"Big Boy Underwear"

3yr old who has been "potty training" for about 3-4 months now, got dropped off in "big boy underwear"
Mom told him to tell me the "plan"... apparently if he stays dry all day he gets a toy dinosaur at home.
He has never once stayed dry all day, because I refuse to take him every 30 minutes...
My potty training rules-
~NO underwear until he has had two weeks accident free HERE. Pull-up or protective pants are required.
~Child must ask to go on their own, I will not take them every 30 minutes (we do have bathroom breaks every 1.5-2hrs though)
~Child must be able to go to the bathroom, cloth, and wash themselves (or at least close to)
I have told her these things, I have sent home a paper with these things (and some tips)

Do I bother saying anything or just put him in a diaper? I have some rubber pants I could put over his underwear, but only one pair.

[Snowmom]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

3yr old who has been "potty training" for about 3-4 months now, got dropped of in "big boy underwear"
Mom told him to tell me the "plan"... apparently if he stays dry all day he gets a toy dinosaur at home.
He has never once stayed dry all day, because I refuse to take him every 30 minutes...
My potty training rules-
~NO underwear until he has had two weeks accident free HERE. Pull-up or protective pants are required.
~Child must ask to go on their own, I will not take them every 30 minutes (we do have bathroom breaks every 1.5-2hrs though)
~Child must be able to go to the bathroom, cloth, and wash themselves (or at least close to)
I have told her these things, I have sent home a paper with these things (and some tips)

Do I bother saying anything or just put him in a diaper? I have some rubber pants I could put over his underwear, but only one pair.

Yes, say something!

Obviously since you've told them in person and in writing what your policy is, they don't care or feel entitled to do it their own way with no regard for you.

Let them know it's not acceptable and as you've outlined before, training pants are required until X.
If you don't enforce your rules now, they'll continue to break policy, whether it's PT or other rules- once they get special, they'll expect special.

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

3yr old who has been "potty training" for about 3-4 months now, got dropped of in "big boy underwear"
Mom told him to tell me the "plan"... apparently if he stays dry all day he gets a toy dinosaur at home.
He has never once stayed dry all day, because I refuse to take him every 30 minutes...
My potty training rules-
~NO underwear until he has had two weeks accident free HERE. Pull-up or protective pants are required.
~Child must ask to go on their own, I will not take them every 30 minutes (we do have bathroom breaks every 1.5-2hrs though)
~Child must be able to go to the bathroom, cloth, and wash themselves (or at least close to)
I have told her these things, I have sent home a paper with these things (and some tips)

Do I bother saying anything or just put him in a diaper? I have some rubber pants I could put over his underwear, but only one pair.

Do you normally say anything when parents ignore your program policies?

If not, I don't see why this is any different....
I have policies but only those I am willing to enforce and since I don't particularly like urine on my floor.....I would absolutely say something to the parent.....before they attempt to leave the child.

Put him back in a diaper and then reiterate your policies to mom at pick up.

[Gemma]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

Mom told him to tell me the "plan"...

I would have said something to mom right then and there!
You don't need a 3yr old to tell YOU "the plan"!
Mom's aware of your policy and chooses to ignore it, I wouldn't allow it!

[Gemma]

Originally Posted by Blackcat31

Do you normally say anything when parents ignore your program policies?

If not, I don't see why this is any different....
I have policies but only those I am willing to enforce and since I don't particularly like urine on my floor.....I would absolutely say something to the parent.....before they attempt to leave the child.

Put him back in a diaper and then reiterate your policies to mom at pick up.

[Josiegirl]

I'd like to say I'd do exactly what everyone else has said but truthfully, I've been in that exact same situation a few times. Twice it worked out fine, the kids were just ready and that was that. The last time I just knew the twins weren't 'potty trained' and were simply getting their way. When dcm said they'd used the potty all weekend, I asked 'oh? They've been going poop in the potty too?' Dcm....'well no' Alrighty then, put the pull-ups back on. I'm willing to give it a try but the first accident and back on go the diapers.

I guess more is should I say something AGAIN, or just change him into a diaper each day. I suppose I know the answer is to say something, it just obviously isn't working to do so. So tired of this mom pushing the boundaries on everything.
Oh, and before I was able to get him changed this morning, he peed on my floor. Nice.

[Blackcat31]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

I guess more is should I say something AGAIN, or just change him into a diaper each day. I suppose I know the answer is to say something, it just obviously isn't working to do so. So tired of this mom pushing the boundaries on everything.
Oh, and before I was able to get him changed this morning, he peed on my floor. Nice.

Perfect!! Use that to your advantage

When mom shows up for pick up, hand her a bill for floor cleaning.
Tell her she'll get one every time he pees due to not not wearing a diaper.

[Josiegirl]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

I guess more is should I say something AGAIN, or just change him into a diaper each day. I suppose I know the answer is to say something, it just obviously isn't working to do so. So tired of this mom pushing the boundaries on everything.
Oh, and before I was able to get him changed this morning, he peed on my floor. Nice.

Yeh uh no, that wouldn't fly then. Tell dcm she can work on 'the plan' on HER time, you have other children and sanity issues to consider.

Originally Posted by Blackcat31

Perfect!! Use that to your advantage

When mom shows up for pick up, hand her a bill for floor cleaning.
Tell her she'll get one every time he pees due to not not wearing a diaper.

Oh boy would I love the cajones to do that!

[LysesKids]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

Oh boy would I love the cajones to do that!

I gave one family a bill for a new mattress back in 2004 when I took older kids; parents pulled that day lol... at the time we were using Japanese floor futons for naps & little got the cover off of it.

Most my clients were Asian at the time - I & my dd used them, so it was a no brainer, but even cheap ones aren't so cheap

[lovemykidstoo]

Originally Posted by Unregistered

I guess more is should I say something AGAIN, or just change him into a diaper each day. I suppose I know the answer is to say something, it just obviously isn't working to do so. So tired of this mom pushing the boundaries on everything.
Oh, and before I was able to get him changed this morning, he peed on my floor. Nice.

Oh He** no! I have had that mom that sent her kid in underwear and I have the rule too of 2 weeks dry to wear regular underwear. Have an accident and we're back to day 1. If you've told her before and she sent him again in underwear I would say, AGAIN mom, he cannot wear underwear until he's 2 weeks dry. Of course now that he's gone on your floor I would be super ticked and at pick up say, this is why I have the rule! Do not send in underwear again!

The last one I had do something like that was a 3 1/2 yr old drop in. Mom said she was toilet trained. Figured that was true and dcg pee'd on the floor and then fell in it. So, when I get a parent that says they want to send in underwear I use that story.

[lovemykidstoo]

Originally Posted by Blackcat31

Perfect!! Use that to your advantage

When mom shows up for pick up, hand her a bill for floor cleaning.
Tell her she'll get one every time he pees due to not not wearing a diaper.

Yes!!!

[Cat Herder]

"DCM, he cannot come here in underwear until I say so. If you bring him in them again, before I approve it, you will be told to take him home and not return for the day."

If you don't follow your policies they certainly won't.

[AnythingsPossible]

I would say something as she is ignoring your policy, but I hope for your sake that perhaps putting him in regular underwear is beneficial. I have a little guy who turned three in May that we have been working with potty training forever. He just wouldn't tell us or worry if he went in his pull up. Mom and I both decided last week that this week there were no more pull ups, except nap. He had one accident Monday and has had a few at home in the evenings, but other then that he has been fine. Hopefully things may work out with your guy. She should of spoken with you though.

[Cat Herder]

Originally Posted by AnythingsPossible

Mom and I both decided last week that this week there were no more pull ups, except nap.

My clients often do that, too. Typically during their unpaid vacation weeks or when I am closed for vacation. They still have to make it two weeks dry, here, upon return. It has worked very well.

[coloradoprovider]

I do the same - at least 2 weeks dry. I have found it's easiest on everyone when parents try to toilet train during my vacation so that the child and parents can learn the process without distractions (other children's needs, different bathrooms, etc.).
I absolutely won't be the only adult involved in the process. If a parent wants me to "potty train" their child, they have to agree to follow the same procedure I do as outlined in my toilet training policy. Some important requirements before we even begin the process is readiness as outlined in my policy. A child who shows up in underwear with no prior discussion would immediately be put in a diaper and parents would be told - um no, this isn't going to work for me due to sanitation issues.

[Leigh]

Been there. A kid's grandma sent him in underwear, even though his parents agreed that he wasn't ready to train. I put a diaper over the underwear and sent him home with his underwear in a bag with a giant poop still in the underwear. Grandma was grossed out. It happened several times before the parents got her to stop putting underwear on him on her days to drop him off.

I just slide a pullup or diaper over the underwear. If they pee or poop the underwear gets bagged up as it comes off. I tell them they better send me 5 pairs of underwear everyday because I will not wash or rinse anything. Funny enough sometimes it does work for potty training because kids can't stand the wet next to their body. Pull-ups and diaper make them always feel dry so underwear under the pullups work great and I don't have to clean any flooring when they flood.

He had a complete melt down when I told him he wouldn't get the dinosaur because he went in his pants. (though knowing mom he probably will get it anyway) Unfortunately mom didn't pick up today, his babysitter did. I let her know what was going on, but I need to talk to mom about the underwear.

Mom doesn't know yet, but I believe she has only a short time left here. She has paid late the last three weeks (I posted another thread about parents paying late) Payment is due again tomorrow, that will probably determine if she stays...