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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Seeking Advice From Long Term Providers....
AnythingsPossible 01:17 PM 10-22-2015
Hello all! I am looking for some insight from seasoned childcare providers. I find myself in a position of great aggravation and am wondering if this to shall pass, or if I am at a point where I am just done!
I have been doing home childcare for 13 years and lately find myself annoyed with everything! I have turned into quite an ogre and have a hard time finding any joy in my day. It is affecting my home life in the aspect that at the end of the day I am so frustrated by how my day has gone that I am just angry and don't want to talk to anybody or listen to anything my own children have to say. I just want to be left alone.
Have any of you found yourselves in this position before? Am I just a burnt out old provider who needs to move on? I often think of leaving childcare behind, but employment opportunities in my area are few and far between right now, so I feel stuck in what I am doing, which probably doesn't help my frame of mind! Just wondering if anyone else has found themselves in this position before and if so, how they turned their frame of mind around.
I have been doing home childcare for 13 years and lately find myself annoyed with everything! I have turned into quite an ogre and have a hard time finding any joy in my day. It is affecting my home life in the aspect that at the end of the day I am so frustrated by how my day has gone that I am just angry and don't want to talk to anybody or listen to anything my own children have to say. I just want to be left alone.
Have any of you found yourselves in this position before? Am I just a burnt out old provider who needs to move on? I often think of leaving childcare behind, but employment opportunities in my area are few and far between right now, so I feel stuck in what I am doing, which probably doesn't help my frame of mind! Just wondering if anyone else has found themselves in this position before and if so, how they turned their frame of mind around.
Play Care 01:58 PM 10-22-2015
There is a great post on provider burnout - I think it's a "sticky" post at the top.
Can you make some changes? Getting rid of the worst offenders or maybe changing up your day care space? Can you shorten hours or take a week off and see how you feel after that?
Maybe start putting out resumes and filling our applications to see if you can get any bites? Or doing some volunteering at a place you may want to work?
Hope things work out for you!
Unregistered 02:31 PM 10-22-2015
I'm going on 12 years and I have gone through bouts of this over the past 5 years. I make good money so I can't quit.... I just try to stay positive. Find a mantra that you can repeat, like "I will not let my job control my attitude, especially with my family" "I will not let this ruin my day"
daycare 03:17 PM 10-22-2015
I go through phases like this and I am going on my year number 13. I find when I feel that way, I just need to take a break. and I mean from everyone.
I often will pack up and take a flight out of town or even just drive up to the city for a few days to stay in a hotel ALONE. I don't even answer my phone to my own family. I think that we are so overwhelmed with being around people day in and out that it takes a toll on us. I know it does for me.
So far, I find that every time I come back I feel refreshed and ready to get back to work with the kids. BUT if I ever came back and still felt the same way then I thnk that would be my sign that it is time to quit.
Is it possible for you to squeeze in a small break and get some time alone?
I often will pack up and take a flight out of town or even just drive up to the city for a few days to stay in a hotel ALONE. I don't even answer my phone to my own family. I think that we are so overwhelmed with being around people day in and out that it takes a toll on us. I know it does for me.
So far, I find that every time I come back I feel refreshed and ready to get back to work with the kids. BUT if I ever came back and still felt the same way then I thnk that would be my sign that it is time to quit.
Is it possible for you to squeeze in a small break and get some time alone?
Ariana 04:39 PM 10-22-2015
I have been in childcare for 10 years and 5 as a homecare provider. Just last year I was feeling exactly like you were and I had a bit of an epiphany. My thoughts were what was creating so much stress for me. I was thinking very negatively and I was also putting a lot of pressure on myself on a daily basis to have the "perfect day". When I started to change my thoughts and just take each moment as it came with no expectations things got a LOT better.
I got a lot of help from a woman named Byron Katie and her website called "The Work" and her YouTube videos as well. Whenever I am in a slump I got to her and her techniques. She really helps you challenge your thoughts and see how you create your own misery in a lot of ways. I am not perfect of course but I am definitely much better than before! With this work I have also let go of guilt I feel about taking time for myself and taking care of me when I need it. I just booked a trip to Vegas with some girlfriends and there is no way I could do that a few years ago!
Huge hugs and all the best!
I got a lot of help from a woman named Byron Katie and her website called "The Work" and her YouTube videos as well. Whenever I am in a slump I got to her and her techniques. She really helps you challenge your thoughts and see how you create your own misery in a lot of ways. I am not perfect of course but I am definitely much better than before! With this work I have also let go of guilt I feel about taking time for myself and taking care of me when I need it. I just booked a trip to Vegas with some girlfriends and there is no way I could do that a few years ago!
Huge hugs and all the best!
AnythingsPossible 06:13 PM 10-22-2015
I truly appreciate the insight you ladies have provided. It helps just knowing that other's have been in this position as well. The above responses all have some really great ideas.
Play Care 03:10 AM 10-23-2015
Originally Posted by Ariana:
I have been in childcare for 10 years and 5 as a homecare provider. Just last year I was feeling exactly like you were and I had a bit of an epiphany. My thoughts were what was creating so much stress for me. I was thinking very negatively and I was also putting a lot of pressure on myself on a daily basis to have the "perfect day". When I started to change my thoughts and just take each moment as it came with no expectations things got a LOT better.
I got a lot of help from a woman named Byron Katie and her website called "The Work" and her YouTube videos as well. Whenever I am in a slump I got to her and her techniques. She really helps you challenge your thoughts and see how you create your own misery in a lot of ways. I am not perfect of course but I am definitely much better than before! With this work I have also let go of guilt I feel about taking time for myself and taking care of me when I need it. I just booked a trip to Vegas with some girlfriends and there is no way I could do that a few years ago!
Huge hugs and all the best!
This is so true. I have been in childcare for 10 years and 5 as a homecare provider. Just last year I was feeling exactly like you were and I had a bit of an epiphany. My thoughts were what was creating so much stress for me. I was thinking very negatively and I was also putting a lot of pressure on myself on a daily basis to have the "perfect day". When I started to change my thoughts and just take each moment as it came with no expectations things got a LOT better.
I got a lot of help from a woman named Byron Katie and her website called "The Work" and her YouTube videos as well. Whenever I am in a slump I got to her and her techniques. She really helps you challenge your thoughts and see how you create your own misery in a lot of ways. I am not perfect of course but I am definitely much better than before! With this work I have also let go of guilt I feel about taking time for myself and taking care of me when I need it. I just booked a trip to Vegas with some girlfriends and there is no way I could do that a few years ago!
Huge hugs and all the best!I do think it's human nature to think that the grass is always greener etc.
There are days I do think it would be awesome to work outside the home and have my home just be home. But I love being "the boss" too much to give that up
Josiegirl 04:26 AM 10-23-2015
Been doing this 32 years and there have been days where I've cried because it made me so depressed, days where I felt like running out the door and screaming, days where as soon as the last one walked out the door I'd pour myself a very tall drink. But then I look at all the good stuff that has come from this job, all the smiles, the kids who I have welcomed and cherished and remembered, all that they have taught me instead of the other way around.
I'm an extremely introverted introvert, so this job gets to me a lot. Before I lived alone sometimes it was actually over-the-top stressful and demanding. If you have a family you are always in demand, then you go to bed and you're still in demand. Sorry, but that was sometimes how I felt, just one more chore added to the list. 
You have to remember to always take time for yourself in all the caring for others. AND have a sense of humor!!! Even in the worst of days you can find something to laugh about. (usually) If not, then come here and cry, moan, complain, whine, bit@h, whatever you need to let go of.
And if none of that works, fake it till you make it.
I'm an extremely introverted introvert
, so this job gets to me a lot. Before I lived alone sometimes it was actually over-the-top stressful and demanding. If you have a family you are always in demand, then you go to bed and you're still in demand. Sorry, but that was sometimes how I felt, just one more chore added to the list. You have to remember to always take time for yourself in all the caring for others. AND have a sense of humor!!! Even in the worst of days you can find something to laugh about. (usually)
If not, then come here and cry, moan, complain, whine, bit@h, whatever you need to let go of.And if none of that works, fake it till you make it.
KiddieCahoots 10:11 AM 10-23-2015
A yr and a half ago, I could've written your post.
After 15yrs, I'd hit a huge slump.
What helped me tons, was just being here and relating to others going through the same issues. It was a great releif to realize I was not alone or the only person having similar troubles. Listening and learning from other posts and the great advice given, also helped me put together what I wanted and how to make it happen.
I took a good look at the clients that were coming to me, and realized I had to be more proactive in choosing the right clientele to fit my provider style.
I weeded out the undesirable clients, took my time finding more, and kept my numbers down to 3 for awhile to gave me a small but needed break as well.
Back then I could never have imagined that I'd be this happy again with my job.
Whether you decide to stick it out and make adjustments, or shut you doors, take some time for youself to help clear you mind, and know that you are not alone
After 15yrs, I'd hit a huge slump.
What helped me tons, was just being here and relating to others going through the same issues. It was a great releif to realize I was not alone or the only person having similar troubles. Listening and learning from other posts and the great advice given, also helped me put together what I wanted and how to make it happen.
I took a good look at the clients that were coming to me, and realized I had to be more proactive in choosing the right clientele to fit my provider style.
I weeded out the undesirable clients, took my time finding more, and kept my numbers down to 3 for awhile to gave me a small but needed break as well.
Back then I could never have imagined that I'd be this happy again with my job.
Whether you decide to stick it out and make adjustments, or shut you doors, take some time for youself to help clear you mind, and know that you are not alone
Unregistered 10:13 AM 10-23-2015
Originally Posted by Play Care:
This is so true.
I do think it's human nature to think that the grass is always greener etc.
There are days I do think it would be awesome to work outside the home and have my home just be home. But I love being "the boss" too much to give that up
Tota agree! Negative thinking really affects us!This is so true.
I do think it's human nature to think that the grass is always greener etc.
There are days I do think it would be awesome to work outside the home and have my home just be home. But I love being "the boss" too much to give that up
MarinaVanessa 11:12 AM 10-23-2015
"Provider Burnout" happens alot to many of us at one point or another. A lot of providers feel it helps to have a hobby to look forward to or to just have some persona time to themselves doing non-daycare things.
FOr some this means knitting or volunteering somewhere, for others it's taking a class or something as simple as scheduling a long hot bath while reading a book and drinking a glass of wine. For others, like me, it's deeper than that and do something more in-depth like counseling. Whatever it is it needs to be something that is meaningful to you. Don't forget that although you do daycare it is not who you are ... you are much more than that so do something for you that you enjoy doing and get away from your home if necessary
FOr some this means knitting or volunteering somewhere, for others it's taking a class or something as simple as scheduling a long hot bath while reading a book and drinking a glass of wine. For others, like me, it's deeper than that and do something more in-depth like counseling. Whatever it is it needs to be something that is meaningful to you. Don't forget that although you do daycare it is not who you are ... you are much more than that so do something for you that you enjoy doing and get away from your home if necessary
Unregistered 11:44 AM 10-29-2015
Thank you, Ariana, for your post about Byron Katie's "The Work" and how it helps you with provider stress. I watched several of her videos yesterday and was amazed by how much they helped.
Whenever I start feeling the stress, I ask myself, "Is it true" and usually, it isn't!
Whenever I start feeling the stress, I ask myself, "Is it true" and usually, it isn't!
Ariana 10:57 AM 11-02-2015
Originally Posted by Unregistered:
Thank you, Ariana, for your post about Byron Katie's "The Work" and how it helps you with provider stress. I watched several of her videos yesterday and was amazed by how much they helped.
Whenever I start feeling the stress, I ask myself, "Is it true" and usually, it isn't!
She has literally changed my life!!Thank you, Ariana, for your post about Byron Katie's "The Work" and how it helps you with provider stress. I watched several of her videos yesterday and was amazed by how much they helped.
Whenever I start feeling the stress, I ask myself, "Is it true" and usually, it isn't!