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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>How to approach parents on son's possible developmental issue?
msmegandc 08:33 AM 06-04-2013
I care for a dcb that is 2.5 years old. He fits every category of having autism spectrum disorder. I don't know how to address my concerns with the parents. I want ro ensure he receives interventions and resources should this truly be the right diagnosis. I have to beleive that the parents have aome awareness of his developmental delays and such but on he same hand they seem a bit in denial. Any advice on how to approach parents without making them feel defensive? Or should I just wait and let them figure it out? Any afvice is appreciated! Thanks!
Willow 08:41 AM 06-04-2013
Originally Posted by msmegan:
I care for a dcb that is 2.5 years old. He fits every category of having autism spectrum disorder. I don't know how to address my concerns with the parents. I want ro ensure he receives interventions and resources should this truly be the right diagnosis. I have to beleive that the parents have aome awareness of his developmental delays and such but on he same hand they seem a bit in denial. Any advice on how to approach parents without making them feel defensive? Or should I just wait and let them figure it out? Any afvice is appreciated! Thanks!
I care for a dcb that is 2.5 years old. He fits every category of having autism spectrum disorder. I don't know how to address my concerns with the parents. I want ro ensure he receives interventions and resources should this truly be the right diagnosis. I have to beleive that the parents have aome awareness of his developmental delays and such but on he same hand they seem a bit in denial. Any advice on how to approach parents without making them feel defensive? Or should I just wait and let them figure it out? Any afvice is appreciated! Thanks!
I'm curious what you mean when you say you believe he fits every category of having autism spectrum disorder, what exactly is going on?
How long has he been in your care?
Have you addressed any of what you've been seeing before?
msmegandc 09:09 AM 06-04-2013
I have had him since he was 6 months old.many categories such as social, emotional, developmental.etc...is what I was referring to. He has very limited vocabulary, other than echoing what everybody says around him.he makes very little eye contact, doesn't interact with other children, doesn't respond to any social cues.no matter how many times I attempt to work with him, he is unable to eat with a fork, can barely drink out of a cup, has major issues with any transitions, has major texture fascinations. When I ask him a basic question, he gives absolutely no response. he is withdrawn, plays independently,as if he is in his own world.Of all the research I've done,he fits within the range of having many symptoms related to autism spectrum disorder. I'm fully aware that is not my place to make judgement, however all of his behaviors lead me to believe he does have this type of a diagnosis. I am just concerned that they will miss the window of opportunity for interventions and resources.
youretooloud 09:18 AM 06-04-2013
I have one child here now that is extremely developmentally delayed, and I've mentioned it twice. The mom asked the doctor, the doctor said "he's fine, I won't give a referral". Mom says "he's fine". So, I dropped it.
I know she knows something is wrong, she's even said things like "I think he's trying to talk". I can tell in the way she says it, she's concerned. He is her whole world, and she wants him to be so perfect.
He's three years four months. He should be able to have a conversation, but he can't speak at all, and can't understand others when they speak. He can't swallow solid food yet either. He still has to sleep in a pack n play or a crib.
But, they say "he's fine".
So, I guess "he's fine".
I know she knows something is wrong, she's even said things like "I think he's trying to talk". I can tell in the way she says it, she's concerned. He is her whole world, and she wants him to be so perfect.
He's three years four months. He should be able to have a conversation, but he can't speak at all, and can't understand others when they speak. He can't swallow solid food yet either. He still has to sleep in a pack n play or a crib.
But, they say "he's fine".
So, I guess "he's fine".
msmegandc 09:25 AM 06-04-2013
Wow! That's eye-opening for me to read your post! I cqn definitely foresee this happening to the DCB that I take care of!I still have to put him in a pack in play as well. Oftentimes, the parents will say oh he said this and he said that. I just look at them "like really?" this is why I think that they are in denial or afraid to address the issues.often I find him sitting in a corner rolling a piece of fuzz through his fingers and against his stomach. He will do this for long periods of time.he has a fascination with small pieces of debris that he finds on the floor and it's almost as if its soothing for him to rub it through his fingers. I have also noticed that he becomes extremely agitated for no apparent reason.when I try to console him, he does not want any type of physical consoling.
youretooloud 09:37 AM 06-04-2013
The little guy that I take care of is extremely social. Which is the only reason I don't think it's an autism like issue.
But, he can spend a good part of his day rocking back and forth and chanting the same sounds over and over. His only sound is "AAhhhg AAAhhg" right now, but, before it was "ooohhhh Ooooh". He can only drink from a dripless cup or he chokes to the point of it coming out his nose, and he can only eat soft strained foods like yogurt or the stuff that comes from a pouch. He doesn't ever move his tongue. Ever. He's super happy, but occasionally, if he smiles too much, even that causes him to choke. He chokes no less than 60 times a day. For no apparent reason most times.
But, he's juuuuust fine.
But, he can spend a good part of his day rocking back and forth and chanting the same sounds over and over. His only sound is "AAhhhg AAAhhg" right now, but, before it was "ooohhhh Ooooh". He can only drink from a dripless cup or he chokes to the point of it coming out his nose, and he can only eat soft strained foods like yogurt or the stuff that comes from a pouch. He doesn't ever move his tongue. Ever. He's super happy, but occasionally, if he smiles too much, even that causes him to choke. He chokes no less than 60 times a day. For no apparent reason most times.
But, he's juuuuust fine.
NeedaVaca 09:45 AM 06-04-2013
I would let mom know you are noticing delays and give her a milestone printout, highlight the area's you are seeing problems and tell her an evaluation would be a great thing for him at this point because "I'm sure we all want what is best for DCB". I would not mention autism, let the professionals be the ones to tell her that.
As for the PP, I'm sorry but 3.4 and not speaking or eating solids is a serious delay and I would bring it up again...They are not doing him any favors by living in denial, early intervention is so important for these kiddos! I would say it's neglect to continue this route with him. I would give this mom a printout as well and let her know she can make the referral herself, she does not need a DR for the referral. When she says he's fine I would say how so? I would continue questioning her and talking with her about this. The eval is free and let her know should they find he is fine then it's peace of mind for her
I can guarantee they won't think he's fine....
As for the PP, I'm sorry but 3.4 and not speaking or eating solids is a serious delay and I would bring it up again...They are not doing him any favors by living in denial, early intervention is so important for these kiddos! I would say it's neglect to continue this route with him. I would give this mom a printout as well and let her know she can make the referral herself, she does not need a DR for the referral. When she says he's fine I would say how so? I would continue questioning her and talking with her about this. The eval is free and let her know should they find he is fine then it's peace of mind for her
I can guarantee they won't think he's fine....
Cradle2crayons 10:04 AM 06-04-2013
As a mom who was in denial herself with my only daughter, wow it's hard. I had medical experience, I had research, I had all the print outs.
What finally struck a chord with me and knocked me out of the denial was when I saw her next to a child her age. A child her age I started watching part time.
All of a sudden one day it hit me like a ton of bricks.
When I finally took her in for her assessment, the doctor looked me right in the eyes, and said " what took you so long to get here "???
She was two at the time. It really hit home when the doctor told me they would actually have to medicate her hyperactivity before they could even do the add part of her assessment. I agreed. They said to give the meds a week and then they would do her other assessment.
Day one. I sat down beside her and for the FIRST time I realized how much denial I had been in. It was like aliens had come down, taken my daughter and replaced her with another child. It was light switch awesomeness.
Day two. I cried. I cried because for six months I had sat in denial thinking I was protecting her from a label, a diagnosis I didn't want her to have. In the end, I had out off HER getting better to prevent the doctor from writing down abbreviations I never wanted to see associated with my child.
Day three. I realized she could have as normal of a life as possible and I swore I would never protect her to the point that not wanting an abbreviation meant she couldn't live her life to the fullest.
8 years later and my ONLY regret was living in denial.
What finally struck a chord with me and knocked me out of the denial was when I saw her next to a child her age. A child her age I started watching part time.
All of a sudden one day it hit me like a ton of bricks.
When I finally took her in for her assessment, the doctor looked me right in the eyes, and said " what took you so long to get here "???
She was two at the time. It really hit home when the doctor told me they would actually have to medicate her hyperactivity before they could even do the add part of her assessment. I agreed. They said to give the meds a week and then they would do her other assessment.
Day one. I sat down beside her and for the FIRST time I realized how much denial I had been in. It was like aliens had come down, taken my daughter and replaced her with another child. It was light switch awesomeness.
Day two. I cried. I cried because for six months I had sat in denial thinking I was protecting her from a label, a diagnosis I didn't want her to have. In the end, I had out off HER getting better to prevent the doctor from writing down abbreviations I never wanted to see associated with my child.
Day three. I realized she could have as normal of a life as possible and I swore I would never protect her to the point that not wanting an abbreviation meant she couldn't live her life to the fullest.
8 years later and my ONLY regret was living in denial.
Play Care 10:16 AM 06-04-2013
I agree with printing something out to show the parents, but I would also say something like "I've noticed Bobby does x, y, and z here. Does he do that at home?" (cause you know he does lol) "How do you handle it? What does the pediatrician say? I would absolutely mention it to his doctor at the next visit."
You are not diagnosing, just showing your observations and coming up with a plan.
I had to do this last week with my dc boy who is almost 3, so I know it can be tricky!
You are not diagnosing, just showing your observations and coming up with a plan.
I had to do this last week with my dc boy who is almost 3, so I know it can be tricky!
Angelsj 10:19 AM 06-04-2013
Originally Posted by youretooloud:
The little guy that I take care of is extremely social. Which is the only reason I don't think it's an autism like issue.
But, he can spend a good part of his day rocking back and forth and chanting the same sounds over and over. His only sound is "AAhhhg AAAhhg" right now, but, before it was "ooohhhh Ooooh". He can only drink from a dripless cup or he chokes to the point of it coming out his nose, and he can only eat soft strained foods like yogurt or the stuff that comes from a pouch. He doesn't ever move his tongue. Ever. He's super happy, but occasionally, if he smiles too much, even that causes him to choke. He chokes no less than 60 times a day. For no apparent reason most times.
But, he's juuuuust fine.
Poor little guy. He needs a new doctor. Sheesh.The little guy that I take care of is extremely social. Which is the only reason I don't think it's an autism like issue.
But, he can spend a good part of his day rocking back and forth and chanting the same sounds over and over. His only sound is "AAhhhg AAAhhg" right now, but, before it was "ooohhhh Ooooh". He can only drink from a dripless cup or he chokes to the point of it coming out his nose, and he can only eat soft strained foods like yogurt or the stuff that comes from a pouch. He doesn't ever move his tongue. Ever. He's super happy, but occasionally, if he smiles too much, even that causes him to choke. He chokes no less than 60 times a day. For no apparent reason most times.
But, he's juuuuust fine.
MissAnn 10:21 AM 06-04-2013
Originally Posted by msmegan:
I care for a dcb that is 2.5 years old. He fits every category of having autism spectrum disorder. I don't know how to address my concerns with the parents. I want ro ensure he receives interventions and resources should this truly be the right diagnosis. I have to beleive that the parents have aome awareness of his developmental delays and such but on he same hand they seem a bit in denial. Any advice on how to approach parents without making them feel defensive? Or should I just wait and let them figure it out? Any afvice is appreciated! Thanks!
I thought that once and the boy ended up being fine. I had to eat my words....I care for a dcb that is 2.5 years old. He fits every category of having autism spectrum disorder. I don't know how to address my concerns with the parents. I want ro ensure he receives interventions and resources should this truly be the right diagnosis. I have to beleive that the parents have aome awareness of his developmental delays and such but on he same hand they seem a bit in denial. Any advice on how to approach parents without making them feel defensive? Or should I just wait and let them figure it out? Any afvice is appreciated! Thanks!
AmyKidsCo 12:07 PM 06-04-2013
I would ask a lot of questions... Did you notice he (something you're concerned about), does he do that at home? Does he ever (something average children do at his age) for you? I noticed that ___________ - have you ever noticed that?