Hello! I have a 4 year old dcg who LOVES her naps but her parents don't want her napping anymore. I try to keep her awake but every day it's a struggle.
We watch movies, she brings a tablet to play on, and I have quiet activities for her. Does anyone have any other suggestions on ways to keep her awake?
Thank you!

Reply

I would not do this. I would suggest they pick her up before nap! That always works for me

Reply

I don't provide service to children who don't need a full afternoon nap. I don't have it built into my fees. If I had a kid up at nap I would have to hire out an adult to supervise them as it is my break.

Reply

My only suggestion is if she loves to nap then she probably needs it! Why are the parents against it? Lots of kids that age still take and need naps!

Reply

What if you come to a compromise with the parents and tell them you'll offer her things to keep her busy, as long as she's quiet, but this time during the day is quiet time for everyone, including her. If she chooses to sleep, you're not going to change that. They still nap when they're at preschool all day. Are they looking to get her home, feed her, and tuck her into bed?
Sorry but I wouldn't comply either.

Reply

"If DCG has outgrown naps, then she has outgrown my care. I'll date your two week notice for Friday?"

I actually don't mind a child who has truly outgrown a nap and can be quiet while others sleep. Usually this is my SA kids though. But I refuse to entertain a child to keep them up. My days are long enough thankyouverymuch.

Reply

I would give her a couple of books and leave her to her own devices (as in, she can read them and stay awake OR she can go to sleep). I'm legally required to offer a rest time to my children after being in care a certain number of hours. If they are still awake after 1 hour, then they get an alternate activity.

Reply

We are required to provide a place to rest, for kids under schoolage.
For kids who are outgrowing naps (and I do NOT mean the two-year-old!) I set out their cots and a small 3 drawer plastic chest. Drawer 1 is art supplies, usually markers and paper, but other things depending on how well they handle them if I am not right there. Drawer 2 is toys, like puzzles, games, vinyl animals, matching rhyming or alphabet cards, etc. Drawer 3 is books, including toy or book catalogs (my kids love those!)
Any voice above whispering, any inappropriate anything, and their cot moves to the main playroom where everyone else sleeps for the remainder of nap.
The room I use is next to the playroom but has no door so I hang a curtain on a tension rod to provide a visual separation so the younger kids can get to sleep.

Reply

I also would not keep her up. It is written into my contract that all children in my care during nap time will lay down and rest. If the parents didn't want that, then they would have to make sure their child was not here during nap time.

This school year I moved my nap time to after breakfast instead of after lunch. I did this for a lot of reasons, one being that the children were coming here tired and crabby, so it was all we could do to get to lunch/nap time. There was no productive play or learning time accomplished prior to nap. It has worked out great for my program, we have such happy days now. One side benefit is that parents have stopped complaining about nap. Their children are all ready for bed at 7:00 (which was the time they were all going to bed prior to the change, but they weren't tired so they were fighting it for hours…). What I notice now, however, is that the parents are complaining about how early the children get up in the morning (which they, luckily, have not blamed on nap time). They are all up by 5:00 am, when the parents complain, I say, "what time did he/she go to bed?" and the parent always replies with 6:30/7:00 (:/) and then I shrug and say, "That is 10/10 and a half hours. How long do you think they can go without eating or using the bathroom?" Parents want their children to come home, eat dinner, and then go to bed without a fuss. They also want their children to sleep until right before it is time for daycare. Since I am only open 10 hours a day, and children are not going to sleep for 13/14 hours a night, they cannot have both of these things. They can spend time with their children in the evening, or in the mornings, or in the middle of the night, but they will have to spend time with their children. The children here have not changed the amount of time they are napping, just the amount of time between nap and going home and going to bed. I couldn't change the parent's bedtime schedule, so I changed the schedule here.

Reply

I ignore parents when they ask me to keep their kids up. The child is my priority, not the parents agenda. They think the nap interferes with night sleep but it doesn't. I would let her sleep and tell them that my policy states that children nap here. A non napping child will NEVER fall asleep no matter how long they stay in their beds. My own two kids dropped their naps but still got one hour of quiet time in their beds with the lights off. They never fell asleep.

Reply

Obviously most daycare providers/programs don't offer that option but since you do and asked for suggestions with that, I'd suggest going to the parents for ideas.

I am sure they can come up with ways to help keep DCG occupied for quiet time.

Do they expect you to wake her if she does fall asleep?
Do you actively have to keep her awake? If so, maybe approach the issue of struggling to stay awake to the parents and ask them what they want you to do.

I am in the same boat as the others and don't offer alternate activities during our designated rest period so I have no suggestions other than to take it to the top (parents).

Good luck! It is definitely hard when you are a group provider expected to fulfill individual needs.

Reply

Thank you for your help everyone!
I had it written in my contract that there is a rest period every day and I assumed people would understand that all children must rest. I was wrong and I have now updated it to say that if a child has outgrown nap they have outgrown my program.
I really like this family and since the girl will be leaving in September I'd rather not term.
I am actively keeping her awake- something I will never do with future daycare children. I have talked to the mother about the situation and she hasn't been able to think of any other ways to keep her daughter awake. I think at home on weekends her older siblings keep her engaged enough that it isn't an issue.
Thanks again :-D

Reply

I just did the same thing recently. It is fabulous. I don't have cranky little monsters most days. We were all miserable when we tried to make it to lunch. Now they sleep from 10-12:30 and we have a happy day after that.

Reply

What we have done here is the child rests for the first hour and then we wake them for the second hour for quiet activities (books, puzzles). Its worked well so this way the child is still getting the hour that they need and the parents are happier as they aren't sleeping for two hours.

Reply

I gave in to a parent and have a 2 year old that doesn't nap. Mom insists he doesn't nap at home and napping at daycare is causing problems with his sleeping. I am really doubting that he isn't sleeping on the weekend since everyday now he is falling alseep on my couch during quiet time. I warned the mom that the sleep problem would still happen that he would just adapt to no nap and fight her still at bedtime. nope she wouldn't listen.

I also have a 3 year old same thing. Since the 2 year old was going to be awake I kept up the 3 year old since she didn't nap at home. Well now there are 2 kids sound asleep on the couch. Well starting today I changed what I am doing. I put out cots for the 2 kids that are falling asleep in the daycare room. If they start falling asleep I whisk them off to the daycare room for nap. I am not going to keep nagging at the kids for 2-3 hours to wake up. And I am not telling parents they napped.

Reply

I think morning nap is an AWESOME idea! I have a 2 yo who falls asleep before lunch at least once a week. What I wonder, though, is how was the transition to morning nap? I think a morning nap would be easier for me and for these kids who get SO tired before naptime. Do all of the kids do well with this time? I think I am going to give it a try starting Monday, and ask the parents to help transition over the weekend.

Reply

One thing I've learned is that just because I've agreed to do something doesn't mean I can't change my mind. I would have a chat with the parents, tell them you've tried it but it isn't working. That you will set her up for quiet time, in front of the tv, and if she falls asleep, she falls asleep but you will not wake her until rest period is over. (or whatever you are prepared to do, whether it is tv or quiet activities). When I had a non-napper, I set her up in the living room on a blanket with a basket of items. It went over like a lead balloon and now I will never do that again.

Pick a compromise and present it to dcm. She will probably be ok with that. If she isn't, you have to decide whether or not you are willing to do this for 5.5 more months. If you are, great. If not, I would term, stating that the child has outgrown your program.

Reply

I know this isn't pc but I don't care. I just say 'okay' to parents and smile and then nap them anyway. I swear I never hear another thing about it. As long as they think they are not napping, it is fine. All of a sudden they can sleep great at night. Wonder of wonders. I've also had success with putting them down as little as a half hour later than everyone else. We can stall a half hour and no one notices. That seemed to help when I did it once and told the parent that I am giving them a shorter nap. It's only a half hour but they don't know that.

Let the flaming begin.

Reply

I always respond back that if a child isn't tired, they would not rest, especially on Mondays. Mondays EVERY ONE of my kids is good for a 1/2 hour morning rest (about half even sleep) and a 2-3 hour PM rest. They are EXHAUSTED from running ragged all weekend and late bedtimes.

Parents very rarely do what is best for kids- they do what is best for them. (Which is unfortunate, but true) kids need face time with their parents, they need 1:1 time after dinner- they need playing or outside before a bath and story and bed. They need consistency with routine (even on weekends, to a certain extent) they need loving discipline.

IF they get those things, bedtime is a non-issue. I find most kids who fight bedtime are the kids who don't spend any time with the parent, have no discipline and use bedtime as an attention/control seeking time.

Reply

My transition was seamless. The children were all very tired, which is why I switched in the first place, and especially so on Mondays, so no issues there. When they were napping after lunch they were falling asleep the minute they laid down and sleeping a solid three hours. Now they take 15 to 20 minutes to fall asleep and sleep one and half to two hours (except Mondays, which is still an immediate sleep and a three hour nap). The parents are happy because the children go right to sleep at bedtime, but again, they are up early (because they have slept as long as they are going to sleep at one time!!!) which just helps here for the early nap. It is the best thing I have ever done in my program. I have happy children to work and play with all afternoon, and the parents have stopped making little comments about nap time (no one ever out right asked me not to nap their child because they knew from the start that it was non-negotiable).

Reply

Pretty much what I have done . I know much more about sleep and children than the vast majority of parents so I make the call. Now I am very upfront about it with parents. I tell them flat out that I do not keep kids awake under any circumstance. They can take it or leave it. I had one parent who would drag her kid all over the place any time there was a long weekend or a break in care. The kid wouldn't sleep for nap and then her night sleep would be thrown off. The dad asked me to cut down on her nap so she would go down better at night. I explained all about how sleep works and how this was their fault. I said give me a week of her napping here and night sleep will sort itself out, which it did.

Reply

For those of you who fudge the truth, what do you say if the parents ask outright "How long did my child nap today?"
This dcm asks every day if dcg napped and if so for how long.

Reply

I actually have two 4 yo's now who I suspect don't actually nap. They are allowed books and quiet toys on their mats. I glance in every 15 minutes but I'm not timing sleep, so I could truthfully answer that I didn't know.

That said, with a parent who asked constantly they'd probably get a "rest time is 12-2, please refer to your contract/handbook" and I'd do the broken record and just keep repeating variations of that answer.

Reply

Whatever I think the parent wants to hear. If an hour and a half will please them then I'd say "Oh about an hour and a half or so." Or an hour or whatever. Sometimes change it up with "I put her down at 1:00 but she was kind of restless and woke up a few times I think." Or general things like "Nobody slept well today, what a day!"

If they asked everyday, I'd act busy and wouldn't answer them the first time or change the subject. Then I'd answer if they'd ask a second time. That would be just to give the hint that this question every day is getting old.

Reply