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Old 02-06-2012, 11:37 AM
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Default How Strict Are You With The Kids?

So. just a general question...
How strict are you with the kids you have in care?

I had a discussion with another local provider, and when I explained my rules she looked at me like my house was some kind of jail or something

Me and "my" kids have a lot of fun every day, I love my job, but I do have rules in my house, and I do expect the children to follow them, otherwise they will loose privileges (like playing a favorite game, or less time outside, etc). I do not joke, or threat without falling through. If I say it, it will happen...

I totally accept the fact that toys, and some childcare related things will go through wear and tear, however I do not want the kids to demolish my house, or drive me and my family crazy while they are here...


I don't use time outs very often, but when I do, I make sure they are very well understood.

I do not let the kids jumping on the couches, running, screaming, or getting out of control, just because "they are kids".
I do expect them to pick up after themselves at all the times.
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Old 02-06-2012, 11:47 AM
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Mostly I make sure they use inside voices. My daughter is 3 months old and a light napper and only takes catnaps, therefor her sleep is precious time that I heavily inforce quiet voices.

I also do not let them run inside, jump on couches, or STOMP.

I encourage them to clean up when they're done with an item, but at the very least we all clean up before lunch time, and again before they go home. I am pretty relaxed about toys everywhere, as long as they play QUIETLY (lol)
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Old 02-06-2012, 11:52 AM
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My DC rules are the same as my house rules - even stricter. I only let the DC kids sit on my black couch - not my white one or my recliner. The don't get to yell, run or jump off the furniture. Running is for outside time. Dancing, marching with instruments, etc is fine. We only eat/drink at the table during meal and snack times. We use polite manners. And believe me, when these little ones hit school age, their teachers (I was one for 11 years and my DH still is) will thank me for setting boundaries. My parents are always amazed at how well their kids behave for me. I have noticed a decline in kids' behavior over the past 10 or so years and blame it on parents not taking the time to parent. Or DC's where the kids run wild and have no boundaries. My DD's have some friends I do not like having over b/c they have no basic etiquette. They have been in a center for DC their whole lives. And the parents run a loosey goosey household, which works for them, but not so much for others.
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Old 02-06-2012, 12:21 PM
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Originally Posted by bice99 View Post
My DC rules are the same as my house rules - even stricter. I only let the DC kids sit on my black couch - not my white one or my recliner. The don't get to yell, run or jump off the furniture. Running is for outside time. Dancing, marching with instruments, etc is fine. We only eat/drink at the table during meal and snack times. We use polite manners. And believe me, when these little ones hit school age, their teachers (I was one for 11 years and my DH still is) will thank me for setting boundaries. My parents are always amazed at how well their kids behave for me. I have noticed a decline in kids' behavior over the past 10 or so years and blame it on parents not taking the time to parent. Or DC's where the kids run wild and have no boundaries. My DD's have some friends I do not like having over b/c they have no basic etiquette. They have been in a center for DC their whole lives. And the parents run a loosey goosey household, which works for them, but not so much for others.
THIS!

Some parents may think I am "strict". I call it balance. My day care kids get lots and lots of love and we have a ton of fun. But they also know that when I say something, it's gospel. If I promise brownies...we get brownies. But if I say no painting this afternoon if this room isn't cleaned up fast...then they know I mean it. The kids TRUST me because I always speak the truth to them and follow through with fair consequences.

I once had a couple boys in my care who ran their mother ragged. They lived just down the street from me. I would walk by and she would be yelling at them in the driveway....."I'm gonna put you in a (bleep) bodybag if you don't get over here" They would run away from her. I had to explain to her that they didn't take her seriously! They knew she wasn't going to put them in a bodybag...her words meant nothing.

One day she came over to my house and said "DCB (5 yrs old) is off on his bike and he won't come back"

I went out walking around the neighborhood trying to locate him. I could see him from a distance and he was laughing and riding away from his mom (who was screaming expletives). I went back home, got my car and found him a few streets over. He saw me...hesitated....and all I did was gesture to my car and firmly said "NOW!" He rode over, I took him off the bike and put it in the car and took him back to his house. I suggested she put the bike away for a while. She told me "He'll just take it out again!!!!"

I'd had enough (of both of them)....so I overstepped my boundaries completely...put his bike back in the trunk of my car and said "You can have it back in a month if I feel you've earned it."

The mom wimpered "I wish I could be strong and do that"

Fact is, I never had to threaten him or touch him. He just knew I meant business and respected me.

Bottom line. I say what I mean and mean what I say. When I say "I love you" to one of my kids, they know it's so. When I tell them they just lost art this afternoon, they know that's also true!
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Old 02-06-2012, 12:42 PM
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I don't know how you would stay sane if you didn't have clear rules when there are 6 children in the house. We have lots of rules to keep safe and maintain a clean (healthy) environment. It teaches the kids responsiblity and respect. I have people say to me all the time when we are out and about "I don't know how you do it?" Well this is how you do it, you teach the the rules and make them know you mean it!
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Old 02-06-2012, 12:45 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jenny31052 View Post
So. just a general question...
How strict are you with the kids you have in care?

I had a discussion with another local provider, and when I explained my rules she looked at me like my house was some kind of jail or something

Me and "my" kids have a lot of fun every day, I love my job, but I do have rules in my house, and I do expect the children to follow them, otherwise they will loose privileges (like playing a favorite game, or less time outside, etc). I do not joke, or threat without falling through. If I say it, it will happen...

I totally accept the fact that toys, and some childcare related things will go through wear and tear, however I do not want the kids to demolish my house, or drive me and my family crazy while they are here...


I don't use time outs very often, but when I do, I make sure they are very well understood.

I do not let the kids jumping on the couches, running, screaming, or getting out of control, just because "they are kids".
I do expect them to pick up after themselves at all the times.
I think I'm basically the same way. I have arranged things so there aren't too many rules, but those rules that exist, there is no room for negotiation.

I say what I mean, and I mean what I say... so, if I say "I will sell you on craigslist"... I WILL take their picture and have that ad up on craigslist before the hour. (so, I don't use that threat outloud)
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  #7  
Old 02-06-2012, 01:11 PM
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its my way or the highway NO room for negotiations at all. I start it from day one.
#1 Rule play safe..

I follow the same rules that our school district this way they are already able to the follow the rules at school from day one
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  #8  
Old 02-06-2012, 02:06 PM
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I have my rules that I expect the kids to follow. It doesn't matter if we are inside, outside, or somewhere else (library, store, etc). It doesn't matter who else is around (parent, visitor, etc), they know what I expect of them, and behave (usually) accordingly. They know there are reactions to their actions, both positive and negative.

I do have one child that has problems when his mother comes to pick him up. He walks all over her, and has lack of discipline issues with her, but that's another post for another day.

My posted rules are:
* Please play nice together and respect others.
* Please no roughhousing, climbing on one another, or lifting or carrying other children.
* Please do not stand on, jump on or climb on any toys, tables or furniture.
* Please no going through doors or gates at anytime without an adult.
* Please use quiet voice inside, loud voices are for outside.
* Please use walking feet inside, running feet outside.
* Please share all toys and take turns.
* PLEASE HAVE FUN!!

I have other rules like no tattling, use table manners and ask to be excused when finished with meal/snack, be nice to the animals, that aren't posted, but still known and expected to follow.
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Old 02-06-2012, 02:13 PM
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One of my dcm's thought I was strict when they started, I think. Now, I see/hear her following through. I almost cheered and gave her a high five the other day when she said to her child (directly) K-I TOLD YOU TO GET IN THE CAR. DO IT NOW". yipppeeeeee!

This is the mom that often chases several children around the yard as they run away laughing....
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Old 02-06-2012, 02:23 PM
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I'm pretty strick and I think that is the #1 reason I am burning out lately with my job. It seems I have to do soooooo much refering and it really take the fun out of it. No one seems to follow the rules no matter what I do. I'm so afraid someone is going to get hurt also.

I will be correcting someone about something and then someone else starts something, then someone else, and then it just escalates it seems. Time outs are nothing but scream fests or constantly hearing "When can I get out". Drives me crazy!

Also, I have a few that have no idea what an indoor voice is! I have tried the whisper method, time outs, telling them indoor voice only, etc. Nothing-it almost seems to make them louder.

The hitting is ridiculous. Another no matter what I do it goes from one till the last one has done it.

Didn't mean to hijack! But I'm burning out quickly and I think this is why. I can't figure out why 2-3 year olds can't follow rules. All these children will be 3 & 4 in a few months and sometimes I feel the are regressing with behavior than moving forward.

I also always wonder since we have them 9-10 hours a day why can't they follow our rules. Its the same ones day after day after day!
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Old 02-06-2012, 02:28 PM
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Originally Posted by Country Kids View Post
I'm pretty strick and I think that is the #1 reason I am burning out lately with my job. It seems I have to do soooooo much refering and it really take the fun out of it. No one seems to follow the rules no matter what I do. I'm so afraid someone is going to get hurt also.

I will be correcting someone about something and then someone else starts something, then someone else, and then it just escalates it seems. Time outs are nothing but scream fests or constantly hearing "When can I get out". Drives me crazy!

Also, I have a few that have no idea what an indoor voice is! I have tried the whisper method, time outs, telling them indoor voice only, etc. Nothing-it almost seems to make them louder.

The hitting is ridiculous. Another no matter what I do it goes from one till the last one has done it.

Didn't mean to hijack! But I'm burning out quickly and I think this is why. I can't figure out why 2-3 year olds can't follow rules. All these children will be 3 & 4 in a few months and sometimes I feel the are regressing with behavior than moving forward.

I also always wonder since we have them 9-10 hours a day why can't they follow our rules. Its the same ones day after day after day!
try to use time outs as a way for the child to calm down, not as a punishment and maybe you will see better results....sorry just a suggestion.....
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Old 02-06-2012, 02:43 PM
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My way...no highway option.

We do things my way for my reasons without questioning.

I have rules and to parents, they may be strict, in fact too strict for them to enroll here, and that's perfectly fine by me.

These rules have been in place for years. And have sent kids home in the same condition they have came in each day for years now. Clearly I'm doing something right. If no running, jumping and hitting aren't rules at your household, you don't need to come here. We say please and thank you. I don't allow dumping of toys or kids to lay sprawled out on the floor to play. I also don't allow screaming or yelling.

I might be "mean" to some and that's alright by me. My rules keep them safe is what matters most to me.
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Old 02-06-2012, 03:34 PM
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I am incredibly strict, and wouldn't have it any other way!

My child care is separate from my home, in my finished basement. I run it as an early childhood center, and do not tolerate disrespect of me, other children, or the materials. The children know that I mean it, and that I will not tolerate inappropriate behavior. We have fun, and we do lots of great activities; however, I will not hesitate to take away all sorts of fun if things get rowdy.

I have strict rules for the parents, too. My upstairs is OFF LIMITS. The day care children are not allowed to play with my children's toys that are upstairs. They are not allowed to use any part of my upstairs except the hallway leading to the basement. I am very clear with these rules, and they are in my handbook and contract, as well as in my reminder letters that I send home.

I think as an early educator (I was a teacher for twelve years before I started this program) it is my job to teach the little ones I care for manners and respect. We review the polite rules of society often, and I expect complete politeness at all times. If they want to go home and act crazy, that is not my business. I am in control in this environment, and I will maintain that control.

I think that I may come across as too strict, and I don't care. When these kids leave me for kindergarten, they are some of the best prepared kids in the class - and I have been told that by many families. Sooo, fall in line or find somewhere else to go!
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Old 02-06-2012, 05:08 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Country Kids View Post
I'm pretty strick and I think that is the #1 reason I am burning out lately with my job. It seems I have to do soooooo much refering and it really take the fun out of it. No one seems to follow the rules no matter what I do. I'm so afraid someone is going to get hurt also.

I will be correcting someone about something and then someone else starts something, then someone else, and then it just escalates it seems. Time outs are nothing but scream fests or constantly hearing "When can I get out". Drives me crazy!

Also, I have a few that have no idea what an indoor voice is! I have tried the whisper method, time outs, telling them indoor voice only, etc. Nothing-it almost seems to make them louder.

The hitting is ridiculous. Another no matter what I do it goes from one till the last one has done it.

Didn't mean to hijack! But I'm burning out quickly and I think this is why. I can't figure out why 2-3 year olds can't follow rules. All these children will be 3 & 4 in a few months and sometimes I feel the are regressing with behavior than moving forward.

I also always wonder since we have them 9-10 hours a day why can't they follow our rules. Its the same ones day after day after day!
I've been there before. A couple years ago, I had about 8 three year old boys. Worst behaved kids I'd ever seen, really. They did nothing but run, scream and beat each other up all day everyday. They did this with their mothers too, so no help there. I wanted to quit everyday. i couldn't do any circle time, any projects...

Finally, I said im either quitting or get ahold of the situation. I demanded the worst of them be removed from my class. With the rest of them, I took one activity at a time, in really short bursts. If we got through 3 minutes of Circle Time without incident, then the next week, we went for five. If there was incidents, we Sat Down. Once they realized that they were either going to follow rules and act civilized or do nothing, they changed their behavior.

It wasn't a magic fix, and I was so relieved when they one by one aged out or termed. But I still have to pull this out occasionally for groups I've had after them. I wipe the schedule clean and we relearn how to play and behave until we're on track.

Hugs to you because I know how frustrating it is.
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Old 02-07-2012, 11:06 AM
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Originally Posted by wdmmom View Post
My way...no highway option.

We do things my way for my reasons without questioning.

I have rules and to parents, they may be strict, in fact too strict for them to enroll here, and that's perfectly fine by me.

These rules have been in place for years. And have sent kids home in the same condition they have came in each day for years now. Clearly I'm doing something right. If no running, jumping and hitting aren't rules at your household, you don't need to come here. We say please and thank you. I don't allow dumping of toys or kids to lay sprawled out on the floor to play. I also don't allow screaming or yelling.

I might be "mean" to some and that's alright by me. My rules keep them safe is what matters most to me.

****MY TWIN...I HAVE FINALLY FOUND YOU!!!**** I am perfectly nice, parents & children love me alike but they all know what's what. My place....my rules. Do what you want....at home!!!
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Old 02-07-2012, 12:09 PM
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****MY TWIN...I HAVE FINALLY FOUND YOU!!!**** I am perfectly nice, parents & children love me alike but they all know what's what. My place....my rules. Do what you want....at home!!!
If I have to be here all day, I want things MY way! My own kids know the rules and they may not like them either but they have to follow them!
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Old 02-07-2012, 02:04 PM
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Oh, good I feel better now

This other lady I was talking, that questioned my way to run my daycare, made me feel horrible all day...

I mean, I don't want to the kids to go home, and tell the parents that they can't do this, they can't do that, and I said this, and I said that, and I don't want them to get to the point where they don't want to come here anymore because I put them in check when I have too...

But, well, I guess if the parents don't like it, they can find somewhere else to go...
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Old 02-07-2012, 03:13 PM
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My ex used to call me 'The Warden'! I do have a good bit of rules and I definately enforce them! My rules are pretty much the same rules my mother had for me when I was growing up. Things like no running in the house, sit properly on the furniture, be polite and respectful, use manners, help each other, share, because of liability with daycare, no rough housing, things like that. You know the same rules EVERYONE had years ago. I personally think that if EVERYONE kept these rules as years went by, we wouldn't have so many issues with our teens and young adults nowadays.

Now, even with my rules, pretty much all of my kids have LOVED me, some even want to come over on the weekends! We have PLENTY of fun and cut up/joke around alot. And almost all of my parents have LOVED me. I have actually had a handful of parents pay me more than I quoted because they like my services so much and feel that I deserve a higher pay. Many of my parents have told me that I am their favorite daycare lady. So even though I am strict, but fun too!
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