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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>DCG Always Talks To All The Parents
MomBoss 09:37 AM 10-17-2017
I have a 3 1/2 year old dcg who is always talking to the parents at pick up telling them what their child did that day.." John pooped his pants." "Sarah was naughty". "Joe scratched me." Stuff that is not her business to tell and sometimes the things she says isnt true. Like she will hit a child and the child will hit her back, then she tells their parent "they were mean to me today she hit me." Then i have to explain the story because otherwise they think their child was bad when really they were just defending themselves. How do i approach this situation and get this child to stop talking to the parents? She also interupts when im talking to the parents and also tries to hold conversations with the parents when they are trying to leave (from pick up or drop off), making them stay longer when i rather have pickups/drop offs go quick!
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CityGarden 09:50 AM 10-17-2017
That would get annoying quickly. Do you have a pick up window? (i.e. example all families normally pick up between 5pm - 5:30pm)

I have worked on my pick up procedure mostly to limit the small talk with parents. I either do pick up outside during playtime or on my covered front porch....

Outside during playtime I have all the child's items outside with us and the parents can gather their child and leave the other dcks seems pretty engaged in play so they don't stop when a parent comes for more than a couple seconds to check IF it's their parent.

On the porch, I read stories so the children are all engaged in an activity and the parent quietly gathers their child (and items which are again right outside) I only stop the story to say good bye.

Have you tried to ensure the girl is engaged doing other things? Can you give the girl a job during pick up? Maybe her job is to "watch" the little ones in the play kitchen area so you can help the other dcks leave....
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MomBoss 10:12 AM 10-17-2017
Pick up is while we are outside. Find it easier that way since they are all dressed and ready to go lol. Whenever a parent walks into the backyard she runs up to them and talks and talks and talks... yes very annoying! I can see the annoyance on the parents faces too...
Im not sure how to keep her away from them. After the parents leave, i pull her aside and tell her not to talk to the parents, thats my job, and that they are strangers to her and she shouldnt be talking to strangers. It doesnt work.
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Play Care 10:14 AM 10-17-2017
When I have had this happen, I take a moment to set the "tattler" at the table with an activity. They are to stay at the table until I tell them it's time to get down. I then go talk to the parent.
This works because my table is away from/out of sight of the door.

I do think sometimes we get so caught up in not wanting to discipline a child in front of parents (not their child) that we don't do anything. I believe this is a mistake. It's okay to say "just a second" to a parent and walk the "tattler" to a designated "thinking spot" until you can finish your convo with the parent.
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Blackcat31 10:15 AM 10-17-2017
Originally Posted by MomBoss:
I have a 3 1/2 year old dcg who is always talking to the parents at pick up telling them what their child did that day.." John pooped his pants." "Sarah was naughty". "Joe scratched me." Stuff that is not her business to tell and sometimes the things she says isnt true. Like she will hit a child and the child will hit her back, then she tells their parent "they were mean to me today she hit me." Then i have to explain the story because otherwise they think their child was bad when really they were just defending themselves. How do i approach this situation and get this child to stop talking to the parents? She also interupts when im talking to the parents and also tries to hold conversations with the parents when they are trying to leave (from pick up or drop off), making them stay longer when i rather have pickups/drop offs go quick!
Stop allowing her to have access to the parents.

At pick up, the second you see her getting ready to be Chatty Cathy, stop her and tell her to go play.

Rinse and repeat.

I do not allow ANY child to 'tell someone else's story' and it's something we discuss daily as part of our "personal responsibility" obligations.

I've even asked parents to tell a child that isn't theirs that they don't want to hear it from anyone but their own child.
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Play Care 10:17 AM 10-17-2017
Originally Posted by MomBoss:
Pick up is while we are outside. Find it easier that way since they are all dressed and ready to go lol. Whenever a parent walks into the backyard she runs up to them and talks and talks and talks... yes very annoying! I can see the annoyance on the parents faces too...
Im not sure how to keep her away from them. After the parents leave, i pull her aside and tell her not to talk to the parents, thats my job, and that they are strangers to her and she shouldnt be talking to strangers. It doesnt work.
In this case, I would immediately step between her and the parent and direct her to sit on the stairs/chair or what ever spot you've designated away from the parent. Walk her to the chair if need be and tell her to stay until the parent has left. You can be firm without being mean
The parents will probably be relived to see you handle it, because likely they are starting to think Miss Thing runs the show.
You should be able to have a quick end of the day convo with other parents, and she needs to learn manners.
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Hunni Bee 10:55 AM 10-17-2017
Originally Posted by Play Care:
In this case, I would immediately step between her and the parent and direct her to sit on the stairs/chair or what ever spot you've designated away from the parent. Walk her to the chair if need be and tell her to stay until the parent has left. You can be firm without being mean
The parents will probably be relived to see you handle it, because likely they are starting to think Miss Thing runs the show.
You should be able to have a quick end of the day convo with other parents, and she needs to learn manners.


We have one who does this. He isn't trying to tattle...he just has a hard time waiting for his own mom to come and he's also special needs. So he runs up to every parent who comes in and talks to them or wants to give them hugs. It annoys the other kids because he beats them their mom or dad and gets to hug/talk to them first.

We just redirect him every. single. time. After a week of hearing "A, no. Go play with toys" 30+ times an afternoon he got the message.
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Britt507 11:15 AM 10-17-2017
We have a little 3 1/2 year old here that does the same thing. Or will tell the kids their mom is here when they've already noticed and are either putting their toys away or getting ready to leave.

I have just talked to that child every time, telling this child that it is not her job to talk to the parents or tell the other kids that their mom/dad is there. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

Maybe give a little consequence. We've been working with our 3-5 year olds and talking to them about consequences. And explaining when such and such happens, something else will happen because of that.
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Indoorvoice 11:23 AM 10-17-2017
All of the above, plus I OVER praise the kiddos who mind their own business.
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sharlan 11:25 AM 10-17-2017
I had/have this child. She's now 8. I repeatedly tell her she is not allowed to talk to any mommies or daddies except her own

She's the first to check the door when a parent comes, even though kids can't touch the door.
She's the last to be picked up. .

I started sending her to time out in front of the parents. Now she's pretty good about it.
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AmyKidsCo 12:41 PM 10-17-2017
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
Stop allowing her to have access to the parents.

At pick up, the second you see her getting ready to be Chatty Cathy, stop her and tell her to go play.


I'll also say that if she tells parents what other kids did they get to tell her parents what she did, like (specific example). If she's the last pick up I'll threaten to tell them myself. That usually puts things in perspective.
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hwichlaz 01:15 PM 10-17-2017
I have a 5 year old who does this. I stop her every time. She's been doing it since she was 2. :P

I still stop her every time. I tell her "Go to the playroom, only kids who are going home can go to the cubbies/door.
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Josiegirl 02:59 AM 10-18-2017
Ugh, I have this issue too. A dcb who starts in Sept. gets all excited during parents picking up. It's difficult to keep him contained while the others are leaving and he'll run in front of dcps shouting hello at them. I was trying to talk with 1 dcp at p/u yesterday and he laid on the floor, kicking at me repeatedly. I looked him in the eye and told him firmly, 'I know you want my attention but you need to wait until I'm done talking with son-so's parent. THEN you will get my attention.' Trouble was I had just had them busy at the table with playdough, hoping I could send them off one by one semi peacefully. But something about these times causes chaos. He's not so much the tattler type though.
Then I had 1 dcg who was trying to climb the side of the baby crib as soon as she saw her mom drive up yesterday. I pulled her off and said 'you KNOW that's not allowed!' Course by the time dcm walks in dcg is laying on the floor whimpering so dcm is all over her with hugs and coddling. I tod her exactly the reason for her whimpering. Come on!!
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CeriBear 07:22 AM 10-18-2017
I had a girl last year who liked to do the same thing. She was always going over to the parents and informing them about something their child had done— good or bad. She was constantly saying things like “Jason peed in his pants today” “Emily spilled her milk at snack” or even something nice like “Kelsey got to be line leader because she was good.” I finally had to take her aside and explain to her that it wasn’t her job to inform parents about their child’s day. It was MY job or the other teachers job. Since this didn’t work I started sending her to sit in time out as soon as she tattled to another parent.
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daycarediva 10:09 AM 10-18-2017
Originally Posted by Play Care:
When I have had this happen, I take a moment to set the "tattler" at the table with an activity. They are to stay at the table until I tell them it's time to get down. I then go talk to the parent.
This works because my table is away from/out of sight of the door.

I do think sometimes we get so caught up in not wanting to discipline a child in front of parents (not their child) that we don't do anything. I believe this is a mistake. It's okay to say "just a second" to a parent and walk the "tattler" to a designated "thinking spot" until you can finish your convo with the parent.
agree here.

I also see more kids without manners interrupting conversations, etc and would treat it the same as any other bad manner behavior. "Excuse me, grown ups are talking right now. I will talk to you when Miss Kate and Susie go home." and direct to another space.
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Tags:pick up behavior, pick up issues, talker
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