Many appear to be 'by the book' and don't stray from or bend the rules. While I'm not the doormat I used to be when I first started out I do tend to have give and take(in many ways) within my daycare.
I either have too soft of a heart or can see both sides too often. Maybe the Libra in me??
So how do you roll in dealing with dcks and their parents?
I do have to say if dcps weren't flexible and if they were hard to deal with, I'd be right by the book and not give a second of my time in helping them out. It's not like I'm letting them take advantage but more like since they picked up their kid an hour early so I could make a dr. appt., then I'm willing to overlook their 7 minutes late 1 day, ya know?

Just wondering.....

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I try to find a balance between by-the-book and softie. I have firm policies and I enforce (or not enforce) as I see fit. Does mom need to pay late because of overspending on vacation? Or because her car broke down? It's at my discretion and I love that. I never charged a late fee to a mom that was constantly 5 min late....because she relied on the public bus system. But a dad who was constantly late because the line was long at Starbucks? Charged.
Generally speaking......softie here. But not a push over.

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I am a big softie. I try to help when I can, but I expect the same in return. It's what I would want in a provider if I was sending my child.

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I'm a softie...way too much so. I'm working on it, but I HATE confrontation & most of my clients are family friends so it makes it harder. Personally, if I had a good friend who was providing my childcare I'd bend over backward to make sure I wasn't abusing the relationship. I am doing better though. I've been changing policies little by little & enforcing them more. I keep thinking about Blackcat saying that saying yes to them often means saying no to you & that helps.

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I've conditioned myself to only be a softie towards parents who deserve it. Monday, my favorite family asked me if I could watch their kids until six last night. I had no problem doing that. However, a former SA kid stopped by unannounced yesterday with her dad, DURING NAPTIME, and wanted to visit the kids. I LOVE the kid, but the dad is a different story. I had to turn them away and when he asked if she could come play a different day, I gladly agreed! For my daily rate.

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I doubt anyone would call me a softie but I am flexible and laid back about every aspect of this job except:

• Payment
• Licensing regulations (especially safety)
• Manners/Respect (both kids and parents)

If a parent has those things down, we're golden.

Everything else, I can and will put forth the effort to either let it go or change it. Depending on the subject/situation.

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Wouldn't call myself a "softie" but one of the good things about being the boss is you can apply common sense discretion. If the family/ situation warrants a "bend" in the rules, then so be it. If not I'm pretty by the book.

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As someone who just termed a client for being 7 minutes late after they'd picked up early I'm sure it looks like I'm by the book and never a softie but that's not the case.

To me there is a fine line with being a softie and being a pushover. Very few things have remained consistent in all my years doing childcare but one thing that has is that with the majority of clients if you give an inch they take a mile.

In my recent term (I've only termed two families in 13 years) I could see the mother had no respect for my policies and that if I bent she was going to expect it every time. There were other clues such as when I sent her my vacation days for the year she responded "let me see if I can make these work"..um no, these are the days I'm off, and other things that when added together made me realize we had a problem.

My policy is parents pay on Monday morning before care or their child can't come. Every so often a parent forgets and asks to bring it at pick up, as long as I haven't had any payment issues with them I'm fine with waiting for payment same goes if they happen to be absent on Monday. I also have parents that are late every so often and I don't charge them as long as they don't abuse my generosity and try to take advantage of me. My rule is they can be late twice a year for up to 15 minutes AS LONG AS THEY CALL BEFORE THEIR SCHEDULED PICK UP TIME. Most of my clients are never late, my most recent term didn't call, didn't answer the phone when I called and didn't even apologize. I also have a no drop offs after 9:30 rule that I started because I had clients that would keep their child up late, let them sleep in I until 10:30 and bring them only to have them keep everyone else up from nap but will bend that if I know the child will still rest at nap time.

I've learned to go by my gut because it never fails, the few times I've discounted that nagging feeling I've regretted it.

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I agree, it is a very fine line and I base a lot of my decisions on the relationship with the family I have.

For example: wonderful DCM who generally picks up 30 minutes before her contracted pick up time happens to be 3 minutes late one day? I am not going to charge her. The DCM who was always late every single day because she wanted to go home and shower/go to the store/do whatever without her child because she is a single mom? Yes, she will be charged every single time. That DCM was also terminated after 6 weeks.

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Sadly this is what I've found, too. I am flexible but to a point. Like BC, there are certain things that I won't waiver on and are deal breakers (pick up on time, pay me on time, work with me with behaviour issues). Other things I can let slide depending on my relationship with the family.

Honestly, I don't have a lot of "rules" and parents that have problems with them, tend to have a problem with following rules in the first place. In my relatively short career providing daycare, these families never work out long term and no way will I be flexible with them.

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I'm a major softie. I have about an 8'page handbook, but I couldn't even tell you what most of it says. It's a formality mostly. There's stuff in there that I don't budge on. Payments, pick ups, and illnesses. But most of the time, I'm a softie.

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If our softie level is measured by the length of our handbooks, I am out.....


My handbook is 36 pages.

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I have a really laid back attitude. So if a parent is 5 or 10 minutes late, it honestly doesn't bother me. I understand that a parent sometimes needs a day to themselves, and sometimes wants to go grocery shopping with a kid. Been there, done that!

I also have pretty good parents. If they weren't, I'd be less inclined to help out here and there.

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But I bet you know what yours says! Lol. I don't for the most part lol

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I prefer the words "kind" and "compassionate". If a parent is respectful, pays on time, says an occasional thank you etc. I will bend over backwards to help them (when able). I was a doormat for 2 years, now I am trying to find that balance between being appropriately flexible when life happens, but to put my kids and faimly first, they matter first.

I was kind to my kids by not allowing a late pickup on a day they had swimming.

I was kind to the daycare family who picked up late by greeting them with a smile, assuring them I wasn't mad, telling them about baby's happy day, they paid for the time (a fair late fee), and I still loved them and their little one.

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I am a softie, but have been working hard on my backbone. I am trying to learn to be kind and understanding but not a doormat. I have come a little ways, but still working on it.

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Softie here 🙋🙋

90% of the time im softer than a 2-week old banana. BUT sometimes I surprise myself and just say what I think. I'm hoping to surprise myself more and more in the coming years.

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I find I'm most honest and get my point across the best when I just let the words fall out of my mouth. But then, there's no telling what I will say lol

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I am a big softy
only if it comes with respect and goes both ways ....
I have had to not be a softy with some ....but again it came with no respect

with licensing ..no ...I follow the rules ....they truely make sense
and are mostly around being safe

the kids well a firm fun hand ...

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I tend more toward the softie side. I sometimes tolerate more than I probably should but will speak up when I feel I need to, even if I feel uncomfortable doing it. For the most part, though, my families treat me with respect and I try to treat them the way I would have liked to have been treated when I was a dc parent.

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I'm a tough softie!!!!! I never have let parents walk all over me.

But here are some softie things I do out of choice

I purposely allow children to bring one toy from home each day because they share everything here and I think it's important to have something from home. If they have two or three small things here I don't fret. If they bring loads of big items they are required to choose one item before parent leaves and parent takes the rest. I don't have big issues with this and I have rules I enforce with this.

I keep extra coats, jackets, boots here for winter. Parents are busy, no I don't want to enable them, I request winter gear. If someone is taking advantage of me, I address it. If someone forgets once or twice I have the extras here to fall back on.

I have parents bring sleeping bags...I wash them. #1. If they went home each Friday would they just lay in the car or be forgotten? #2. I think families are super stressed and stretched so thin. This is a service I provide. It also saves me headaches tracking the SB down if it doesn't come Monday.

I respect parents, get close to many of them, they respect me, I'm firm, fair, and consistent when it comes to the kids and their behavior. We have lots of fun, but they know the rules and they know I won't tolerate CRAZY!

I know there are other things I read here concerning parents and kids that I think "I'm a softie" in that area. Just can't think of any more.

I don't bend my policies...what's in the handbook is close to being written in stone.

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Softy here too!

I like to give people the benefit of the doubt. I seem to be a bad judge of character though, that can sometimes bite me in the butt, because like pp, I find that with some.....when you give an inch, they take a mile.....That's the time when I usually have to put on the professional pants, and reinstate my handbook policies. The thing that sometimes backfires for me then is the parent will challenge me on simple policies, (and when I say simple, I mean basic....like you cannot bring your child to daycare with a temp of 102.4) for getting away with it before, and it can become a power struggle with the parent. Unfortunately that usually ends with them leaving, or me sending them on their way. Either way, I try to look at it as a bullet dodged.

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I'm going to be the odd one: Nope, not at all a softie (with the parents).

8 years ago, I would have said yes I am, but I had a very different group then.
We did play dates, birthday parties and social gatherings.
In the past few years, families have changed, dynamics have changed, and I have changed.

I wrote my rules/handbook for a reason, it was the way I was comfortable doing business. I went over every aspect of this during the interviews. If they can't abide or agree with it, they need to find a different provider. I find it completely disrespectful when parents don't think the rules apply to them.
If it's an honest mistake, I'll still be nice and understanding, but I will not waive fees and it will still go in your file to determine if action/termination is needed in the future for non-compliance.

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