Just started an in home daycare. I have my two sons and one family with one infant and two older kids. The older kids, for lack of a better term, "gang up" on mine. My son is left crying "why don't you like me?" after dck won't sit by him, stand by him in line, sit at table, etc. My son is a few months younger than dck's but he is truly a super sweet child. Basically, I feel like this is definitely NOT the environment that I envisioned when I quit my corporate job in order to watch my own kids grow/learn in a nurturing environment. Has anyone ever terminated care because the "fit" wasn't right with your own kids? I only get a short time before my child starts kindergarten and I am not happy with this situation, for multiple reasons, including the dck's say they don't want to do every single craft/game/activity that I have planned. They refuse to eat lunch half the time, they are rude to my children, and I am having a hard time working around the infant and trying to plan activities/learning. Feel like it is partially my naivety in taking a newborn & expecting to have time to plan learning/activities, but also that the older kids just & my own just cannot get along. Basically, I feel defeated. Any suggestions PLEASE!

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Would I allow my child to be in a situation where they were always upset and unliked? No. Especially not in their own home. I would begin looking for a new client to replace this family and replace them ASAP. Especially since you have a limited amount of time with your son in the home before he leaves for Kinder. That isn't fair to him to have the only other people in the house not even being kind to him.

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For me personally I made the decision when I started not to care for infants, I would feel pulled in too many directions and it's not my vision for what I wanted to provide-learning/activities/crafts/outdoor time etc.

If your own children are upset and the new kids are causing this much stress I would let them go and find new DCK's that are a better fit. I also prefer not to watch siblings for several reasons. I find that they act differently than the other kids and I also hate to lose that much income when they leave. Good luck!

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I will probably never take another sibling set again. The ones I had spent their entire day with me fighting and hurting each other. It's the first time I realized that some siblings need time apart during the day... 24 hours a day in close contact with a sibling can be too intense for some kids.

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I went through this not too long ago with my kids. First it was my daughter when I first opened. She was 5 but not in kindergarten yet. She would stay in her room all day because she really didn't like one of the kids. They left shortly after, but I'm sure I would have termed if they didn't leave.

Then my son 2.5 didn't like a dcb and would wake up crying because he didn't want him here. I felt so bad that he had to feel this way in his home. The whole reason for me doing this seemed silly if my own kids were miserable. This dcb also left 2 weeks ago and boy what a world of difference!

You need to have your family happy above all else. It will suck to lose all 3 but you will find better replacements and wish you had done it sooner. Our own kids have to deal with a lot that isn't fair. They share not only their house, but their toys, their mom, everything. And they are expected to be nice to everyone and share and behave. It's not easy for them. It has to work for them too.

Of course you won't like every single kid that comes through your door, but sometimes a fit is so bad you just need to let go. The amount of stress it causes not only you, but your children is sooooo not worth it.

I also made the decision not to take siblings anymore (at least not for a while). The ones I've had are the ones that act up and don't follow rules the most. The parents seem to have the attitude that "oh well, they are siblings, that's how they act". The simple fact of them being siblings is a disruption in my daycare with their "sibling" behavior.

You should look for new kids. Your son deserves it

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The kids definitely seem rude. I would definitely shop around for some other kids, along with making a behavioural plan to bring up to the parents. Your kid should not be bullied, esp in his own home. If the parents can't or won't encourage their kids to at least be friendly to others,I'd term and move on. The older dcks are probably just excluding your son b/c they haven't been socialized w/ other kids, and all they know is their sibling, so they have a clique mentality sort of. Hopefully everyone can get it worked out.

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Great advice, Thanks You have all said exactly what I have been feeling, and now I know I am not overreacting. I will try to find some newbies & try not to take infants or siblings. I really wanted to run my daycare like a preschool in order to get my son ready for Kindergarten in a year and a half. I have a feeling I'll be checking into this website a lot for advice.

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How about having your son present during interviews?? I did that with my youngest and it ended up being great.

I always try to involve my own kids in special ways and they get a few secret special privileges so they feel like they are part of the process.

Sometimes personalities just don't mesh and it's okay to realize some kids just aren't good fits for your program.

If you don't already, how about doing a trial period? I have at wow eek trial period just for reasons like this.

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Go with preschoolers or older toddlers only. Have your son present at interviews. Term rude or disruptive kids/siblings.

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