crazydaycarelady 07:54 PM 08-22-2012
Daycares have been getting a bad rap in my town in the last few weeks. First there was a center that left a kid in the car while they were on a movie field trip. Fortunately it was in the morning before it got too hot so the child lived. Then a drop in center had a report of a sexual assault between a 10yo and a 5yo. NOW there are more articles in the newspaper about a 5yo sexually assaulting another 5yo at daycare!
Of course it does not give specific details of either incident but it gives the name of the daycares. I doubt this daycare will EVER recover from this media coverage. My friend and I were talking and this could happen to anyone of us depending on the definition of "sexual assault." I had a 5yo boy and a 4yo girl kiss each other on the lips recently. Would that count? I can see something happening between a 10yo and a 5yo but two 5yos seems like it was probably more of a curiosity thing.
JenNJ 08:02 PM 08-22-2012
Yes. A sexual assault can happen at that age. A child forcing another to do something they aren't comfortable with is assault -- pure and simple. It is not ok, it is not right and the age has nothing to do with it.
sharlan 08:18 PM 08-22-2012
I would say no, but I'm sure the powers that be will disagree with me.
What we considered "playing doctor" 40 or 50 years ago, child exploration of show me yours and I'll show you mine, is now considered sexual assault.
I had a fellow provider that had similar charges filed against her. Parents showed the 3 yo child video of her birth. The child reenacted what she saw by placing a baby doll in her pants and pulling it out. Provider unaware of the video told the parents about what she saw. Parents called CPS saying the child was molested at daycare. Licensing and police were at her door the next day. She was temporarily shut down and almost lost her license over something the parents caused.
allieannarbor 08:25 PM 08-22-2012
I am from the town you speak of and was so tempted to post links to those articles to see what people thought...
(I agree that assault could occur and in that situation a home child's home life needs to be closely examined and a 5 year old could not be held responsible for such actions)
I am inclined to believe, based on having more information on the situation, that it was one of those developmentally appropriate curiosity situations (show me mine, you show me yours doctor play) that was further exaggerated due to a police/governing group and newspaper's witchhunt agenda.
I had the exact " " thought.
The town is tense and stressed and pointing a lot of fingers lately, and no I do not know how a program could recover. The newspaper seems keen on presenting tabloid type headlines rather than fully researched news.... sad.
Unregistered 09:11 PM 08-22-2012
Kids who have been abused or have witnessed abuse/sex can and do copy. They don't really realize what they are doing at that age though. Kids can be exposed to some sick things early in life.
I went through foster parent training and they gave us info on that and what things to watch for. It is sickening.
DCMama 10:06 PM 08-22-2012
This job is starting to seem more and more difficult. haha Yes, kids should really learn to keep their hands to themselves but at the same time some cultures are different and it's just hard to find a balance between knowing someone culture and accusing them of sexual assault. A very thin line if you ask me. But for the 10 yr old boy case, I do not know the specifics so can't make a call on that. Just hope they can be fair about this.
Countrygal 06:01 AM 08-23-2012
I give up! This is the second time I've typed a whole post and lost it before I could post it.
Basically I agree with sharlan. As sexual abuse becomes more prevalent, society is becoming more obsessed with it, and everyone is afraid of it happening. Unfortunately, kids also are not being taught what is "appropriate" and "inappropriate" behavior by parents. This makes for a huge mess.
I would have trouble believing a 5yo sexually abused another 5yo, at least with knowledge of that it was totally inappropriate behavior.
This is my own personal take on it, and I WILL be flamed over it, I'll bet! With the decrease of morals as a whole in society, and the lines of "right" and "wrong" being blended to almost nonexistence, things like this will result. Is it sexual assault because the child is 1) acting on his curiosity or 2) copying what he has seen his parents do or saw on TV, or 3) copying something that happened to him. In any case I would find it hard to call it sexual abuse. The child needs to be observed and might need counselling, but at 5 they don't even have the physical hormones to have those kind of sexual urges.
Heidi 09:31 AM 08-23-2012
Originally Posted by Countrygal:
I give up! This is the second time I've typed a whole post and lost it before I could post it.
Basically I agree with sharlan. As sexual abuse becomes more prevalent, society is becoming more obsessed with it, and everyone is afraid of it happening. Unfortunately, kids also are not being taught what is "appropriate" and "inappropriate" behavior by parents. This makes for a huge mess.
I would have trouble believing a 5yo sexually abused another 5yo, at least with knowledge of that it was totally inappropriate behavior.
This is my own personal take on it, and I WILL be flamed over it, I'll bet! With the decrease of morals as a whole in society, and the lines of "right" and "wrong" being blended to almost nonexistence, things like this will result. Is it sexual assault because the child is 1) acting on his curiosity or 2) copying what he has seen his parents do or saw on TV, or 3) copying something that happened to him. In any case I would find it hard to call it sexual abuse. The child needs to be observed and might need counselling, but at 5 they don't even have the physical hormones to have those kind of sexual urges.
I'm pretty sure if we all walked around wearing hats ALL the time, sooner or later, one child would remove the other's hat to see what's underneath.
A five year old can not "sexually abuse" another 5 year old. Sexual abuse is when one person holds a position of power over another; whether that be by coercion or force.
No, does that mean we should just say "ya, that's normal behavior..go right ahead?" well, no...we don't let two years old bite because it's typical behavior, either.
Vilifying a 5 year old serves no one; the child, the OTHER child, or the provider. Why on earth would we want to label a FIVE YEAR OLD as a "sex offender"????? The way it's headed, we'll be having them register now, too.
btw: I have no problem with a registry. It's great when it's used appropriately. But when an 18 yo boy gets his 17 yo GF pregnant, someone gets pissed, and then he must register as a sex offender...that's not the intention of the process, nor does it serve anyone.
Sorry...now I went off on a tangent! This just hits close to home because I was a childhood victim of sexual abuse (over many years by a close relative). I also know of a several teenagers that have been madly in love, but had the been "caught" they boys would have been in BIG trouble. Yet, my relative got a way with that S*** for years and suffered no consequences.
daycare 10:44 AM 08-23-2012
i am going to say NO... while kids can copy things that have been done to them. I don't think that a child at the age of 5 would mean to do it with bad intentions.
Kids will play doctor, kids will repeat what is done to them. They are for the most part still learning right from wrong and as a child they may not completely understand that something to this degree is "horrible" and its just mere curious play.
I think it's the adults are making a huge deal out of it, not the child.