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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Child Telling Peers What to Do and Causing Dangerous Situations
daycare 03:29 PM 06-04-2014
I have a dcg who is 3.5. SHe is a very different child, but we love her.

we have been having issues with her being bossy and telling the kids what to do all the time. Typical for a girl this age.

Well today we went on a walk where there is a small part of the walk we have to cross a very private street. As we are crossing the street, DCG tells all of the DCKs freeze, RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET. Of course there is a car coming, waiting for us to cross which NEVER happens.

All of the kids did stop right in the middle of the street and it took me and two other adult helpers to get them all onto the sidewalk while this car waited.

This DCGs bossiness is now becoming dangerous. Would you let the parent know and what would you say?

Normally we tell her to worry about herself, not the other kids, go play...

This could have been really bad..............
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racemom 03:39 PM 06-04-2014
Originally Posted by daycare:
I have a dcg who is 3.5. SHe is a very different child, but we love her.

we have been having issues with her being bossy and telling the kids what to do all the time. Typical for a girl this age.

Well today we went on a walk where there is a small part of the walk we have to cross a very private street. As we are crossing the street, DCG tells all of the DCKs freeze, RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET. Of course there is a car coming, waiting for us to cross which NEVER happens.

All of the kids did stop right in the middle of the street and it took me and two other adult helpers to get them all onto the sidewalk while this car waited.

This DCGs bossiness is now becoming dangerous. Would you let the parent know and what would you say?

Normally we tell her to worry about herself, not the other kids, go play...

This could have been really bad..............
Is it possible to leave her behind when you go on your next walk? If an adult is able to stay with her at your home I would do that and explain to her why "yesterday when you told the other kids to freeze you put us all in danger, so for all of our safety you will be staying here with miss helper until you are able to remember who the teachers are." It may seem drastic but it maybe what she needs.
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daycare 03:42 PM 06-04-2014
Originally Posted by racemom:
Is it possible to leave her behind when you go on your next walk? If an adult is able to stay with her at your home I would do that and explain to her why "yesterday when you told the other kids to freeze you put us all in danger, so for all of our safety you will be staying here with miss helper until you are able to remember who the teachers are." It may seem drastic but it maybe what she needs.
on this day yes we could have had her stay behind...Buy I normally don't have 3 adults though. I have a special needs child and her aid comes here on Wednesdays so she came with us on the walk. On the rest of the week when there are only 2 adults, I would not be able to do that because of ratios.............
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SilverSabre25 03:54 PM 06-04-2014
on the one hand, that child would SO be my buddy from now on. On the other hand, the other kids need to know that she's not in charge, kwim?
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daycare 03:56 PM 06-04-2014
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
on the one hand, that child would SO be my buddy from now on. On the other hand, the other kids need to know that she's not in charge, kwim?
I know exactly what you mean. I did tell the kids she is not the boss and she is not the teacher. But then it goes back you need to listen to your friends words or honor their words.... I am so torn on what to do with this. I was so mad that I almost called her mother to come pick her up
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debbiedoeszip 04:38 PM 06-04-2014
I would explain to her how dangerous her words/actions were and that if it happens next time (on a walk, field trip, etc), the entire group will be returning right away to the daycare and that for the rest of the day she'll have to stay close to you.
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Mom2TLE 05:10 PM 06-04-2014
The first thing that I thought of while reading this was, a few years ago a mom walked out of our local Mcdonalds. The way it is set up is to walk out you have to walk through the drive thru line to go to the parking lot. Her six kids always walked in a little line oldest to youngest once the fifth, child got past a driver didn't see the smallest, thinking that they had all past he drove forward killing the 2 year old.
I would only let her walk right next to me and let her know before leaving that you and only you are allowed to tell the other children what to do. If it happened again she would not get to go on walks anymore.
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daycare 05:33 PM 06-04-2014
Originally Posted by Mom2TLE:
The first thing that I thought of while reading this was, a few years ago a mom walked out of our local Mcdonalds. The way it is set up is to walk out you have to walk through the drive thru line to go to the parking lot. Her six kids always walked in a little line oldest to youngest once the fifth, child got past a driver didn't see the smallest, thinking that they had all past he drove forward killing the 2 year old.
I would only let her walk right next to me and let her know before leaving that you and only you are allowed to tell the other children what to do. If it happened again she would not get to go on walks anymore.
OMG that is so scary....yeah I think she will be my shadow from now on and will be told no more of that at all..... I tried to explain to her how dangerous that could have been but she didnt seem to grasp it too well...
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Angelsj 07:10 PM 06-04-2014
For this situation, I would set up learning experiences for the children.
I would ask them to play "Simon says" or teacher says. Have the little bossy one be the one they DON'T listen to. If "child" says stop we do NOT stop. If "teacher" says stop, we stop. Go through several trials with child saying one thing and YOU being the one to listen to.
I would have an adult prompt the bossy girl (later you can have other children play that role so she doesn't feel picked on) and encourage the kids to listen to the adult.
You may have to spend some time with the group explaining when it is good to honor our friends words (if they ask you to stop touching them) and when they should only listen to adults (on a walk or when it is time to do something.)
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Play Care 02:48 AM 06-05-2014
Originally Posted by Angelsj:
For this situation, I would set up learning experiences for the children.
I would ask them to play "Simon says" or teacher says. Have the little bossy one be the one they DON'T listen to. If "child" says stop we do NOT stop. If "teacher" says stop, we stop. Go through several trials with child saying one thing and YOU being the one to listen to.
I would have an adult prompt the bossy girl (later you can have other children play that role so she doesn't feel picked on) and encourage the kids to listen to the adult.
You may have to spend some time with the group explaining when it is good to honor our friends words (if they ask you to stop touching them) and when they should only listen to adults (on a walk or when it is time to do something.)


I'm kind of surprised everyone stopped just because the "bossy" child said to - I've got some bossy pants in my dc, but the other kids pretty much ignore their commands
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