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Old 10-02-2013, 11:27 AM
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Default Telling A Parent You Can No Longer Watch Their Child

Hi there, I have ran an in home daycare/preschool from my home for the past 5 years and have never had to tell a parent that I can no longer watch their child. I am watching a 18 month old little boy who has started hitting, throwing toys and pulling hair. I have other children that I watch and they try to stay clear of him but he will walk up and try to take whatever they have out of their hands. That's when the hitting, etc occurs. When we do circle time he refuses to stay seated so I try to set him up a little play area to keep him busy but he throws toys at the other children, steps all over them and pulls their hair. Whenever I try to pull him aside and tell him that we don't hit our friends, he slaps and kicks me too. He doesn't talk and communicates by screaming all the time so it makes much more difficult. To sum it all up he just isn't a good fit for me or the other kids. I have already talked with his mother about this situation and also about a few others and she acts as if it's no big deal or that he is learning that behavior from my house. How can I tell her that I don't want to watch him anymore without her getting mad? She did sign a contract with me and I plan to give her 2 weeks notice. Should I type something up regarding this and have her sign that too? Ugh I'm so heart broken I have to do this
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Old 10-02-2013, 11:33 AM
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If you're really set on terminating him, I'd just write up a short statement saying you feel you can no longer accommodate his needs, your dc is no longer in his best interest, something like that while including you're giving her your 2 week notice per your written contract. I don't think I'd go into great detail since you've already talked with her about it she's aware of the issues you're having. It does sound frustrating and if you don't think it'll change then you do need to think of all the others in care.
Right now I have a toddler that does some of those things but I feel she'll outgrow it and learn better ways of communicating her wants/needs. BUT I believe her parents will honestly work with me and not blow it off. Makes a big difference if the dcps are on the same page as you.
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Old 10-02-2013, 03:32 PM
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I would right up a short response. I had an 18 mo that started out this way and finally got to a point that he wouldnt play with other kids, and when kids would come near him, he would get so worked up that he would hit, kick, and make him self gag to the point of getting sick. I had talked to his mom and she did the same thing as your mom did. She just brushed it off. It will only get worse. I tried for a year and last month finally termed. There is only so much you can do. Good luck
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Old 10-02-2013, 04:20 PM
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Dear dcm,

As per our signed contract, this notice is to inform you that I am notifying you of a termination in care due to previously discussed behavioral issues. The care of all children in my home is my utmost priority and their safet is my top concern. I feel at this time xxx is not a good fit for my program anymore. His last day of care will be on __________________.

I wish you the best. The number for your local childcare referral office is _______________.

Sincerely,
Dcp
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Old 10-03-2013, 06:11 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cradle2crayons View Post
Dear dcm,

As per our signed contract, this notice is to inform you that I am notifying you of a termination in care due to previously discussed behavioral issues. The care of all children in my home is my utmost priority and their safet is my top concern. I feel at this time xxx is not a good fit for my program anymore. His last day of care will be on __________________.

I wish you the best. The number for your local childcare referral office is _______________.

Sincerely,
Dcp
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Old 10-03-2013, 08:53 AM
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I have in my contract all the reasons I would terminate care. One of those being the disrespect of the care giver (hitting and kicking you), the destruction and disrespect of toys, and the well-being of the other kids in care (hitting, hair pulling, etc.).

These reasons alone are enough to terminate. We are a business. We can be business friendly, but we shouldn't be friends with the parents. This makes it a whole lot easier to have the backbone to follow through on our own policies.

We as providers have a tendency to feel for the plight of the parents too often when we know that keeping their business is not a good fit. They'll be fine. They will survive. In the meantime, you have a responsibility to keep the other children in your care safe, and it already seems like this parent of this toddler isn't really trying to hear what you have to say. She even went as far as blaming you for the toddler's behavior.

Pull out now. If something goes wrong, like the toddler harming themselves, the other children and even you, what do you think the parent would say? It's all your fault and if you don't rectify this situation now, everyone else will also see it as your fault.

Do what's in your heart and what you believe is right for you and your business.
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