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  #1  
Old 05-22-2012, 11:16 AM
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Default I Have Become My Worst Nightmare

I want to quit so bad!!! The problem with this profession is, and I won't mince words, it sucks. All I want is my home back, new furniture that isn't slobbered on and covered in boogers. Peace. Quiet. No whining, screaming, biting, fighting....did I mention screaming?? I've never been more depressed, dejected, frustrated, tired and feeling guilty for all the above feelings... The only thing that would make me feel more guilty, is not being here when my kids get home from school. I know people do it but I would feel like the biggest failure if my kids had to come home to empty house. :-( Actually, I already feel like a failure because I can't seem to hack this profession anymore. Where'd my patience go? I used to have what I thought was an endless supply!
Sorry for being a downer. I needed to vent.
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Old 05-22-2012, 11:19 AM
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Aww, ((((hugs)))) hang in there. There is definitely an up and a down side to this business.

Wish I could say or do something to make it better for you!!!

Hoping the feeling passes and you will see the up side as more prevolent than the down side.

Other than that.....vent away!
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  #3  
Old 05-22-2012, 11:25 AM
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Is it possible that you are actually suffering from depression? Please see a Doctor.
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Old 05-22-2012, 11:26 AM
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Venting is always good. I have a good friend(Blackcat) that I vent to on a daily basis.
Hopefully you will start to feel better soon.
I agree being here when my own kids would come home from school was the best. As they are all out of the house now, I still am able to choose what days off I want to go spend with my Grandson.
Just remember, you are in charge. Take some time off. It sounds like you need it. ((((HUGS))))
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Old 05-22-2012, 11:41 AM
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I think at times we all go through it when I do I treat myself to something special
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  #6  
Old 05-22-2012, 11:46 AM
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it's definately part of the job!

It's almost the weekend...are you getting a long one???
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Old 05-22-2012, 11:51 AM
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Sorry you are feeling this way. I have gone through the same.

I would suggest looking into some "me" time. Do something you enjoy, be it napping, reading, baths, gardening etc. Take some time off work, and enjoy it.


Also, I know it's hard to do and much easier said, but try to stop thinking about it. The more you look at the negatives of it, the harder it is to get out of the lull. Think about the things you are grateful/thankful for that this job provides you. Examples: being home for your kids, not having to scrape ice off your windshield in the morning (if you live somewhere like that), being part of these kids lives, etc.

Try mindfulness. When the negative thoughts come up, just acknowledge that they are there, and then let them go. Breathe 4 counts in, hold one count, 4 counts out, hold 4 counts, repeat 2 more times for a total of 3 through your nose.

Think happy thoughts. Negativity attracts negativity. If you think bad things are going to happen, they will. If you think the kids are going to drive you nuts, they will.

hopefully this passes and you can find your love in it again. If you don't think you want to do this anymore, might be time to find a part time job during the day that does allow you to be home for your kids.
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Old 05-22-2012, 11:58 AM
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Default Thank you!

Thanks so much for the encouraging words. Its amazing so many of you have actually felt this way as well. I have thought maybe I do have depression but somehow I only feel this way when I'm working so its probably not. A Doctor would probably prescribe me something I don't need or want or tell me to get a new job. haha
I do have a 3 day weekend with pay on Memorial Day coming up so I will look forward to that. Its been rainy and yucky the last couple days too which doesn't ever help. I've hooked the kiddos up with play dough and we'll try to keep things happy until naptime.
Thanks everyone for your encouraging words. It helps so much!
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Old 05-22-2012, 12:00 PM
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If I didn't have assistants and office that is somewhat quiet, I would go NUTS. You are NOT a failure. This job is not for the faint of heart. It's tough.

Is there any way you could work a part time job at your children's school? You would be on their schedule which is exactly what you want.
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  #10  
Old 05-22-2012, 12:14 PM
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Sounds like you're ready for a vacation don't feel bad, we have all felt like tht at one point. Term your biggest problem child- you will be surprised how one child messes up the dynamic of the whole group.
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Old 05-22-2012, 12:24 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SunshineMama View Post
Sounds like you're ready for a vacation don't feel bad, we have all felt like tht at one point. Term your biggest problem child- you will be surprised how one child messes up the dynamic of the whole group.
I was about to say exactly this! Take some time off for a vacation- you need it. If there is one particular child that is causing your stress- think about downsizing and terminate. You would not believe how your outlook can change with a little R&R and changing your group dynamic!
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  #12  
Old 05-22-2012, 12:31 PM
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I feel like this every single day lately. It definitely sounds like you need a vacation. And sometimes it is all right to just hate what you do. It's called work for a reason - not everyone is happy all the time in their career. Try not to beat yourself up about it, and try not to let it stay with you after the kids leave at night. I find that to be the hardest part - putting my job away at the end of the day. It takes a lot of effort, but if I can try and keep my work day to just my workday...I find it a little easier. Hang in there - you are NOT alone in how you feel.
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  #13  
Old 05-22-2012, 12:32 PM
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About a year ago, I was at that point too. I am completely committed to being home when my kids are home from school, but the dc kids were driving me insane. Like, literally .

After telling my husband I needed to quit doing daycare, he helped me look at various alternatives to quitting. I could have termed the craziest kids, cut back on my hours, get an assistant, etc. The option that made the most sense was cutting back my hours. I went from a 12-hour day to a 10-hour day, and that made a HUGE difference! I lost 2 kids (from 1 family) in the process, but one of those kids was the primary cause of my insanity. I also talked two p/t families into going f/t, which gave me an excuse to discontinue "special" care for a friend. I was getting totally burnt out providing "special" for this one family. I love them dearly, but it was an extra strain on my energy, etc.

Anyway, after making those changes, I suddenly had more time, energy and patience to deal with those crazy days, sharing my home, and for parenting my own kids. It made a world of difference!

Are there any changes you could make? Even something like creating a way to hide the playroom toys on weekends so that you feel like you have your house back?
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  #14  
Old 05-22-2012, 12:59 PM
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I think it also depends on how many kids you have and the ages. Me, I was really frustrated with too many young infants so now I just have ONE and really am happy about that! It also depends if parents treat you with respect and all mine do so I love that too!

About the house being loud and messy. My house is quiet because I stressed that from day one. I only have a few children though, not 10 kids in the house. I kept my daycare separate for the reason of having personal non-daycare space. We don't have kids of our own so after working a 10-11 hour day i don't want to look at toys or kids artwork on the walls anymore, I will just walk upstairs and it's all personal adult-friendly home.
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  #15  
Old 05-22-2012, 12:59 PM
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Dont feel bad, I share those same feelings..even guilt. I desperately want out of my house but I feel bad because my youngest child is 3. I want to be with him and I want to be the one who raises him but I can't stand to sit in this house day after day. I feel trapped in my own home. A year and a half ago I decided to change my life. I started taking night class so I can one day be a teacher. It will take me forever but one day I will reach my goal.
Good luck to you..I hope you feel better!

~K
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  #16  
Old 05-22-2012, 02:24 PM
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Default Thanks again!

You all have such wonderful advice....Thank you!! I definitely need to let go of the negative thoughts. I tend to let them snowball into a giant mass at times. I also like the thought that its OKAY not to love my job. I don't know too many people who love their jobs- some don't even LIKE them (me...today)
but they do it because they need to pay the bills. I have 6 daycare kids right now ranging from 7 months to 4 years. The 4 yr old is fairly new and hasn't completely grasped my rules yet. She's definitely the most challenging of the group and I know I've let that influence my emotions. So again, thank you for the insight! I feel so much better already and I don't even feel like quitting my job right now. That's how helpful you've all been.

Thanks for your kind words! :-)
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  #17  
Old 05-22-2012, 02:27 PM
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Amen Sister.... Do you have a young group of kid's? I do right now, and am so over it! I just tell myself, this to shall pass. I have 2 that are delayed vocally and scream/screech over EVERYTHING!! Allergies have hit really hard, and snot is running constantly. I clean buggers off my furniture every nap time. Disgusting!!
I have been in business for 10 years, and I hit this spot every couple of years. Hope your 3 day weekend recharges your daycare light!!!
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  #18  
Old 05-22-2012, 06:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
Its amazing so many of you have actually felt this way as well.
I think most of us feel this way at one time or another. I tend to go in cycles. There are times when I love my job and other times when I feel as though I'm dragging myself through the week. When I start feeling like you do now, I try to get the kids outside more often. The more outside time they get, the better they behave inside and the easier nap time goes for me. Lately, I've been playing one of their favorite CDs that includes songs with lots of physical movement. I've noticed the kids' moods have been better since we've been dancing to the songs. Also, this is kind of odd I think, but I've been taking some online training courses to meet my licensing requirements and I've noticed that for some reason, my patience level is so much higher right after I finish a course. The courses don't take long to complete so they aren't all that time consuming and they're easy to do. You just read through the material and answer questions based on the reading so it's not a lot of extra work but I've been really surprised at the difference they've made in my patience level.

As far as the slobbering and boogers is concerned, could you cover your furniture with either slipcovers or even sheets that can be removed after the kids leave for the day? I have a dedicated room for my day care business and the kids aren't allowed in my living room because I was tired of cleaning drool, boogers, pee and poop off of my furniture. If I had to share my living space with the kids, though, I'd definitely cover the furniture.

Glad to hear you're feeling better than you were when your first posted. There's nothing like being able to commiserate with people who can empathize!
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  #19  
Old 05-22-2012, 06:43 PM
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I'm so looking forward to giving notice at my job and opening my daycare (probably next month) I'm looking forward to being home during the day, cooking meals for my husband and not having to work nights any more.

I've had a home daycare before, so I know what's in store for me, but this time, my 19 year old daughter is helping me.

Next time you get to feeling like you can't take it any more, count all the pros of doing what you do. I know there are many

When I'm at work and dealing with the public I keep wondering what on earth I'm doing there. People really suck but I keep smiling through all the rudeness, and standing for 8 hours and pain in my wrist (I'm a grocery cashier). Luckily, my co-workers and managers are so amazing!

Give me a few kids to cuddle, books to read and grass to run in. Mix in some playdo and a good helping of muffin batter to bake. Hot coffee that I can savour in my fave chair while the kidlets rest in the afternoon. And don't forget the great money at the beginning of every week!!
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Old 05-23-2012, 05:34 AM
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Originally Posted by Sparrow View Post
I'm so looking forward to giving notice at my job and opening my daycare (probably next month) I'm looking forward to being home during the day, cooking meals for my husband and not having to work nights any more.

I've had a home daycare before, so I know what's in store for me, but this time, my 19 year old daughter is helping me.

Next time you get to feeling like you can't take it any more, count all the pros of doing what you do. I know there are many

When I'm at work and dealing with the public I keep wondering what on earth I'm doing there. People really suck but I keep smiling through all the rudeness, and standing for 8 hours and pain in my wrist (I'm a grocery cashier). Luckily, my co-workers and managers are so amazing!

Give me a few kids to cuddle, books to read and grass to run in. Mix in some playdo and a good helping of muffin batter to bake. Hot coffee that I can savour in my fave chair while the kidlets rest in the afternoon. And don't forget the great money at the beginning of every week!!
Thank you for your positive thoughts! I have been struggling with the idea of going back to work because I am so sick of this business (the parents, not the kids). Your post was a good reminder about why I stay with my own kids!
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Old 05-23-2012, 07:20 AM
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Seeing how I have been in this mode and I ebb and flow in this mode.....

thought I would put a little of my thoughts into this and maybe something will help you or someone else.

1) have to put thoughts back to why you are doing childcare in the first place. We tend to forget.

2) off time is off time. Work your working hours and then separate work from home life. Can be hard to do if your daycare is in your home and not separated space.

3) have a phone a friend. a friend you can chat with though out the day that understands your conversations may be chopped often. Another provider is ideal.

4) Set some of the $ aside for yourself to do what you want with- no matter if you chose to not spend it and save for something bigger.

5) change things up a bit. It can get stale looking at the same stuff on your walls week in after week out. Move furniture to get a new perspective.

6) remember your in charge of your own happiness.

7) don't dwell on the negatives. Listen to them but let them go. As was mentioned, negativity breeds negativity.

8) take a class- it will refresh you

9) take care of yourself- just because your home doesn't mean that you should let yourself go. Fix your hair, shower, put make up on, dress not frumped out everyday- hey painting requires frumpy clothes or at least a smock- Do nice things for yourself daily that you can look forward too. A cup of your favorite beverage.

10) let little stuff go- they are kids and learning.

11) allow yourself to have a good little group. Weed out the ones that are making this impossible. If you don't want to weed- which I don't care to do unless I have no other way to go. Work with that child as your side kick- don't over compensate your attention on the child but work hard with them- think of it at a challenge.

12) Do the crappy parts of this job fast and well. Change up the diapers quick to get it over with, again challenging yourself for speed. I find it daunting at times to think that I have to change yet another diaper. It gets old fast. I try to see how fast I can get it done.

13) have a schedule and routine- don't fret if you go off it. When this happens just try next time, next task to get back on it

14) Organize- make meals ahead of time. Preplanned activities. Again don't fret if you don't shine in this area, just keep making it a goal, for the day, hour, minute

Get rid of junk that you don't need- and make your daycare areas as nice as you possibly can. I know of one provider that did daycare in her home. She had a hard time to regroup her home to be her home after daycare was over. She bought closing shelves for the toys and during pick up time come the end of the day. She would morf her daycare back into her home. Made a big difference. Also helped with transitioning her kids to go home.

15) don't take everyone's personal life on. Keep chat on the simple things, the child, the weather, business. Don't get into personal deep conversations about the Aunt that's Aunt gave birth to another Aunt etc....

16) I say this all the time because it was said to me and it makes a big difference! HAVE A POLICY HAND RULE BOOK CONRACT and stick with it. It is hard to do at times but be professional as any other business would operate and STICK with it. Don't do special unless you want to do special and you won't resent doing special. Remember your the BOSS of your home and your business. When the parent leaves with their child they are the Boss of whatever goes on. Don't try to fix parents and home life, just maintain your home and your rules and schedule. IF you stick with it the kids will adapt to what happens when they are on your clock.

17) don't let your own family guilt you. Remind them that the daycare is what you do for work to make ends meet and provide.....

18) keep in mind your feelings are normal, and when you start to feel like this, think to yourself a few things. Am I taking care of me? Why am I feeling this way? What can I do to come out of it?

19) Get the kids outside so they can run off energy, if you can't do inside movement.

20) If things don't get better go see a doctor. I applaud you for not wanting to be put on medication. Verbal therapy should always be a first option before meds in my oppinion. Meds do have there place.

Hope this helps you- your not alone- Look forward to seeing more on this topic-
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Old 05-23-2012, 07:37 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
Seeing how I have been in this mode and I ebb and flow in this mode.....

thought I would put a little of my thoughts into this and maybe something will help you or someone else.

Hope this helps you- your not alone- Look forward to seeing more on this topic-
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VERY nice post and VERY well said!!

I think for some members, printing this advice out and referring to it when necessary might really help make the low times more bearable and pass a bit quicker.
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  #23  
Old 05-23-2012, 09:50 AM
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Quote:
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Seeing how I have been in this mode and I ebb and flow in this mode.....

thought I would put a little of my thoughts into this and maybe something will help you or someone else.
This is deffinetely a great post. FCC is always a hard job because of the simple fact that in most cases it is an extremely lonely job. This is why I LOVE this forum so much. When someone needs to reach out for support or suggestions there are always people here that have gone through it before and come out on the other side . This post is a great list of suggestions on how to take care of YOU. Thank you for this.
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  #24  
Old 05-23-2012, 11:30 AM
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Part of it is the time of year, too.

April/May is always the worst...we also homeschool, and probably 80%+ of homeschoolers that I talk to get really frustrated this time of year, too. Summer is a crazy fun, busy time of year...the fall is exciting with the new school year & TONS of holidays (labor day, columbus day, halloween, thanksgiving, christmas). Then...nothing except Easter from Jan-May...and really... Easter isnt all that fun in comparison. By April/May, everyone has been in a holding pattern of boredom for months...just waiting it out until summer. Even now, it is summer-ish...BUT the pool isn't open until this weekends, and gosh...lets just get out of this rut already!

Even without the seasonal cycle...in every job I had, I get super bored about every 6-9months,and I have to shake things up a bit. Take a class, make plans about the kids' classes, curriculum....bring something new into the daycare or do a major re-org or redecorate. Declutter. Dh & I have been married for almost 15years...he doesn't even bat an eyelash when he comes home and nothing is where he left it in the morning. LOL
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Old 05-23-2012, 11:37 AM
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"Seeing how I have been in this mode and I ebb and flow in this mode.....

thought I would put a little of my thoughts into this and maybe something will help you or someone else."

Priceless! I'm printing this out!
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  #26  
Old 05-23-2012, 11:38 AM
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I am so sorry that you are feeling so bad. ((Hugs)) Wish I could say something to make you feel better. Hang in there and, if you don't have anyone in your life to vent to, remember all the supportive providers on this board who can totally understand the ups and downs of this job.
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Old 05-23-2012, 11:48 AM
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get some ear plugs! They work wonders!
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  #28  
Old 05-23-2012, 12:22 PM
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get some ear plugs! They work wonders!
I just giggled.
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