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Unregistered 09:01 AM 10-23-2015
Good morning everyone! I have an issue and need advise on how to behave and what to do.

Situation:

A women owns a daycare and hired her adult daughter to work in the daycare. The women pays her as an employee and the adult daughter get pregnant. The adult daughter then moves in with the father of the baby and 2 months later the father of baby kicks the adult daughter out due them fighting over his constant cheating with other women.

The adult daughter moves in with her mom. The mom buys the adult daughter everything she needs during her pregnancy plus buys the baby everthing it will need. The father of the baby bought a $40.00 matress for the $1,000 crib set. The father of a baby has a really great job that pays well over $20.00 a hour at a factory. He donates nothing to the baby or adult daughter. The mother of the father of the baby was evicted from her home because her ability to hold down a job and her husband going to jail for having a sexual relationship with his 13 year old niece. Then the father of the baby gets evicted for not paying his rent. The father of the baby cussed out the pregnant daughter everyday, denied the baby everyday, made threats, and acted like a child the whole time.

The baby was going to be induced and the father of the baby was named the support person during labor. THe father did not show up but his trashy mother did. The trashy mother then sent her other son to go wake up the father of the baby who was furious that he was woke up. He came to the hospital being vulgar in front of nurses and doctors with the concern of having sex with the women in labor. He never offered any support to the labor women unless a dr or nurse was in the room...he crawled in bed with the women giving birth and humped on her while both families and nurses were in the room..

Now, after the birth the father of the baby and his mother never left the room. They stayed the whole time pressuring the women to give the baby their last name and let the dad sign the Birth Certificate. The women declined and did not allow it only because she was pressured by a lawyer. The mother of the father of the baby was heard in the hallway talking how they were going to take the baby away from the women. The hospital did pictures and the trashy women and father of baby stood there and refused to pay for anything even though they got to be in the pcitures with the baby. The women of baby calls her mother who gives her $200.00 to buy the pictures. and they got the pcitures when they came in.

Now, the women and child live with her mom and the mom does all of the support. The women has not idea how to tend to the child but does try. The father offers no support and visits only when the women of the child calls him. The women of the child buys all the babies clothes that have the word DADDY printed on them, brags and begs for baby to look like him and does her best to get the daddy to come over.

The women of the child now allows the baby to be around the man who was in jail for having the sexual relations with a relative child. The women of the child uses her child to get the father of the baby back.

What to do?

The mother of the women of the child bought the baby everything, paid for the whole entire babyshower, bought the pregnant women everything she needed, and continued to pay her whil eshe was healing from having baby. No one else gives or does anything...

Once the women of the child leaves with this so called father the women of the child's mother will no longer be allowed to see the baby. Even though she spent thousands of dollars on her daughter and grandchild. The women is taking the child every weekend to hang out with this family while her mom never sees the baby. Yes, they do live with her but she does daycare all day long and does not finish with her work until 8pm. She gets to hold the baby 5 min here and 5 min there but that is it...no quailty time due to her duties of a provider of 7 children.

If this women and her child leave to be with this father what should the women do? The relationship is toxic, the goal is to get the baby, and the whole family is right down trash.

On Facebook, they posted a pciture of a baby giving the middle finger and they all were talking about how the baby will be doing stuff like that because the baby is just like its dad!

Who in their right mind thinks that is acceptable to raise a child and funny and cute?????? The mother of the women does not want to bond further with the baby because they will just rip the child away and she will get hurt. The daughter will continue working for the mom but the baby will NOT come....

How fair is this and what would you do?
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Unregistered 09:13 AM 10-23-2015
The parents of the baby will be the ones not allowing the baby to come to the daycare while the mom of child is working.

The father of the baby is very disrepectful while coming to the house wehre the baby lives. He does not knock but walks right on in during nap time of the daycare kids and with his dirty boots stomps on the floor waking the kids up.

The father of the baby ONLY bought a mattress, while the mother of the women bought a $1,000 crib set and everything else.

The father of the baby is over sexed and always being innapropriate around everyone.

The whole time that the women was pregnant she was sneaking out in the middle of the night everytime he called to go have sex with the father of the baby. Even though he was saying mean and nasty things to her she continued to have sex with him....

The whole entire family on the fathers side do not work, couch surf, have no jobs, been in and out of jail, and plain right out trash...teaching a baby the middle finger is not cute!!!! Its right out nasty!!!!
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daycare 09:30 AM 10-23-2015
sounds like a really sticky situation.

If the women had a child, unfortunately, sounds like she is legally old enough to make all of her own choices and you will just have to let her.

The only thing you can do is fight for grandparents rights. UNLESS you know for certain that the baby is in any danger or needs are not being met, you will just have to let things be.

It all sounds so sad for the poor child.
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laundrymom 09:42 AM 10-23-2015
I think the moms mom has enabled the behavior so long the child's mom and dad expect the support to continue.
I would advise the moms mom to stop supporting them. To throw down some ground rules and give babies mom the choice of abiding or moving out. And like, immediately. If she chooses to move out give her a day or so and then sell the items she leaves behind to recoup some of the $$ lost on supporting the daughters lifestyle for so long.
Then I would say no when daughter asked to move back. If child is in danger then call the authorities.
Or it will be a cycle.
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Unregistered 09:43 AM 10-23-2015
There are NO grandparents rights in this state. Very sadden and heart broken. Would you fight or just turn your back and walk away? Honestly, I am thinking of closing down the daycare and moved 16 hours away to the state my sister lives in and just starting over.

Originally Posted by daycare:
sounds like a really sticky situation.

If the women had a child, unfortunately, sounds like she is legally old enough to make all of her own choices and you will just have to let her.

The only thing you can do is fight for grandparents rights. UNLESS you know for certain that the baby is in any danger or needs are not being met, you will just have to let things be.

It all sounds so sad for the poor child.

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laundrymom 09:46 AM 10-23-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
There are NO grandparents rights in this state. Very sadden and heart broken. Would you fight or just turn your back and walk away? Honestly, I am thinking of closing down the daycare and moved 16 hours away to the state my sister lives in and just starting over.
I would do this. Then when daughter asks to move back you are too far for boyfriend to follow her. He will find new booty call.
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Blackcat31 09:59 AM 10-23-2015
I am assuming the mother of the child is an adult.

If so, she has every right to do whatever she wants with the baby (provided its within the law) as well as whom she allows to be near the baby.

It really doesn't matter how much money you spent on any of them. No one made you do that so there isn't much you can do there. I would think it was done FOR the baby.

Unfortunately, you don't get to use any of that as reasons why you would have rights or a say in anything.

The mother of the child chose this father.
Whether the father is a good person, man, father or etc has no bearing on the fact that it IS this child's father and the mother chose to keep him involved/in the picture.

I am sorry you are in this situation but IMHO the best thing you can probably do is to allow your daughter to suffer the consequences of her choices.

Be there for your grand child and your daughter if she wants you in her life, but allow her to do whatever she feels is best for herself and the baby even if you don't agree.

If you raised her, you have to trust that you gave her the tools to do the best she can.



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Ariana 11:50 AM 10-23-2015
You have already gotten some great advice. I am not sure what to say other than if my husband was "humping" on me while I was giving birth it would be the last time he ever humped anything ever for the rest of his life. Your daughter clearly lacks self esteem and has a high tolerance for abusive behavior. You raised her and unfortunately you can't get a do-over. You might be reaping what was sown years ago.
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Heidi 01:03 PM 10-23-2015
Originally Posted by Ariana:
You have already gotten some great advice. I am not sure what to say other than if my husband was "humping" on me while I was giving birth it would be the last time he ever humped anything ever for the rest of his life. Your daughter clearly lacks self esteem and has a high tolerance for abusive behavior. You raised her and unfortunately you can't get a do-over. You might be reaping what was sown years ago.


I'm a little shocked that if he did this in front of medical personnel, he wasn't escorted out of the hospital by security.
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