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Old 02-03-2014, 02:14 PM
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Country Kids Country Kids is offline
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Default Routines/Calm Bodies

Hi Everybody! Long time no posting (a few here and there). Been very busy with the childcare-major overhaul, classes, working on rating system, etc.

Anywho-are kids really getting to be so out of control that adults can't handle them. I don't mean big teenagers either, I'm talking about preschoolers/kindergarteners/primary grades.

I have always heard routine is best for kids but it doesn't seem to be easy for alot of them, so I'm wondering is there going to be a new scientific method:

My kiddos have always been a harder bunch. Had the same group for almost 4 years (preschoolers) and then most of my SA for 3-7 years.

We are very routined and nothing changes but they seem to have a hard time with behavior, resting,/sleeping, and just being friend, etc. I have always figured it was just my bunch for some reason but no!

Everyone I talk to says how out of control the itty bittys are and everyone is having a heck of a time getting kids ready for kindergarten because its seems they can't calm their bodies down to listen to anything.

Our kindergarten bus last week was 30 min late pulling out of the parking lot because they couldn't get kids to settle down. Twice they pulled them off the bus and restarted. The bus driver has drivin 20+ years and said she has never seen anything like this and its getting to be a daily thing. These kids having been doing this for 5 months now-they know the routine/expectations/rules.

Its like they don't get what it means to have a calm body, be still, listen, keep hands to their selves, etc. I thought having a routine helped a child but that doesn't seem to be the case anymore.

Anyone else seeing this?
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Old 02-03-2014, 02:26 PM
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Hello CK!!

I think it has to do with the "No-Cry" method of parenting happening right now.

Kids don't have routines at home and basically get whatever they want if they cry.

Parents don't want them to cry, be sad, be upset etc. etc... so they give in.

Parents spend an extraordinary amount of time away from their children now so much of the discipline and guidance necessary for them to be responsible for their own actions and learning routines falls to whomever the primary caretaker is. (usually providers and/or teachers)
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Old 02-03-2014, 02:43 PM
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Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post

Parents spend an extraordinary amount of time away from their children now so much of the discipline and guidance necessary for them to be responsible for their own actions and learning routines falls to whomever the primary caretaker is. (usually providers and/or teachers)
I've been noticing more and more inquiries for child care (for me anyway) for families (where both parents are still together) needing child care 12+ hours a day for 5 days a week . Now I don't work beyond 10 hours a day so they usually are on their way, but it is becoming more and more of an issue. I wonder if the parents are actually working that many hours or if they are spending more and more time without the children intentionally. As an industry, are we eventually going to be forced into working longER hours in order to get clients? I sure hope not but I really worry about the future! I worry about how the children are being raised differently (no crying allowed, babies held all day, no ability to comfort themselves), corporations lack of care for families (longer hours, more "off" hours), more stringent licensing rules (almost to the point of being near impossible), and more focus on earlier "early education" (to the point where children are becoming worksheet drones).
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Old 02-03-2014, 03:57 PM
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Originally Posted by spud912 View Post
I've been noticing more and more inquiries for child care (for me anyway) for families (where both parents are still together) needing child care 12+ hours a day for 5 days a week . Now I don't work beyond 10 hours a day so they usually are on their way, but it is becoming more and more of an issue. I wonder if the parents are actually working that many hours or if they are spending more and more time without the children intentionally. As an industry, are we eventually going to be forced into working longER hours in order to get clients? I sure hope not but I really worry about the future! I worry about how the children are being raised differently (no crying allowed, babies held all day, no ability to comfort themselves), corporations lack of care for families (longer hours, more "off" hours), more stringent licensing rules (almost to the point of being near impossible), and more focus on earlier "early education" (to the point where children are becoming worksheet drones).

I agree with everything you said except this. Although I am totally against the early education trend, no where has there been ANY push for worksheets. "Early Education" is sure way more "teacher" directed than I agree with, but it is not about worksheets.
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Old 02-03-2014, 04:18 PM
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I agree with everything you said except this. Although I am totally against the early education trend, no where has there been ANY push for worksheets. "Early Education" is sure way more "teacher" directed than I agree with, but it is not about worksheets.
I definitely know where you are coming from...absolutely! I just feel like anymore the parents feel their children aren't "learning anything" unless their kids get sent home with something that shows specifically what they worked on today. Most of my educational activities are play based, so the kids are not going home with anything at all except for what's in their brains.

In addition, the schools in my state are extremely focused on "worksheets," including kindergarten. This is not my arbitrary opinion, it's what my teacher friends and children I know who are attending elementary school are showing me. They spend a significant portion of their day sitting in their desks doing worksheets. They spend very little time learning sciences, social studies, art, music and physical activity because the teachers MUST fit in a certain amount of math and literacy studies to go along with the core curriculum. If it's starting there, I can only see it going down to younger ages.
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Old 02-03-2014, 04:47 PM
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hey you how in the heck are you. I miss you!!!~

well this is something that I am learning as well.

first off, yes it is because parents do everything for their kids these days. Like instead of letting kids work through their emotions, they self-soothe for their kids, parents don't sent boundaries, they don't set limits, parents are ok with dropping their kids off all day long, and most of all most feel that is our job to do all of those things for/with their kids. Kids 5 years ago are not the same as kids today.

I have found that the only thing that works for me in my environment is ME. How well I can self manage my own emotions and reactions to the children. The more I can build a bond with these children, make them feel safe (btw I am not saying you are not doing this) get them to trust me and I react softly to them, understand their needs and get to know them as individuals, the better outcome I get with their behavior.

last week I had a new enrollment tell me to Eat $hit. I was very calm, did not change my emotions and just said, that was very hurtful and I did not like it, I would like for you to go in the other room until you can think of nice words to use. The child did just that. I did not over react, I did not get too worked up about it. The child did not get the attention that they were seeking out. We ended it with deciding on some other words that he could use when he was feeling frustrated or angry. I affirmed with him that I understood how he felt and that was that. The rest of the week went smoothly and we are moving forward in a positive way.

I find that the more shared positive interactions I have with the children, the more they crave it, the more they look for me to affirm with them that I am proud of them, that I acknowledge them. I know that when I can relate to them, build bonds with them and they are not anxious or fearful, I can open pathways to learning for everyone.

I know this sounds nuts, but I work daily to give each child at least 25 affirmations and 2 or less prohibitions. sound crazy? its easier than you think.

If a child is doing well, I smile at them, if a child is drawing a picture, I can say wow johnny I see that you are drawing a picture, this lets johnny know that I am aware of him and what he is going and that makes johnny feel good.

I don't have praise junkies and I never say the words good job. For the most part the only real issues I have with my dcks is parents not putting them to bed on time and then again parents in general.

sorry if I got long on this and all over the place. basically I know a lot of us feel that we spend so much of our day correcting behavior or redirecting. When we are always having to do that, it makes it hard for us to build a bond with the children. I used to have to do that all the time. It was until I was able to grab better hold of my own emotions and how I reacted as well as making sure that I could provide an environment of positive affirmations, I was able to turn it around.

you have my email, you are always welcome to email me.

Last edited by daycare; 02-03-2014 at 04:50 PM.
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Old 02-03-2014, 04:49 PM
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Originally Posted by spud912 View Post
I definitely know where you are coming from...absolutely! I just feel like anymore the parents feel their children aren't "learning anything" unless their kids get sent home with something that shows specifically what they worked on today. Most of my educational activities are play based, so the kids are not going home with anything at all except for what's in their brains.

In addition, the schools in my state are extremely focused on "worksheets," including kindergarten. This is not my arbitrary opinion, it's what my teacher friends and children I know who are attending elementary school are showing me. They spend a significant portion of their day sitting in their desks doing worksheets. They spend very little time learning sciences, social studies, art, music and physical activity because the teachers MUST fit in a certain amount of math and literacy studies to go along with the core curriculum. If it's starting there, I can only see it going down to younger ages.
ok...got it! Sorry...I thought you meant that the QRIS's were pushing worksheets. While they are pushing a lot of other crappola, worksheets is not one of them.

I still remember when my son moved from an open classroom in 3rd grade (child focused, hands on learning) to a traditional classroom in 4th grade.

He would CRY over the homework. Stupid worksheets with stupid questions.
Fake example, but close:

Read the text, then answer questions like "what color were the pilgrims hats?" He'd just cry. "WHY do they want to know the reasoning behind the pilgrims hats?" he say. "That's not in the chapter, and I don't know".

Me: "Honey, stop THINKING. Just answer the question. Their hats were black. That's the answer".

There was no MEANING at all in the learning, and he was looking for meaning. Poor guy...
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Old 02-04-2014, 06:57 AM
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Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
Hello CK!!

I think it has to do with the "No-Cry" method of parenting happening right now.

Kids don't have routines at home and basically get whatever they want if they cry.

Parents don't want them to cry, be sad, be upset etc. etc... so they give in.

Parents spend an extraordinary amount of time away from their children now so much of the discipline and guidance necessary for them to be responsible for their own actions and learning routines falls to whomever the primary caretaker is. (usually providers and/or teachers)
I really think you are dead on. In fact, one SAHM and one WAHM sent their children to me to "discipline them" and get them in line. I use a gentle voice but I also don't let them run the show so children leave here listening better than they came and using more manners than when they came. Seriously, I am being paid to instill manners and listening skills in their children....

I've also had a child start scream crying when I disciplined at pick-up (this doesn't phase me, they all try it) and their parent said they would go home and make it better. Your child was going to get squished in the street because you won't make them stay inside and you want to make it better because I made them safe. Sounds great. Another, that left and wanted to come back but I wouldn't allow, slapped and pinched me, I told them no, they started scream crying and the Mom cuddled him and told him it's okay it's okay.

I operate a Christian business and it says so in my name. Children are to obey their parents so we work on that. A lot. I use the word "OBEY" when speaking to them and asking them to do something or correcting them and the parents know it. We talk about how God wants us to OBEY ____. Before coming here, most had never heard of this concept. In fact, obey has become an "ugly word" to many people. All of these people are Christians, though, and so they can't really argue with "God wants us to obey ___."
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Old 02-04-2014, 07:16 AM
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I blame no-cry parenting, motion and confinement equipment while they are infants.... but everyone already knows that.
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Old 02-04-2014, 08:18 AM
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I blame no-cry parenting, motion and confinement equipment while they are infants.... but everyone already knows that.
I agree 100% with you. I think it's the can't get them to and they won't syndrome also. I hear that on a daily basis. My latest is put their coat on, last week two came without coats on 17 month old and a 2 1/2 year old and it was below zero both days, because dcps said I couldn't get them to put in on. If they are never made to do anything at such a young age, I don't know how they will be able to handle life in general.
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Old 02-04-2014, 08:33 AM
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It's also necessary for schools to hire police officers and resource officers because today's kids are so out of control. What saddens and concerns me is that these kids are our future. My area has so many young pregnant girls and young moms that it's ridiculous. Teen dads aren't in the picture. Partying, run-ins with the police, and so on. I'm glad I didn't grow up in today's world but I fear for my children. When I was growing up I knew better!!!
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Old 02-04-2014, 08:42 AM
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Originally Posted by Blackcat31 View Post
Hello CK!!

I think it has to do with the "No-Cry" method of parenting happening right now.

Kids don't have routines at home and basically get whatever they want if they cry.

Parents don't want them to cry, be sad, be upset etc. etc... so they give in.

Parents spend an extraordinary amount of time away from their children now so much of the discipline and guidance necessary for them to be responsible for their own actions and learning routines falls to whomever the primary caretaker is. (usually providers and/or teachers)
You hit the nail on the head!
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Old 02-04-2014, 09:56 AM
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Originally Posted by spud912 View Post
I definitely know where you are coming from...absolutely! I just feel like anymore the parents feel their children aren't "learning anything" unless their kids get sent home with something that shows specifically what they worked on today. Most of my educational activities are play based, so the kids are not going home with anything at all except for what's in their brains.

In addition, the schools in my state are extremely focused on "worksheets," including kindergarten. This is not my arbitrary opinion, it's what my teacher friends and children I know who are attending elementary school are showing me. They spend a significant portion of their day sitting in their desks doing worksheets. They spend very little time learning sciences, social studies, art, music and physical activity because the teachers MUST fit in a certain amount of math and literacy studies to go along with the core curriculum. If it's starting there, I can only see it going down to younger ages.
Quote:
Originally Posted by spud912 View Post
I've been noticing more and more inquiries for child care (for me anyway) for families (where both parents are still together) needing child care 12+ hours a day for 5 days a week . Now I don't work beyond 10 hours a day so they usually are on their way, but it is becoming more and more of an issue. I wonder if the parents are actually working that many hours or if they are spending more and more time without the children intentionally. As an industry, are we eventually going to be forced into working longER hours in order to get clients? I sure hope not but I really worry about the future! I worry about how the children are being raised differently (no crying allowed, babies held all day, no ability to comfort themselves), corporations lack of care for families (longer hours, more "off" hours), more stringent licensing rules (almost to the point of being near impossible), and more focus on earlier "early education" (to the point where children are becoming worksheet drones).


preks here are doing homework, pushing worksheets and requesting parents do nightly flashcard work with their 2-4yos.

Way to fail, there.
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