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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>At My Wit's End With Non-Napper- HELP!
Lilbutterflie 09:06 AM 03-16-2012
Hi ladies!
Yes, it's another napping vent! Any suggestions are welcome as I am completely at my wit's end.
I have had a DCG for 7 months now. She is now 9 mos. I think I have had a total of three weeks where she has napped well for me. Typically, she has no trouble falling asleep. Sometimes cries for 5-10 min, but mostly goes right to sleep. My problem is getting her to STAY asleep for longer than 30 to 45 minutes. I have tried EVERYTHING you guys. I am VERY consistent. Starting at about 5 months of age, I have let her just cry it out. I make sure she isn't poopy, and let her cry until naptime is over. Sometimes she cries herself back to sleep at the very end of naptime, sometimes not. I have a sleep sheep, doesn't help. I have a white noise CD, doesn't help.
At about 7 months of age, when she started fully sleeping through the night; she finally started sleeping about an hour and a half each nap and she was a totally different baby!! I started to really enjoy her instead of listening to her crying and whining all day long from lack of sleep.
Then, she started teething about a month ago, and we went back to square one. She is getting a total of 1 hr to 2 hrs sleep TOTAL during a 10 hour period with me. It is NOT enough! She is super cranky all the time; and I am just beside myself b/c I cannot handle it anymore. I am actually thinking about terming b/c I am so unhappy and frustrated. She isn't happy either.
Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated! Thanks!
Yes, it's another napping vent! Any suggestions are welcome as I am completely at my wit's end.
I have had a DCG for 7 months now. She is now 9 mos. I think I have had a total of three weeks where she has napped well for me. Typically, she has no trouble falling asleep. Sometimes cries for 5-10 min, but mostly goes right to sleep. My problem is getting her to STAY asleep for longer than 30 to 45 minutes. I have tried EVERYTHING you guys. I am VERY consistent. Starting at about 5 months of age, I have let her just cry it out. I make sure she isn't poopy, and let her cry until naptime is over. Sometimes she cries herself back to sleep at the very end of naptime, sometimes not. I have a sleep sheep, doesn't help. I have a white noise CD, doesn't help.
At about 7 months of age, when she started fully sleeping through the night; she finally started sleeping about an hour and a half each nap and she was a totally different baby!! I started to really enjoy her instead of listening to her crying and whining all day long from lack of sleep.
Then, she started teething about a month ago, and we went back to square one. She is getting a total of 1 hr to 2 hrs sleep TOTAL during a 10 hour period with me. It is NOT enough! She is super cranky all the time; and I am just beside myself b/c I cannot handle it anymore. I am actually thinking about terming b/c I am so unhappy and frustrated. She isn't happy either.
Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated! Thanks!
cheerfuldom 10:10 AM 03-16-2012
I'd give it one more go of consistent CIO. If you have to, check on her and tuck her back in over and over until she sleeps sufficiently. anybody that wakes up crying and cranky here goes back to bed, period. Even my 4 year old says "crybabies go back to bed!". I would use a darkened room by herself with the white noise. I had one really tough cookie that had to do CIO for a week and spent a lot of time in the PNP....this was a last ditch effort before terming. She finally gave in and napped and thank God for that!
countrymom 10:39 AM 03-16-2012
what is your schedual for her and then we can help you.
My3cents 11:08 AM 03-16-2012
I feel for you.
I have a 40 minute napper. He wakes up and talks and is good to go. He has always fought sleep, both home and here.
Because of this child. I feel some kids are just wired differently then others. He is last one down and first one up. Super smart. I think he is afraid to miss out on something going on.
My nappers are all in one room, my daycare is open floor. I do sleep music, fan, today the vacuum running did the trick.
I watch him and its like his little body can't stop, wind down- no matter. He twist and turns and his feet are always moving. Never been one to let me rock him. His brain is turning to be one step ahead of everyone else. Early walker, smart little guy.
What I do is when he wakes up, I give him books to talk too and it works for a little bit, but it is very draining.
NanDe has good ideas-
Good luck-
I too put up with it for a long time, so long that I felt it was silly to start complaining about it now and to just commit to making it work. He can't help it. It is his body and the way he works. Love the little bugger too, and his parents.
I believe children need good naps but this one is pill.
I have a 40 minute napper. He wakes up and talks and is good to go. He has always fought sleep, both home and here.
Because of this child. I feel some kids are just wired differently then others. He is last one down and first one up. Super smart. I think he is afraid to miss out on something going on.
My nappers are all in one room, my daycare is open floor. I do sleep music, fan, today the vacuum running did the trick.
I watch him and its like his little body can't stop, wind down- no matter. He twist and turns and his feet are always moving. Never been one to let me rock him. His brain is turning to be one step ahead of everyone else. Early walker, smart little guy.
What I do is when he wakes up, I give him books to talk too and it works for a little bit, but it is very draining.
NanDe has good ideas-
Good luck-
I too put up with it for a long time, so long that I felt it was silly to start complaining about it now and to just commit to making it work. He can't help it. It is his body and the way he works. Love the little bugger too, and his parents.
I believe children need good naps but this one is pill.
Lilbutterflie 11:23 AM 03-16-2012
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
I'd give it one more go of consistent CIO. If you have to, check on her and tuck her back in over and over until she sleeps sufficiently. anybody that wakes up crying and cranky here goes back to bed, period. Even my 4 year old says "crybabies go back to bed!". I would use a darkened room by herself with the white noise. I had one really tough cookie that had to do CIO for a week and spent a lot of time in the PNP....this was a last ditch effort before terming. She finally gave in and napped and thank God for that!
This is what I do- Every. Single. Day. For four weeks straight since she stopped napping well again. Like I said, in the SEVEN months I've had her- I've really only had about 3-4 weeks (from the age of 7 mos old to 8 mos old) where she has napped decently. As I am typing this she is screaming because she woke up 25 minutes after falling asleep and wants to get up. I am so frustrated. I just don't think I can handle it any longer.I'd give it one more go of consistent CIO. If you have to, check on her and tuck her back in over and over until she sleeps sufficiently. anybody that wakes up crying and cranky here goes back to bed, period. Even my 4 year old says "crybabies go back to bed!". I would use a darkened room by herself with the white noise. I had one really tough cookie that had to do CIO for a week and spent a lot of time in the PNP....this was a last ditch effort before terming. She finally gave in and napped and thank God for that!
Lilbutterflie 11:30 AM 03-16-2012
Originally Posted by countrymom:
what is your schedual for her and then we can help you.
Her schedule goes like this:what is your schedual for her and then we can help you.
7:45am- Arrival. Goes straight to high chair to eat breakfast which is usually little finger foods like plain pancake and bananas, etc...
8:15am - 9:00am- Play. Crawling, pulling herself up, etc... Sometimes the jumper, too.
9:00am-11:00am- Naptime. Usually is awake by 9:30-9:45 and plays/cries until 11:00.
11:00am: 8oz bottle
11:00am-12:00pm- Play. Crawling, pulling herself up, etc... Sometimes the jumper, or exersaucer. Sometimes outdoor play during this time as well.
12:00am- Lunch. Finger foods or baby food.
12:00pm-12:45pm- Play. Same as described above.
12:45-2:45pm: Naptime. Usually is awake by 1:15pm and plays/cries until 2:45. Occasionally will cry herself back to sleep (maybe 2-3 times per week) and will sleep about 40 add'l minutes.
2:45pm-5:45pm: Play, outdoor play, walks around the neighborhood until her mom picks her up. From about 4pm until 5:45pm she is absolutely unbearable. If I try to put her back down for a 3rd nap- she screams like I have never heard a baby scream before. I have tried CIO for this and it has never worked. I cannot get her to take a third nap ever.
SunshineMama 11:37 AM 03-16-2012
Originally Posted by Lilbutterflie:
Hi ladies!
Yes, it's another napping vent! Any suggestions are welcome as I am completely at my wit's end.
I have had a DCG for 7 months now. She is now 9 mos. I think I have had a total of three weeks where she has napped well for me. Typically, she has no trouble falling asleep. Sometimes cries for 5-10 min, but mostly goes right to sleep. My problem is getting her to STAY asleep for longer than 30 to 45 minutes. I have tried EVERYTHING you guys. I am VERY consistent. Starting at about 5 months of age, I have let her just cry it out. I make sure she isn't poopy, and let her cry until naptime is over. Sometimes she cries herself back to sleep at the very end of naptime, sometimes not. I have a sleep sheep, doesn't help. I have a white noise CD, doesn't help.
At about 7 months of age, when she started fully sleeping through the night; she finally started sleeping about an hour and a half each nap and she was a totally different baby!! I started to really enjoy her instead of listening to her crying and whining all day long from lack of sleep.
Then, she started teething about a month ago, and we went back to square one. She is getting a total of 1 hr to 2 hrs sleep TOTAL during a 10 hour period with me. It is NOT enough! She is super cranky all the time; and I am just beside myself b/c I cannot handle it anymore. I am actually thinking about terming b/c I am so unhappy and frustrated. She isn't happy either.
Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated! Thanks!
My dd was like that. She even got "termed" from her daycare provider because of it (hence, me becoming a provider). Her doc said that she is in the 10% of babies for which CIO doesnt work. I finally got her to nap well. This is what I had to do:Hi ladies!
Yes, it's another napping vent! Any suggestions are welcome as I am completely at my wit's end.
I have had a DCG for 7 months now. She is now 9 mos. I think I have had a total of three weeks where she has napped well for me. Typically, she has no trouble falling asleep. Sometimes cries for 5-10 min, but mostly goes right to sleep. My problem is getting her to STAY asleep for longer than 30 to 45 minutes. I have tried EVERYTHING you guys. I am VERY consistent. Starting at about 5 months of age, I have let her just cry it out. I make sure she isn't poopy, and let her cry until naptime is over. Sometimes she cries herself back to sleep at the very end of naptime, sometimes not. I have a sleep sheep, doesn't help. I have a white noise CD, doesn't help.
At about 7 months of age, when she started fully sleeping through the night; she finally started sleeping about an hour and a half each nap and she was a totally different baby!! I started to really enjoy her instead of listening to her crying and whining all day long from lack of sleep.
Then, she started teething about a month ago, and we went back to square one. She is getting a total of 1 hr to 2 hrs sleep TOTAL during a 10 hour period with me. It is NOT enough! She is super cranky all the time; and I am just beside myself b/c I cannot handle it anymore. I am actually thinking about terming b/c I am so unhappy and frustrated. She isn't happy either.
Any suggestions will be greatly appreciated! Thanks!
After I got her to sleep (I did babywearing to get her to sleep), I laid her on the couch and literally watched her sleep (while reading, computer, etc and the other kids were sleeping). When her sleep cycle went to the barely awake stage and she would start to stir, I would rub her belly and do a shush/pat method to help her transition back to the next sleep cycle. If I caught the cycle, I would get at least another 50 minutes or so. I did this enough times until she was sleeping 1.5 hours on the couch herself, without me having to be there. It took a month.
After we got to that point, I laid her in the pack and play and rubbed her back until she fell asleep, to get her used to falling asleep in the pack and play. After a few weeks of that, I would lay her in her pack and play and sit in the room with her, and tell her that she needed to go to sleep but that I was right there. When she finally was able to lay down and fall alseep on her own without assistance, I crept farther and farther away toward the door each day, until I was able to lay her down and just walk out.
She will occasionally fuss now for a minute or two, but I generally get 2 hours now.
It was a lot of work, but I was willing to do it for my dd. Some babies need more, and I did all of that song and dance as a last resort.
sahm2three 11:40 AM 03-16-2012
Originally Posted by Lilbutterflie:
Her schedule goes like this:
7:45am- Arrival. Goes straight to high chair to eat breakfast which is usually little finger foods like plain pancake and bananas, etc...
8:15am - 9:00am- Play. Crawling, pulling herself up, etc... Sometimes the jumper, too.
9:00am-11:00am- Naptime. Usually is awake by 9:30-9:45 and plays/cries until 11:00.
11:00am: 8oz bottle
11:00am-12:00pm- Play. Crawling, pulling herself up, etc... Sometimes the jumper, or exersaucer. Sometimes outdoor play during this time as well.
12:00am- Lunch. Finger foods or baby food.
12:00pm-12:45pm- Play. Same as described above.
12:45-2:45pm: Naptime. Usually is awake by 1:15pm and plays/cries until 2:45. Occasionally will cry herself back to sleep (maybe 2-3 times per week) and will sleep about 40 add'l minutes.
2:45pm-5:45pm: Play, outdoor play, walks around the neighborhood until her mom picks her up. From about 4pm until 5:45pm she is absolutely unbearable. If I try to put her back down for a 3rd nap- she screams like I have never heard a baby scream before. I have tried CIO for this and it has never worked. I cannot get her to take a third nap ever.
I think you are napping too late in the morning. I put my babies down by 8:30. They are up by 10:00. We play hard, eat lunch at 11:30 and it is nap time again between 12:30 and 1. Maybe try moving morning nap to earlier?Her schedule goes like this:
7:45am- Arrival. Goes straight to high chair to eat breakfast which is usually little finger foods like plain pancake and bananas, etc...
8:15am - 9:00am- Play. Crawling, pulling herself up, etc... Sometimes the jumper, too.
9:00am-11:00am- Naptime. Usually is awake by 9:30-9:45 and plays/cries until 11:00.
11:00am: 8oz bottle
11:00am-12:00pm- Play. Crawling, pulling herself up, etc... Sometimes the jumper, or exersaucer. Sometimes outdoor play during this time as well.
12:00am- Lunch. Finger foods or baby food.
12:00pm-12:45pm- Play. Same as described above.
12:45-2:45pm: Naptime. Usually is awake by 1:15pm and plays/cries until 2:45. Occasionally will cry herself back to sleep (maybe 2-3 times per week) and will sleep about 40 add'l minutes.
2:45pm-5:45pm: Play, outdoor play, walks around the neighborhood until her mom picks her up. From about 4pm until 5:45pm she is absolutely unbearable. If I try to put her back down for a 3rd nap- she screams like I have never heard a baby scream before. I have tried CIO for this and it has never worked. I cannot get her to take a third nap ever.
cheerfuldom 11:43 AM 03-16-2012
Have her eat breakfast at home and then put her down for nap right when she gets to your house.
If she has to eat at your house, feed her and then put her to nap.
If she has to eat at your house, feed her and then put her to nap.
Lilbutterflie 11:47 AM 03-16-2012
Originally Posted by SunshineMama:
My dd was like that. She even got "termed" from her daycare provider because of it (hence, me becoming a provider). Her doc said that she is in the 10% of babies for which CIO doesnt work. I finally got her to nap well. This is what I had to do:
After I got her to sleep (I did babywearing to get her to sleep), I laid her on the couch and literally watched her sleep (while reading, computer, etc and the other kids were sleeping). When her sleep cycle went to the barely awake stage and she would start to stir, I would rub her belly and do a shush/pat method to help her transition back to the next sleep cycle. If I caught the cycle, I would get at least another 50 minutes or so. I did this enough times until she was sleeping 1.5 hours on the couch herself, without me having to be there. It took a month.
After we got to that point, I laid her in the pack and play and rubbed her back until she fell asleep, to get her used to falling asleep in the pack and play. After a few weeks of that, I would lay her in her pack and play and sit in the room with her, and tell her that she needed to go to sleep but that I was right there. When she finally was able to lay down and fall alseep on her own without assistance, I crept farther and farther away toward the door each day, until I was able to lay her down and just walk out.
She will occasionally fuss now for a minute or two, but I generally get 2 hours now.
It was a lot of work, but I was willing to do it for my dd. Some babies need more, and I did all of that song and dance as a last resort.
Thanks for the suggestions. I am so happy your DD is finally sleeping well for you! My dd was like that. She even got "termed" from her daycare provider because of it (hence, me becoming a provider). Her doc said that she is in the 10% of babies for which CIO doesnt work. I finally got her to nap well. This is what I had to do:
After I got her to sleep (I did babywearing to get her to sleep), I laid her on the couch and literally watched her sleep (while reading, computer, etc and the other kids were sleeping). When her sleep cycle went to the barely awake stage and she would start to stir, I would rub her belly and do a shush/pat method to help her transition back to the next sleep cycle. If I caught the cycle, I would get at least another 50 minutes or so. I did this enough times until she was sleeping 1.5 hours on the couch herself, without me having to be there. It took a month.
After we got to that point, I laid her in the pack and play and rubbed her back until she fell asleep, to get her used to falling asleep in the pack and play. After a few weeks of that, I would lay her in her pack and play and sit in the room with her, and tell her that she needed to go to sleep but that I was right there. When she finally was able to lay down and fall alseep on her own without assistance, I crept farther and farther away toward the door each day, until I was able to lay her down and just walk out.
She will occasionally fuss now for a minute or two, but I generally get 2 hours now.
It was a lot of work, but I was willing to do it for my dd. Some babies need more, and I did all of that song and dance as a last resort.
I can completely understand that amount of time & devotion you had to get your DD napping well for you; but I just can't do that here. I can't give up my only rest time for 11 hours so that I can watch her sleep and get her back to a deep sleep before she fully wakes. And then spend the time transitioning her back to a pack n play, and then transitioning her back to not being able to see me. I just don't have that kind of time or commitment. I value my QUIET rest time way too much to allow for that. Especially since my QUIET rest time is only anywhere from 20-40 minutes each day.
cheerfuldom 11:57 AM 03-16-2012
dont feel bad if things arent working and you arent willing to try and be there to soothe her at every moment. Like the PP said, that is something a MOTHER would do. If you have a provider, I dont think that is a fair expectation and may not even work because parents will be doing something else at home. Try the nap first thing in the morning...that really helped all three of my daycare kids at one point or another.
MrsB 12:07 PM 03-16-2012
How is she on the weekends? What do parents say about it?
renodeb 12:12 PM 03-16-2012
I have an 8 m/o dc baby who hasnt slept well since I took time off at Christmas. She was sleeping fine before that. I had found out from mom that she was held constantly during the holidays by her and relatives and that the only way she would sleep was while held. I also found out that she was still sleeping in mom and dads room at 7 mos b/c of moms laziness (she admitted that to me) I pushed the mom big time to move her into her own room and let her CIO b/c other wise she will never learn selfsoothing. She finally did and she is sleeping better but not great. She sleeps maybe 40-60 minutes in the morn and then another nap later in the morn for 30-60 minutes, then she goes down again for her afternoon nap which is 60-80 minutes. Yesterday she slept and hour all day and was a real grump by pickup time. I have tried everything but if mom continues to hold her at home theres not much I cna do here. I don think mom really believes she that tired. I can tell her that she is! Its frustrating.
I guess some kids are just hard to get to sleep. I would toy with the idea of an earlier am nap maybe? I so sympathize with you. Hang in there!
Debbie
I guess some kids are just hard to get to sleep. I would toy with the idea of an earlier am nap maybe? I so sympathize with you. Hang in there!
Debbie
Lilbutterflie 12:13 PM 03-16-2012
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
Try the nap first thing in the morning...that really helped all three of my daycare kids at one point or another.
Usually when she comes at 7:45a, she has just barely gotten up by 7, had a morning bottle and brought to me. So if I did morning nap first thing, she'd be going to nap practically right after she woke up. Perhaps next week I'll try putting her down by 8:30-8:45am and see if that helps.Try the nap first thing in the morning...that really helped all three of my daycare kids at one point or another.
Lilbutterflie 12:15 PM 03-16-2012
Originally Posted by MrsB:
How is she on the weekends? What do parents say about it?
She doesn't nap well for parents either. DCM made a comment a few days ago that last weekend she had a two hour nap and that she has NEVER slept a two hour nap for them ever.How is she on the weekends? What do parents say about it?
cheerfuldom 12:26 PM 03-16-2012
Originally Posted by Lilbutterflie:
Usually when she comes at 7:45a, she has just barely gotten up by 7, had a morning bottle and brought to me. So if I did morning nap first thing, she'd be going to nap practically right after she woke up. Perhaps next week I'll try putting her down by 8:30-8:45am and see if that helps.
ummm....yeah, that is the point. The whole reason for putting her to bed right when she gets to you is because she is clearly exhausted and sleep deprived. She needs more sleep PLUS you cant even be sure that she is getting a full nights rest, no matter what the parents say. I think we can all agree that it is next to impossible to get a clear answer from a parent about what a child is doing at home. Either they dont know, try to make everything look perfect by saying what they think you want to hear, or just flat out lie so the issues seem like the provider's fault. Please just try the naps first thing in the morning and then decide.Usually when she comes at 7:45a, she has just barely gotten up by 7, had a morning bottle and brought to me. So if I did morning nap first thing, she'd be going to nap practically right after she woke up. Perhaps next week I'll try putting her down by 8:30-8:45am and see if that helps.
MNMum 12:37 PM 03-16-2012
Originally Posted by Lilbutterflie:
Usually when she comes at 7:45a, she has just barely gotten up by 7, had a morning bottle and brought to me. So if I did morning nap first thing, she'd be going to nap practically right after she woke up. Perhaps next week I'll try putting her down by 8:30-8:45am and see if that helps.
I have one that I have had major sleep issues, she is 6 mos. Things are slowly getting better. She gets up at 6:30 and is ready for naptime by 7:30 or 8. She sleeps 12 hours at night, too. I found that if I tried to push her morning nap out to 9am, she wouldn't nap more than 30 minutes all day long. I wouldn't feel bad about putting her down earlier.Usually when she comes at 7:45a, she has just barely gotten up by 7, had a morning bottle and brought to me. So if I did morning nap first thing, she'd be going to nap practically right after she woke up. Perhaps next week I'll try putting her down by 8:30-8:45am and see if that helps.
Lilbutterflie 12:38 PM 03-16-2012
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
ummm....yeah, that is the point. The whole reason for putting her to bed right when she gets to you is because she is clearly exhausted and sleep deprived. She needs more sleep PLUS you cant even be sure that she is getting a full nights rest, no matter what the parents say. I think we can all agree that it is next to impossible to get a clear answer from a parent about what a child is doing at home. Either they dont know, try to make everything look perfect by saying what they think you want to hear, or just flat out lie so the issues seem like the provider's fault. Please just try the naps first thing in the morning and then decide.
Will do. ummm....yeah, that is the point. The whole reason for putting her to bed right when she gets to you is because she is clearly exhausted and sleep deprived. She needs more sleep PLUS you cant even be sure that she is getting a full nights rest, no matter what the parents say. I think we can all agree that it is next to impossible to get a clear answer from a parent about what a child is doing at home. Either they dont know, try to make everything look perfect by saying what they think you want to hear, or just flat out lie so the issues seem like the provider's fault. Please just try the naps first thing in the morning and then decide.
Thanks Cheerfuldom. Hopefully it works! Actually it HAS to work. I am willing to give it a couple more weeks, but if she doesn't start sleeping better, I have no choice but to give notice. She is miserable, and I'm miserable. My own family can't really enjoy me b/c I am so frazzled by day's end.
MrsB 12:38 PM 03-16-2012
Originally Posted by cheerfuldom:
ummm....yeah, that is the point. The whole reason for putting her to bed right when she gets to you is because she is clearly exhausted and sleep deprived. She needs more sleep PLUS you cant even be sure that she is getting a full nights rest, no matter what the parents say. I think we can all agree that it is next to impossible to get a clear answer from a parent about what a child is doing at home. Either they dont know, try to make everything look perfect by saying what they think you want to hear, or just flat out lie so the issues seem like the provider's fault. Please just try the naps first thing in the morning and then decide.
Although I have had my fair share of "fibbers"ummm....yeah, that is the point. The whole reason for putting her to bed right when she gets to you is because she is clearly exhausted and sleep deprived. She needs more sleep PLUS you cant even be sure that she is getting a full nights rest, no matter what the parents say. I think we can all agree that it is next to impossible to get a clear answer from a parent about what a child is doing at home. Either they dont know, try to make everything look perfect by saying what they think you want to hear, or just flat out lie so the issues seem like the provider's fault. Please just try the naps first thing in the morning and then decide.
not all lie.Just as I can get the truth from my little ones. I can usually get the truth from adults too. So I still ask.
I dont disreagard all they tell me. Kind of like a self help book... You take what info applies to you and toss the rest! Which can be a large %
backtobasics chikldcare 12:49 PM 03-16-2012
Originally Posted by Lilbutterflie:
This is what I do- Every. Single. Day. For four weeks straight since she stopped napping well again. Like I said, in the SEVEN months I've had her- I've really only had about 3-4 weeks (from the age of 7 mos old to 8 mos old) where she has napped decently. As I am typing this she is screaming because she woke up 25 minutes after falling asleep and wants to get up. I am so frustrated. I just don't think I can handle it any longer.
Oh my, I so understand and feel your pain. I have one similar to this and it is so frustrating! :-( I am up at 5 30 am for this little and even though he has been up since 5 or so he will just not not sleep. I have tried morning naps and all he will do is jump or bang on the pnp or dance around in it and whine. He has never had an am nap since being here for 6 months. If he does sleep in the afternoon it is only for about 30 minutes and in order for him to go to sleep I have to stay right beside him and not let him stand up. If he stays still for a few minutes he is right asleep but won't stay asleep. He whines and is so miserable all day. He definitely needs the sleep. It makes for a really long day.This is what I do- Every. Single. Day. For four weeks straight since she stopped napping well again. Like I said, in the SEVEN months I've had her- I've really only had about 3-4 weeks (from the age of 7 mos old to 8 mos old) where she has napped decently. As I am typing this she is screaming because she woke up 25 minutes after falling asleep and wants to get up. I am so frustrated. I just don't think I can handle it any longer.
cheerfuldom 01:16 PM 03-16-2012
Originally Posted by MrsB:
Although I have had my fair share of "fibbers" not all lie.
Just as I can get the truth from my little ones. I can usually get the truth from adults too. So I still ask.
I dont disreagard all they tell me. Kind of like a self help book... You take what info applies to you and toss the rest! Which can be a large %
Oh of course I dont disregard what a parent says at all. But with some parents, you just have to take it with a grain of salt. I know my comment came off like it was an "absolute" statement but that was more sarcasm than anything else. Although I have had my fair share of "fibbers"
not all lie.Just as I can get the truth from my little ones. I can usually get the truth from adults too. So I still ask.
I dont disreagard all they tell me. Kind of like a self help book... You take what info applies to you and toss the rest! Which can be a large %
My final thought is that if a kid is yawning and cranky and has barely been up an hour, that means that the last time they slept was not long enough. Its hard with daycare because young babies have to get up and be on mama's schedule and on provider's schedule from day one and not every baby is happy with that.
SunshineMama 01:53 PM 03-16-2012
Originally Posted by Lilbutterflie:
Thanks for the suggestions. I am so happy your DD is finally sleeping well for you!
I can completely understand that amount of time & devotion you had to get your DD napping well for you; but I just can't do that here. I can't give up my only rest time for 11 hours so that I can watch her sleep and get her back to a deep sleep before she fully wakes. And then spend the time transitioning her back to a pack n play, and then transitioning her back to not being able to see me. I just don't have that kind of time or commitment. I value my QUIET rest time way too much to allow for that. Especially since my QUIET rest time is only anywhere from 20-40 minutes each day.
I COMPLETELY understand! I wouldn't do it for a daycare kid either, but I thought I would throw it out there as a suggestion, since it worked for me. Thanks for the suggestions. I am so happy your DD is finally sleeping well for you!
I can completely understand that amount of time & devotion you had to get your DD napping well for you; but I just can't do that here. I can't give up my only rest time for 11 hours so that I can watch her sleep and get her back to a deep sleep before she fully wakes. And then spend the time transitioning her back to a pack n play, and then transitioning her back to not being able to see me. I just don't have that kind of time or commitment. I value my QUIET rest time way too much to allow for that. Especially since my QUIET rest time is only anywhere from 20-40 minutes each day.
I did notice that when dd was 12 months old things all around got a lot easier- her comprehension was a lot better. Hopefully with op's suggestions and time things will get better!
momma2girls 02:56 PM 03-16-2012
Originally Posted by sahm2three:
I think you are napping too late in the morning. I put my babies down by 8:30. They are up by 10:00. We play hard, eat lunch at 11:30 and it is nap time again between 12:30 and 1. Maybe try moving morning nap to earlier?
I do this same thing- some children are up at 5:00-6:00 am, they are ready to go back down around 8:30I think you are napping too late in the morning. I put my babies down by 8:30. They are up by 10:00. We play hard, eat lunch at 11:30 and it is nap time again between 12:30 and 1. Maybe try moving morning nap to earlier?
Lilbutterflie 07:43 AM 03-19-2012
So, I wasn't supposed to have non-napper today. DCM told me two weeks ago that she was taking the day off to spend with her mom and she'd be keeping dcg home for some quality time with g-ma. I even got confirmation on Fri that indeed they would be gone today.
I got a text Sat night stating she had changed her mind. Gma couldn't come to town b/c she was ill; and she'd be bringing dcg on Mon. Since she is paying for the day regardless; I felt like I couldn't say no. But I sure was bummed. I need a break from this little one that doesn't sleep. To top it off; I'm pretty darn sure DCM has the day off today still. She came in sweats and slippers and looked like she'd just gotten out of bed. Said she was working from home. She hasn't worked from home in months. Wierd timing that she'd be working from home on a day she told me she had off.
Anyway, I did her typical pre-nap routine and put her to bed by 8:30 instead of 9. She screamed like I had betrayed her (the typical scream I get if I try to put her down late afternoon for a third nap). She screamed until just after 9. And is awake and screaming 30 minutes later. I know it's day 1 of earlier nap; but I feel like there is no changing this stubborn little girl. She just refuses to sleep.
Have any of you termed a non-sleeper? Do you think I am in the right to hand them a termination letter on Fri?
I got a text Sat night stating she had changed her mind. Gma couldn't come to town b/c she was ill; and she'd be bringing dcg on Mon. Since she is paying for the day regardless; I felt like I couldn't say no. But I sure was bummed. I need a break from this little one that doesn't sleep. To top it off; I'm pretty darn sure DCM has the day off today still. She came in sweats and slippers and looked like she'd just gotten out of bed. Said she was working from home. She hasn't worked from home in months. Wierd timing that she'd be working from home on a day she told me she had off.
Anyway, I did her typical pre-nap routine and put her to bed by 8:30 instead of 9. She screamed like I had betrayed her (the typical scream I get if I try to put her down late afternoon for a third nap). She screamed until just after 9. And is awake and screaming 30 minutes later. I know it's day 1 of earlier nap; but I feel like there is no changing this stubborn little girl. She just refuses to sleep.
Have any of you termed a non-sleeper? Do you think I am in the right to hand them a termination letter on Fri?
SunshineMama 07:49 AM 03-19-2012
Being a parent of a child who was termed for nap issues, I completely understand! You have to have peace! I did, however resent my op and thought she didn't know what she was doing.... Until I opened a daycare and had to deal with it myself. The parents may not understand, but after personally being on both sides of the fence, you would not be in the wrong for terming. Honestly, it sounds like that baby's personality is not comparable with your nap methods and she needs to be somewhere where she can have more 1:1 attention during naptime. Good luck!
christinaskids 08:32 AM 03-19-2012
Sounds to me like she should be on her own schedule and be allowed to sleep in as long as she wants. My son is this way, id hate to see him have to get up early every morning because he would be just like this little girl. I think you are completely in the right to term if you want. Just explain that she is just not happy here and cant sleep and you hate to see her miserable. The parents should understand, wont be thrilled about finding someone else though. Dont feel bad for doing whats right for you and your family.
Lilbutterflie 08:43 AM 03-19-2012
Thanks SunshineMama and Christina'skids. I feel awful in considering termination; but in the end I need to gain my sanity back for me and my family.
I have drafted the following termination letter and I would love some input on it. BlackCat (if you're reading it), I took a termination letter I saw you post once and made it my own. Hope that is okay!
03/16/2012
Dear Parent,
This letter is to provide written notice of my intent to discontinue child care services for daycare girl. At this time I feel that I am unable to meet daycare girl's needs. Despite great efforts, I have been unable to establish a sleep routine that results in the amount of sleep she requires during the day. As a result, she is unhappy and sleepy for a majority of the time she is in my care. I feel it would be a disservice to her to continue caring for her in an environment that she is not able to thrive in.
The last day I will provide services is April 6, 2012. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to provide care for daycare girl. It has been a wonderful experience and I wish you and your family the best.
Sincerely
Daycare Provider Name
Daycare
I have drafted the following termination letter and I would love some input on it. BlackCat (if you're reading it), I took a termination letter I saw you post once and made it my own. Hope that is okay!
03/16/2012
Dear Parent,
This letter is to provide written notice of my intent to discontinue child care services for daycare girl. At this time I feel that I am unable to meet daycare girl's needs. Despite great efforts, I have been unable to establish a sleep routine that results in the amount of sleep she requires during the day. As a result, she is unhappy and sleepy for a majority of the time she is in my care. I feel it would be a disservice to her to continue caring for her in an environment that she is not able to thrive in.
The last day I will provide services is April 6, 2012. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to provide care for daycare girl. It has been a wonderful experience and I wish you and your family the best.
Sincerely
Daycare Provider Name
Daycare
daycare 09:10 AM 03-19-2012
Originally Posted by Lilbutterflie:
Thanks SunshineMama and Christina'skids. I feel awful in considering termination; but in the end I need to gain my sanity back for me and my family.
I have drafted the following termination letter and I would love some input on it. BlackCat (if you're reading it), I took a termination letter I saw you post once and made it my own. Hope that is okay!
03/16/2012
Dear Parent,
This letter is to provide written notice of my intent to discontinue child care services for daycare girl. At this time I feel that I am unable to meet daycare girl's needs. Despite great efforts, I have been unable to establish a sleep routine that results in the amount of sleep she requires during the day. As a result, she is unhappy and sleepy for a majority of the time she is in my care. I feel it would be a disservice to her to continue caring for her in an environment that she is not able to thrive in.
The last day I will provide services is April 6, 2012. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to provide care for daycare girl. It has been a wonderful experience and I wish you and your family the best.
Sincerely
Daycare Provider Name
Daycare
sorry, I am not the best in English, but it sounds like LOTS of words.Thanks SunshineMama and Christina'skids. I feel awful in considering termination; but in the end I need to gain my sanity back for me and my family.
I have drafted the following termination letter and I would love some input on it. BlackCat (if you're reading it), I took a termination letter I saw you post once and made it my own. Hope that is okay!
03/16/2012
Dear Parent,
This letter is to provide written notice of my intent to discontinue child care services for daycare girl. At this time I feel that I am unable to meet daycare girl's needs. Despite great efforts, I have been unable to establish a sleep routine that results in the amount of sleep she requires during the day. As a result, she is unhappy and sleepy for a majority of the time she is in my care. I feel it would be a disservice to her to continue caring for her in an environment that she is not able to thrive in.
The last day I will provide services is April 6, 2012. Thank you for allowing me the opportunity to provide care for daycare girl. It has been a wonderful experience and I wish you and your family the best.
Sincerely
Daycare Provider Name
Daycare
Maybe don;t repeat the same words so many times..
I think i would take this part out
Despite great efforts, I have been unable to establish a sleep routine that results in the amount of sleep she requires during the day. As a result, she is unhappy and sleepy for a majority of the time she is in my care. I feel it would be a disservice to her to continue caring for her in an environment that she is not able to thrive in.
otherwise it looks great...
KBCsMommy 09:14 AM 03-19-2012
Butterfly...Do not feel bad about terming over this. I too have termed over a very similiar situation.
I started care of a 4 wk old dcb. All was golden until about 4 months when he started to fight his naps. Eventually I got him on a great routine. He was napping perfectly, that is until dcm took a week off work in November. When he came back he was a mess. Wouldn't sleep, cried constantly.
I just kept telling myself it will get better..this too shall pass!! Well it didn't! Christmas break dcm took off another week. And he came back worse then ever. He literally screamed for the entire week. At the end of the week I terminated care. Dcm was not willing to work with me because she would say "well he's fine at home, so I don't know what the problem is!". LIE!!
Anyways, Best decision I ever made!! I would do it again too! I will never keep a child like that in my care ever again. It took a huge toll on my family life and my daycare. I now have a new little guy, and after a few adjustment weeks he is now a perfect dc baby!! And his parents are great too!
I started care of a 4 wk old dcb. All was golden until about 4 months when he started to fight his naps. Eventually I got him on a great routine. He was napping perfectly, that is until dcm took a week off work in November. When he came back he was a mess. Wouldn't sleep, cried constantly.
I just kept telling myself it will get better..this too shall pass!! Well it didn't! Christmas break dcm took off another week. And he came back worse then ever. He literally screamed for the entire week. At the end of the week I terminated care. Dcm was not willing to work with me because she would say "well he's fine at home, so I don't know what the problem is!". LIE!!
Anyways, Best decision I ever made!! I would do it again too! I will never keep a child like that in my care ever again. It took a huge toll on my family life and my daycare. I now have a new little guy, and after a few adjustment weeks he is now a perfect dc baby!! And his parents are great too!
SunshineMama 09:15 AM 03-19-2012
If it were me, I would not go into too many details about why (in the letter). I would just say:
Dear Family,
Please consider this letter as an official notification that, effective XX/XX/***X, I will no longer be able to provide childcare services for _______.
Thank you,
I would tell them on friday about the situation, and advise them that in your opinion, the child is not responding to your regular naptime routine, and that you feel the child would be better suited for more individualized care, with someone who is able to put the work in. I would never say in a letter that I couldn't meet the needs of the child, because that can be interpreted in too many ways and then there is a piece of paper with your name on it out there saying you can't do your job, (IF that's how the parents want to twist the situation). Honestly, the mom will never know how hard it is to get by with a non-napper unless she does it herself, which she won't, so be prepared for them to have some not-nice things to say. (All NOT your fault, BTW). I was completely shocked when dd got termed, but I dont blame the provider (now, anyway) at all.
Dear Family,
Please consider this letter as an official notification that, effective XX/XX/***X, I will no longer be able to provide childcare services for _______.
Thank you,
I would tell them on friday about the situation, and advise them that in your opinion, the child is not responding to your regular naptime routine, and that you feel the child would be better suited for more individualized care, with someone who is able to put the work in. I would never say in a letter that I couldn't meet the needs of the child, because that can be interpreted in too many ways and then there is a piece of paper with your name on it out there saying you can't do your job, (IF that's how the parents want to twist the situation). Honestly, the mom will never know how hard it is to get by with a non-napper unless she does it herself, which she won't, so be prepared for them to have some not-nice things to say. (All NOT your fault, BTW). I was completely shocked when dd got termed, but I dont blame the provider (now, anyway) at all.
cheerfuldom 09:35 AM 03-19-2012
Dont lie and say "its been a wonderful experience"
I agree with the PP
I agree with the PP
Lilbutterflie 10:12 AM 03-19-2012
Lots of great tips, ladies. Thank you. I have never written a termination letter before; so I think I will just give her a short simple termination letter stating the date of last day of service; and then verbally explain the reason I am terminating care.
SunshineMama 12:08 PM 03-19-2012
Originally Posted by Lilbutterflie:
Lots of great tips, ladies. Thank you. I have never written a termination letter before; so I think I will just give her a short simple termination letter stating the date of last day of service; and then verbally explain the reason I am terminating care.
Lots of great tips, ladies. Thank you. I have never written a termination letter before; so I think I will just give her a short simple termination letter stating the date of last day of service; and then verbally explain the reason I am terminating care.
Good luck! Remember, when writing the letter, less is more