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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>I Am SO Regretting My Decision.....
marniewon 10:05 AM 02-01-2011
to extend the trial period of this 3mo screamer who will NOT sleep here. He also screams if you look away from him (literally, I can be looking at him and he will be laughing/smiling and the minute I look away he screams), walk away from him, put him down for anything/anywhere for more than a few minutes, etc. I sent home a note last week about this issue (non napping) and offered to extend the trial period if the parents were willing to work with him on him sleeping in his crib. Well, yesterday, dcm says they were on the go all weekend so he slept in his carseat. Then tells me that dad put him to sleep in his bouncy chair that morning (instead of the crib). He screamed for 3 out of the 4 hours he was here yesterday. Today he made it 10 minutes before screaming. I have no idea what's wrong with him, he didn't want to eat, didn't want to be rocked, and just screams when I lay him down in pnp. I'm tearing my hair out now and wish I had just let him go last week. This is really disrupting everything. I no longer get a break in the afternoon, my awesome sleeper gets woken up early, I can't get any work done, and I can't do school with my own kids. Next week I start 2 more kids and I sure hope they sleep like the dead, otherwise no one will be napping!!
I know this is affecting my health, my bp rises, my stomach starts to get upset (especially if I don't get a chance to eat until he gets here. I wonder if there's ever been a study done about how eating while stressed causes stomach upset?). I need to be done with him, but since I extended my trial period for them, I guess I have another week with him, beyond this week
.
I guess this turned into more of a vent. And an update. Thanks for listening.
I know this is affecting my health, my bp rises, my stomach starts to get upset (especially if I don't get a chance to eat until he gets here. I wonder if there's ever been a study done about how eating while stressed causes stomach upset?). I need to be done with him, but since I extended my trial period for them, I guess I have another week with him, beyond this week
.I guess this turned into more of a vent. And an update. Thanks for listening.
cillybean83 10:10 AM 02-01-2011
i'm sorry you're dealing with this! I have a really thick skin for screaming babies, if they are fed, changed, otherwise cared for, and just don't want to sleep because they don't like the way they're put to bed (i.e. not rocked, not constantly held) then i'm all about letting little one cry it out, and it doesn't affect me in the sense that I don't get nervous, bp doesn't rise, etc.
if it were me, he would be put in the pnp in a room where it was quiet with not other kids to distract him, close the door except for a crack, and let him try to put himself to sleep for a good 20 minutes, he will eventually tire out...go about your day, do what you have to do....you know he's safe in his pnp, you know he's breathing because he's crying, you know that belly is full and that diaper is empty, he just doesn't want to sleep where he's been put, and that's ok, he'll get used to it if you're consistant with him and if mom and dad still aren't doing it at home, term him after the extended trial
if it were me, he would be put in the pnp in a room where it was quiet with not other kids to distract him, close the door except for a crack, and let him try to put himself to sleep for a good 20 minutes, he will eventually tire out...go about your day, do what you have to do....you know he's safe in his pnp, you know he's breathing because he's crying, you know that belly is full and that diaper is empty, he just doesn't want to sleep where he's been put, and that's ok, he'll get used to it if you're consistant with him and if mom and dad still aren't doing it at home, term him after the extended trial
SandeeAR 10:12 AM 02-01-2011
Originally Posted by cillybean83:
i'm sorry you're dealing with this! I have a really thick skin for screaming babies, if they are fed, changed, otherwise cared for, and just don't want to sleep because they don't like the way they're put to bed (i.e. not rocked, not constantly held) then i'm all about letting little one cry it out, and it doesn't affect me in the sense that I don't get nervous, bp doesn't rise, etc.
if it were me, he would be put in the pnp in a room where it was quiet with not other kids to distract him, close the door except for a crack, and let him try to put himself to sleep for a good 20 minutes, he will eventually tire out...go about your day, do what you have to do....you know he's safe in his pnp, you know he's breathing because he's crying, you know that belly is full and that diaper is empty, he just doesn't want to sleep where he's been put, and that's ok, he'll get used to it if you're consistant with him and if mom and dad still aren't doing it at home, term him after the extended trial
i'm sorry you're dealing with this! I have a really thick skin for screaming babies, if they are fed, changed, otherwise cared for, and just don't want to sleep because they don't like the way they're put to bed (i.e. not rocked, not constantly held) then i'm all about letting little one cry it out, and it doesn't affect me in the sense that I don't get nervous, bp doesn't rise, etc.
if it were me, he would be put in the pnp in a room where it was quiet with not other kids to distract him, close the door except for a crack, and let him try to put himself to sleep for a good 20 minutes, he will eventually tire out...go about your day, do what you have to do....you know he's safe in his pnp, you know he's breathing because he's crying, you know that belly is full and that diaper is empty, he just doesn't want to sleep where he's been put, and that's ok, he'll get used to it if you're consistant with him and if mom and dad still aren't doing it at home, term him after the extended trial
I agree 100%. I had one trained to sleep here, waaaaayyyyy before Mom got tired of baby not sleeping at home. She finally started letting the baby CIO and found out baby would sleep at home too!
marniewon 10:20 AM 02-01-2011
Unfortunately I don't have anywhere else to put him. My house sucks for daycare! Right now he's in the living room because I want space between him and my napper. There is literally nowhere else to put him, unless I want to put him out in the entryway with the dog - but it's colder out there, so I really can't.
When we move, my new house will be so much better set up for daycare and screaming babies (if I decide to even take children under 1). The bedrooms and playroom with be on one end of the house and the living room will be at the other end. It's not a huge house, in fact it's smaller than this one, but the layout will work so much better, and there will be at least one door and 4 rooms between me and any screamer
.
Thanks for the ideas. I already feel better just getting it all out. It helps that he's actually not screaming right now. He's watching Rachel Ray.....lol.
When we move, my new house will be so much better set up for daycare and screaming babies (if I decide to even take children under 1). The bedrooms and playroom with be on one end of the house and the living room will be at the other end. It's not a huge house, in fact it's smaller than this one, but the layout will work so much better, and there will be at least one door and 4 rooms between me and any screamer
.Thanks for the ideas. I already feel better just getting it all out. It helps that he's actually not screaming right now. He's watching Rachel Ray.....lol.
jojosmommy 10:35 AM 02-01-2011
Turn your ipod up and ignore it. Thats the only way I can tune out a screamer and once I know all their needs have been met I let them CIO. I hear you on the stress inducing part though!
kendallina 10:39 AM 02-01-2011
Honestly, it sounds like they are NOT holding up their end of the bargain. They agreed to work with him at home about sleeping in his crib and yet they are not doing it? I would term today. It is affecting your health and must be affecting the quality of care he is getting. I think you are well within your rights to term effective today.
Sunny Day 10:40 AM 02-01-2011
Originally Posted by kendallina:
Honestly, it sounds like they are NOT holding up their end of the bargain. They agreed to work with him at home about sleeping in his crib and yet they are not doing it? I would term today. It is affecting your health and must be affecting the quality of care he is getting. I think you are well within your rights to term effective today.
Totally agree! I am more than willing to put in my time, energy and effort to solve problems with my dck (often at the expense of my sanity/health!), but ONLY if the parents are working with me. I'm not solving people's problems for them! NO WAY! I would term.Honestly, it sounds like they are NOT holding up their end of the bargain. They agreed to work with him at home about sleeping in his crib and yet they are not doing it? I would term today. It is affecting your health and must be affecting the quality of care he is getting. I think you are well within your rights to term effective today.
Mrs.Ky 10:44 AM 02-01-2011
Originally Posted by kendallina:
Honestly, it sounds like they are NOT holding up their end of the bargain. They agreed to work with him at home about sleeping in his crib and yet they are not doing it? I would term today. It is affecting your health and must be affecting the quality of care he is getting. I think you are well within your rights to term effective today.
I agree they arent helping on their end so why should you keep up with your end term today or Friday I would ot to extended week next week.Honestly, it sounds like they are NOT holding up their end of the bargain. They agreed to work with him at home about sleeping in his crib and yet they are not doing it? I would term today. It is affecting your health and must be affecting the quality of care he is getting. I think you are well within your rights to term effective today.
katie 11:05 AM 02-01-2011
8 days left with my screamer. 8! I gave 3 almost 4 weeks notice. Couldn't take that and many other things, but 8! Don't extend it if you can't get anything else done. Not worth it!
marniewon 11:12 AM 02-01-2011
Originally Posted by kendallina:
Honestly, it sounds like they are NOT holding up their end of the bargain. They agreed to work with him at home about sleeping in his crib and yet they are not doing it? I would term today. It is affecting your health and must be affecting the quality of care he is getting. I think you are well within your rights to term effective today.
Mom said that she's gotten him to sleep in his crib a few times now, but I know those are just words. Words are simple. I will ask her at pick up how it's going at home. See if she gives me any other hints that they aren't BOTH working toward this goal.Honestly, it sounds like they are NOT holding up their end of the bargain. They agreed to work with him at home about sleeping in his crib and yet they are not doing it? I would term today. It is affecting your health and must be affecting the quality of care he is getting. I think you are well within your rights to term effective today.
broncomom1973 11:40 AM 02-01-2011
I sooooo can relate and I sooooo empathize with you. I went through this with a little guy last October through February. It was a bad situation because I used to work with his mom, but it got to the point where I just told her that it wasnt fair to him or to the other children that he was "screaming" the majority of the day. Obviously, I wasnt meeting his needs (although he was fed, changed etc.) since he screamed all day and the other children in my care were suffering from the screaming. He was just like you describe- as long as I was looking at him, he was happy and would smile, but if he wasnt getting 100% attention, then whoa, watch out. And, I like you, do know that my BP would rise and I was getting heart palpitations. After he left and the pg mom whose baby I had agreed to take earlier in the fall changed her mind and took her baby to her work with her, I sold all baby items so that I would never, ever have a brain fart and accept another baby. I do much better with kids who are over 12 mos. Right now I ony have 2yrs+ and I really enjoy it.
kendallina 11:42 AM 02-01-2011
Originally Posted by marniewon:
Mom said that she's gotten him to sleep in his crib a few times now, but I know those are just words. Words are simple. I will ask her at pick up how it's going at home. See if she gives me any other hints that they aren't BOTH working toward this goal.
Ugh, yeh, it seems like they are not both working on this and if they want a daycare provider who can hold their LO all day long then they need to get a nanny. Hang in there...it won't be too much longer!Mom said that she's gotten him to sleep in his crib a few times now, but I know those are just words. Words are simple. I will ask her at pick up how it's going at home. See if she gives me any other hints that they aren't BOTH working toward this goal.
Childminder 11:46 AM 02-01-2011
Children do not die from crying. Put the child in another room, shut the door and let him/her cry it out. He'll be fine, you'll be sane, and it will probably take 3-4 days to train him.
KEG123 03:52 PM 02-01-2011
Poor baby. He sounds like he needs a nanny, aka one on one time. Do they have family, grandparents that can watch him instead?
momatheart 05:24 PM 02-01-2011
turn on the vaccuum and vacuum in the room he is in and dont' shut it off. Grab a cup of coffee or a pop and go to the bathroom and sit for 10 min or however long he crys.
Turn on the computer and turn up your volume if the computer is in the room with this child. http://www.whitenoiseplayer.com/
Turn on the computer and turn up your volume if the computer is in the room with this child. http://www.whitenoiseplayer.com/
Greenshadow 05:57 PM 02-01-2011
I have a little boy like this right now too. Drives me crazy too. Ive come to the realization that I can only do with him what I can do. So I make sure he is fed and has a clean diaper and when he plays, everything is fine. When he starts screaming because of whatever reason, off he goes into the other room in his pnp until he either calms down or goes to sleep (20 min increments). Its working so far. I have some sanity because the other way wasnt working one bit. Everytime I'd turn around to leave (I didnt have to actually leave), he'd scream. If I walked away, forget it! The world is coming to an end. If the dog barks, he gets anxious because he knows the dog barks when someone is here and he thinks it might be his parent so he screams. He screams everytime he cant see me. He screams if I make eye contact with him because I think he reminds him that he wants me to hold him or something. He screams all day long. The other day he screamed for three hours straight, non stop. Not even on/off again, constant! I finally put him in the pnp in the other room and he calmed down. Its wierd. He isnt tired when he does it, or hungry. We just dont mesh I guess. It really disrupts the other kids and our schedule and it makes everyone tense and upset. The 2-3 year olds bicker more because I think its just frustrating to have to listen to him all day. I am terming him in a couple of weeks. I cant take it anymore. Im giving the parents notice probably next Monday. We've needed the money. Thats why I kept him as long as Ive had him. But I cant take it anymore. I dont look forward to watching him at all anymore. Its time for him to move on.