Would/Do You Give Your Sister Free Daycare?

[small_steps]

My sister mentioned to my mom that she was calling around local daycares in town and I guess she told them that her sister had a daycare...supposedly they were all saying "I can't believe your sister won't give you free daycare"
I'm a little offended. And I did tell her I would do it for $100 per week even though I charge $140 for his age (under 18 months). I do feel bad, but I know that I can't afford to keep him for free. If I were rich and didn't have to worry about finances I would love to keep him but that's not the case.
Am I wrong? Do you guys keep your neices and nephews for free? With him being under 18 months it would limit my numbers and i would have to hire an employee or let a paying child go.

Sorry..I'm kinda venting. It frustrates me that people think everything should be handed to them.

[daycare]

OH heck no.....#1 no DC for family or friends ever....

tahts like saying you can move in rent free.....You will find out who your friends are after you live with them....lol

same thing with child care

[BigMama]

My younger brother and his girlfriend recently had a baby and the comments have already started: "Oh, your sister will "watch" her." "At least your daycare will be free." etc. etc. I am a single guardian of three kids and my child care is my business and income...how could they even think I could do this for free? OP, even if you were "rich" and money was not an issue, I don't think you should feel obligated to do it for free. I think it was even VERY generous of you to offer your sister a great discount.

[nannyde]

Originally Posted by small_steps

supposedly they were all saying "I can't believe your sister won't give you free daycare"

It's free to have an opinion about other people's money.

[small_steps]

Originally Posted by nannyde

It's free to have an opinion about other people's money.

Well I'd like to tell them what they can do with their opinion! lol but you're right they can say that all they want but it's not their pocketbooks it will hurt. I'm a single mom to 3 boys with no child support or any other financial help coming in. I do well for myself but I have worked hard to get here.

Sorry yall if I'm coming across upset..but I am! This frustrates me, especially because she is blabbing it to other daycares in town. Why is that anyone else's business.

[nannyde]

Originally Posted by small_steps

Well I'd like to tell them what they can do with their opinion! lol but you're right they can say that all they want but it's not their pocketbooks it will hurt. I'm a single mom to 3 boys with no child support or any other financial help coming in. I do well for myself but I have worked hard to get here.

Sorry yall if I'm coming across upset..but I am! This frustrates me, especially because she is blabbing it to other daycares in town. Why is that anyone else's business.

If they feel so generous to offer free care, I'm sure your sister would love to partake in their generosity. If they feel so strongly about your sister getting free then they should do it because you won't. That's the right thing to do when you feel so strongly.

Tell your sister to call them back and tell them that you are so stingy you won't do free and ask them if they could do free for her.

You know there is a chance nobody said that or the ones who did have been in the business for five minutes.

Don't offer the discounted rate. It takes a special person to do family, friends, and neighbors. Are you that special?

[Christian Mother]

My little sister used to use me...I had conditions though and I did expect to be paid as i am only allowed 4 slots. She lasted a couple of months bc she exspected to leave my niece how ever long she wanted and pay when ever she wanted. I didn't allow it...I wouldn't allow it for anyone not even my own sister. I told her that she will need to get used to this as this is how daycares are ran..I am prim example. To be honest...I wonder if any daycare would really say that bc we all know that families are so hard to deal with in daycare...helping help is one thing free daycare is a whole nother thing...

[e.j.]

I watched my niece. I'm licensed for 6 and couldn't afford to give up a slot for free but I did disount her tuition rate. I can't imagine my brother/sil would have expected me to do it for free even if I could have afforded it.

[Michael]

Originally Posted by daycare

OH heck no.....#1 no DC for family or friends ever....

tahts like saying you can move in rent free.....You will find out who your friends are after you live with them....lol

same thing with child care

...and you will find out who really is "family". Family expectations can be destructive. Try not to let family manipulate you through guilt.

[Sunchimes]

Sure, I'd do it for my sister, but she'd pay double rate for the aggravation I know would follow.

[saved4always]

I would never watch my sister's or my husband's siblings' kids for free during my daycare hours, unless there was truly a family emergency (like someone died) and there was absolutely no one else who could take them. And then it would not be a regular thing. Daytime hours are my business hours and does not include doing favors for family, especially if it would mean giving up a paying spot due to number of kids allowed. If they needed a favor on the weekend or some evening outside of daycare hours, I would consider doing it for free if I did not have plans.

[daycare]

Originally Posted by Michael

...and you will find out who really is "family". Family expectations can be destructive. Try not to let family manipulate you through guilt.

Yes yes yes this....

I think that is what I meant...lol

When a family comes to you for childcare, it always comes with "Special"
Right...

I would not even watch family or friends for pay...they always think that they don't have to follow your rules.

They think It's ok to be 20 min late everyday for pick up, they wont mind because they are friends or family.....

[saved4always]

Originally Posted by Sunchimes

Sure, I'd do it for my sister, but she'd pay double rate for the aggravation I know would follow.

Yes, this would be for my sister, too!!!!!

[Live and Learn]

....Kind of a bummer that your sis would tell your mom that and even worse that your mom would pass it on to you......even IF your sis was told that. Seems hard to believe that she was told that though.

My sis and I have exchanged watching each other's kids but NEVER full time for free. Your rates are already very very reasonable.

In light of the babysitting gossip with sis/mom I wouldn't do daycare for your sis. Sounds like a can of worms.

[itlw8]

I need to call my sister and tell her how great she is. My sisters would do anything for me. I had her kids p/t when she needed me Luckily I did not have to count them in my ratio. she never took advantage. I did do favors outside of business hours and she would come sub for me for free.

I guess I need to thank my Mother also for teaching us how to get along.

[sharlan]

IF it was a situation where your sister was having severe financial problems AND IF it wouldn't have a negative impact on your finances or your relationship with your sister, I would say do it.

Otherwise, let her look for daycare on her own AND pay for it.

I've read too many stories here to see how fast things take a turn for the worse.

[dave4him]

Hahahahahah. No

[daycare]

Originally Posted by dave4him

Hahahahahah. No

Lol. Didn't even have to think about it did you??

Lol too funny!!

[cheerfuldom]

I know that if my sister was working a regular job, she would expect me to take her daughter for free. She has said that other relatives should help out for free (and they do). Thankfully, she works only about 10 hours a week and she brings her daughter to work so we have never had this convo in real life (but no, I would not do free care on a regular basis). She did work as my assistant for awhile and that was a really bad idea....but I didnt know any better at the time and like a dummy, trusted that she would not take advantage of the situation. Now she still makes comments about how hard I was to work for and blah, blah, blah......

[littlemissmuffet]

My number 1 rule is no family, no friends, no neighbors! I make an exception to this rule for my sister (I have her son PT) but ONLY because she also runs a home daycare... so she's my best daycare parent, lol. She pays me my regular rate, no discounts... and she doesn't expect one!

[Meyou]

I watched my niece for 4 years for full price. I'll be watching my new niece or nephew under the same terms as anyone else once they are 12 months too. We agreed from the beginning they would sign as normal clients and we would stick to the contract. The only condition we had that was different was that occasionally they would both work late so when I closed I would switch to Aunty for an hour or two. Since I would have been the one they asked to pick their dd up somewhere else when they both work late I didn't mind giving them this exception.

We agreed before we started that during my business hours ALL rules apply the same as for everyone else but after hours I turned into Aunty so they could always ask if Aunty could keep her longer or on weekends. It worked for us because they were equally willing to take my dd's on off hours as I was to have theirs.

OP, it wouldn't be for free. For me, taking a FT time child for "free" actually means I need to cut $7500 out of my yearly budget or approx $650/month since I lose the potential to earn that income. Maybe explaining it to family in those terms will make them understand what free actually costs you.

[SunshineMama]

Originally Posted by small_steps

My sister mentioned to my mom that she was calling around local daycares in town and I guess she told them that her sister had a daycare...supposedly they were all saying "I can't believe your sister won't give you free daycare"
I'm a little offended. And I did tell her I would do it for $100 per week even though I charge $140 for his age (under 18 months). I do feel bad, but I know that I can't afford to keep him for free. If I were rich and didn't have to worry about finances I would love to keep him but that's not the case.
Am I wrong? Do you guys keep your neices and nephews for free? With him being under 18 months it would limit my numbers and i would have to hire an employee or let a paying child go.

Sorry..I'm kinda venting. It frustrates me that people think everything should be handed to them.

I would only do it if I were financially able to, AND if my sister were not financially able to find quality care.

[small_steps]

Originally Posted by Meyou

I watched my niece for 4 years for full price. I'll be watching my new niece or nephew under the same terms as anyone else once they are 12 months too. We agreed from the beginning they would sign as normal clients and we would stick to the contract. The only condition we had that was different was that occasionally they would both work late so when I closed I would switch to Aunty for an hour or two. Since I would have been the one they asked to pick their dd up somewhere else when they both work late I didn't mind giving them this exception.

We agreed before we started that during my business hours ALL rules apply the same as for everyone else but after hours I turned into Aunty so they could always ask if Aunty could keep her longer or on weekends. It worked for us because they were equally willing to take my dd's on off hours as I was to have theirs.

OP, it wouldn't be for free. For me, taking a FT time child for "free" actually means I need to cut $7500 out of my yearly budget or approx $650/month since I lose the potential to earn that income. Maybe explaining it to family in those terms will make them understand what free actually costs you.

Yes...I probably will explain it to her in those terms, however, she would never come to me and tell me any of that. She talks to everyone else about it. My mom said she was going to tell her. We are having difficulty with my sister now anyway. She is going through a rough time (just becoming a single parent because her and the baby's father have split up). I would love to help her and I agree with what someone else on here said "family should help one another". And I think that should be the case. My sister has not babysat my own children in 2 years since she became pregnant with her son, and even before that it was very rare and I paid her $10/hour to do it. She has her license to do hair and she never cuts mine or my children's or even my mom's for free (even though she does her friends for free) so I guess I'm just thinking what goes around comes around. Mean...maybe but hopefully she will learn a lesson.
Now I did tell her to go get on CCMS (our state funded assistance) and I do take that so she could've brought my nephew here and only paid a small copay but she waited and put it off and never did. Unfortunately our state assistance has a very low budget at this time and they aren't taking on any new clients throughout the year.

[small_steps]

Originally Posted by itlw8

I need to call my sister and tell her how great she is. My sisters would do anything for me. I had her kids p/t when she needed me Luckily I did not have to count them in my ratio. she never took advantage. I did do favors outside of business hours and she would come sub for me for free.

I guess I need to thank my Mother also for teaching us how to get along.

My mom tried. My sister is just too much like my dad and I'm too much like my mom (they've been divorced for 20+ years. I'm the responsible one that goes out and does what needs to be done and she is the one that needs things done for her.
But in this case I'm not going to take care of her. I'm always loaning money or paying her bill for her. I can't afford to do it. And yes...it takes potentially $500 out of my pocket every month. That's a lot of money that myself and my own children need.
You're lucky if your sister doesn't take advantage of you. Count your blessings

[Kaddidle Care]

Your childcare business is just that - it's a business. Tell your sister you never mix business with pleasure.

Explain to her why you are doing this - to be home with your children and to earn money so that you can stay home with your children.

Encourage her to stay home with her child.

There are too many out there that push out a baby and can't wait to get on with their lives. They have no interest in being parents and while it keeps many of you in business, the whole "I HAVE to work" thing is over used.

If you have to work, then think twice about having children. They are not accessories to show off on weekends.

[CheekyChick]

Since I would have to buy all of his food/curriculum/art supplies, I would charge him half the normal rate.

[bunnyslippers]

I have my nephew here this year, and I can honestly say it has done terrible things to my relationship with my sister-in-law. He is a nightmare of a baby, and is spoiled rotten. She acts as though he is the only child I care for. She makes digs all the time about my contract, my closings, having to pay when he isn't here, and even questioned me about a bruise he had on him bottom in front of my whole family last weekend at dinner. I went a bit nuts on her for that one....

I have asked them to look for new care for next year. She is constantly late, or early, and takes forever to leave at the end of the day. I just told them that I really need to keep to my contracted hours and that it seems like my program isn't the best fit. I can't WAIT for them to leave!!!!!!!

[cheerfuldom]

Originally Posted by Kaddidle Care

Your childcare business is just that - it's a business. Tell your sister you never mix business with pleasure.

Explain to her why you are doing this - to be home with your children and to earn money so that you can stay home with your children.

Encourage her to stay home with her child.

There are too many out there that push out a baby and can't wait to get on with their lives. They have no interest in being parents and while it keeps many of you in business, the whole "I HAVE to work" thing is over used.

If you have to work, then think twice about having children. They are not accessories to show off on weekends.

The OP just said that this sister is a single parents, right? I don't think the bolded is an option. Yes we all know working parents that dont have the time for their own kids but I don't think it is fair at all to say "If you have to work, then think twice about having children".....EVERYONE should take the decision for more kids seriously, regardless of their job AND being a working parent and being a good parent are not mutually exclusive.

[itlw8]

Originally Posted by small_steps

My mom tried. My sister is just too much like my dad and I'm too much like my mom (they've been divorced for 20+ years. I'm the responsible one that goes out and does what needs to be done and she is the one that needs things done for her.
But in this case I'm not going to take care of her. I'm always loaning money or paying her bill for her. I can't afford to do it. And yes...it takes potentially $500 out of my pocket every month. That's a lot of money that myself and my own children need.
You're lucky if your sister doesn't take advantage of you. Count your blessings

Oh I am counting would I take your sister? no would I loan her money? not if she does not pay it back

[Lilbutterflie]

Rule #1 of doing Home Daycare- NEVER do business with friends or family!! You risk those relationships forever.

I have done business with my sis-in-law before. This is an interesting one b/c I have been on BOTH sides! First, she was the one with the daycare and I was the working mom. We NEVER would have asked her for free childcare b/c we realized this was her business. We paid her exactly what everyone else paid her. It worked out well, I think. She never expressed any concerns about anything. And I always thought she was a great childcare provider to my children.

Then the tides changed. She ended up going to work full time in the corporate world, and about the same time I decided to open up my own daycare. I started taking care of my two nieces and nephew. The children were fine, I never had any issues with them. But my sis-in-law very rarely paid on time. There were lots of issues with late and early pick up times and drop off times whenever my brother-in-law was supposed to pick them up. She still owes me money to this day, hundreds, for payments she missed with me. That is not including any late fees b/c I decided not to charge her late fees. At first I kept reminding her about it, but then I just gave up. I'll never see that money, and I know it. It's alright. I learned my lesson. We are just lucky our family relationship survived it.

Please Please Please do not do business with your sister! Explain to her that you have received some great advice to never do business with family, and you've decided to follow it. That you are concerned that your relationship will not survive it, and it's more important to you than being available to her to "help her out". If she is a decent friend and sister, she will completely understand. If not, it's better for her to have a grudge against you for valuing your relationship than BOTH of you hating and resenting each other down the road.

[lilcupcakes09]

I watch my brother and his gf's child, they do pay a reduced rate, $120 and the normal is $170, but he fills up one of my infant spots. They are also one of my biggest headache families, I think it is because we are related and most of the dealings are done with his gf so I can't speak to her like I would my Brother. All the same rules/ policies apply to them also though as all other dc families. They however never expected free care becuase that wasnt happening!

[bgmeyers]

I think they should pay you even more than your normal rate. They are getting someone with a built in bond, they know you are a good provider and they get that added peace of mind that their child is being extremely well taken care of.
What are you getting out of it? It's really hard to wear the Auntie hat and the daycare provider hat at the same time.

[Blackcat31]

Once again I am odd duck! LOL!! I have and do provide care for friends and family

....But...... I am open (blunt) enough to tell them all up front what my rules and expectations are of them as far as behaviors and payments go. I make it VERY clear to them that this is my business just as my friend (who has two kids in care) does not give me free hair cuts and colors (she is a stylist) and my brother didn't roof my house for free either (he is a roofer).

When I start out explaining things that way...they get it.

I did have one friend who bartered his daycare services. I provided X amount of dollars in child care and he provided X amount of hours tiling my floors when we built our house.

So although it wasn't free, we did not exchange actual money (we did assign a money value though so each of us could claim it on our taxes...we are both self-employed).

I also once provided child care services for a snowmobile (same terms as above) LOL!!

[blessingsbunch]

Originally Posted by small_steps

Well I'd like to tell them what they can do with their opinion! lol but you're right they can say that all they want but it's not their pocketbooks it will hurt. I'm a single mom to 3 boys with no child support or any other financial help coming in. I do well for myself but I have worked hard to get here.

Sorry yall if I'm coming across upset..but I am! This frustrates me, especially because she is blabbing it to other daycares in town. Why is that anyone else's business.

Ask her if any of them felt sorry enough for her to give her free daycare!

[Ariana]

Hellz to the NO!! I really don't care who it is they don't get service for free! I wouldn't mind if it was once in a while if school was cancelled or PD days but regular day in and day out will be paid! I'm taking my niece in September and my sister already knows I'm charging and how strict I am.

[Kaddidle Care]

Originally Posted by cheerfuldom

The OP just said that this sister is a single parents, right? I don't think the bolded is an option. Yes we all know working parents that dont have the time for their own kids but I don't think it is fair at all to say "If you have to work, then think twice about having children".....EVERYONE should take the decision for more kids seriously, regardless of their job AND being a working parent and being a good parent are not mutually exclusive.

I didn't see that. We posted approximately at the same time.

You are right in that EVERYONE should take having children more seriously.

I just don't want to see another sweet Childcare provider get taken advantage of.

[familyschoolcare]

I would not watch either of my sisters children for free. In my family that is what our mother (grandma) is for. She watch both sets of grandchildren at least once a week.

[wdmmom]

I wouldn't do anything for free....especially childcare.

I don't have to worry much about it though. Neither one of my sisters work and 1 lives an hour away and the other lives 3 hours away.

[small_steps]

Well problem solved. We had a knock down drag out fight through text messages today. yes she will not talk to me on the phone when she is mad at me. I told her what I felt and she chewed me and my mom out. She thinks my parents do everything for me. She has always felt this way. I think she thinks this because I rent from my parents but I pay them almost $1000 every month for my homee. WHen she rented from them she never paid on time if at all so I guess she thinks I'm getting a break and therefore so should she. Oh well, she will get over it I guess.

[Breezy]

Not going to lie, I would do it for free for my sister if I could afford it. She would never ask or expect it though.