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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Need My Backbone!!!
Beach Baby 06:10 AM 04-24-2012
Dcb was supposed to be here this morning at 8:30. I only have him on an as needed basis. I started off as a babysitter to this family and have since written a contract and handbook and want to be more of a business. Dcd just texted me (30 mins late now) and said that dcb was up late last night and he is having a hard time waking him so he's just going to keep him home with him today. He said he would pay me for today if "I needed him to" since he said he would be here. UGH. It's in my handbook that they pay for the spots they reserve whether they use them or not. So he SHOULD pay for today anyway. However, I feel so bad taking money from a family that I know is struggling financially. Honestly, I do not have any other kids today (except my own) and am a little glad that he cancelled because now I can some things done. I know, I know...if I let it slide this one time, then it will be expected the next time. I hate this part!!!
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Zoe 06:15 AM 04-24-2012
Whether they mean to or not, parents really can make you feel guilty for sticking to your policies. But, as you said, if you give on this, it can escalate. Just stick to your guns. After dcd pays you, it will be done. And it does get easier every time you do it.
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DaisyMamma 06:24 AM 04-24-2012
Originally Posted by Zoe:
Whether they mean to or not, parents really can make you feel guilty for sticking to your policies. But, as you said, if you give on this, it can escalate. Just stick to your guns. After dcd pays you, it will be done. And it does get easier every time you do it.
If you don't charge him today he may not even ask next time and just not pay you. But if you make him pay today, he may not even ask next time and just pay you. What you do RIGHT NOW will depend on how things go from NOW ON.
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AnneCordelia 06:25 AM 04-24-2012
You are thinking about this one time and how not being paid for the day wouldn't really effect you TODAY. You need to think about NEXT TIME when this dcd keeps the child home and doesn't want to pay because you let it slide today. Think about next TIME, when you might really need that money, and use your backbone today to keep your policies strong.

You can do it!!
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Beach Baby 06:42 AM 04-24-2012
I texted back, "Ok, see you tomorrow!" The problem is that I've become friends with this family as we now see each other outside of daycare at baseball practices. I hate taking money I don't feel that I've earned, but at the same time, as you said (and as it says in my handbook) they are paying for the spot. That was a spot I wouldn't have given to anyone else because I saved it for dcb. And really, to have the option to only pay for what they reserve and not be required to have a minimum reservation and to not have to pay to hold the spot when they aren't here for weeks is worth $20 right there.
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cheerfuldom 07:26 AM 04-24-2012
Don't forget...if they are in that tight of a spot financially, they would have gotten him up and brought him. Dont let their problems become your problems. I bet they wont pay you because your text didnt clearly say that they should......
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Beach Baby 07:40 AM 04-24-2012
They will pay. DCD will come tomorrow morning and ask how much he owes. He does this every time it's time to pay...the rates are in the handbook, but he still asks...every single time. Going to hand him an updated handbook and contract tomorrow morning as well. You're right though, can't let their problems become my problems. I need to remember that next time I'm confronted with someone trying to get pity or take advantage.
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Blackcat31 07:41 AM 04-24-2012
How come you feel bad about taking money from a family but you aren't expecting them to feel bad about basically taking money from you?

They are losing out on this money (pay for the day) because of THEIR actions NOT yours so basically they cost themselves money.

You had nothing to do with it. kwim?
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My4SunshineGirlsNY 08:13 AM 04-24-2012
It is VERY difficult I know...over the years it's been more business for me, it's pay whether the child is here or not. If you feel guilty, allow the family a certain amount of non paid days per year to use when the child is absent. I allow my part time families up to 6 non paid days per year.

Or you can offer half rate when the child isn't there, kind of meet in the middle if that makes you feel more comfortable.

I have realized over the years it is NOT a good idea to become friends with the daycare families, BUT it does happen. I am a friendly person but it seems less stressful when I don't become the parents "buddy".
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Blackcat31 08:27 AM 04-24-2012
Originally Posted by My4SunshineGirlsNY:
It is VERY difficult I know...over the years it's been more business for me, it's pay whether the child is here or not. If you feel guilty, allow the family a certain amount of non paid days per year to use when the child is absent. I allow my part time families up to 6 non paid days per year.

Or you can offer half rate when the child isn't there, kind of meet in the middle if that makes you feel more comfortable.

I have realized over the years it is NOT a good idea to become friends with the daycare families, BUT it does happen. I am a friendly person but it seems less stressful when I don't become the parents "buddy".
I end up being friends with my daycare families too but I always remind myself and them that as long as they are enrolled they are clients FIRST and friends SECOND. As long as I keep that rule strong and firm, I have no issues with my families.

As a matter of fact, I am still pretty good friends with a few of my former clients because I met them while providing care. It is hard not to become close with families when we care for their children. It is just a fine line between client/friend and as long as the line isn't blurred, it is all good.
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Ariana 10:14 AM 04-24-2012
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
How come you feel bad about taking money from a family but you aren't expecting them to feel bad about basically taking money from you?

They are losing out on this money (pay for the day) because of THEIR actions NOT yours so basically they cost themselves money.

You had nothing to do with it. kwim?
Exactly!! It was his choice to miss the day, not yours!
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Tags:absent days, backbone, charging for missed days
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