I am going to give the mom of my dcb3 a plan of action today for his aggressive behavior. I have the actual plan written up (thanks so much EntropyControlSpecialist!) but I am wondering if I should attach a cover letter?

My main reason for thinking I need to explain myself more than just w/ the plan is because mom totally denies that there is a problem at all, and if there is it is our fault. Every time it is an excuse- he is having "allergies", he is tired, he was with his older cousins, this weekend, he has an ear infection, he just wants to play and the other kids must be leaving him out (they do not do this), he doesn't ever do it anywhere else (I have seen him get physical w/ his mom on NUMEROUS occasions at p/u, but when I point it out she just says I mis-saw it), etc, etc.

Today the big instances where:

Punching w/ fist to the chest of dcb4.75 at circletime when dcb wanted me to listen to him and dbc4.75 was already talking to me.

Hitting dcb4.25 over head w/ crayon container (hard) while coloring- dcb had just showed me his paper and dcb4.25 wanted me to look at his.

Hitting and screaming at new, very timid, dcg4.25 when she saved his cup from falling off the table at lunchtime (acted like he thought she was trying to steal it).

Hit dcb5 over head w/ book when walking past him- no idea why, dcb5 was just sitting nicely reading.

He also threw himself into people, walls, and onto the floor when told he would have to sit by himself away from group (reading or coloring) because he would not keep his hands/feet off whoever was closest. When he got to the other room he threw himself onto the floor narrowly missing a toy barn, looked at the barn, picked himself up and moved closer then threw himself back down hitting the barn w/ his head (totally had to be on purpose).

SO- should i detail out these instances in a cover letter attached to the action plan? Should I just tell her that we cannot have aggression here, no matter what the cause is?

Thanks for any advice!

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