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  #1  
Old 12-24-2014, 07:54 AM
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trippingontoys trippingontoys is offline
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Default Trying, and Failing.........

To not feel used and abused today. I love most of my daycare kids like they are my own. (One child is a screamer and we just haven't bonded......) But I go out of my way for all of my families. And as I spend my Christmas Eve with two kids while their parent is off work today having a "free day" and my husband and kids are at his families having Christmas I'm feeling a little depressed. I couldn't afford to take off this year since our furnace died and our water heater is leaking and its just been a crappy year financially.

I feel very unappreciated this year. I don't expect presents from my families but I'd be lying if I didn't admit I at least expect a thank you.

One family I have takes off three months (4 kids) a year when dad gets laid off but I hold their spot until they come back because I love the kids. And I really struggle financially during those months. On top of that one child has a medical condition that requires special attention and all their kids are on a special diet that I have to buy more expensive food for. And I haven't raised my prices for any of their kids.

Another family I have changed jobs and went from 7 hours a day to 12 hours a day for almost 9 months and I never charged them extra for starting my day two hours earlier than normal...............

And both of these families are my friends. Maybe therein lies the problem......

I feel guilty for feeling this way and that really makes me feel petty. But then again I really just want to stomp my feet and scream that people should appreciate me.

Christmas is supposed to be about the Joy of Christ being born and I just can't seem to get any joy flowing this year...........

Thanks for listening to me vent. I hope everyone else has a Merry Christmas.
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  #2  
Old 12-24-2014, 09:09 AM
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Laurel Laurel is offline
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It really does suck not to be appreciated. I've had that happen with families before. I'm sorry and I hope they show up at the end of a day with a card or gift (that has also happened to me when I stewed all day).

BUT, I also have to say that you shouldn't hold a spot for four months and you shouldn't do longer hours for anyone without charging more. While I was reading your post I was thinking "Why does she let people treat her this way?" If these families don't appreciate you, I'm sure there are some out there that would. Don't keep doing special things for people that don't appreciate it.

What I did with one family is cut back my generosity when they clearly took it for granted. I stopped giving them things my grandchildren had outgrown (clothes and toys) and what could they do? They weren't going to say "I was wondering if your grandchild has outgrown the next size yet?" I gave their child a birthday gift (after an unappreciated Christmas one) but it was a $3 gift that the child liked rather than a $15 gift like they had gotten in years past. Don't get me wrong, the child loved the $3 gift but I was sending a message to the mom. The message being "I don't HAVE to do these things if they aren't appreciated." My son used to work for a gourmet food company and got to bring things home that didn't sell sometimes so I'd give her food items also. It all stopped. I was still nice as pie. I just didn't do 'extra' things. It sounds kinda mean but it isn't as I have feelings too.

Hope that helps. Just stop.

Laurel
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  #3  
Old 12-24-2014, 11:47 AM
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AuntTami AuntTami is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trippingontoys View Post
To not feel used and abused today. I love most of my daycare kids like they are my own. (One child is a screamer and we just haven't bonded......) But I go out of my way for all of my families. And as I spend my Christmas Eve with two kids while their parent is off work today having a "free day" and my husband and kids are at his families having Christmas I'm feeling a little depressed. I couldn't afford to take off this year since our furnace died and our water heater is leaking and its just been a crappy year financially.

I feel very unappreciated this year. I don't expect presents from my families but I'd be lying if I didn't admit I at least expect a thank you.

One family I have takes off three months (4 kids) a year when dad gets laid off but I hold their spot until they come back because I love the kids. And I really struggle financially during those months. On top of that one child has a medical condition that requires special attention and all their kids are on a special diet that I have to buy more expensive food for. And I haven't raised my prices for any of their kids.

Another family I have changed jobs and went from 7 hours a day to 12 hours a day for almost 9 months and I never charged them extra for starting my day two hours earlier than normal...............

And both of these families are my friends. Maybe therein lies the problem......

I feel guilty for feeling this way and that really makes me feel petty. But then again I really just want to stomp my feet and scream that people should appreciate me.

Christmas is supposed to be about the Joy of Christ being born and I just can't seem to get any joy flowing this year...........

Thanks for listening to me vent. I hope everyone else has a Merry Christmas.
I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time this year. I'm not into christmas this year either. I actually hate christmas, but that's another story.

Unfortunately when you give someone "special" they come to expect it and see it as the "norm". So, they probably aren't even realizing how much extra you actually are doing for them. But, regardless, they should at least be thankful and appreciative and say thank you.

I'm dealing with the same resentment this year. One of my families got me a gift that I'll get January 2nd, and I in return gave them a free week of care, and gave the kiddo a few books, one with a personal message written into it. But this is my "special" family and I would have done those things regardless of whether they got me a gift or not.

The rest of the families? Not even so much as a "thank you" so I totally understand where you're coming from with the feeling unappreciated and wanting to stomp your feet. I feel the same way.

However, I have to agree with PP. You're really only hurting yourself by giving them all that special! I know they're your friends, but think of it as them TAKING a portion of your paycheck every week! Because essentially, they are. You gotta stop giving them a portion of your check! You work hard for your money, you deserve every dime of it. Sit down with them and have a talk and tell them that you need to be compensated for all the "extra" stuff that you're doing for them. 7 hours to 12 hours and you didn't charge extra? That's absurd. I don't even give my special family a deal like that, and I give them a LOT of special!

I hope your christmas turns out better. Have a glass of wine and some cookies, and go to bed early. Hopefully santa will sneak some christmas cheer into you in the night. merry Christmas
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Old 12-24-2014, 12:44 PM
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Laurel Laurel is offline
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Originally Posted by AuntTami View Post
I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time this year. I'm not into christmas this year either. I actually hate christmas, but that's another story.

Unfortunately when you give someone "special" they come to expect it and see it as the "norm". So, they probably aren't even realizing how much extra you actually are doing for them. But, regardless, they should at least be thankful and appreciative and say thank you.

I'm dealing with the same resentment this year. One of my families got me a gift that I'll get January 2nd, and I in return gave them a free week of care, and gave the kiddo a few books, one with a personal message written into it. But this is my "special" family and I would have done those things regardless of whether they got me a gift or not.

The rest of the families? Not even so much as a "thank you" so I totally understand where you're coming from with the feeling unappreciated and wanting to stomp your feet. I feel the same way.

However, I have to agree with PP. You're really only hurting yourself by giving them all that special! I know they're your friends, but think of it as them TAKING a portion of your paycheck every week! Because essentially, they are. You gotta stop giving them a portion of your check! You work hard for your money, you deserve every dime of it. Sit down with them and have a talk and tell them that you need to be compensated for all the "extra" stuff that you're doing for them. 7 hours to 12 hours and you didn't charge extra? That's absurd. I don't even give my special family a deal like that, and I give them a LOT of special!

I hope your christmas turns out better. Have a glass of wine and some cookies, and go to bed early. Hopefully santa will sneak some christmas cheer into you in the night. merry Christmas
Oh cool, I'm not the only one who doesn't care about Christmas. I guess I wouldn't go so far as to say I hate it but it is a pain and I only celebrate it because I have grandchildren. I have two friends in my age range who love Christmas (I am 63). I just don't get it so I asked one of them why she likes it. She actually practically counts down the days with excitement like a little kid. Her answer was so funny. She said "Cause you grew up and I didn't."

I used to do it all. All the work involved and that sucks year after year.

Oh well, I shouldn't hijack this thread but if there was a Bah Humbug thread, I'd chime in.

Laurel
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Old 12-24-2014, 09:39 PM
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MotherNature MotherNature is offline
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Id make the family pay for the special food, or at least cover the difference.
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  #6  
Old 12-24-2014, 10:58 PM
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I think what a lot people don't understand is in some areas, you can't be as picky as some of the posters are here. Not in this thread, but I come on here and have never joined because I simply can't relate to the things some of you guys don't do or term for. The parents where I live aren't into organic, but I've had parents outright tell me their child didn't like an item and was it being served again with a big attitude. I used to ignore them, but they would just take their kids else where. I've had some bad families, but only two or three times in an almost decade have I've been told "Don't take Maria Jones. The family...". With the many many many children I've had who left me I've never once been called for a reference. Even the ones I knew it was due to moving. Terms and refusals are just not done in my area. I can't even charge a decent rate because my area is teaming with centers and home daycares and women who will babysit for very low wages. If you don't serve the food the parents/children like, have prices (without any sort of deposit/paid leave) that are are low, and/or accommodate their hours/days (including holidays) you will have no one to watch. I know the OP said some of these people are her friends, but in some areas you have to go with the flow so to speak.
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Old 12-25-2014, 07:51 PM
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midaycare midaycare is offline
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Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
I think what a lot people don't understand is in some areas, you can't be as picky as some of the posters are here. Not in this thread, but I come on here and have never joined because I simply can't relate to the things some of you guys don't do or term for. The parents where I live aren't into organic, but I've had parents outright tell me their child didn't like an item and was it being served again with a big attitude. I used to ignore them, but they would just take their kids else where. I've had some bad families, but only two or three times in an almost decade have I've been told "Don't take Maria Jones. The family...". With the many many many children I've had who left me I've never once been called for a reference. Even the ones I knew it was due to moving. Terms and refusals are just not done in my area. I can't even charge a decent rate because my area is teaming with centers and home daycares and women who will babysit for very low wages. If you don't serve the food the parents/children like, have prices (without any sort of deposit/paid leave) that are are low, and/or accommodate their hours/days (including holidays) you will have no one to watch. I know the OP said some of these people are her friends, but in some areas you have to go with the flow so to speak.
Different areas definitely call for different marketing. I think if you are in demand, you can do as you see fit. If you set yourself up as different somehow or cater to a specific group of people, do you think this would help?

Last edited by Blackcat31; 12-26-2014 at 09:25 AM.
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Old 12-25-2014, 11:35 PM
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Different areas definitely call for different marketing. I think if you are in demand, you can do as you see fit. If you set yourself up as different somehow or cater to a specific group of people, do you think this would help?
For me, no. The state I live in most everyone qualifies for some type of government assistance with child care unless they're making like 100K and have multiple kids. Once you open a licensed center, you do pretty well. That's the next move for me in 2 years. Just trying to get the money together to get a center that falls into all the zoning regulations and isn't literally 500K. I'm currently licensed from my home, but I can only take a certain number of children. Also, it's very hard to stand out because you have to have certain things. Like most centers have licensed teachers, I'm licensed special ed, and access to something outdoors. Despite having a great yard with playsets, inherited from my children who outgrew them, I'm competing with people who are next to a huge park. I've also tried partnering with people who are certified dance/art/ect teachers. The parents won't pay extra. They know once their child turns three there's free state provided preschool and they get these things for free. So every thing I can do is either already exspected/done by everyone else or would just end up losing me money. There is a lot of bad behavior by parents because they know they can go anywhere else.

Last edited by Blackcat31; 12-26-2014 at 09:29 AM.
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