Daycare.com Forum
Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Not Allowing A Child To Nap? Abuse?
DaisyMamma 06:46 AM 09-06-2013
2.5 year old.
Mom doesnt want him to nap so he sleeps good at night.
I require it.
When he was full time he didn't nap all weekend then come Monday is a miserable mess. Exhausted, crying all day.
Now he only comes MWF.
He clearly doesn't nap on Tues or Thursday either.
He is again a miserable mess on MWF. He was so unhappy today that he is already in bed. At 9am
Today is his last day so whatever I say to her doesn't really matter. She is leaving my DC because the new daycare says they will keep him up.
I think that it is down right mean to make him stay awake. Sometimes his older brother will say DCb wanted to nap yesterday but mom wouldnt let him.
Mom doesnt want him to nap so he sleeps good at night.
I require it.
When he was full time he didn't nap all weekend then come Monday is a miserable mess. Exhausted, crying all day.
Now he only comes MWF.
He clearly doesn't nap on Tues or Thursday either.
He is again a miserable mess on MWF. He was so unhappy today that he is already in bed. At 9am
Today is his last day so whatever I say to her doesn't really matter. She is leaving my DC because the new daycare says they will keep him up.
I think that it is down right mean to make him stay awake. Sometimes his older brother will say DCb wanted to nap yesterday but mom wouldnt let him.
Familycare71 06:58 AM 09-06-2013
Personally - I agree- I think it is mean... Guess it would depend on the extent if I'd call it "abuse"...
Shell 07:08 AM 09-06-2013
Poor little guy! I used to work in a center where a child in another class wasn't allowed to nap. Little guy used to scream and cry and yell out that he was tired. It was a very disruptive scene everyday and the teacher's literally had to physically hold him awake. The teachers told his mom how miserable he was, and she maintained he was not to nap
cheerfuldom 07:10 AM 09-06-2013
I think its disrespectful to who he is as a person. His mom is more worried about what is easiest and best for her than about her son being a crying sobbing mess constantly. She is either wanting him in bed really early in the evening or she is running errands and not wanting to be home for a nap time. I dont see how you can see a kid so exhausted and just keep pushing him to stay awake.
I would bet the new DC will end up letting him sleep. Just because they may not require a specific nap time doesnt mean that they will wake him up if he passes out somewhere.
I would bet the new DC will end up letting him sleep. Just because they may not require a specific nap time doesnt mean that they will wake him up if he passes out somewhere.
DaisyMamma 07:14 AM 09-06-2013
Originally Posted by mrsmichelle:
Poor little guy! I used to work in a center where a child in another class wasn't allowed to nap. Little guy used to scream and cry and yell out that he was tired. It was a very disruptive scene everyday and the teacher's literally had to physically hold him awake. The teachers told his mom how miserable he was, and she maintained he was not to nap
It's terrible! What is wrong with these parents! Poor little guy! I used to work in a center where a child in another class wasn't allowed to nap. Little guy used to scream and cry and yell out that he was tired. It was a very disruptive scene everyday and the teacher's literally had to physically hold him awake. The teachers told his mom how miserable he was, and she maintained he was not to nap In your situation I would have termed immediately. I would never physically force a child to stay awake. That is abuse!
If my DCF hadn't decided to leave on their own I would have termed just because i dont want to deal w him on the day after he didnt nap!
nanglgrl 07:15 AM 09-06-2013
I think that's just horrible and am glad you aren't giving in to that demand even though it meant losing a client. I know I've seen people post articles/studies on here about how important sleep is and how napping actually helps them sleep better at night. I can't find them from my phone but I'm sure someone can pull them up. I would print them out and give them to mom at pick up. I would say something like, "I know you want what's best for little johny so I thought I'd print these out for you. A lot of parents are misguided in thinking withholding a nap will help their child sleep better at night, and it's actually incredibly detrimental to their development".
DaisyMamma 07:17 AM 09-06-2013
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I think its disrespectful to who he is as a person. His mom is more worried about what is easiest and best for her than about her son being a crying sobbing mess constantly. She is either wanting him in bed really early in the evening or she is running errands and not wanting to be home for a nap time. I dont see how you can see a kid so exhausted and just keep pushing him to stay awake.
I would bet the new DC will end up letting him sleep. Just because they may not require a specific nap time doesnt mean that they will wake him up if he passes out somewhere.
DCM requested I not nap him. I said no. She does it on purpose. I think its disrespectful to who he is as a person. His mom is more worried about what is easiest and best for her than about her son being a crying sobbing mess constantly. She is either wanting him in bed really early in the evening or she is running errands and not wanting to be home for a nap time. I dont see how you can see a kid so exhausted and just keep pushing him to stay awake.
I would bet the new DC will end up letting him sleep. Just because they may not require a specific nap time doesnt mean that they will wake him up if he passes out somewhere.
I'm sure the new DC will be napping him by the end of next week.
coolconfidentme 07:18 AM 09-06-2013
I have a new DCB 2.5 who has never taken a nap & has always slept with mom!!! It takes all of my energy to keep him in bed during nap time. The poor kid is somewhat anti-social & whines on & off all day long. I told her yesterday she needs to enforce a nap & separation or may need to find another provider. Sad thing is, she knows it's wrong..., ARG!
Play Care 07:41 AM 09-06-2013
Originally Posted by coolconfidentme:
I have a new DCB 2.5 who has never taken a nap & has always slept with mom!!! It takes all of my energy to keep him in bed during nap time. The poor kid is somewhat anti-social & whines on & off all day long. I told her yesterday she needs to enforce a nap & separation or may need to find another provider. Sad thing is, she knows it's wrong..., ARG!
One of the reasons I let my a family go last year was over napping. They were used to sleeping in, and not napping and then going to bed early. Once mom was back to work, and they had to get up early to get to day care, it all changed. They literally sobbed and whined all.day.long. they were so tired. In my case the parents were not necessarily opposed to the nap, but also not 100% on board with then needing it "they never needed it before" (of course not they slept in until 9:00 or so each day) and "they say they are sad because they don't like quiet time" (well, then they are sad all day long because they don't seem to like anything...)I have a new DCB 2.5 who has never taken a nap & has always slept with mom!!! It takes all of my energy to keep him in bed during nap time. The poor kid is somewhat anti-social & whines on & off all day long. I told her yesterday she needs to enforce a nap & separation or may need to find another provider. Sad thing is, she knows it's wrong..., ARG!
I suggested they get a nanny and let them go. Best. move. ever.
Emsdayhome 07:52 AM 09-06-2013
not abuse...maybe not the best idea from the mother, but I wouldn't say it's abuse. My little guy went to preschool when he was 3, and I requested they keep him awake. Sometimes he'd fall asleep for 10mins, and then he was up and wired until midnight. So...I get it. but I never told them it was WRONG to let him sleep, I just suggested they give him a book or something to keep him occupied...but if he was tired, he slept. No biggie...we just had to deal with it that night.
Leigh 07:58 AM 09-06-2013
Napping is essential to these little kids! A lot of learning/brain development/emotional development happens during sleep time. It's cruel to not allow a child to nap, and even though it MAY not be abuse in the eyes of the law, it's definitely cruel.
I don't have time for parents who treat their kids this way. I would print off all sorts of information for the idiot mom that explains how she isn't treating her child properly by not allowing him to nap (it's NOT hard to find) and I would hand it to her at pickup and tell her that I hope she comes to her senses and realizes that her child needs to nap, and that it is not about convenience, but about her child's well-being.
I don't have time for parents who treat their kids this way. I would print off all sorts of information for the idiot mom that explains how she isn't treating her child properly by not allowing him to nap (it's NOT hard to find) and I would hand it to her at pickup and tell her that I hope she comes to her senses and realizes that her child needs to nap, and that it is not about convenience, but about her child's well-being.
caregiver 08:12 AM 09-06-2013
I have the same situation. I have a dcg who is 2 yrs old. Mom says to not give her a morning nap, but can put her down as early as 12:30pm for afternoon nap. Mom had just gone back to work when DCG came to my home daycare and was used to sleeping in until around 9am. now DCG has to get up at around 6am to come to my house, so she is really tired when she gets here. She is very whinny,crabby in the morning and that is because she is still tired and wants to go back to bed. She would try and fall asleep in the chair or on the floor in the playroom and I was feeling really like a mean daycare provider for trying to keep her awake when I knew this poor girl was so tired. I talked to Mom about it and said that I thought she maybe could use a very short nap after she got here since she was used to sleeping that late. Mom said no, don't put her down until the afternoon. Wow! I thought your poor daughter is so tired and that you might feel bad for her and want her to get a little bit more sleep. But No!
What is wrong with parents these days that they don't want the best for them. I do give naps and parents are told that when they start here,so it should be no issue for them. So now what I do is if I think she is tired and starts to fall asleep in the chair or floor, I do put her down for at least half an hour anyway and just don't say anything to the Mom. I just can't stand to watch this poor little girl so tired and all she wants to do is sleep a little bit more. Maybe that is wrong, but man, I feel like a mean person watching her try and stay awake and having to make her stay awake. I wouldn't make my own child stay awake when I know that they were tired. That is just mean!
What is wrong with parents these days that they don't want the best for them. I do give naps and parents are told that when they start here,so it should be no issue for them. So now what I do is if I think she is tired and starts to fall asleep in the chair or floor, I do put her down for at least half an hour anyway and just don't say anything to the Mom. I just can't stand to watch this poor little girl so tired and all she wants to do is sleep a little bit more. Maybe that is wrong, but man, I feel like a mean person watching her try and stay awake and having to make her stay awake. I wouldn't make my own child stay awake when I know that they were tired. That is just mean!
DaisyMamma 08:14 AM 09-06-2013
Originally Posted by care giver:
I have the same situation. I have a dcg who is 2 yrs old. Mom says to not give her a morning nap, but can put her down as early as 12:30pm for afternoon nap. Mom had just gone back to work when DCG came to my home daycare and was used to sleeping in until around 9am. now DCG has to get up at around 6am to come to my house, so she is really tired when she gets here. She is very whinny,crabby in the morning and that is because she is still tired and wants to go back to bed. She would try and fall asleep in the chair or on the floor in the playroom and I was feeling really like a mean daycare provider for trying to keep her awake when I knew this poor girl was so tired. I talked to Mom about it and said that I thought she maybe could use a very short nap after she got here since she was used to sleeping that late. Mom said no, don't put her down until the afternoon. Wow! I thought your poor daughter is so tired and that you might feel bad for her and want her to get a little bit more sleep. But No!
What is wrong with parents these days that they don't want the best for them. I do give naps and parents are told that when they start here,so it should be no issue for them. So now what I do is if I think she is tired and starts to fall asleep in the chair or floor, I do put her down for at least half an hour anyway and just don't say anything to the Mom. I just can't stand to watch this poor little girl so tired and all she wants to do is sleep a little bit more. Maybe that is wrong, but man, I feel like a mean person watching her try and stay awake and having to make her stay awake. I wouldn't make my own child stay awake when I know that they were tired. That is just mean!
I would do the same thing.I have the same situation. I have a dcg who is 2 yrs old. Mom says to not give her a morning nap, but can put her down as early as 12:30pm for afternoon nap. Mom had just gone back to work when DCG came to my home daycare and was used to sleeping in until around 9am. now DCG has to get up at around 6am to come to my house, so she is really tired when she gets here. She is very whinny,crabby in the morning and that is because she is still tired and wants to go back to bed. She would try and fall asleep in the chair or on the floor in the playroom and I was feeling really like a mean daycare provider for trying to keep her awake when I knew this poor girl was so tired. I talked to Mom about it and said that I thought she maybe could use a very short nap after she got here since she was used to sleeping that late. Mom said no, don't put her down until the afternoon. Wow! I thought your poor daughter is so tired and that you might feel bad for her and want her to get a little bit more sleep. But No!
What is wrong with parents these days that they don't want the best for them. I do give naps and parents are told that when they start here,so it should be no issue for them. So now what I do is if I think she is tired and starts to fall asleep in the chair or floor, I do put her down for at least half an hour anyway and just don't say anything to the Mom. I just can't stand to watch this poor little girl so tired and all she wants to do is sleep a little bit more. Maybe that is wrong, but man, I feel like a mean person watching her try and stay awake and having to make her stay awake. I wouldn't make my own child stay awake when I know that they were tired. That is just mean!
Heidi 08:59 AM 09-06-2013
Originally Posted by care giver:
I have the same situation. I have a dcg who is 2 yrs old. Mom says to not give her a morning nap, but can put her down as early as 12:30pm for afternoon nap. Mom had just gone back to work when DCG came to my home daycare and was used to sleeping in until around 9am. now DCG has to get up at around 6am to come to my house, so she is really tired when she gets here. She is very whinny,crabby in the morning and that is because she is still tired and wants to go back to bed. She would try and fall asleep in the chair or on the floor in the playroom and I was feeling really like a mean daycare provider for trying to keep her awake when I knew this poor girl was so tired. I talked to Mom about it and said that I thought she maybe could use a very short nap after she got here since she was used to sleeping that late. Mom said no, don't put her down until the afternoon. Wow! I thought your poor daughter is so tired and that you might feel bad for her and want her to get a little bit more sleep. But No!
What is wrong with parents these days that they don't want the best for them. I do give naps and parents are told that when they start here,so it should be no issue for them. So now what I do is if I think she is tired and starts to fall asleep in the chair or floor, I do put her down for at least half an hour anyway and just don't say anything to the Mom. I just can't stand to watch this poor little girl so tired and all she wants to do is sleep a little bit more. Maybe that is wrong, but man, I feel like a mean person watching her try and stay awake and having to make her stay awake. I wouldn't make my own child stay awake when I know that they were tired. That is just mean!
I would also do that. Actually, no, come to think of it, I would just do it and tell mom afterwards. Probably the next morning after finding out casually how last night went. Then I would say "oh, yeah, I forgot to mention, I did end up giving her a short nap in the morning. I know you weren't crazy about the idea, but she was so miserable, I just had to. So glad it worked out and she still did fine last night..whew!"I have the same situation. I have a dcg who is 2 yrs old. Mom says to not give her a morning nap, but can put her down as early as 12:30pm for afternoon nap. Mom had just gone back to work when DCG came to my home daycare and was used to sleeping in until around 9am. now DCG has to get up at around 6am to come to my house, so she is really tired when she gets here. She is very whinny,crabby in the morning and that is because she is still tired and wants to go back to bed. She would try and fall asleep in the chair or on the floor in the playroom and I was feeling really like a mean daycare provider for trying to keep her awake when I knew this poor girl was so tired. I talked to Mom about it and said that I thought she maybe could use a very short nap after she got here since she was used to sleeping that late. Mom said no, don't put her down until the afternoon. Wow! I thought your poor daughter is so tired and that you might feel bad for her and want her to get a little bit more sleep. But No!
What is wrong with parents these days that they don't want the best for them. I do give naps and parents are told that when they start here,so it should be no issue for them. So now what I do is if I think she is tired and starts to fall asleep in the chair or floor, I do put her down for at least half an hour anyway and just don't say anything to the Mom. I just can't stand to watch this poor little girl so tired and all she wants to do is sleep a little bit more. Maybe that is wrong, but man, I feel like a mean person watching her try and stay awake and having to make her stay awake. I wouldn't make my own child stay awake when I know that they were tired. That is just mean!
countrymom 09:17 AM 09-06-2013
thats just mean. I had a mom who didn't want her dcg to nap either. They switched to another daycare (because mom didn't want her 4 yr old with my 2 yr olds because she thought they were too young for child) and guess what, the child is required to nap and mom never questioned it.
Maria2013 09:49 AM 09-06-2013
Originally Posted by nanglgrl:
I think that's just horrible and am glad you aren't giving in to that demand even though it meant losing a client. I know I've seen people post articles/studies on here about how important sleep is and how napping actually helps them sleep better at night. I can't find them from my phone but I'm sure someone can pull them up. I would print them out and give them to mom at pick up. I would say something like, "I know you want what's best for little johny so I thought I'd print these out for you. A lot of parents are misguided in thinking withholding a nap will help their child sleep better at night, and it's actually incredibly detrimental to their development".
I think that's just horrible and am glad you aren't giving in to that demand even though it meant losing a client. I know I've seen people post articles/studies on here about how important sleep is and how napping actually helps them sleep better at night. I can't find them from my phone but I'm sure someone can pull them up. I would print them out and give them to mom at pick up. I would say something like, "I know you want what's best for little johny so I thought I'd print these out for you. A lot of parents are misguided in thinking withholding a nap will help their child sleep better at night, and it's actually incredibly detrimental to their development".
jenboo 10:58 AM 09-06-2013
I used to work in a center where a dcm wanted her 4 yr old to only nap one hour instead of two. This little dcb was up early and so tired. He was a beast to wake up and would literally stand in one spot for an hour crying because he was so mad we woke him up. I started writing on his daily paper that he only slept one hour....I couldn't see him so miserable anymore.
Well, one day a teacher forgot to put that he only slept one hour. The next morning dcm came in complaining that he stayed up until midnight because of sleeping the whole two hours...
I never heard a single complaint any day where he slept two hours but I only wrote that he slept for one
I'm not convinced that a two hour nap in the middle of the day will keep a child up all night. Especially when they are so tired.
Well, one day a teacher forgot to put that he only slept one hour. The next morning dcm came in complaining that he stayed up until midnight because of sleeping the whole two hours...
I never heard a single complaint any day where he slept two hours but I only wrote that he slept for one
I'm not convinced that a two hour nap in the middle of the day will keep a child up all night. Especially when they are so tired.
Leigh 12:22 PM 09-06-2013
I'm not convinced that a two hour nap in the middle of the day will keep a child up all night. Especially when they are so tired.[/quote]
Because it WON'T keep a kid up all night. The naps actually HELP a child sleep at night. If they don't nap in the daytime when their body produces the melatonin telling the body to sleep, they'll get a "second wind" when the melatonin levels drop, and get hyper. A good napper is nearly always a good night time sleeper.
Because it WON'T keep a kid up all night. The naps actually HELP a child sleep at night. If they don't nap in the daytime when their body produces the melatonin telling the body to sleep, they'll get a "second wind" when the melatonin levels drop, and get hyper. A good napper is nearly always a good night time sleeper.
Memc2001 02:07 PM 09-06-2013
I don't know if I would call it "abuse" but maybe stick it more in the neglect column or bad judgment. Anyway, don't let her bad parenting be your problem anymore. Term ASAP.
Sunshine74 10:13 PM 09-06-2013
Originally Posted by jenboo:
I used to work in a center where a dcm wanted her 4 yr old to only nap one hour instead of two. This little dcb was up early and so tired. He was a beast to wake up and would literally stand in one spot for an hour crying because he was so mad we woke him up. I started writing on his daily paper that he only slept one hour....I couldn't see him so miserable anymore.
Well, one day a teacher forgot to put that he only slept one hour. The next morning dcm came in complaining that he stayed up until midnight because of sleeping the whole two hours...
I never heard a single complaint any day where he slept two hours but I only wrote that he slept for one
I'm not convinced that a two hour nap in the middle of the day will keep a child up all night. Especially when they are so tired.
We had a DCB just like this- only his mom wanted his nap shortened to no longer then and hour when he was under 2! But we ended up doing the same thing you did. After about a week, she stopped asking how long he slept and just assumed he only slept an hour. One time though, she made a comment about how great he was going to bed since he was only napping for an hour at daycare I used to work in a center where a dcm wanted her 4 yr old to only nap one hour instead of two. This little dcb was up early and so tired. He was a beast to wake up and would literally stand in one spot for an hour crying because he was so mad we woke him up. I started writing on his daily paper that he only slept one hour....I couldn't see him so miserable anymore.
Well, one day a teacher forgot to put that he only slept one hour. The next morning dcm came in complaining that he stayed up until midnight because of sleeping the whole two hours...
I never heard a single complaint any day where he slept two hours but I only wrote that he slept for one
I'm not convinced that a two hour nap in the middle of the day will keep a child up all night. Especially when they are so tired.
cheerfuldom 09:35 AM 09-07-2013
I just have to say....I take offense at the word "abuse" being slung to and fro against every mom who chooses to parent in a different way from others. Coming from a person that had serious REAL trauma as a child, I would love to grow up in a home where the worst thing was my mom not wanting me to nap.
I am not saying keeping this boy up the right thing to do....but is it really abuse? really? when there are children out there being beaten, starved, molested, abandoned?
come on now!
if non napping families does not work with your program, professionally let this family go and find someone willing to work around this preference. but dont go calling ABUSE! or calling family services and labeling this mom as a horrible person.
I am not saying keeping this boy up the right thing to do....but is it really abuse? really? when there are children out there being beaten, starved, molested, abandoned?
come on now!
if non napping families does not work with your program, professionally let this family go and find someone willing to work around this preference. but dont go calling ABUSE! or calling family services and labeling this mom as a horrible person.
cheerfuldom 09:35 AM 09-07-2013
Originally Posted by Memc2001:
I don't know if I would call it "abuse" but maybe stick it more in the neglect column or bad judgment. Anyway, don't let her bad parenting be your problem anymore. Term ASAP.
exactly.I don't know if I would call it "abuse" but maybe stick it more in the neglect column or bad judgment. Anyway, don't let her bad parenting be your problem anymore. Term ASAP.
Cradle2crayons 01:44 PM 09-07-2013
Originally Posted by care giver:
I have the same situation. I have a dcg who is 2 yrs old. Mom says to not give her a morning nap, but can put her down as early as 12:30pm for afternoon nap. Mom had just gone back to work when DCG came to my home daycare and was used to sleeping in until around 9am. now DCG has to get up at around 6am to come to my house, so she is really tired when she gets here. She is very whinny,crabby in the morning and that is because she is still tired and wants to go back to bed. She would try and fall asleep in the chair or on the floor in the playroom and I was feeling really like a mean daycare provider for trying to keep her awake when I knew this poor girl was so tired. I talked to Mom about it and said that I thought she maybe could use a very short nap after she got here since she was used to sleeping that late. Mom said no, don't put her down until the afternoon. Wow! I thought your poor daughter is so tired and that you might feel bad for her and want her to get a little bit more sleep. But No!
What is wrong with parents these days that they don't want the best for them. I do give naps and parents are told that when they start here,so it should be no issue for them. So now what I do is if I think she is tired and starts to fall asleep in the chair or floor, I do put her down for at least half an hour anyway and just don't say anything to the Mom. I just can't stand to watch this poor little girl so tired and all she wants to do is sleep a little bit more. Maybe that is wrong, but man, I feel like a mean person watching her try and stay awake and having to make her stay awake. I wouldn't make my own child stay awake when I know that they were tired. That is just mean!
I've had moms like this before too. This is what I do::::I have the same situation. I have a dcg who is 2 yrs old. Mom says to not give her a morning nap, but can put her down as early as 12:30pm for afternoon nap. Mom had just gone back to work when DCG came to my home daycare and was used to sleeping in until around 9am. now DCG has to get up at around 6am to come to my house, so she is really tired when she gets here. She is very whinny,crabby in the morning and that is because she is still tired and wants to go back to bed. She would try and fall asleep in the chair or on the floor in the playroom and I was feeling really like a mean daycare provider for trying to keep her awake when I knew this poor girl was so tired. I talked to Mom about it and said that I thought she maybe could use a very short nap after she got here since she was used to sleeping that late. Mom said no, don't put her down until the afternoon. Wow! I thought your poor daughter is so tired and that you might feel bad for her and want her to get a little bit more sleep. But No!
What is wrong with parents these days that they don't want the best for them. I do give naps and parents are told that when they start here,so it should be no issue for them. So now what I do is if I think she is tired and starts to fall asleep in the chair or floor, I do put her down for at least half an hour anyway and just don't say anything to the Mom. I just can't stand to watch this poor little girl so tired and all she wants to do is sleep a little bit more. Maybe that is wrong, but man, I feel like a mean person watching her try and stay awake and having to make her stay awake. I wouldn't make my own child stay awake when I know that they were tired. That is just mean!
"Mom you have two options::
(1) I can lay your child back down for a quick morning nap
Or
(2) I can call you for pick up every single day because kids can't stay if they can't participate in the activities of daycare
The moms always choose the nap
