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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Severe Seperation Anxiety - Need Advice!
SunflowerMama 08:02 AM 09-04-2014
Ok guys I need your help. I have an 18 month old that I've had part time for at least 6 months. He has what seems like extreme separation anxiety. He screams when mom drops him off and basically spends the day crying off and on for mom and definitely doesn't participate in activities with the others. Outside he will just follow me around crying and doesn't play with the other kids. I've tried re-directing him to other activities, books, toys but he always ends up back at the front door crying or at my feet crying. I would expect him to have adjusted by now, even coming part time, but it's just as bad today as it was 6 months ago. He and mom are very close. Still breastfeeding, co-sleeps I think and he's carried quite a bit too. I just can't do that here with so many other kids to help. Advice??
Blackcat31 08:57 AM 09-04-2014
The only advice I can give is to just not deal with the fall out from mom's choice in parenting styles.
I TOTALLY understand and support every parents right to parent in whatever manner they choose to but their choice cannot affect MY day or my group.
It sounds like this is exactly whats happening here.
I would tell mom that you will allow him to cry for x amount of minutes (I allow up to 60 mins) and if he is still upset and hasn't calmed down after that time period, she will need to come pick him up.
Once she sees/feels that this issue is by her own choices, she will begin doing what she can to change it.
People don't usually change their behaviors until it becomes an issue for them and right now it's only an issue for you, the DCB and the other kids.
Mom isn't having to deal with this so give her the issue. It's hers afterall.
How supportive and informative or educational you want to be with mom is up to you but as a provider I will never allow a child to be that upset for a long period of time. Especially when it is because of what the parents are doing at home.
because it IS hard to deal with this type of thing.
I TOTALLY understand and support every parents right to parent in whatever manner they choose to but their choice cannot affect MY day or my group.
It sounds like this is exactly whats happening here.
I would tell mom that you will allow him to cry for x amount of minutes (I allow up to 60 mins) and if he is still upset and hasn't calmed down after that time period, she will need to come pick him up.
Once she sees/feels that this issue is by her own choices, she will begin doing what she can to change it.
People don't usually change their behaviors until it becomes an issue for them and right now it's only an issue for you, the DCB and the other kids.
Mom isn't having to deal with this so give her the issue. It's hers afterall.
How supportive and informative or educational you want to be with mom is up to you but as a provider I will never allow a child to be that upset for a long period of time. Especially when it is because of what the parents are doing at home.
because it IS hard to deal with this type of thing.