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Old 05-13-2019, 12:14 PM
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Default Top Reasons for Terminating Care

Hi everyone!

What's your deal breaker? Reason for terminating care? I'm about to kick one out that is misbehaving during nap time. I have kicked one out for constant fussing, almost kicked one out because mom was crazy and treated me like I was her teenage daughter
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Old 05-13-2019, 12:23 PM
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1 child terminated for their behavior in 12+ years. Otherwise it's all been on the parents- late payment/ nonpayment, not following policies, or not understanding I'm not their employee.

ETA: it's usually not "1" thing. Parents who push it usually try it in multiple ways.
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Old 05-13-2019, 12:38 PM
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We have threads for terminating with these TAGS:

Non-Payment
Sick Policy
Disrespectful
Screaming
Behavioral
Bad Fit
No Show
Biter
Hyper
No Trust
Inappropriate Behavior
Violent
Because Of Parents
Illness/Sickness
Cigarette Smoke
Stealing
Lying
Due To Hours
Won't Nap
Hitting
Crying
Warts
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Old 05-13-2019, 01:02 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DaveA View Post
1 child terminated for their behavior in 12+ years. Otherwise it's all been on the parents- late payment/ nonpayment, not following policies, or not understanding I'm not their employee.

ETA: it's usually not "1" thing. Parents who push it usually try it in multiple ways.


There have been a couple of children that didn’t make it past interview due to their behavior during the interview, but the parents I’ve wanted gone have been crazy, high-maintenance parents.

But for me the relationship usually goes downhill when I start saying “no” a lot. High-maint types can’t handle being told”no.”
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Old 05-13-2019, 01:08 PM
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Children: Violent Behaviors that don't improve with intervention in a reasonable amount of time.

Adults: Let me count the ways.
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Old 05-13-2019, 01:09 PM
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Non payment and not following our policies have been the reason in our daycare center.
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Old 05-13-2019, 01:16 PM
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I'm about to tell a family their kid can't come back next year (I close for the summer). He is constantly causing trouble during nap time and his new feature is biting. Sad part is, he was one of my first daycare kids, but if I have to do another year with this kid, I'll lose my mind.

I've also termed for:

3-Parental lack of cooperation (making demands, being rude/acting like I work for them, not paying on time, ignoring policies, dropping off/picking up whenever they felt like regardless of my hours and so on)
1-Absolutely crazy behavior of a two year old. I know they're energetic, but this kid was always on 10. I couldn't handle it.
1-Super aggressive/angry behavior; throwing chairs, any toy they could find, shoving other kids just because, etc.

I've only been open a little less than 2 years, so I'm a bit embarrassed of how many families I've termed; but it feels so good to term the clients I just don't get on well with. I figure I might as well enjoy the job I conjured up out of thin air!
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Old 05-13-2019, 01:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BGM View Post

I've only been open a little less than 2 years, so I'm a bit embarrassed of how many families I've termed; but it feels so good to term the clients I just don't get on well with. I figure I might as well enjoy the job I conjured up out of thin air!
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Old 05-13-2019, 01:40 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BGM View Post

I've only been open a little less than 2 years, so I'm a bit embarrassed of how many families I've termed; but it feels so good to term the clients I just don't get on well with. I figure I might as well enjoy the job I conjured up out of thin air!
Oh No! Do NOT be embarrassed about having to find your groove! That's actually a good thing!!

What people "think" operating a child care is like and what operating one is actually like are two totally different movies so I think going through a lot of families is a great way to learn what does and doesn't work for you. It's also a great way to learn the business and gain experience.

It's the providers that refuse to terminate a family or child that is down right awful simply because they were one of their first families. That logic always makes me sad.
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Old 05-13-2019, 02:38 PM
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I terminated two children for aggressive out of control behaviour and constant crying. First one lasted 7 months, second lasted a week.

I terminated two children because their parents were in denial about developmental delays/issues. One child turned out to be deaf, another child I suspected ASD.

I am usually able to deal with parental behaviour but it is by far the most stressful aspect of this job. I have been contemplating ending care for one family because mom is always asking me to stop napping her kid no matter how many times I have addressed the issue in a polite manner.
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Old 05-13-2019, 03:49 PM
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Terminated one on the spot for extreme aggression (FAS case and the family lied about being kicked out of the previous daycare for aggression)

Terminated one on the spot for drug paraphernalia out in the open while I was babysitting from their house with my own child on site. Should have terminated months earlier for aggression and late payments and late pick ups. My first months being open and it's a learning curve

Terminated one for nonstop hysterical screaming from dropoff to pickup (family said at termination that the same thing happens in the church nursery)

Terminated one with advance notice because they were part time and I needed their spot for a sibling of a full-time kid
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Old 05-13-2019, 04:56 PM
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I out and out termed one child because I didn't feel I could keep the little Houdini safe.

I didn't term but I did nudge people out the door for not wanting their exhausted child to nap at nap time, for showing up late for pick up too often and for raising his fists to me as if he were going to punch me after I explained that his newly walking child lost his balance and fell onto a toy, resulting in a small bruise. (I should have out and out termed him for that but....you live and learn.) He was nudged out shortly after that night!
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Old 05-13-2019, 05:29 PM
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When I was first starting out I had to call for pick up because dcg 18 mo. had diarrhea. He had a lot of diarrhea all the time because he slept with a bottle of apple juice and drank mass quantities throughout the day at his house. I personally did not feel it was my job to clean up diarrhea because they gave him crap to drink. The dad was extremely pissed that he had to come pick up. He said I just couldn't handle the diarrhea that is why I called him. He was very rude and made me feel extremely uncomfortable.

I terminated a family last year because they never paid on time and broke rules. Then they went and switched their work schedules and ASSUMED I was just going to accommodate. Buh bye
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Old 05-14-2019, 02:15 AM
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Thinking back there have been many I should have terminated but hung in there. They either aged out or I was magically full when they wanted to return during the summer, had another sibling, etc. I had 2 dcfs that I did terminate; their kids used horrible vulgar language but in both cases that was kind of the straw that broke the camel's back. There are lots of ways to deal with late payments, dcps not following rules, etc. but when their kids call me an effin bit@h on top of it all, that's when I say come get them, take 'em home and don't come back.
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Old 05-14-2019, 04:48 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DaveA View Post

it's usually not "1" thing. Parents who push it usually try it in multiple ways.


Just about all families I've terminated, was due to disrespectful parents that signed my contract having no intention what so ever of following my policies!
I don't have patience for disrespectful boundary pushers
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Old 05-14-2019, 06:53 AM
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I've only termed one family. My ratios changed and made me include my own kid. So I had to give notice to a parent so I would not be over. I actually gave birth to my seconed two days before the change, but had one parent who chose to leave themselves cause my husband (who's backup in my contract) was going to be helping full time for a couple weeks while I recovered. So it was only the one family I had to let go myself.
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Old 05-14-2019, 11:59 AM
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So far, I have termed for EXTREME bad behavior (violence, destroying my house), non-payment after several warnings, inconsistent payment/having to ask constantly to be paid and then Mom's attitude made it a termination on the spot, consistent late payment, and on Friday, bad behavior with the parents making excuses instead of trying to help fix it. Working through my 2 week notice right now, ugh!
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Old 05-14-2019, 11:59 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
So far, I have termed for EXTREME bad behavior (violence, destroying my house), non-payment after several warnings, inconsistent payment/having to ask constantly to be paid and then Mom's attitude made it a termination on the spot, consistent late payment, and on Friday, bad behavior with the parents making excuses instead of trying to help fix it. Working through my 2 week notice right now, ugh!
Oops, wasn't logged in!
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Old 05-14-2019, 01:15 PM
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Okay here's my list. I have never really termed, rather I've pushed back on policies that were violated or I have had to say "no" a lot and some parents have been offended enough to leave. But here it is.

Family #1. First family in care, before I was licensed. Lots of oppositional behavior from mom. Used to bring dcb2 in dirty clothing so bad it was like 1/4 thick of breakfast on the front of clothing. We made him bibs for his birthday to use at home. Not used. Wouldn't bring vaccinations when I was getting licensed, even though I told dcm that there would be a civil money penalty. Pitched a fit when I told her that her kids needed to be excluded from care due to open cold sores (my family doesn't have that virus and voted for exclusion). Dcm texted me to say that she would have to look for other care. I didn't blink and texted back how much we'd miss them. Buh bye! Left owning me money.
* Changed my policies to prepayment.

Family #2
Dcm told me point blank at enrollment that she wanted dcg to be my favorite. Dcm strong outgoing personality (to the point of diva) and SA dcg was the same. Dcm decided that they wanted to be vegan and provide own lunch. Lunch provided was never vegan and was mostly sweet stuff. Dcg had eating issues and couldn't stop eating. Dcg used to lie to the littles and take their food from them if my back was turned. Dcm wouldn't hear me out about the eating issues. Dcm liked to bring dcg in high fashion, brought her in boots with tons of lacing. I was losing my patience at this point and bluntly told her that she couldn't come in those boots anymore. Dcm left in a huff.
* Changed my policies to say self-sufficient dressing for SA kids.

Family #3
Held a spot for a teacher during the Summer. Teach was DS least favorite teacher ever. The kids used to alter her name and call her something like Mrs. Screwover (name changed for privacy ). But, I thought, he was in 7th grade. Maybe he just didn't like her because she gave too much homework. Nope.
Day before care, I called to remind to bring formula but that I would provide cereal. Mom shows up with no formula but brought cereal, and she asked me to only feed infant water. No can do, dcm. Mom brings infant in white romper and comments if she finds any spots of food on it. Mom says that she doesn't want commando crawling infant outside because he might get dirty. The insanity went on for about a week, at which point she said that I had never mentioned to her that DS subbed once a week while I took DD to a class. There would have been a very short overlap on the subbing due to teacher schedule. Dcm says that she needs to quit over DS subbing.
* Changed policies to never hold spots without payment.

Family #4
20 mth old had maybe a 1/2 second attention span, and was completely incapable of playing by himself for even 10 minutes. Constantly bugged older sister, but I still worked with him. But parents wouldn't have convos with me at drop off/pick up. Ignored my requests for sweaters as the weather got cooler. I donated some of DD's nice, too small, sweaters to the family. I sent an email to all parents about bringing sweaters, but I accidentally left dcd's email address off the BCC list. (They never gave me mom's--I think that dad called all the shots in this family.) I told dad at pick up that I would need to start charging fees to loan sweaters. He grabbed his kids and charged out the door without a word and termed.
I suspect that there was a little ADHD with dcb and also with dcd.

Family #5
I've already written about that one extensively. Bottom line is that dcd creeped me out when he began saying that he thought that dcg was getting hit at my house. After consult with OCCL and getting advised to watch for signs of abuse, I actually told them that I'd been given that advise. They were just too much overall in a number of ways, but that final stuff was bizarre and creepy. I ended up at the doctor's office at that time with chest pains and was diagnosed with stress (nothing wrong with my heart). I told the doc all about this family, and she agreed that the incident probably triggered the chest pains.
* Going to put more effort into vetting in the future. I've just been too willing to give people a try.


IMO there is just no drama like daycare drama.
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Old 05-14-2019, 01:27 PM
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Family #3
Held a spot for a teacher during the Summer. Teach was DS least favorite teacher ever. The kids used to alter her name and call her something like Mrs. Screwover (name changed for privacy ). But, I thought, he was in 7th grade. Maybe he just didn't like her because she gave too much homework. Nope.
Day before care, I called to remind to bring formula but that I would provide cereal. Mom shows up with no formula but brought cereal, and she asked me to only feed infant water. No can do, dcm. Mom brings infant in white romper and comments if she finds any spots of food on it. Mom says that she doesn't want commando crawling infant outside because he might get dirty. The insanity went on for about a week, at which point she said that I had never mentioned to her that DS subbed once a week while I took DD to a class. There would have been a very short overlap on the subbing due to teacher schedule. Dcm says that she needs to quit over DS subbing.
* Changed policies to never hold spots without payment.

Correction; DH subbed once a week.

Last edited by Blackcat31; 05-14-2019 at 02:06 PM.
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Old 05-15-2019, 08:36 AM
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I've done this for 6.5 years now. I've termed 3 families (actually, 2.5..lol).

1 for repeated non payment (that was when I was new and before I required payment in advance).

1 because DCB was just out of control. He was aggressive with the other kids and had impulse control issues. When I put him in timeout, he would scream bloody murder to the point it hurt everyone's ears! I tried just moving him to another room for timeouts, but I was honestly afraid someone was going to call the police on me for the shrieks coming from my house...it was time for him to move on.... I held on way too long though because he was my first daycare kid ever. The parents tried to work with me on their end, but I think he needed more help than just a little discipline.

The 3rd family is actually the DCM of the out of control kid. I have her 2 boys from her new marriage and they've gone off the deep end with their dietary "needs". I just don't mesh well with their lifestyle any more. The ages I had in care were already tough and this just put things over the top. I'm not happy doing my job anymore. Today is day 3 of their 2 week notice. I'm so ready for peace...even if it means losing the income from one of the spots. I've filled the other with a new baby from another previous DCF. I liked working with them before and catching up at the interview was nice 😊
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Old 05-15-2019, 10:11 AM
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My very first one was a 2 yr old child who wouldn't nap and she tried her hardest to sneak away when she thought I wasn't looking. I just couldn't handle the added stress to my day with her.

Another was the mom who needed to "compromise" because she thought the $3/week increase for added time was unfair.

Another was the dad who brought dcb with the worst cast of impetigo I've ever seen and when I said no, he yelled at me saying I was costing him thousands, slammed my door on the way out and screeched his car out of my driveway. All while his poor son was crying so loud (probably out of actual impetigo pain and fear of his crazy dad).

Latest one was non payment.

Others, I have coaxed out with suggestions of preschool or not having the right atmosphere for their child.
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bite to the face, drama - parent, high conflict parent, payment issues, reasons for termination, subsidy issues, terminate, termination - reasons, unreasonable parental expectations, violence in child care

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