Default Style Register
Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>How close do you get with your dc families?
Kindermom 04:29 AM 04-28-2015
I was just curious, and maybe it's different for everybody. How close do you get with your dc families? Do you do anything with them outside of business hours?
Reply
childcaremom 04:34 AM 04-28-2015
Short answer: not close and no.

I did before and it was fine but now, I view them as my business clients and like to keep it that way. Much easier for me to be business-like.
Reply
DaveA 05:11 AM 04-28-2015
I don't get close & I NEVER mix business with personal anymore. Most of them are nice people but they are clients not friends.
Reply
NightOwl 05:18 AM 04-28-2015
I should do what they ^^^^ do, but I'm too friendly. I make friends with the ones I really like and become way too attached to the children. One dcb left about two months ago and I think I was a little depressed for a couple of weeks. He was super special to me. I do NOT recommend it. You'll end up with hurt feelings and, occasionally, a broken heart.
Reply
Thriftylady 05:44 AM 04-28-2015
Nope, clients only. Anything else confuses the business relationship. I still get attached to the kids, can't help it lol.
Reply
Blackcat31 06:28 AM 04-28-2015
I have a VERY clear and separate line between my personal/private life and my business life.

Most my clients are around the same age as my children so I don't socialize with them outside of daycare. When my children were younger, there were times in which they were invited to DCK's birthday party or invited a DCK to theirs but not very often enough that it was an issue or anything that caused the business relationship to be tested or strained.

I make it VERY clear to my parents that while I am friendly by nature that they are first and foremost clients, even if they do become friends later.

I am one of the few providers that has no issue taking friends, family and/or neighbors as clients because I have that clear boundary and have no issues reminding clients it's there nor enforcing rules/policies.

My handbook states:

"Because your child's welfare is so important, my closeness and nurturing of your child can create a sense of intimacy between us that makes our relationship feel more like a friendship rather than that of business partners.

While this is ideal, well-defined boundaries are necessary and outlined within this handbook. These rules and policies are enforced regardless of the nature, status or feel of our relationship."

Reply
MsLisa 06:56 AM 04-28-2015
Only on a professional level. None of them know me outside of my classroom.

There are parents who don't generally care for me (disrespectful), who pick up their kid and go without much word. Ironically their kid usually treats me the same way. Then there are the few who do stop and talk, they fill me in on stuff and are generally "good" parents. I appreciate those. But that's about it.

Honestly, I discretely do more and am a lot nicer to the "nice parents" kids than I am for the ones that treat me like dirt.
Reply
Baby Beluga 07:13 AM 04-28-2015
Originally Posted by childcaremom:
Short answer: not close and no.

I did before and it was fine but now, I view them as my business clients and like to keep it that way. Much easier for me to be business-like.

Reply
Sunchimes 11:45 AM 04-28-2015
Way too close. I used to bond with the kids, but I was never more than business-like with parents. When the last 2 kids went off to school, it broke my heart. (The last one, mom, kid, and I stood in the hall crying the last day. Not fun.). I vowed that I would never love another deck. Then, I got this baby...

Now, I have special needs kids, and bonding with the parents is unavoidable. I am the link between the therapists and the parents. I am the one who teaches the parents what we are doing, and in some cases, I'm doing all of the therapy for the child. They tell me what they have noticed on the weekends, and I either address myself or contact the therapists for guidance. We are all on the same team.

Now, I have this micro-preemie about to embark on a custody fight. I will have to testify because I'be been there from the beginning. Again, way too close, but necessary to save this child. I'm losing sleep and having nightmares about what could happen. We discuss legal strategy.

On the positive side, we don't socialize-no parties or birthdays. I will confess to going to t-ball games and a dance recital, but they were after the child aged out.
Reply
nanglgrl 12:19 PM 04-28-2015
Approximately 3 feet give or take a couple of inches.
Reply
Crazy8 12:24 PM 04-28-2015
Originally Posted by childcaremom:
Short answer: not close and no.

I did before and it was fine but now, I view them as my business clients and like to keep it that way. Much easier for me to be business-like.

This. The line was more blurred when my own kids were the same age as my daycare kids, we'd get invited to parties, etc. but now that mine are older it is business only and I much prefer it that way!
Reply
Josiegirl 02:59 PM 04-28-2015
There are a couple that I think would be a hoot to hang out with but that's about it. They're all nice people but I'm too old for them.
Reply
jenboo 03:40 PM 04-28-2015
I was very close to a few families and all business to others.
Two families I nannied for before I opened the daycare so hubby and I were close to them. One of those families threw the best parties.... I'll just leave it at that
Reply
e.j. 05:20 PM 04-28-2015
Originally Posted by nanglgrl:
Approximately 3 feet give or take a couple of inches.
I've always tried to keep things friendly but professional. I don't generally do things with my dc families outside of day care hours not because I don't like them but because I do and want to keep it that way!
Reply
kendallina 05:24 PM 04-28-2015
I'm currently friends with about 1/2 of my preschool families (friends prior to them coming here) and we get together, etc. I have a couple of families that have friended me on facebook, which is great, they're families that I get along with well, but I don't hang out with. I have some families that we keep it friendly-professional and that works for those families.

I've never had any problems with having clients as friends (I lay a very professional groundwork with families that starts at the tour and they clearly know what to expect from me) except when it comes to discussions about wanting to get pregnant next fall, because it means I will have to close/find a sub/something and we just live in too small of a town for that talk to be swirling around. If I do get pregnant, my friends will find out when the rest of my clients do.
Reply
Meeko 11:58 AM 04-29-2015
It was a little harder when I was younger and I actually have a few very good friends that were once daycare families.

But on the whole I keep things as far apart as I can. I have 12 families (16 kids) Every single parent is easily young enough to be my own child. In fact my oldest sons are older than all my dc parents...up to 10 years older. So I have no interest in being friends with them. And I'm sure they don't want some old lady being their friend either
Reply
originalkat 12:02 PM 04-29-2015
I keep things completely separate. I am friendly and often they tell me what goes on in their own lives, but that is where it ends.
Reply
Unregistered 04:36 AM 05-02-2015
I've become very close to many and some have become lifelong friends! I'm older now and all the parents are the younger generation-the age of my grown daughters, so I don't end up doing things with them outside of cc.

Over the years some I didn't have a big connection either, some I live chatting with at the end if the day! I need social time and FCC is very isolating for me!

I had a child over a year ago that was is the daughter of one of my daughter's high school friends. I just got a FB message from her telling me E still talks about you and says she wants to come back to cc. She wanted to invite me to her wedding, and you bet I'm going!
Reply
Unregistered 05:53 PM 05-02-2015
I don't any more. It's just hello and good bye. I even tell the parents during interviews due to my obligation to the other children, I can't have long conversations at drop off or pick up. I've gotten burned too many times in the past. I noticed they all want money or some sort of discount. Like one mom got super close to me. I'll admit, I was flattered because she was the stylish "cool" mom. Here I was in my ponytail and jeans. It was an ego boost. I really felt like dog crap when she stopped texting me and talking to me when I wouldn't give her a discount. Mind you, she was the first to drop off (never late for that), but always had an excuse for picking up after closing. I also once gave a discount to a public school teacher who had twins. She kept leading me into thinking she could land me a job at her school. I can't believe all the freebies I gave her. She just left without notice. I really stopped chatting with parents when one parent refused to leave and started "tattling" on me. I say tattling because it the most mundane stuff. I have a backyard. Say a student got dirt in their shoes, she'd make a point of saying "I know Miss. Jane cleaned Jill's socks and shoes, but did she tell you Jill got dirt in them?!". I don't know if she just didn't like me or felt guilty for leaving her son here, but I told her after a while "You can't stay here with your child. You must take them with you or leave them here". Now, it's just hello, good bye, and any important issues.
Reply
mom2many 06:27 AM 05-04-2015
I was only 25 when I began my daycare & one of my first clients is still today one of my best friends... (Almost 30 years later) I have scrapbooked with several of the dcm's over the years and played in several Bunco groups with them.
It's never been an issue for me and they have all respected my rules and policies.
I believe they appreciate getting to know me on a personal level, because I am playing a very vital role in their child's life.
Reply
mom2many 06:35 AM 05-04-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
I've become very close to many and some have become lifelong friends! I'm older now and all the parents are the younger generation-the age of my grown daughters, so I don't end up doing things with them outside of cc.

Over the years some I didn't have a big connection either, some I live chatting with at the end if the day! I need social time and FCC is very isolating for me!

I had a child over a year ago that was is the daughter of one of my daughter's high school friends. I just got a FB message from her telling me E still talks about you and says she wants to come back to cc. She wanted to invite me to her wedding, and you bet I'm going!

Yes, this has been true for me as well! For some parents it was strictly business, but for others that I connected with, we did become friends!
I have been to several weddings, bridal and baby showers, birthday parties and even a funeral for former/current clients.
Reply
bklsmum 06:52 AM 05-04-2015
I would describe my relationship with most of my DCPs as business casual. We are friendly and chatty and I am more than happy to help them with parenting questions or issues but we don't really hang out. I do throw a few BBQ's a year that they get invited to as well as friends and family but it doesn't go beyond that. I get very close to some of my DCKs but it hasn't been an issue thus far.
Reply
renodeb 10:48 AM 05-05-2015
For the most part I have a business relationship with them no personal stuff. I do have two clients that I have had for a pretty long time and I have gone to a few birthday parties for there kids and it was a lot of fun. (the other family invited us but we were not able to go because of family obligations.) To be honest I don't get invited to a lot of things by the parents and I'm fine with that. Helps keep that line between provider and client.
I have one friend who went to every thing she was invited to and it was a lot. She always had a hard time keeping that professional line straight because of that.
Deb
Reply
Reply Up