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Unregistered 12:12 PM 09-24-2019
I have a 4yo who is always telling other kids what toys they can and can’t play with. She will tell them “you can’t play with that because it’s mine”. This occurs even when she is not using said toy. When she is playing in a group, she will tell others what to say and do. “Sally, you need to say_______”. If Sally doesn’t say what DCG wants her to, DCG gets upset and says “No Sally, I told you you need to say ________”.
At what age is does the “mine” phase stop. IMO She seems a bit old to still be in this phase of thinking. I’m thinking her telling other kids how to play is a matter of her always wanting to be the one in control?

Some background:
She is a child who I can tell runs the show at home. When mom comes to for pickup, DCG usually is able to wear mom down to stay longer to play. Mom agrees to five more minutes which turns in to twenty minutes.
I am giving her younger brother some cough meds today. At drop off mom mentioned she also brought cough meds for DCG if she “needs some” to which DCG immediately starts fake coughing. As soon as she started doing that, mom said “oh, you are fine”. I could tell DCG does not need cough meds, but is probably feeling left out and wanting the attention too.
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coloradoprovider 12:34 PM 09-24-2019
When a child gets possessive about toys, I remind children that all the toys are mine and I allow them to play with them. This child needs to learn basic social skills. You need to model and guide. When mom comes, YOU decide if child can play while mom and you chat. If we're outside, it's nice for me to chat with parents for awhile - if I have to hang out by the door while child decides when she/he wants to leave, a firm, "no, it's time to go, I have to get back to work."
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Ariana 12:55 PM 09-24-2019
Originally Posted by coloradoprovider:
When a child gets possessive about toys, I remind children that all the toys are mine and I allow them to play with them. This child needs to learn basic social skills. You need to model and guide. When mom comes, YOU decide if child can play while mom and you chat. If we're outside, it's nice for me to chat with parents for awhile - if I have to hang out by the door while child decides when she/he wants to leave, a firm, "no, it's time to go, I have to get back to work."
All of this!! Reminding kids that you are the owner of the toys is what I do.
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Blackcat31 02:17 PM 09-24-2019
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I have a 4yo who is always telling other kids what toys they can and can’t play with. She will tell them “you can’t play with that because it’s mine”. This occurs even when she is not using said toy. When she is playing in a group, she will tell others what to say and do. “Sally, you need to say_______”. If Sally doesn’t say what DCG wants her to, DCG gets upset and says “No Sally, I told you you need to say ________”.
At what age is does the “mine” phase stop. IMO She seems a bit old to still be in this phase of thinking. I’m thinking her telling other kids how to play is a matter of her always wanting to be the one in control?

Some background:
She is a child who I can tell runs the show at home. When mom comes to for pickup, DCG usually is able to wear mom down to stay longer to play. Mom agrees to five more minutes which turns in to twenty minutes.
I am giving her younger brother some cough meds today. At drop off mom mentioned she also brought cough meds for DCG if she “needs some” to which DCG immediately starts fake coughing. As soon as she started doing that, mom said “oh, you are fine”. I could tell DCG does not need cough meds, but is probably feeling left out and wanting the attention too.
I have a question...why do YOU allow them to stay?
Once a parent arrives to pick up, they must take their child and go. If she tries to let her child play longer say "Sorry but mommy is here to pick you up. It's time to go. Bye!"

Tell mom licensing and/or insurance doesn't allow for her to stay and play...they can go to the park and play.

Also I'd be a bit nervous giving cough medicine to kids.
Plus any child needing medication isn't allowed to attend care here. But curious as didn't they take all cough syrup/meds off the market for kids under 6 yrs of age a while ago?

NOT harping on, just looking out for you...
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knoxmomof2 02:50 PM 09-24-2019
I don't let any of my DCKs tell another child what to do. I am the boss, not them. Any time I have a DCK who tries this (and they all do at some point), I say "no thank you. You're not in charge of them, I am."

I find that the older kids like to "gang up" on the younger kids and try this in spurts. I just shut it down. In a situation where there's a rule established, I also remind them of the rule. So if they're trying to hoard toys, I remind them that if they aren't playing with it, someone else can have a turn....after I remind them that I am in charge and they don't tell others what to do.
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springv 08:40 PM 09-25-2019
Our school agers are TERRIBLE about tattling on each other and telling about what someone done when clearly it isn't none of their business
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Tags:hoarding, possessive, toy - hoarder
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