Default Style Register
Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Do You Go To Daycare Kids Birthday Parties?
LeslieG 10:54 AM 07-18-2017
So I was invited to one of my daycare kids birthday party this weekend. I'll be honest, I'd rather not go. My reasons for not wanting to go are: It's going to be all family except for me, this kid kind of drives me crazy, and I enjoy my weekend spending time with my own family away from daycare kids.

I feel bad though, because the parents seem to really want me there.

What do you do about birthday parties?
Reply
Blackcat31 11:04 AM 07-18-2017
I don't mix business with personal so I do not go.
My off time is family and private time.

More threads about birthday party invites
https://www.daycare.com/forum/tags.p...day+invitation
Reply
Jupadia 11:24 AM 07-18-2017
Currently I go but only because it's realy my kids they are inviting. Both my boys are the same ages of the DK kids. I've also let my boys invite DK kids to their birthdays.
Once my kids are no longer of age to be invited to the party and I recive an in inite then I'll stop going.
Reply
daycarediva 11:34 AM 07-18-2017
I do not go, BUT if invited to a party I do give a gift, otherwise no gift.
Reply
LeslieG 11:43 AM 07-18-2017
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I don't mix business with personal so I do not go.
My off time is family and private time.

More threads about birthday party invites
https://www.daycare.com/forum/tags.p...day+invitation
For those of you that don't go, what do you say to them when you're invited?
Reply
hwichlaz 11:44 AM 07-18-2017
I do, but I have kids close to their ages still. I generally duck out early.
Reply
EntropyControlSpecialist 11:47 AM 07-18-2017
Sometimes. It isn't to be nice, though. I go if it's something that my child will be comfortable attending (so, not an in home party because I'm quickly learning that is too much for her...but an out of the home party where there is a lot going on and no one even looks at her...) AND if it won't be a big noticeable deal to bring along food she can eat (since they almost never have food she can eat there).

I only go to maybe 1/5 of them and it's perfectly fine.
Reply
CityGarden 11:58 AM 07-18-2017
My dd is quite a bit older than the dcks and keeps me pretty busy on the weekends so we would likely have a schedule conflict even if I wanted to go. If I was personally close with the parent outside of my program (and time allowed) I might pop by to drop off the gift at the party.

I do give each dck a small birthday gift and we have treats for them at school to celebrate them!
Reply
rosieteddy 12:10 PM 07-18-2017
I never went/I bowed out by saying the worlds (daycare and famiy)don't mesh well.I told parents it was to confusing for the child.If my own child was invited then I would go as a parent,
Reply
Blackcat31 12:14 PM 07-18-2017
Originally Posted by LeslieG:
For those of you that don't go, what do you say to them when you're invited?
I just tell them thank you for inviting me but I've found its best to keep business and personal separate. If necessary I've added the "I'm sure you understand" phrase.

I have 14 kids. That's ALOT of parties and ALOT of money for gift and sadly, because I AM daycare, I usually ended up entertaining and/or supervising kids. NOT something I care to do during my off time.

Most times it simply can't be helped as those of us in this profession know that kids are naturally drawn to us.

I've even gone so far as to share that reason with parents.

I've never had a parent be upset or not understand
Reply
Mike 05:06 AM 07-19-2017
Depends. If they're inviting children and adults the kid knows, I would, but if it's a kids party, like they usually are, I'd send a gift.
Reply
Indoorvoice 05:35 AM 07-19-2017
Yes, only because my kids are friends with the dcks AND because I currently like my families a lot. I have declined in the past and just say I have other plans.
Reply
KIDZRMYBIZ 07:31 AM 07-19-2017
Same with me. I used to go to just the DCKs that were buddies with my own kids before they were SA, and treated it more as an invite for them and not me.

I have been to birthday parties where the DCK glued onto me and then would hardly go to their grandmas, aunts, or uncles, which was awkward.

I have also been privy to convos complaining about this or that about normal various daycare policies and cost, without them realizing who I was in relation to the DCK. Now that was always funny when I would comment with my personal perspective!

Now that my kids are all much older SA, I am relieved not to go to these things. Whenever I get an invite, I have a readied response: "Oh, my husband has family in town that weekend. I will be with my in-laws. I bet I'm going to miss a fun party!"
Reply
daycare 07:41 AM 07-19-2017
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I just tell them thank you for inviting me but I've found its best to keep business and personal separate. If necessary I've added the "I'm sure you understand" phrase.

I have 14 kids. That's ALOT of parties and ALOT of money for gift and sadly, because I AM daycare, I usually ended up entertaining and/or supervising kids. NOT something I care to do during my off time.

Most times it simply can't be helped as those of us in this profession know that kids are naturally drawn to us.

I've even gone so far as to share that reason with parents.

I've never had a parent be upset or not understand
ditto on this.

I have had to tell them as much as I would love to come and really thank them for the invite that we have 17 families and there is no way that I could commit to going to all of those parties. So if I can't make one, I feel it is best to not go to any of them for the sake of hurting someones feelings.

i also have a birthday day once a month here for the kids, and I gift a book and bookmarker with their pic on it, so I don't need to go...lol
Reply
Controlled Chaos 08:05 AM 07-19-2017
Originally Posted by hwichlaz:
I do, but I have kids close to their ages still. I generally duck out early.
Usually it's my kids who are invited as a friend since they are little. But I still only go if it's really convenient and I like the child and parents otherwise "thank you so much for the invite! We have a family conflict but I hope you have a great time." I give all children a gift regardless- I order a set of books every 12 months and have them on hand
Reply
Baby Beluga 08:52 AM 07-19-2017
I don't go.

Ideally it would be great if I could go. DD is the same age as the others and they have all grown up together for 2+ years. BUT mixing personal with business just isn't a good idea. The extended families all want to discuss my work and as a PP said I usually end up watching/caring for all the children there.

I don't give a reason. I just state that we are unable to attend but I hope the birthday child has fun.
Reply
Ariana 09:48 AM 07-19-2017
I went with my very first enrolled family because we were neighbours and friends first. I have never gone to one after that and have never been invited. I think I make it super clear that we are not friends!

If I was asked I would like buy a gift and just make up an excuse. I wouldn't say anything about business and persnal time etc. I would just make up something, vague so they kind of know I am making up an excuse. Its once a year and they will get the hint.
Reply
MrsSteinel'sHouse 10:44 AM 07-19-2017
depends on if I am available or not I have gone to some. But, I don't feel obligated one way or another.
Reply
flying_babyb 03:38 PM 07-19-2017
I work weekends so no! I did attend one because it was my fav DCB who I had taken care of for years. He was a special needs child and mom figured no one would show up
Reply
e.j. 03:38 PM 07-19-2017
I went once (parent was my husband's coworker) and it was all family members except for us. It felt very uncomfortable; I never accepted another invitation. I usually explain that I have other plans for that date - which is true even if my plans are to rest and relax - and I can't make it.
Reply
Meeko 05:54 AM 07-21-2017
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I just tell them thank you for inviting me but I've found its best to keep business and personal separate. If necessary I've added the "I'm sure you understand" phrase.

I have 14 kids. That's ALOT of parties and ALOT of money for gift and sadly, because I AM daycare, I usually ended up entertaining and/or supervising kids. NOT something I care to do during my off time.

Most times it simply can't be helped as those of us in this profession know that kids are naturally drawn to us.

I've even gone so far as to share that reason with parents.

I've never had a parent be upset or not understand
This exactly. We have 16 kids. I can't possibly go to all of the parties (and don't want to).

I just tell the parents that I cannot possibly go to all the parties, so I don't go to any in order to be fair.

Many years ago I did go to one party held at a local skating rink. It quickly became evident that I was asked to go so I could "nanny" the kids for free while the parents socialized. Never again.
Reply
AmyKidsCo 01:15 PM 07-21-2017
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I don't mix business with personal so I do not go.
My off time is family and private time.
Ditto!
Reply
kendallina 03:48 PM 07-21-2017
I don't unless I'm good friends with the family and would have been invited anyways. I just say I have plans.
Reply
knoxmomof2 07:46 AM 07-22-2017
I do ☺️ I love getting an invite to be a part of such a special day. Then again, I only have 4 that I keep at a time! Lol.. As long as they are in my care on their birthday (and have been for a bit), they get a gift from me either way each year.

I just go and stay as long as I feel comfortable staying. I usually have an out ready ahead of time that I can use if necessary if it's a first time visit to their party. If I had a child / family I just didn't want to see in off hours, I would tell them I had plans but thank you for the invite.
Reply
Reply Up