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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Tattling to the _________
blandino 12:30 PM 01-28-2014
I have a group of 3/4 year olds who tattle constantly. Even if they are okay, they have the impulse to come tell me what happened. I am observing constantly, and correcting where I see fit (and most of those are not related to the tattling I am hearing). I have previously used a large smiley face on the wall named "Fred", who LOVED to hear all of their tattles. I have also heard of the "Go tell the President" method, which I like too.
What do you think of those methods ? I was googling and saw another daycare forum, and they were saying that you should help kids through their tattles, and tell them what to do. I get that, in theory, but I really feel like my kids just want to hear themselves talk, and aren't looking for guidance from me. At this point, I acknowledge what they have said... and that's it. So they aren't getting anything from it, besides maybe a very small amount of attention when I say "okay" or "you have told me".
I personally, don't think that they are harmful - I think my kids just want to express themselves. And if someone/something else can be the recipient of those words, than I would prefer that. We already work on problem solving skills with friends a lot, and I do have them try and tell their friends what they want/ what is bothering them instead of telling me... Thoughts... ?
What do you think of those methods ? I was googling and saw another daycare forum, and they were saying that you should help kids through their tattles, and tell them what to do. I get that, in theory, but I really feel like my kids just want to hear themselves talk, and aren't looking for guidance from me. At this point, I acknowledge what they have said... and that's it. So they aren't getting anything from it, besides maybe a very small amount of attention when I say "okay" or "you have told me".
I personally, don't think that they are harmful - I think my kids just want to express themselves. And if someone/something else can be the recipient of those words, than I would prefer that. We already work on problem solving skills with friends a lot, and I do have them try and tell their friends what they want/ what is bothering them instead of telling me... Thoughts... ?
thetoddlerwhisper 12:39 PM 01-28-2014
i have them tattle to the crabs or the fish
blandino 12:57 PM 01-28-2014
Originally Posted by athacker:
i have them tattle to the crabs or the fish
That's brilliant, except the fish is in the bathroom - and I don't want to send them all the way in there - they would probably think its a treat i have them tattle to the crabs or the fish
Blackcat31 01:14 PM 01-28-2014
I stole Nan's idea and appointed my youngest daycare kid to be our complaint department.
Anytime someone has a tattle or complaint, they go tell DCK (age 18 months). The toddler LOVES the attention.
Anytime someone has a tattle or complaint, they go tell DCK (age 18 months). The toddler LOVES the attention.
TaylorTots 01:43 PM 01-28-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I stole Nan's idea and appointed my youngest daycare kid to be our complaint department.
Anytime someone has a tattle or complaint, they go tell DCK (age 18 months). The toddler LOVES the attention.
Love this!I stole Nan's idea and appointed my youngest daycare kid to be our complaint department.
Anytime someone has a tattle or complaint, they go tell DCK (age 18 months). The toddler LOVES the attention.
Angelsj 04:15 PM 01-28-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I stole Nan's idea and appointed my youngest daycare kid to be our complaint department.
Anytime someone has a tattle or complaint, they go tell DCK (age 18 months). The toddler LOVES the attention.
lol I bet my 4 month old would like it too I stole Nan's idea and appointed my youngest daycare kid to be our complaint department.
Anytime someone has a tattle or complaint, they go tell DCK (age 18 months). The toddler LOVES the attention.
Childminder 04:24 PM 01-28-2014
I just tell them to take a time out if they want to tattle. No time outs cause they change their mind.
Bookworm 04:39 PM 01-28-2014
Originally Posted by Childminder:
I just tell them to take a time out if they want to tattle. No time outs cause they change their mind.
I do this too. I can always tell when someone is about to tattle because they get a certain look. When I see that look, the first thing I say is "Are you about to tattle?" They instantly back off. I have a book about good/bad tattling that we read a few times a month as a reminder.I just tell them to take a time out if they want to tattle. No time outs cause they change their mind.
Cat Herder 04:44 PM 01-28-2014
I have mostly 3-5 year olds right now...
I have had to adapt quickly as my cut off was newly 4 for years. 
**I have been treating tattling as a tantrum of sorts. I actively ignore the complaints. (everything else I tried backfired first 
)
When DCK complains about another child I act like I don't know it is a negative statement (think Sheldon Cooper and Sarcasm). I then ask for a positive one in exchange. If they can't come up with one, I send them to the quiet area to think of one for me....
EX 1:
DCB "___ is copying me!!!"
Me: "Cool! What does ____ do that you like to join in?"
DCB " ___ builds bridges with blocks"
Me: "Why don't you ask ____ to go to blocks with you for a while?
Ex 2:
DCG "___ is touching my book!!!"
Me "Cool! What does ____ have that you would like to join in?"
DCG "Nothing! ____ drools!!!"
Me "OK, well I think it is time for you to do some thinking about ____'s feelings. Go have a seat with your book and let me know when you think of something awesome that you and ____ can do together later." (**point to book center, move ___ to table books/toys (opposite side of room) for some separate time.)
** My thinking is that they could both use a break from one another if there is too much tension. 50+ hours in a small space with ANYONE is enough to cause friction.
It seems to be happening more on late Thursdays and Fridays, here.
So far it is working, I reserve the right to change my mind when it no longer does.
I have had to adapt quickly as my cut off was newly 4 for years. **I have been treating tattling as a tantrum of sorts. I actively ignore the complaints.
(everything else I tried backfired first )When DCK complains about another child I act like I don't know it is a negative statement (think Sheldon Cooper and Sarcasm). I then ask for a positive one in exchange. If they can't come up with one, I send them to the quiet area to think of one for me....
EX 1:
DCB "___ is copying me!!!"
Me: "Cool! What does ____ do that you like to join in?"
DCB " ___ builds bridges with blocks"
Me: "Why don't you ask ____ to go to blocks with you for a while?
Ex 2:
DCG "___ is touching my book!!!"
Me "Cool! What does ____ have that you would like to join in?"
DCG "Nothing! ____ drools!!!"
Me "OK, well I think it is time for you to do some thinking about ____'s feelings. Go have a seat with your book and let me know when you think of something awesome that you and ____ can do together later." (**point to book center, move ___ to table books/toys (opposite side of room) for some separate time.)
** My thinking is that they could both use a break from one another if there is too much tension. 50+ hours in a small space with ANYONE is enough to cause friction.
It seems to be happening more on late Thursdays and Fridays, here.So far it is working, I reserve the right to change my mind when it no longer does.
daycare 04:45 PM 01-28-2014
I find that tattling at my daycare usually occurs when they don't use their words. Miss N. Someone took my car.
I always say what do you need to do? Or go use your words and walk away.
As long as it is not violent or physical in any way, I let them figure it out.
I always say what do you need to do? Or go use your words and walk away.
As long as it is not violent or physical in any way, I let them figure it out.
daycarediva 06:32 PM 01-28-2014
Originally Posted by daycare:
I find that tattling at my daycare usually occurs when they don't use their words. Miss N. Someone took my car.
I always say what do you need to do? Or go use your words and walk away.
As long as it is not violent or physical in any way, I let them figure it out.
I find that tattling at my daycare usually occurs when they don't use their words. Miss N. Someone took my car.
I always say what do you need to do? Or go use your words and walk away.
As long as it is not violent or physical in any way, I let them figure it out.
I say "what have you tried to fix your problem." If it's a toy or noise, etc . Otherwise they get "I see." As in "I see Sally doing x,y,z."
melilley 06:52 PM 01-28-2014
Have them tattle to the person in the mirror....
kendallina 08:03 PM 01-28-2014
What I've seen is that tattling often happens because the tattler wants to see what you're going to do to those being tattled on. They want to see consequences for those that are doing "wrong". I just tell my kiddos, "You only have to worry about yourself and then I ask them, 'are you behaving, doing what you're supposed to do?' They always say, yes and I say, okay, that's all you have to worry about.
With previous groups, I've tried the, "go tell the president" and it never seemed to do anything and even seemed to increase the tattling. But, by focusing on them for a second and asking them if they are behaving and letting them know that they don't have to worry about others, I really don't have a major tattling problem anymore.
With previous groups, I've tried the, "go tell the president" and it never seemed to do anything and even seemed to increase the tattling. But, by focusing on them for a second and asking them if they are behaving and letting them know that they don't have to worry about others, I really don't have a major tattling problem anymore.
blandino 08:20 PM 01-28-2014
Originally Posted by kendallina:
What I've seen is that tattling often happens because the tattler wants to see what you're going to do to those being tattled on. They want to see consequences for those that are doing "wrong". I just tell my kiddos, "You only have to worry about yourself and then I ask them, 'are you behaving, doing what you're supposed to do?' They always say, yes and I say, okay, that's all you have to worry about.
With previous groups, I've tried the, "go tell the president" and it never seemed to do anything and even seemed to increase the tattling. But, by focusing on them for a second and asking them if they are behaving and letting them know that they don't have to worry about others, I really don't have a major tattling problem anymore.
I do the "worry about yourself" thing, but it doesn't help much. They still want to hear themselves talk. I am more convinced it has to do with hearing themselves talk than anything else. We are having a major voice/loudness/jibber jabber issue right now.What I've seen is that tattling often happens because the tattler wants to see what you're going to do to those being tattled on. They want to see consequences for those that are doing "wrong". I just tell my kiddos, "You only have to worry about yourself and then I ask them, 'are you behaving, doing what you're supposed to do?' They always say, yes and I say, okay, that's all you have to worry about.
With previous groups, I've tried the, "go tell the president" and it never seemed to do anything and even seemed to increase the tattling. But, by focusing on them for a second and asking them if they are behaving and letting them know that they don't have to worry about others, I really don't have a major tattling problem anymore.
thetoddlerwhisper 09:43 AM 01-29-2014
our preschool teacher here (3-5yrs) says she uses an empty wipe box. that they call the tattle box. the kids have paper and crayons within reach. they draw a pic of whatever they are wanting to tattle and on fridays at circle they go through it and decide what they can do about the tattles as a group.
Luna 09:59 AM 01-29-2014
Originally Posted by athacker:
our preschool teacher here (3-5yrs) says she uses an empty wipe box. that they call the tattle box. the kids have paper and crayons within reach. they draw a pic of whatever they are wanting to tattle and on fridays at circle they go through it and decide what they can do about the tattles as a group.
I really like this idea. We have a tattle book. When someone starts with their story I hand them the book and a pencil and they can draw a picture. Most of the time they decide they don't really have a story after all, but sometimes they draw their picture. They get to express themselves that way.our preschool teacher here (3-5yrs) says she uses an empty wipe box. that they call the tattle box. the kids have paper and crayons within reach. they draw a pic of whatever they are wanting to tattle and on fridays at circle they go through it and decide what they can do about the tattles as a group.