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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Need Advice on How to Handle Scratching and Pushing
Littleplanet 09:49 AM 12-02-2014
I have two little boys that I care for at the moment. Boy A is going to be 3 the end of this month. Boy B is 4. Boy A went through a biting stage about 6 months ago and we made it through it. He was biting everyone and everything. I did all the right things...time out, not paying attention, paying attention to the other child that was bitten. I told the parents whenever it happened and made sure they knew we were doing all the right things to correct this including talking with the parents of Boy A. Now we have hit the stage of scratching and tackling. The home life of Boy A is typical and they rough house all the time. I have told them it comes here and we don't allow "rough" play. They have toned it back a bit. Boy A runs up to Boy B and pushes, tackles and yesterday scratched his face. He is so fast and it is so unexpected that we can't get there in time to stop it. I told the father of Boy B that he was scratched. He acted like no big deal. This morning, he asks me what I do when this all happens and if I have talked to the parents of Boy A. He knows what we do. I have had his son in my care for almost 2 years now. I'm not sure what he wants me to do. We do everything we can to prevent this. I seperate when it happens. I do time out.
I understand that his son comes home with scratch marks and it seems like something is going on every week. If it were my child I would be upset too but I really am doing everything I can. I will not, however, have Boy A stop coming because of this. He is going to be 3 so he is still learning. The other day he said he hurt Boy B's feelings. So, I know he is starting to get it. It is just a matter of time but I don't want the other boy to be hurt anymore.
Any suggestions?
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Play Care 10:07 AM 12-02-2014
What is your daily schedule like? How much "free" play vs. structured play? Do you have enough toys and games? IMO, it sounds as if more prevention and less reaction is needed.

Child A would be my "buddy" all the time. There would be no "free" play for him. He can't handle it. So it would be provider led/chosen actives. He would not be far enough away from me at any time to where he could run, tackle, or otherwise scratch the other children. When I couldn't be right by his side, he would be placed in a safe spot with an activity. We would be getting a lot of hard core outside time (even if it's cold) and it would again be provider led, physically challenging activity.

*If I couldn't commit to that, I wouldn't keep the child.
*If I felt the child wouldn't listen/respect me to stay put where I put them for safety, then I wouldn't keep that child
*If after a couple weeks of constant shadowing, the other child was still getting hurt, I wouldn't keep that child.

You risk losing "good" kids when you keeps ones with issues. You risk getting a bad reputation when "good" kids continually get hurt in your program.
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Kabob 12:29 PM 12-02-2014
Originally Posted by Play Care:
What is your daily schedule like? How much "free" play vs. structured play? Do you have enough toys and games? IMO, it sounds as if more prevention and less reaction is needed.

Child A would be my "buddy" all the time. There would be no "free" play for him. He can't handle it. So it would be provider led/chosen actives. He would not be far enough away from me at any time to where he could run, tackle, or otherwise scratch the other children. When I couldn't be right by his side, he would be placed in a safe spot with an activity. We would be getting a lot of hard core outside time (even if it's cold) and it would again be provider led, physically challenging activity.

*If I couldn't commit to that, I wouldn't keep the child.
*If I felt the child wouldn't listen/respect me to stay put where I put them for safety, then I wouldn't keep that child
*If after a couple weeks of constant shadowing, the other child was still getting hurt, I wouldn't keep that child.

You risk losing "good" kids when you keeps ones with issues. You risk getting a bad reputation when "good" kids continually get hurt in your program.
Yep. I agree.

I have the ability to section off my play area for children that aren't being gentle or are too young to be playing with the others. I use blankets or towels to define the area (roll them up and section off the desired area) and then repeatedly remind and move them back to their area when they try to cross that boundary. I also keep my problem child with me at all times. If they are showing improvement, they get one chance to show me they can interact kindly with the others...if they start to show signs of being rough...back in their area they go...kids can be so quick!
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Laurel 05:10 AM 12-03-2014
Originally Posted by Play Care:
What is your daily schedule like? How much "free" play vs. structured play? Do you have enough toys and games? IMO, it sounds as if more prevention and less reaction is needed.

Child A would be my "buddy" all the time. There would be no "free" play for him. He can't handle it. So it would be provider led/chosen actives. He would not be far enough away from me at any time to where he could run, tackle, or otherwise scratch the other children. When I couldn't be right by his side, he would be placed in a safe spot with an activity. We would be getting a lot of hard core outside time (even if it's cold) and it would again be provider led, physically challenging activity.

*If I couldn't commit to that, I wouldn't keep the child.
*If I felt the child wouldn't listen/respect me to stay put where I put them for safety, then I wouldn't keep that child
*If after a couple weeks of constant shadowing, the other child was still getting hurt, I wouldn't keep that child.

You risk losing "good" kids when you keeps ones with issues. You risk getting a bad reputation when "good" kids continually get hurt in your program.

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Littleplanet 11:21 AM 12-03-2014
I have been in this business for over ten years now. There is no way that I would give up on a child. At this age, I believe that they are still learning. We are on a schedule and we have plenty to do and go outside. I have never had a child do this before except in a daycare that I use to work at. I have had him since he was 8 weeks old.
I will try the "stay with me" and see how that works. He is very strong willed and very smart for his age. Very quick to act out.
Thanks
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BrooklynM 12:39 PM 12-03-2014
When did boy A start talking? It seems like at 3 typically they should be old enough to know this isn't ok, however, with that being said, for late talkers sometimes at 3 they act more like a 2 year old... also, do his nails need to be cut? Maybe he likes the feeling of scratching with them? ugh...like nails on a chalkboard! haha
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