.


~Yes, you're either a troll(..had that figured out after you called the most helpful Blandino's comments to you "broken record" & the fact you said you've read a lot here and been a lurker)or someone who already had their mind made up when they came here from the get-go and thought they could get what they wanted which was validation & sympathy and validation & symapathy only(..had that figured out by first post paragraph 1 & all the manipulation, fact-changing & mind games), and when they didn't get it started to get a lil hostile by saying RIDICULOUS things. I had that figured out by--

(Op quote)"I decided not to ask to stay. And today I dropped the "rescuer" mentality. I dropped her off and left. Usually I sit in the car for awhile to see if I can hear her cry. Sometimes I'll drive back by later on to see if I hear her cry. But I've stopped all that. I haven't gotten a text from the provider this afternoon again so I'm sure she's crying but I'm sitting at home. Blah. I started with one foot in the door but now realize that I was just creating more problems. If I'm going to find out if this works I have to back off. I hate that she's going through this but I realized that by rescuing her, hovering, worrying when I leave, that I'm not only creating anxiety in the provider (maybe) but I'm also not showing that much faith in my own daughter. I think my behavior is sending out signals that she's weak and can't cope, and maybe I thought that. She's little, but she's smart.

I love my provider and know she'll do everything she can do make my lg happy. That was never the question. I guess the real doubt was if my daughter could respond to her cues. I think at the heart of all my worry was that I had no faith in my own daughter[/i]"

~Wow, It's a MIRACLE! You've been cured overnight! NOT! I say you were being facetious and sarcastic. Oooh! ..And BS to boot!

"Ya, that thought never crossed my mind. I was pretty sure the provider needed to be a carbon copy of me!! haha. I'm sure my OH is going to appreciate my new-found perspective, too, since I nag him to no end! lol" (end quotes)


~Brand new day, same old crap. As Nan said we've seen it all before. Now run along. No hard feelings, I'm just glad I don't have to put up with your problems and being you.
  #170  
Old 12-17-2013, 11:41 AM
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

Go away, I didn't for a second believed your storie...
  #171  
Old 12-17-2013, 11:47 AM
Unregistered
Guest
 
Posts: n/a
Default

I think here it is illegal to record without consent in someone else's home. If I found the recorder in the bag, I would have you charged. If you want to record a nanny in your own home I believe that is considered ok. If you felt the need to record, there was no trust and you should have just pulled your child from care.
  #172  
Old 12-17-2013, 11:51 AM
BrooklynM's Avatar
BrooklynM BrooklynM is offline
Provider
 
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: California
Posts: 517
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
You sound burnt out I wouldn't work in childcare because it seems really difficult. I quit working in sales because I couldn't stand the people! I understand how exhausting it is and I'm only sorry that people have to worry so much about money that they subject themselves to unwanted situations. I don't mean to gloat but I am so very fortunate in that I do what I love and I don't give a thought to the money. I don't have to work. I only wish I could find a daycare provider who was of that state of mind. My current provider also seems to be in dire need of money which is unfortunate. Yes I know what you're thinking, if they didn't have to worry about money they wouldn't put up with parents like me! I know, I know. I'm sorry your experience has been so unpleasant. But there have been some very nice responses on here from seasoned providers so I have to believe there are still those who love their job and don't necessarily do it just for the money.
I don't think it is a question of burnout, it is setting our personal boundaries so we can continue to love what we do. If I won the lotto tomorrow, I would still have my daycare. Honestly, even if I won 100 million dollars. Now, I would get an assistant so I could go get my nails done once a week and I would hire a housekeeper, but I LOVE what I do. I love the babies I care for and I feel blessed every single day for what I get to do.

However, you have to look at things from our perspective as we need to look at things from your perspective. Sometimes babies cry. It is totally normal. We work to make sure that the baby is dry, fed and loved. Sometimes babies get frustrated and they don't even know why. Change of environment, mood, etc can affect a babies mood. First of all, you need to go with your gut on this provider. Is she the right provider for you? What does your gut tell you?Maybe that it is at the heart of this. Secondly, I agree with the others saying that a Nanny situation may work best for you. My parents love my small atmosphere but the fact that their babies have friends and interacation from other babies. They learn so much from modeling the older children's behavior.

What is most important to you? Prioritize and you will get your answers. My priorities for my own children were to raise them up to be contributors to society in anyway that they choose. Infancy is so short, but your baby is probably getting ready to need some structure, so whether at daycare or at home, it is important to establish some routines so that they know how to behave, they know what is coming next, etc. Start tracking when your baby is sleeping and see if you can set a schedule off of what she is currently doing. Kids love and thrive off of routine. Also, in most states, we are not allowed to have babies sleep in swings, so at home it is important not allow your baby to sleep in the swing. They should only spend a few min in the swing at a time. It can be a great tool for when you need to go to the bathroom or maybe you are making dinner, etc, but she should learn to sleep in a crib.

Establishing routines now is so much easier than trying to break bad habits later!
  #173  
Old 12-17-2013, 12:06 PM
Angelsj's Avatar
Angelsj Angelsj is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 1,323
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by My3cents View Post
Troll!

Don't waste other peoples time please. I have very little of it, most days. I was hoping that I was helping a new mom out. There are moms out there that have an honest hard time of leaving their child, but if you have to go to that lengths as to be sneaky on your provider that is not ok- Nan called it, your a liability on the providers end of it and I would term you on spot!

Now be off~ I recommend psyche counseling for you and your issues-
not cool-
I would just like to point out, I called this one early on...lol
  #174  
Old 12-17-2013, 12:08 PM
Heidi's Avatar
Heidi Heidi is offline
Advanced Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 6,857
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by nannyde View Post
Take her to the ER and have them check her for brain damage. Do it for us. We are dying to know if crying really does cause brain damage!

Keep us posted.
The baby...or the "mom"???



I'd also like to point out that if crying causes brain damage I'd have a IQ of 7 by now.
  #175  
Old 12-17-2013, 12:16 PM
Blackcat31's Avatar
Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 18,422
Default

There really is no way to prove or disprove this poster is or isn't a troll.

The IP addresses match for ALL unregistered posts that the OP posted.

The IP address is from a southern state.

Personally I think this is just another severe helicopter mom that had NO CLUE what she was doing by enrolling her child in daycare.

I think she failed to do her research, she failed to address her fears and concerns with her provider(s) and she ultimately failed at trying to justify this situation by recording her provider.....without the providers knowledge.

To me this simply reeks of parent that does MORE harm than good when trying to control the situation and the outcome.

If this is truly not a troll, then my only suggestion would be to put your big girl panties on, stop whining about how things aren't exactly how you want/expect them to be and stay home and raise your own child.

STOP expecting anyone else to out up with your convoluted ideas about what should and shouldn't be happening while your child is in daycare. If you truly cannot trust another adult to watch her then again, STAY HOME!

We aren't begging for parents like you...we don't need them and we certainly don't want to spend countless hours trying to placate and help parents like you. Many experienced and caring providers offered you advice and yet you still continued to be overbearing and undeterred in proving that no one will be good enough to watch your child.

Which is probably a good thing because if you are this needy, unstable and conniving while your child is only 4 months old, I'd sure hate to see what your behavior will be like as your child ages.

Wowza.....There are definitely some parents that are simply not cut out to be daycare clients and you are definitely one of them.

Please don't waste any more of our time.

You just ruined your last chance at help, support and assistance from anyone here with that last move you made.
  #176  
Old 12-17-2013, 12:56 PM
sleepinghart's Avatar
sleepinghart sleepinghart is offline
Daycare.com Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 342
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
There really is no way to prove or disprove this poster is or isn't a troll.

The IP addresses match for ALL unregistered posts that the OP posted.

The IP address is from a southern state.

Personally I think this is just another severe helicopter mom that had NO CLUE what she was doing by enrolling her child in daycare.

I think she failed to do her research, she failed to address her fears and concerns with her provider(s) and she ultimately failed at trying to justify this situation by recording her provider.....without the providers knowledge.

To me this simply reeks of parent that does MORE harm than good when trying to control the situation and the outcome.

If this is truly not a troll, then my only suggestion would be to put your big girl panties on, stop whining about how things aren't exactly how you want/expect them to be and stay home and raise your own child.

STOP expecting anyone else to out up with your convoluted ideas about what should and shouldn't be happening while your child is in daycare. If you truly cannot trust another adult to watch her then again, STAY HOME!

We aren't begging for parents like you...we don't need them and we certainly don't want to spend countless hours trying to placate and help parents like you. Many experienced and caring providers offered you advice and yet you still continued to be overbearing and undeterred in proving that no one will be good enough to watch your child.

Which is probably a good thing because if you are this needy, unstable and conniving while your child is only 4 months old, I'd sure hate to see what your behavior will be like as your child ages.

Wowza.....There are definitely some parents that are simply not cut out to be daycare clients and you are definitely one of them.

Please don't waste any more of our time.

You just ruined your last chance at help, support and assistance from anyone here with that last move you made.


~...Fair enough, and true enough.


Btw,

(blackcat31 quote) "The IP addresses match for ALL unregistered posts that the OP posted" (end)

~The IP matching doesn't rule out a troll completely though right....Just curious?


~If not a troll, she should just own it like big boys & girls do -- That's my thing.
  #177  
Old 12-17-2013, 12:58 PM
Blackcat31's Avatar
Blackcat31 Blackcat31 is offline
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 18,422
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by sleepinghart View Post

~The IP matching doesn't rule out a troll completely though right....Just curious?
No. I just wanted to note that the poster claiming to be the OP was the same person each time.

Doesn't mean they are a troll however.

Although the possibility is there. I don't know...I just think this is a parent that has NO clue about expectations and child care.
Closed Thread

Tags
crazy parent, drop off behavior, first time mom, high maintenance, motion soothing, parent - helicopter, rage baby, recording device, separation anxiety, transitioning

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Question With A Bit Of A Rant, But Circling Back To The Question! MaritimeMummy Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 14 09-25-2012 12:29 PM
Dumbest Question Of The Year.... Countrygal Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 14 09-01-2012 05:08 AM
Question...About 52 Week Pay Periods frugalmama4 Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 9 08-09-2012 01:21 PM
Part Time Question tenderhearts Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 12 06-30-2010 06:46 PM
A Question About Rates (imagine that!) Momof2Boys Daycare Center and Family Home Forum 4 05-04-2010 02:30 PM


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:34 AM.



Daycare.com         Find A Daycare         List Your Daycare         Toys & Products                 About Us

Daycare.com
Please read our Disclaimer before continuing.

Topics pertain mainly to the following States:

Alabama Alaska Arizona Arkansas California Colorado Connecticut Delaware District of Columbia Florida Georgia Hawaii Idaho Illinois Indiana Iowa Kansas Kentucky Louisiana Maine Maryland Massachusetts Michigan Minnesota Mississippi Missouri Montana Nebraska Nevada New Hampshire New Jersey New Mexico New York North Carolina North Dakota Ohio Oklahoma Oregon Pennsylvania Rhode Island South Carolina South Dakota Tennessee Texas Utah Vermont Virginia Washington West Virginia Wisconsin Wyoming