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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Irrational Fear
Miss A 12:04 PM 07-13-2016
Now that I am providing care in my home, I am obsessively worried about accidentally leaving a mark on a child, or sending a child home with an injury. Today a drop in boy went home with two small surface scratches on his neck from laying on my Fitbit and then rolling off my arm, and I felt awful. After he left, I panicked and felt like I should have checked his whole body for marks. I don't know why I feel like this, I do not abuse the children, or ever touch them in a way to intend to cause pain or marks. I guess I am afraid of the liability, and for someone thinking I abuse their child. Is anyone else this way?
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Thriftylady 01:53 PM 07-13-2016
I am but I also have horrible anxiety about other things, especially finances!

How long have you been doing childcare? If you are new it is possible this is something that will fade with time and experience. Do you find yourself worried about other things or just this? It could be something you doctor could help you with, my medication makes life something I can cope with. If it isn't to that point, then try to talk yourself down so to speak.

When something does happen, document, document, document! If it isn't written down, it either never happened, or someone is hiding something lol. Not that you would ever hide anything, but that is how it is seen.
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Miss A 02:08 PM 07-13-2016
Originally Posted by Thriftylady:
I am but I also have horrible anxiety about other things, especially finances!

How long have you been doing childcare? If you are new it is possible this is something that will fade with time and experience. Do you find yourself worried about other things or just this? It could be something you doctor could help you with, my medication makes life something I can cope with. If it isn't to that point, then try to talk yourself down so to speak.

When something does happen, document, document, document! If it isn't written down, it either never happened, or someone is hiding something lol. Not that you would ever hide anything, but that is how it is seen.
Yes, I have horrible anxiety over everything! I have been on Fluoxitine since I was 14 for it. And they keep raising my dosage. I am on a lower dose now since I am pregnant.

I have been in child care for 4 years, 1 year on my own. I have had weird feelings this week, this one just tops the cake!
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Thriftylady 02:11 PM 07-13-2016
Well I also have depression, so they have found two antidepressants that also help my anxiety. I wonder if it is possible you have been on the same med to long and it isn't working as well for you. I am no doctor though.
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Thriftylady 02:12 PM 07-13-2016
And the lower dosage likely isn't helping. But being pregnant does throw a curve, and being pregnant also makes us feel and experience things differently due to all the hormonal stuff. Hang in there!
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Mike 02:32 PM 07-13-2016
The pregnancy is likely making it worse. Just hang on, and like Thriftylady said, if anything does happen, document. Being male makes even more risk for the day I go into the business, but I'm just going to keep detailed records and maybe have video cameras recording my day in case it's ever needed.
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Michael 03:43 PM 07-13-2016
Originally Posted by Miss A:
Yes, I have horrible anxiety over everything! I have been on Fluoxitine since I was 14 for it. And they keep raising my dosage. I am on a lower dose now since I am pregnant.

I have been in child care for 4 years, 1 year on my own. I have had weird feelings this week, this one just tops the cake!
We've been taking our daughter to an acupuncturist for her anxiety and it is helping.
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Josiegirl 03:57 PM 07-13-2016
Take deep breaths, calm down, it will be fine.

I think even us non-pregnant providers have that fear in the back of our minds. I always feel terrible when I don't notice that something happened, no tears or complaints. Then the next day dcm will come in and say 'did you see the mark on ___'s ____?' I start the panic mode then.
I agree about the meds., most likely the lower dosage plus pregnancy hormones are raising your anxiety levels. But just keep positively reaffirming to yourself it will be okay.
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Miss A 04:22 PM 07-13-2016
Thanks everyone! Pregnancy sure is hard, not just physically but emotionally as well!

The drop in boy is even a son of some of my and my friends, so I know she would contact me if anything was a miss. I think I just feel especially bad about it today because he was only here for 3 hours, and cried/screamed for 2 of them. Mom called to see if he could stay longer and I had to ask her to pick up because he was not settling down, and my regulars were worked up because of him. When mom got here she had been crying and had gotten bad news. I felt especially bad then.

I am so glad to have a community like this though, no one else ever understands!
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EntropyControlSpecialist 05:06 PM 07-13-2016
Originally Posted by Miss A:
Now that I am providing care in my home, I am obsessively worried about accidentally leaving a mark on a child, or sending a child home with an injury. Today a drop in boy went home with two small surface scratches on his neck from laying on my Fitbit and then rolling off my arm, and I felt awful. After he left, I panicked and felt like I should have checked his whole body for marks. I don't know why I feel like this, I do not abuse the children, or ever touch them in a way to intend to cause pain or marks. I guess I am afraid of the liability, and for someone thinking I abuse their child. Is anyone else this way?
Yes. I send a text with a photo when children get hurt (scratch from climbing a small tree low to the ground, knee scrape from falling down) and they have an accident report.

I had a mom 3.5 years ago who was HORRIBLE. Denied every time her children were ill. One time I sent her youngest home ill and she sat on my steps questioning if her upper arms or armpits hurt...why she had this mark on her (it was a bug bite)...etc. It was REALLY uncomfortable and the child just had a stomach bug. They were termed shortly after for continuing to bring their ill children. All of that to say...there's crazy people and I think it's okay to play it safe.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 05:07 PM 07-13-2016
Originally Posted by Josiegirl:
Take deep breaths, calm down, it will be fine.

I think even us non-pregnant providers have that fear in the back of our minds. I always feel terrible when I don't notice that something happened, no tears or complaints. Then the next day dcm will come in and say 'did you see the mark on ___'s ____?' I start the panic mode then.
I agree about the meds., most likely the lower dosage plus pregnancy hormones are raising your anxiety levels. But just keep positively reaffirming to yourself it will be okay.
When that happens I just smile and say, "I didn't see them do anything that would cause that and they weren't upset. We are VERY active here indoors and outdoors!" That seems to go over fine with for all of my families.
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Nurse Jackie 05:47 PM 07-13-2016
When I first started I had a set of siblings that would keep getting hurt. It wasn't anything I did and for the most part unavoidable. I was contemplating throwing in the towel because I didn't want to get sued. Just about every week they would come in with injuries from home also which let me know they were just injury prone. I no longer care for them and since I havent had that problem with anyone else. Now I have moms pointing to injuries they got at home.
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MunchkinWrangler 06:26 PM 07-13-2016
These things happen! Did you tell mom what happened? Sometimes when you explain things openly with a parent there is understanding and you might get find the mom might have her own stories of mishaps happening. That will lower the anxiety a little.
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Daycare Insurance 10:00 AM 07-14-2016
Originally Posted by Thriftylady:
I am but I also have horrible anxiety about other things, especially finances!

How long have you been doing childcare? If you are new it is possible this is something that will fade with time and experience. Do you find yourself worried about other things or just this? It could be something you doctor could help you with, my medication makes life something I can cope with. If it isn't to that point, then try to talk yourself down so to speak.

When something does happen, document, document, document! If it isn't written down, it either never happened, or someone is hiding something lol. Not that you would ever hide anything, but that is how it is seen.
This is great advice. By always documenting any injury, no matter how small, and making sure the parents are aware of it, you are greatly reducing your liability. Of course, you should also make sure you have liability and abuse coverage through your insurance company. If you do those two things, you'll be much better off if a parent ever does make an accusation.
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284878 11:21 AM 07-14-2016
You should of seen me trying to apologize for a red mark on dcb nose. I have no idea how or when it happened. He had fallen outside (new walker) and a mark on nose did not make sense.
Come to find out, it was a bug bite.

There are just somethings you can't avoid.
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Tags:anxiety, depression, fear
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