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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>How Does Your 2YO Daycare Kids Behave?
My4SunshineGirlsNY 04:46 AM 12-28-2010
I am really enjoying running a smaller daycare this year. I decided I have been overloading myself the past 2 years so it has been very nice and much less stressful.

I'm just curious for those that have 2 year old daycare kids, how they behave in your daycare setting?

I have one part day 2 year old daycare boy (just turned 2 in Nov.) and he has been busy from the moment I took him in last year at 16 months old. I'm starting to get a bit discouraged though because I'm not sure how to discipline him effectivly, the time outs and stern "no" and talking to him seems to be doing no good.

He throws toys/objects without warning..anything minor will upset him and he throws. If he's into something he shouldn't and I redirect him, that upsets him and he throws whatever he can. He has thrown a hard fridge phonics toy at my 2 1/2 year old daycare boy and gave him a purple bruise under his eye. He hits at anyone without warning for no reason at all. He's very hyper and rough, when I put him in time out for these things he kicks at me and sometimes yells.....yet on the flip side he can be very calm and sweet, it's like he turns like a switch at times.

He's the type that requires second for second supervision or he could be getting into trouble. Yesterday when his mom came to pick up he ran full force toward our 65" big screen TV and slammed both of his hands into it. My husband was here as he's off for the week and he was NOT happy! His mom spoke to him but certainly the boy wasn't even hearing a thing and it wasn't even half as stern as it should have been for that situation.

Recently the mom requested if I could watch him full time because normally the boys grandma takes him 1/2 day and I take over the 2nd half of the day but he's getting too much for the grandma to keep up with.

So you see he's busy and has discipline issues but is this "normal" for 2 year old boys? I have 4 girls myself and my youngest (who is now 5) was very busy at age 2 but in daycare she was quiet as a mouse and listened. How are your 2 year old daycare kids? Just curious what everyone else deals with and what are your tactics to get them to behave better?
marniewon 05:01 AM 12-28-2010
I don't think it's a boy thing or a 2 year old thing. My guess would be it's just him. Or his upbringing/discipline (lack of discipline). I have a 2yo boy and he's great. He's busy but well behaved. I have an almost 2 boy and he's also great. Busy but well behaved. Now, I have a 14mo old boy who is a pistol. Throws temper tantrums and screams and hits and throws things. No advice, but I don't think it's all 2 year old boys .
daysofelijah 05:05 AM 12-28-2010
No I think that sounds like more than the normal rowdy 2 yo boy behavior. Some throwing, maybe hitting can be normal, but it seems like he's taking it to extremes. It sounds like you definitely have a spirited little guy there.
My4SunshineGirlsNY 06:52 AM 12-28-2010
Originally Posted by daysofelijah:
It sounds like you definitely have a spirited little guy there.
I think that's it! I'm afraid as he gets older it will get worse. I hope I'm wrong, but as time goes on he gets more head strong.
gbcc 06:56 AM 12-28-2010
I have raised a boy myself and I have a boy in daycare who is 2. Neither one of them acted that way. My daycare boy is very active. Into everything and doesn't often sit long at one task. My 2 girls are also like this though and they are a month apart.

I would really be concerned with the tantrums and the violent outburst. I personally think there is something going on at home that needs to be addressed. In all my years working with children I only had one child like you described. He was 3. He would hit, almost attack other children. It turned out that he would witness dad hitting mom and therefore learned this was approriate behavior when you dislike something. There was suspect the child was abused as well but I wasn't privledged to the results of the investigation.
DCMom 09:39 AM 12-28-2010
It's just him, but there may not be alot of discipline at home.

I have 3 three-year old boys. I have had them all since they were infants; one sounds just like your dcb. Everything he does or says is 'adorable' and 'cute' at home, there is virtually no discipline. If he doesn't want to do something, he just doesn't do it and there is no consequences (usually you get the 'oh, W****, hahahah'). One of them is very sweet, never any trouble ~ mom and dad are (in my opinion) wonderful parents. High expectations, very disciplined, always talk to dcb. Both of these kids are only children. The third is middle of the road, he has his moments but for the most part a good kid. He is a third child with a BIG space between him and the next sibling. He kind of brings up the rear in the family, kwim?

Boys ARE different than girls though ~ in my experience they are just louder and rougher. But it doesn't mean it can't be curbed.
Cat Herder 10:02 AM 12-28-2010
I have two sons and currently care for two 2yo dcb's...

This is age appropriate behavior, BUT is not to be tolerated. He is testing his limits and purposely doing the things that get the biggest response from you. Here they choose to spit if I have somehow "offended", like making it rain so they cannot go outside to play, since they know it is MY "Hot Button".

This would be a discipline issue to me, too, like most PP. Consistent redirection/time-out is what is recommended. Good luck, he sounds like a strong willed little guy. I hope the Parents work with you on a great Disciplinary plan.
nannyde 10:09 AM 12-28-2010
I don't see any difference between boys and girls here behavior wise. The boys usually eat more than the girls and grow a bit faster but other than that they play the same. If parents are promoting certain kinds of play (like Thomas the tank engine) then I will see a little fixation with those characters.

My two year olds are wonderful. We have very close supervision at all times they are up but if a child shows that they can't safely play without an adult shadowing them then I would set up a play yard for that child and have them play in that any time we couldn't have an adult within inches. I would fill the play yard with toys that can be thrown that do not cause damage or injury like stuffed animals, cloth books, cloth etc. Nothing hard plastic or anything with any weight to it.

I would just slowly integrate him in with my most balanced stable child (normally the eldest or second eldest) in groupings of just two kids. I want my older kids to model the behavior I want with the younger ones. If he couldn't make it with my most proficient kids then he would have a significant amount of time to himself in the play yards until he could.

I have superyards that can be put together with enough panels for 18 square foot or 36 square foot. I have a lot of soft toys and light toys like duplo. He may need some time to have his own area and just WATCH the safe, nice, healthy play of stable children.

If he must be physically integrated at all times then it's time to discuss with the parents that he needs his own adult to keep him and the kids safe. We will see a growing percentage of young children who really need one to one care as time goes on. It's going to become incresingly difficult to have a population of kids that can manage being one of many. If State regs prevent you from confining him into a safe zone then he may not work in a group.
Lucy 10:42 AM 12-28-2010
I have a girl who turned 2 in mid-August. She is in no way mean, she just has a lot of energy and spirit, if that's what you want to call it! lol. She does test her boundaries. Things she's been told is a no-no, she will glance at me before she does them to see if I'm looking. So she does need constant watching. We can't do a whole lot while she's awake. It frustrates the other kids every now and then, but they're pretty good with her and with the situation. One 7-yr old boy is her brother, so he's used to it. All my 4 kids have been here since birth, so they pretty much feel like siblings anyway. The 2-yr old does not get aggressive, she just plays HARD. She has a really good temperament, but is learning her limits and learning right from wrong. It's a tough age, which is why the saying goes "terrible twos".
My4SunshineGirlsNY 06:41 PM 12-28-2010
I am glad my husband is home this week, using up his vacation time. He has been a BIG help this week with this boy because I can't even clean up the kitchen as the 2 year old boy is hitting someone or throwing something before I can even finish. So the moment he hit/threw today my husband had him sit by the couch in time out and the boy listen to him (my husband is so good with the kids! keeps his cool and helps me out, he's a good father!).

I'm kind of glad my husband gets to see what I go through when this boy is here because sometimes I think he thinks I make these things up, but he was ready for the boy to leave today too!

The boy lives with his mom and grandma...they raise him together and they are wonderful people, really I LOVE them, they are great people...I just think with this being her first child and raising him with no father, the mom doesn't realize the importance of nipping this in the bud before it gets out of hand. I do know she has been very frustrated with his behavior at home, but I do not know how firm she disciplines him. I'm thinking things are more "cute" or she lets many things slide before she gets too upset.

I'm hoping with my husbands help this week to be able to catch him at the very moment he hits/throws to make him sit each and every time will make some progress with the boys behavior here. Fingers crossed! Wish I had an assisant every day!
marniewon 06:46 PM 12-28-2010
Originally Posted by My4SunshineGirlsNY:

I'm kind of glad my husband gets to see what I go through when this boy is here because sometimes I think he thinks I make these things up, but he was ready for the boy to leave today too!
Oh my gosh - I feel the exact same way - I have a screamer that I'm always complaining about to my dh, and by the time he gets home at night, screamer is happy to see him so he's in a good mood. Luckily, my dh has been home a few days too and can see what I deal with.
ninosqueridos 06:58 PM 12-28-2010
Sounds like my own ds who will be 2 in Jan. He is the sweetest love of a boy, but as soon as he's upset or doesn't get his way, he'll fling whatever is within inches of him...and if nothing is throwable close to him, he'll go get something to throw. He started this about 3 weeks ago. I consistently redirected and redirected with a firm NO followed by "oh, let's look at these things over here, sweetie......blah blah blah" and it was not enough for him to "get over" whatever he was upset about. He knew the throwing and high-pitched screaming got my attention, so I decided after a week to just ignore him (as long as nobody was getting hurt of course).....and his throwing and screaming has reduced by at least half if not more. I figured it wouldn't hurt to try - I have already removed wooden blocks and trains from his reach so as to keep the other kids safe while he goes through this stage. And I have to say that just because he acts this way doesn't mean he has no discipline at home. It's just him. He has siblings that never acted out that way.
Live and Learn 07:13 PM 12-28-2010
I care for a two and a half yr old boy. He is a living doll. Never a hit, throw, bite, or scream. I keep a very mellow house though and it's just me and 3 to 4 kiddies. That helps a bunch. Good Luck
Tags:2 year old, behavior
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