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  #1  
Old 01-14-2013, 07:05 AM
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Default Refusing To Provide Care For Non-Payment

Have any of you ever had to do this? Refusing to further provide child care because of non-payment? I had to turn a child around this morning because I haven't received payment from a family...And I feel like crap about it.

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Old 01-14-2013, 07:10 AM
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I've never had to do it.....yet. But I imagine that i wil feel the same way when I do. That being said, I know, you know, and everybody else on here knows that you did the right thing! You stood up for yourself and your business and that's something to feel good about
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Old 01-14-2013, 07:18 AM
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I've never had to do it.....yet. But I imagine that i wil feel the same way when I do. That being said, I know, you know, and everybody else on here knows that you did the right thing! You stood up for yourself and your business and that's something to feel good about
Thank you and I should feel good. I just think it sucks that I had to turn them away while the child was right there.

I would have been willing to work with DCM but she doesn't communicate PLUS I felt like she was genuinely trying to get over. Friday I asked for payment and she gives me this story about how she was fined $600 at court and didn't have it. When she left her court date earlier that day, the first thing she should have done was at least call me to give me a heads up. Then she goes on to say I told her she could pay when she felt like it. I had to pull out copies of the signature page of the contract to counter that ridiculous claim.

Then she calls me Saturday to debate about me refusing care until I receive payment. I was even willing to accept a "goodwill" payment of half, or at least give me some form of payment. I told her to work something out and call me back. She didn't call me back but showed up at my doorstep.

I felt completely disrespected.
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Old 01-14-2013, 07:24 AM
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I haven't turned anyone away yet, but I have flat out termed one family for complete disregard of my payment policies.....perpetually late with payments and multiple bounced checks (at one point I had three out at one time which was a span of 6 weeks care).....all while they were going out to eat every night, taking vacations, mom was getting her tan on and hair, nails done regularly and the giant kicker was the kiddo came in bragging about the *two* new bitty puppies they had to travel states away to get over the weekend. When I confronted mom about it she told me their dog had run away, as if that was some sort of reasonable excuse that they bought two new "designer" puppies over paying me what they owed me.

I told her right then to return he had to be paid up in full. Dad brought cash the next day and right after they left I fired off the term letter.

I lied because I knew otherwise I would never see my money, ever. Mom emailed me flat out telling me she NEVER would have paid me had she known I was going to end care with their family, as if she didn't owe me a dime for the nearly 2 months care I had already provided

I definitely didn't want to have to go to court, especially because I knew full well they had the money to pay me if they finally made it a priority.

It was awful, but completely necessary.



It would be one thing if money was genuinely tight, but most parents I think just stink at managing their finances lately. I hear those horror stories are by far the most prevalent in the daycare provider world.

I'm so glad I've only ever had trouble with the one so far.....
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Old 01-14-2013, 07:27 AM
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Thank you and I should feel good. I just think it sucks that I had to turn them away while the child was right there.

I would have been willing to work with DCM but she doesn't communicate PLUS I felt like she was genuinely trying to get over. Friday I asked for payment and she gives me this story about how she was fined $600 at court and didn't have it. When she left her court date earlier that day, the first thing she should have done was at least call me to give me a heads up. Then she goes on to say I told her she could pay when she felt like it. I had to pull out copies of the signature page of the contract to counter that ridiculous claim.

Then she calls me Saturday to debate about me refusing care until I receive payment. I was even willing to accept a "goodwill" payment of half, or at least give me some form of payment. I told her to work something out and call me back. She didn't call me back but showed up at my doorstep.

I felt completely disrespected.



Understandable.
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Old 01-14-2013, 07:48 AM
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I admit there have been times over the years I have worked with parents when it comes to payments but ONLY if I have a good relationship with them and ONLY if I know that child care payments are a priority for them and that they are being truthful....as we all know money issues happen sometimes.

However, in this particular case, this mom was absolutley disresepctful to you as she KNEW you said "NO-pay NO-stay" and then STILL showed up anyways?!?!

To me, that says, "I really don't take anything you say seriously and if I show up, you will be FORCED to take my child." How utterly rude and disrespectful.

Did she think you would take one look at her child and feel so sad that you would cave....not that you dodn't feel horrible....just that she EXPECTED you to!! I am sorry, but that is pretty ballsy if you ask me.

I think that by turning her away for no payment, you taught her a valuable lesson. I think you definitely did the right thing.
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Old 01-14-2013, 07:49 AM
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I haven't turned anyone away yet, but I have flat out termed one family for complete disregard of my payment policies.....perpetually late with payments and multiple bounced checks (at one point I had three out at one time which was a span of 6 weeks care).....all while they were going out to eat every night, taking vacations, mom was getting her tan on and hair, nails done regularly and the giant kicker was the kiddo came in bragging about the *two* new bitty puppies they had to travel states away to get over the weekend. When I confronted mom about it she told me their dog had run away, as if that was some sort of reasonable excuse that they bought two new "designer" puppies over paying me what they owed me.

I told her right then to return he had to be paid up in full. Dad brought cash the next day and right after they left I fired off the term letter.

I lied because I knew otherwise I would never see my money, ever. Mom emailed me flat out telling me she NEVER would have paid me had she known I was going to end care with their family, as if she didn't owe me a dime for the nearly 2 months care I had already provided

I definitely didn't want to have to go to court, especially because I knew full well they had the money to pay me if they finally made it a priority.

It was awful, but completely necessary.



It would be one thing if money was genuinely tight, but most parents I think just stink at managing their finances lately. I hear those horror stories are by far the most prevalent in the daycare provider world.

I'm so glad I've only ever had trouble with the one so far.....
@ the bolded I can understand as well. But when she brags about the high end things she purchases for her daughter that shows me that she is capable of paying her daycare bill.
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Old 01-14-2013, 08:00 AM
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I admit there have been times over the years I have worked with parents when it comes to payments but ONLY if I have a good relationship with them and ONLY if I know that child care payments are a priority for them and that they are being truthful....as we all know money issues happen sometimes.

However, in this particular case, this mom was absolutley disresepctful to you as she KNEW you said "NO-pay NO-stay" and then STILL showed up anyways?!?!

To me, that says, "I really don't take anything you say seriously and if I show up, you will be FORCED to take my child." How utterly rude and disrespectful.

Did she think you would take one look at her child and feel so sad that you would cave....not that you dodn't feel horrible....just that she EXPECTED you to!! I am sorry, but that is pretty ballsy if you ask me.

I think that by turning her away for no payment, you taught her a valuable lesson. I think you definitely did the right thing.
This is the exact message she is sending to me. Like she is saying "Forget payment I HAVE to go to work. Work is more important, she can wait for payment"

My parents know I have a soft spot for children but I had to remind her that at the end of the day I have to protect my income and provide for my family. She understood when I asked her how would she feel if she worked two weeks and her employer advised her she would not be getting paid on payday.
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Old 01-14-2013, 08:55 AM
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Daycare is no different than cable or telephone: You get billed regardless of how much you use it and if you don't pay, you get shut off.

Keep your head up!! You had backbone enough to say "No!". Good for you!!
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  #10  
Old 01-14-2013, 09:11 AM
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I haven't had to turn anyone away, but I have sent out an email once over the weekend telling them that their child could not attend the following Monday if I did not recieve their weekely rate plus all late charges. I think you did the right thing!!
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Old 01-14-2013, 10:46 AM
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I haven't had to turn anyone away, but I have sent out an email once over the weekend telling them that their child could not attend the following Monday if I did not recieve their weekely rate plus all late charges. I think you did the right thing!!
yes, ive done this too.. and they had the sense not to come that next monday LOL.. im sorry your parent tried you on this rule and you had to turn them away at the door, i would hate to have to do that, but it had to be done...
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Old 01-14-2013, 11:24 AM
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Thank you ladies so much for the reassurance.
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Old 01-14-2013, 12:09 PM
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I admit there have been times over the years I have worked with parents when it comes to payments but ONLY if I have a good relationship with them and ONLY if I know that child care payments are a priority for them and that they are being truthful....as we all know money issues happen sometimes.

However, in this particular case, this mom was absolutley disresepctful to you as she KNEW you said "NO-pay NO-stay" and then STILL showed up anyways?!?!

To me, that says, "I really don't take anything you say seriously and if I show up, you will be FORCED to take my child." How utterly rude and disrespectful.

Did she think you would take one look at her child and feel so sad that you would cave....not that you dodn't feel horrible....just that she EXPECTED you to!! I am sorry, but that is pretty ballsy if you ask me.

I think that by turning her away for no payment, you taught her a valuable lesson. I think you definitely did the right thing.
I agree - I've never had to turn anyone away for non payment and I have provided a day here or there before money was given. Mostly because I had *great* long term relationships with these clients and knew I would get paid. I would have no problems turning away someone in the situation you described. In fact, I'd probably be livid with THEM for putting me in that position to begin with.
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  #14  
Old 01-14-2013, 12:25 PM
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Ive done it once and it was awful. I ended up terming them after they failed to pay again that week. I learned my lesson on that one
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Old 01-14-2013, 12:34 PM
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Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
I admit there have been times over the years I have worked with parents when it comes to payments but ONLY if I have a good relationship with them and ONLY if I know that child care payments are a priority for them and that they are being truthful....as we all know money issues happen sometimes.

However, in this particular case, this mom was absolutley disresepctful to you as she KNEW you said "NO-pay NO-stay" and then STILL showed up anyways?!?!

To me, that says, "I really don't take anything you say seriously and if I show up, you will be FORCED to take my child." How utterly rude and disrespectful.

Did she think you would take one look at her child and feel so sad that you would cave....not that you dodn't feel horrible....just that she EXPECTED you to!! I am sorry, but that is pretty ballsy if you ask me.

I think that by turning her away for no payment, you taught her a valuable lesson. I think you definitely did the right thing.
Couldn't have said it better. I've never had to pull a "no pay - no stay" on any one but my dc parents have never treated me with such disrespect, either. You told her what was going to happen if she didn't pay you. She called your bluff and is learning the consequences. As Blackcat said, you taught her a valuable lesson.
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Old 01-14-2013, 12:46 PM
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I have never had to do it, but would! I could not let a bill start racking up. She may not have had the money, but it was her choice not to work it out with you. Hang in there.....
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Old 01-14-2013, 01:04 PM
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So do you think they'll be back?

I used to have a family that paid monthly. I just could not afford for them to be late. One Monday I told her no pay - no stay but she paid right then and there. I have never actually had to turn someone away.
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Old 01-14-2013, 01:18 PM
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She just called me 30 minutes ago saying she'll have payment when she's off work. She had to ask for an advance from her boss. I haven't received an apology as she was talking kind of fast and was on a company line. I'll have to have a nice chat with her this evening, though.

I'll let you ladies know how it goes.
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Old 01-14-2013, 01:54 PM
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She just called me 30 minutes ago saying she'll have payment when she's off work. She had to ask for an advance from her boss. I haven't received an apology as she was talking kind of fast and was on a company line. I'll have to have a nice chat with her this evening, though.

I'll let you ladies know how it goes.
Glad she figured out a solution. She tried "negotiating" with you because she thought she could.....now she knows better!

Good job!!!!
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Old 01-14-2013, 05:38 PM
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Glad she figured out a solution. She tried "negotiating" with you because she thought she could.....now she knows better!

Good job!!!!
Well guys she just left and paid me for the past two weeks plus this week. I had to have a long heart to heart with her to let her know where I stood and how we should better communicate.

Even though it lead to this, I think our relationship will be much better going foward. My gut is usually right, I hope it isn't wrong this time.

This was so hard but so worth it in the end. 1 problem parent down, 1 more to go.
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Old 01-14-2013, 06:42 PM
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I had to turn a dcm with dcg away at the door and handed her my term letter while I did. I felt like complete crap because I thought due to our previous phone conversation about late payments, and told her point blank that if she didn't pay me to not drop off on Monday. I didn't hear from her all weekend and assumed that I wouldn't be seeing her again. She tries to drop off on Monday and doesn't have payment!! I was sooo shocked! Her daughter is trying to come in the door and I have to tell her to wait and that I need to talk with her mom. It was terrible and mom was MAD. She said, "Wow, really, well I can go and get it." Sorry, at this point I can no longer continue to provide care. I cannot continue to have a client that I have to worry about payments. My policies are clear on this point. Just sad that dcg had to come up expecting to go to dc.
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Old 01-16-2013, 06:26 AM
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@Providerandmomof4, I know you were LIVID and hurt at the same time

I don't think it'll work out with this parent. Even though we had a talk the other night, mom had the nerve to say some off the wall things last night at pick up. I gave her an extra copy of my contract/policies but this time I highlighted the information regarding pickup because yesterday morning she calls me asking me how my rates were determined (mind you at the initial 3 HOUR interview we spent time talking about rates; the first thing we cover on my contract) then attempted to have another debate with me about what part time care is considered to be.

When I gave her my contract, she commences to say "It's a shame my daughter had to miss school Monday" so I reply "It surely is". I had to briefly remind her that she has another copy of the contract so she should read it thoroughy so that this mishap doesn't happen in the future. We should be able to properly maintain our business relationship.

She then says "Well it's not business-like when you left my child outside and not allowing her to attend school that day"

I countered "It's my business and my policy. Maybe you should acknowledge the irresponsibility on your part" and left it at that.

This is not how business is suppose to be done. I already see that when I enforce my rules, this is the type of backlash I expect. I really want to term this lady. I just don't know the words to put in this letter.
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Old 01-16-2013, 09:28 AM
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@Providerandmomof4, I know you were LIVID and hurt at the same time

I don't think it'll work out with this parent. Even though we had a talk the other night, mom had the nerve to say some off the wall things last night at pick up. I gave her an extra copy of my contract/policies but this time I highlighted the information regarding pickup because yesterday morning she calls me asking me how my rates were determined (mind you at the initial 3 HOUR interview we spent time talking about rates; the first thing we cover on my contract) then attempted to have another debate with me about what part time care is considered to be.

When I gave her my contract, she commences to say "It's a shame my daughter had to miss school Monday" so I reply "It surely is". I had to briefly remind her that she has another copy of the contract so she should read it thoroughy so that this mishap doesn't happen in the future. We should be able to properly maintain our business relationship.

She then says "Well it's not business-like when you left my child outside and not allowing her to attend school that day"

I countered "It's my business and my policy. Maybe you should acknowledge the irresponsibility on your part" and left it at that.

This is not how business is suppose to be done. I already see that when I enforce my rules, this is the type of backlash I expect. I really want to term this lady. I just don't know the words to put in this letter.
awww heckkkk no.. see i was just thinking this.. sometimes after you have been disrespected in such a way, there is really no going back..the only alternative is to term because you see what her idea is about you and your daycare and how dare she feel like after the fact she can still go back and forth.. SHE could have termed herself and took her child elsewhere right then and there.. why did she even come back to give you drama???
i know someone will come on soon with ideas cuz you need to term her ASAP!!!
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Old 01-16-2013, 09:35 AM
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Dear DCM

This is written notice of my intent to discontinue our child care services agreement.

At this time, I do not feel that the level of trust and respect is where it should be for us to continue doing business together.

The last day I will provide care for your child is Jan XX, 2013.

Best of luck to you in finding care that better suits your needs.

Sincerely,

Provider.


$20 says this mom knows it is alreaydy coming....she is just waiting for you to pull the trigger so she can be the injured party.

HTH
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Old 01-16-2013, 10:06 AM
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awww heckkkk no.. see i was just thinking this.. sometimes after you have been disrespected in such a way, there is really no going back..the only alternative is to term because you see what her idea is about you and your daycare and how dare she feel like after the fact she can still go back and forth.. SHE could have termed herself and took her child elsewhere right then and there.. why did she even come back to give you drama???
i know someone will come on soon with ideas cuz you need to term her ASAP!!!
I know, right? She could have taken that "off" day to look for another provider. At that moment in time, I almost forgot I was a provider for a slight millisecond. Then I came back to my senses.

But if I know the local providers like I know them, they will charge more, require a deposit and she wouldn't be back after the bill has been paid. My old daycare provider that's two blocks away (the one who helped me start my daycare) requires a deposit and she has to be paid in advance.
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Old 01-16-2013, 10:08 AM
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Dear DCM

This is written notice of my intent to discontinue our child care services agreement.

At this time, I do not feel that the level of trust and respect is where it should be for us to continue doing business together.

The last day I will provide care for your child is Jan XX, 2013.

Best of luck to you in finding care that better suits your needs.

Sincerely,

Provider.


$20 says this mom knows it is alreaydy coming....she is just waiting for you to pull the trigger so she can be the injured party.

HTH
This helps a GREAT deal, BlackCat.

I feel that is she is waiting for that as well. My younger parents are waaaaaaaayyyyyy more responsible than she is. She is knocking on 50. I expected our business experience to be more than this.
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Old 01-19-2013, 02:26 PM
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I wanted to give you guys an update. I have been so busy and disgusted at the same time.

So I gave her the term letter Wednesday to discontinue childcare on Friday. I could no longer take the disrespect. She looks at the letter and didn't put up a fuss but slammed my door after uttering "unprofessional b!tch. Thursday and Friday go as normal. I didn't say anything to her, vice-versa. Today she gives me a call but I let it go to voicemail.

She tells me that she's found another provider and she's is much more reasonable than I was. That she called DCFS on me and I am being investigated because I am not supposed to charge her childcare fees nor give her a quote for childcare until she receives an approval from the state child care subsidy program.

This was a state subsidy client and how I have it is I have the parents pay a portion of childcare and IF they receive an approval, all monies paid previously will be refunded minus any co-payments that apply. This is in my contract.

She's telling me that according to DCFS I can't do it.

The state subsidy will tell you upfront that it is the responsibility of the provider to collect some form of payment because there is no guarantee that the client will be approved. I didn't call her back, I just laughed it off.
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Old 01-19-2013, 03:34 PM
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Sorry she reported you but you kind of saw that coming...

You also did nothing wrong so let them come. She thinks being on assistance earns her "special" and when she didn't get it, she reported you.

Who't the dumb B now?

I feel sorry for her new provider.

Be happy she is gone and not your problem anymore and don't fret the report to CPS. It is part of the business and as long as you are doing your joba and being the best provider you can be, don't sweat it.

My licensor always reassures us that 99.9% of reports are from parents who didn't get "special".
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