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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Going To Find My Backbone Today
Nickel 10:45 AM 10-15-2012
I have vented about dcf before. They pay less than everyone else, only pay for days that they are here and ALWAYS pay late! So I am going to give them my contract today that says I will charge late fees and they have to pay for all days except provider illness. I am giving them 4 weeks to return it. If they do not return it by the time, then I will terminate care affective 2 weeks after that date. I am tired of asking and asking for my paycheck. And honestly it is getting difficult to keep up with what days are credited.

I am going to tell them that they are paying for a spot and that spot is worth x amount of dollars, which is less what they are paying. I am not going to raise their rates (at this time) but I am going to require they are on the same contract as everyone else.

Why today? Well, dcm asked how much she owed me because of that whole diarrhea episode and her child was out and missed almost a whole week of care (they are pt mwf) Then she tried to get a discount for leaving an hour early on Monday really.... Anyway, I hadn't calculated everything on Wednesday, so I told her I would let her know. I emailed it to her Thursday and gave her the paper copy on Friday.

Friday she was late by about 5 minutes. my reg ft dcg was out and I didn't have anyone else until 2pm. dcg was suppose to be picked up at 10. So I planned to exercise with a friend, get a shower, meet hubby for lunch and stop at the store and bank and be home by 130 so I could get dd down for nap before other dcg came around 2. So I was upset when she was late. I gave her dcg at the door with her bag, said invoice is in the bag. I have to leave. And got in my car and left. teeheehee

So then today she drops off, no payment. She sends me a text at 12 asking how dcg is doing. I said she's fine, but tired. and remember tuition is due today. She tells me, oh sorry I forgot. dcd will pay you when he gets off work today! which is around 5 and dcg gets picked up at 2. So I am going to give dcd my contract, my written policy about when it is due, the effective date and what happens if they don't return it. So I am essentially giving them 4 weeks until it goes into affect or 6 weeks to find another dc.

I am sooooo nervous. My heart is pounding, I have cotton mouth, and I feel queesy! Please tell me I am doing the right thing and lend your support. i am so supper nervous. And I probably would have let this go the way it is, but honestly I am tired of asking for my money and waiting days for it. And I feel like I can't enforce a late fee, because they never signed a contract. So today is the day...
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Nickel 11:02 AM 10-15-2012
Okay, does this sound okay?

To the parents of dcg
Please read over the attached forms and contract. Your contract is due back and will be effective on NOVEMBER 12, 2012. If I have not received your signed contract on this date (November 12, 2012 by 5:00pm), I will assume you are no longer interested in my services and child care will be terminated on NOVEMBER 26, 2012. If you have any questions, please contact me at

Thank you,

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Blackcat31 11:03 AM 10-15-2012
Don't you already have fees for late payments and pick ups in your contract?

Haven't they already signed a contract?

Refresh my memory....

I have some comments, but it depends on your answers.
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Nickel 11:07 AM 10-15-2012
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Don't you already have fees for late payments and pick ups in your contract?

Haven't they already signed a contract?

Refresh my memory....

I have some comments, but it depends on your answers.
This family was my very first one and I didn't have them sign a contract. They only pay for days they use and they are suppose to pay every other Friday before care is offered per verbal agreement.

I know, I know. I am trying to fix it!!! So this will also notify them that they are required to pay regardless of if they are here or not and late fees for pick up and payment.
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Blackcat31 11:17 AM 10-15-2012
Hey, don't beat yourself up....we have all had that "first family" that taught us so much about our jobs and our backbones....

Ok my opinion is I would absolutely give them a written contract outlining ALL fees for late pick ups, late payments and late schedules/arrivals and anything else you want them to know. What I wouldn't do though is give them so long to get it back to you.

I try to do everything on a two week or less time line. Two weeks is plenty long enough for changes to happen. I would give them the contract and require they read, sign and date it and return it to you NO LATER than Friday. I would write somethign stating that if they don't return it by then, that you will consider that their two week notice for withdrawl from care.

If you give them until November 12th, then they are going to forget and you will be sooooo stressed out by then.

There is nothing wrong with requesting they sign a contract and return it within the next 4 days. These are adults we are talking about not fragile children or elderly folks....kwim?

If you are feeling kind, go ahead and include the "regular rate" in the notice somewhere (to show your generosity ) but let them know you gave them as discount (at their current rate) because they were your first family and then mention that you will NOT be budging on your fees for any late pickups or payments from now on.
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cheerfuldom 11:26 AM 10-15-2012
I wouldnt give longer than a two week deadline for a new contract to be signed or returned...actually, I only give one weeks notice myself.
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Nickel 11:27 AM 10-15-2012
I was thinking of giving them a 4 week notice because there is essentially a rate change eventhough the actual dollar amount is not the same. What if I give them until November 1st to return it and then effective the 12th? Either new rates or they are terminated? That might be fair, right???

I like showing them that they are on a lower rate, how would I word that?
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Nickel 11:30 AM 10-15-2012
Okay, so I changed my notice. Any thoughts or suggestions:

Please read over the attached forms and contract. Your signed contract and forms are due back no later than October 26th, 2012 and will be effective on NOVEMBER 5, 2012. If I have not received your signed contract on by this date (October 26th, 2012 by 5:00pm), I will assume you are no longer interested in my services and child care will be terminated on NOVEMBER 5, 2012. If you have any questions, please contact me
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Nickel 11:33 AM 10-15-2012
I messed that up too. My thing is they pay every two weeks. So they pay this week for the next two weeks. So I wanted to give them 2 periods, but November 12 seems so far away! If I make it effective November 1st, is that odd since it is in between pay periods, if that makes sense? I don't want to start Oct 26th because I feel that is too soon.
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Blackcat31 11:36 AM 10-15-2012
Originally Posted by Nickel:
I was thinking of giving them a 4 week notice because there is essentially a rate change eventhough the actual dollar amount is not the same. What if I give them until November 1st to return it and then effective the 12th? Either new rates or they are terminated? That might be fair, right???

I like showing them that they are on a lower rate, how would I word that?
I would say something like "As you can see normal rates for the hours/days of care you receive are $xx but as my first enrolled family, you received a substantial discount which will still stand."

Where is the rate change? I thought you weren't raising their rates, just having them sign a contract... did I read that wrong?

Originally Posted by Nickel:
Okay, so I changed my notice. Any thoughts or suggestions:

Please read over the attached forms and contract. Your signed contract and forms are due back no later than October 26th, 2012 and will be effective on NOVEMBER 5, 2012. If I have not received your signed contract on by this date (October 26th, 2012 by 5:00pm), I will assume you are no longer interested in my services and child care will be terminated on NOVEMBER 5, 2012. If you have any questions, please contact me
I would give them NO LATER than October 26th to read, sign, date and return the contract but I would tell them it is effective immediately after they return it on the 26th. No sense giving so much time in between signing and doing....kwim?

I know you said you feel the 26th is too soon....and although I don't can I ask you why you feel that is too soon? You aren't asking them to grow a sunflower, you are asking them to pay you on time. That isn't that tough to do and doesn't require any additional time.
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Nickel 11:38 AM 10-15-2012
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I wouldnt give longer than a two week deadline for a new contract to be signed or returned...actually, I only give one weeks notice myself.
Thanks!!! I decided to give them until Oct 26th to return it and it is effective oct 29th. If I do not receive it by then care will be terminated on the 29th. I am so stinking nervous. I feel like I am going to be sick.

I'm not giving the notice to dcm. i will wait until dcd gets here with payment after work today

Or maybe I should have it due back on Friday and then if not received by Friday care will be terminated on the 5th? That would be 2 weeks from then... ahhhhh.... I confused myself now!!!!
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Nickel 11:45 AM 10-15-2012
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I would say something like "As you can see normal rates for the hours/days of care you receive are $xx but as my first enrolled family, you received a substantial discount which will still stand."

Where is the rate change? I thought you weren't raising their rates, just having them sign a contract... did I read that wrong?



I would give them NO LATER than October 26th to read, sign, date and return the contract but I would tell them it is effective immediately after they return it on the 26th. No sense giving so much time in between signing and doing....kwim?

I know you said you feel the 26th is too soon....and although I don't can I ask you why you feel that is too soon? You aren't asking them to grow a sunflower, you are asking them to pay you on time. That isn't that tough to do and doesn't require any additional time.
Because I am currently not charging them for days they are here, but my contract (and every one else) pays for ALL days except provider illness and 2 weeks of free vacation. So it is sort of like a rate change... sort of...

Okay, it is definitely my bleeding heart and a way for my backbone to still bend. Okay, I am going to have it due on the 26th and effective on the 29th. That is 2 weeks from today and then I will know Friday if they are coming back on Monday AND It will start with the new pay period. I can do it. I know I can. I just have to hit print, stuff it in a folder and hand it to dad with a smile
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Blackcat31 11:50 AM 10-15-2012
YES!!!!! You CAN do it!!!

I would put it all in a folder, like you plan and hand it over and say "Here are some important forms for you and your wife to read, fill out and return to me. They are time sensitive so please don't put it off. Thank you! Have a great night!" then smile big and close the door.

If necessary, think of it as handing them the "problems" all neat and tidy in written form. This should be their issue not yours. You have stressed enough over this so you are officially relieved of that duty!
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Nickel 02:57 PM 10-15-2012
I am so incredibly nervous. My hands are shaking. Wow, I am such a baby! Everything is in a folder ready to go with the note attached... I can do it, i know I can do it. It needs to be done... I know it does. It will be fine. And if worse comes to worse, they will term and I can fill their spot with at a higher rate. It will all work out. Okay, I'm rambling!

Thank you black cat for the advice. I know I can do this. I just have to hand him the folder. No need to discuss it unless they have a question....
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daycarediva 03:09 PM 10-15-2012
You can do it! The first time is the hardest! Let us know how it goes!
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juliebug 03:12 PM 10-15-2012
You can do !! You will feel so much better too
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Nickel 03:15 PM 10-15-2012
I did it!!! He knocked on the door. I opened it. He paid me. I told him I didn't have change, I will credit their account. Then I handed him the folder. Said these are some forms for you. Take a look at them and return them to me. He said okay. Did dcm talk to you?

About what? dcg rash? Oh, yea. It was from the virus she had. My daughter had the same thing once. She had strep and then got a rash after it was over. noncontagious. I said yes, I saw it. It wasn't too bad in the morning, it got a little worse. Honestly, I didn't think it looked that bad. He kind of smiled.

Then we made some small talk and he left. Sigh of relief. i did it and I didn't die. LOL... The fun part is going to be Wednesday when they come for care. But for now. I have an entire day of peace. and honestly I am proud of myself! Thank you for the encouragement. WIll let you know how Wednesday goes
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Blackcat31 03:28 PM 10-15-2012
Originally Posted by Nickel:
I did it!!! He knocked on the door. I opened it. He paid me. I told him I didn't have change, I will credit their account. Then I handed him the folder. Said these are some forms for you. Take a look at them and return them to me. He said okay. Did dcm talk to you?

About what? dcg rash? Oh, yea. It was from the virus she had. My daughter had the same thing once. She had strep and then got a rash after it was over. noncontagious. I said yes, I saw it. It wasn't too bad in the morning, it got a little worse. Honestly, I didn't think it looked that bad. He kind of smiled.

Then we made some small talk and he left. Sigh of relief. i did it and I didn't die. LOL... The fun part is going to be Wednesday when they come for care. But for now. I have an entire day of peace. and honestly I am proud of myself! Thank you for the encouragement. WIll let you know how Wednesday goes


YIPEEEEEE for YOU!!!!

If they try to ask any questions on Wednesday, just ask them to either call you later or e-mail them to you as it is too difficult to talk when you have DCK's you need to mind. That way handling anything uncomfortable (if it is) can be easier on the phone or in written correspondence!

SUPER PROUD OF YOU!!!!
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Nickel 03:40 PM 10-15-2012
Thank you thank you. I feel like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. I even talked to my dh who normally says it's your business.. But this time he said that they forced my hand and sometimes i have to be the bad guy. And if they terminate that I can either find someone that pays my full rate or at least someone who pays on time!

I love the idea of asking them to email any questions they have. I will have to remember that! dcm comes at 830 and the other dck arrives at 8, so I will have to think up a fun game to play when they get here so that I am really involved and busy.

Wow. I feel so so so much better.
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lovemykidstoo 06:31 PM 10-15-2012
I'm so glad you feel better. It is such a relief when we have to deal with things like that. It's too bad that their bad behavior made you feel so stressed out. They should be the ones that are stressed out! Glad you can breath a sigh of relief!!
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Meeko 06:34 AM 10-16-2012
Feel the power of your new awesomeness!!!!! LOL!

Great job...it will get easier each time you have to make changes.

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Nickel 08:21 AM 10-17-2012
Update

Dcm cam in today and gave me thr signed contract and no comments. Only that school is out wed and fri the week of thanksgiving. Nothing else! Woohoo! I feel so relieved. It worked out just fine and they didnt say anything about the contract. She did say that she put the payment schedule in her phone so she shouldnt he late anymore! Yea! All that stress and it went great! Thank u all for the encouragement!
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Blackcat31 08:24 AM 10-17-2012
Originally Posted by Nickel:
Update

Dcm cam in today and gave me thr signed contract and no comments. Only that school is out wed and fri the week of thanksgiving. Nothing else! Woohoo! I feel so relieved. It worked out just fine and they didnt say anything about the contract. She did say that she put the payment schedule in her phone so she shouldnt he late anymore! Yea! All that stress and it went great! Thank u all for the encouragement!
That is awesome! Super glad things worked out so well!

...I was just thinking it was Wednesday and they were due to be there today so I was thinking about you and wondering.....thanks for the update.
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SunshineMama 08:39 AM 10-17-2012
Good for you!!!

We all have those first daycare families that force us to have to use our backbones. (I am still having problems, as I started 2 years ago and still have 2 of my first families). I wish i was as brave as you!
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MarinaVanessa 08:50 AM 10-17-2012
Yeah!!! That sounds like it worked out for you . Even though you were a nervous wreck befor handing them the file I bet you feel great now!! Like a load has been lifted off your shoulders!! Kudos!!
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daycarediva 09:20 AM 10-17-2012
AWESOME!!!
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lovemykidstoo 09:25 AM 10-17-2012
Originally Posted by Nickel:
Update

Dcm cam in today and gave me thr signed contract and no comments. Only that school is out wed and fri the week of thanksgiving. Nothing else! Woohoo! I feel so relieved. It worked out just fine and they didnt say anything about the contract. She did say that she put the payment schedule in her phone so she shouldnt he late anymore! Yea! All that stress and it went great! Thank u all for the encouragement!
That is great news!!! Good for you. So by her telling you that the school is out wed and fri, she still has to pay for that right?
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Nickel 09:58 AM 10-17-2012
Hehe. She has to pay for wed but i took fri off unpaid. She would pay for thurs too but she isbt scheduled that day! So yup. She pays that week
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lovemykidstoo 10:03 AM 10-17-2012
Originally Posted by Nickel:
Hehe. She has to pay for wed but i took fri off unpaid. She would pay for thurs too but she isbt scheduled that day! So yup. She pays that week
Woohoo! This is going to be so great for you!!!
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Nickel 10:59 AM 10-17-2012
thank you!!! i think so too. now all my families are on the same page if not the same rate!!! i am thrilled!!! and i feel a million pounds lighter!!!
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Tags:backbone, late payment, vent
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