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TXhomedaycare 08:22 AM 03-21-2017
I have a 3.5 yo dcb that I have been watching for almost 3 years and he is the most sensitive child I have ever met. He cries a lot throughout the day. He gets his feelings hurt easily and takes everything personal. He cries at the thought of almost getting hurt (he slight taps his finger on something or bumps into something softly but cries because he knows it could have hurt him). There have been days that I have almost sent him home because he has cried so much. He is a happy outgoing child but is hyper sensitive and I send him to the restroom collect himself all day. I thought this was a phase 2 years ago but it has not stopped. His mom rolls her eyes and his dad threatens to spank him and I usually talk it out with him and then have him collect himself in the restroom. I am wondering if there is more I can do. I am so tired of him crying over every little thing all day that I am willing to try anything to help him. He is the perfect child outside of this one issue. One thing I will say is that he is always sleepy and takes a good 2 hour nap everyday and would sleep much longer if I let him. His mom let's him stay up late and watch tv and says he won't take naps on the weekend but I wonder if they shut everything down like I do (she said he goes to sleep after 9 pm sometimes at 11). She asked if I would keep him awake and I told her no but I will wake him promptly at 3 when nap is over. Dcm said dcb is just like dad in the sensitivity department and I would agree to a certain degree but not to the point of crying this much. They also let him eat junk food and snacks a lot but that is a different story (never seen him eat a vegetable since I've met him ) Any tips?
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Blackcat31 08:34 AM 03-21-2017
Originally Posted by TXhomedaycare:
I have a 3.5 yo dcb that I have been watching for almost 3 years and he is the most sensitive child I have ever met. He cries a lot throughout the day. He gets his feelings hurt easily and takes everything personal. He cries at the thought of almost getting hurt (he slight taps his finger on something or bumps into something softly but cries because he knows it could have hurt him). There have been days that I have almost sent him home because he has cried so much. He is a happy outgoing child but is hyper sensitive and I send him to the restroom collect himself all day. I thought this was a phase 2 years ago but it has not stopped. His mom rolls her eyes and his dad threatens to spank him and I usually talk it out with him and then have him collect himself in the restroom. I am wondering if there is more I can do. I am so tired of him crying over every little thing all day that I am willing to try anything to help him. He is the perfect child outside of this one issue. One thing I will say is that he is always sleepy and takes a good 2 hour nap everyday and would sleep much longer if I let him. His mom let's him stay up late and watch tv and says he won't take naps on the weekend but I wonder if they shut everything down like I do (she said he goes to sleep after 9 pm sometimes at 11). She asked if I would keep him awake and I told her no but I will wake him promptly at 3 when nap is over. Dcm said dcb is just like dad in the sensitivity department and I would agree to a certain degree but not to the point of crying this much. They also let him eat junk food and snacks a lot but that is a different story (never seen him eat a vegetable since I've met him ) Any tips?
I don't think he's sensitive.

It sounds like he is a bit spoiled, coddled and never really allowed to build coping skills or how to manage frustration (best way to hone those skills is to be told no once in awhile )

I'd enact a crying spot and let him feel however he wants as long as he wants in the crying spot. When he's ready to stop crying, whining or fussing he can come join you and the other kids. It's not time out or punishment as he can choose to stay or leave any time he's done crying.

He seems to be lacking social emotional maturity.
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Snowmom 08:48 AM 03-21-2017
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I don't think he's sensitive.

It sounds like he is a bit spoiled, coddled and never really allowed to build coping skills or how to manage frustration (best way to hone those skills is to be told no once in awhile )

I'd enact a crying spot and let him feel however he wants as long as he wants in the crying spot. When he's ready to stop crying, whining or fussing he can come join you and the other kids. It's not time out or punishment as he can choose to stay or leave any time he's done crying.

He seems to be lacking social emotional maturity.
This... and there isn't much you can do if things at home don't change.
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TXhomedaycare 10:40 AM 03-21-2017
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
I don't think he's sensitive.

It sounds like he is a bit spoiled, coddled and never really allowed to build coping skills or how to manage frustration (best way to hone those skills is to be told no once in awhile )

I'd enact a crying spot and let him feel however he wants as long as he wants in the crying spot. When he's ready to stop crying, whining or fussing he can come join you and the other kids. It's not time out or punishment as he can choose to stay or leave any time he's done crying.

He seems to be lacking social emotional maturity.
He doesn't whine or fuss he only cries and is a big boy when he plays and does learning time (most of the time). He cries for a short period of time to the point that he would never be in the crying spot because he quickly tries to collect himself which is why I send him to the restroom by the time he walks there gets a tissue and is back he is fine (he is not faking). I do agree he is spoiled his dad wants to keep him an only child so he can be spoiled like he was when he grew up (that is what he told me). He is told no by me all the time and I just assumed by now he would have adapted to not getting his way here. I struggle with dealing with him crying all the time so I was hoping it was something I could fix. I grew up tough love so this kid is testing my nerves and after 2 years I thought this would be over.
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Ariana 12:13 PM 03-21-2017
I have a child like this (my own child!) and it is very difficult to deal with. I treat both my kids the same and they hear NO all the time. My 4 year old has been like this since birth. Very fussy, easy to cry and hard to console. She can cry for hours and there is nothing I can do to console her and I have tried it all. In fact the more I push her to "get over it" the worse it gets. Super super sensitive child.

Being over tired makes it infinitely worse and we have begun to recognize that when she gets like this she needs sleep. She seems to need a lot more sleep than my other child did at this age. She has dropped her nap but some days she needs it. She sleeps 12 hours at night and there will still be days where she needs the nap or we get this crying stuff going on. We just went through a bout of it when I started some new kids. I figured it was a bit of jealousy as well as feeling overwhelmed with all the new chaos.

Are there any days when this child is fine? A day where he gets enough sleep and is fine like my kid? Otherwise it might be too much babying going on.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 12:16 PM 03-21-2017
I'd ask the parents to try a full 7 DAYS of putting him to bed at 8:00 or 8:30. See if it improves anything. Could he be overly tired and lacking in good nutrition (minus what he eats at your house)? Maybe.
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Pestle 12:36 PM 03-21-2017
This kid is exhausted. No wonder he's on edge all the time. He needs 12 hours of sleep overall, so a reasonably-long nap plus whatever it takes at home to make up the 12 hours. The parents are disrupting his circadian rhythm with TV, lights, the noise of adults being up, etc.
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Ariana 06:29 PM 03-21-2017
Originally Posted by Pestle:
This kid is exhausted. No wonder he's on edge all the time. He needs 12 hours of sleep overall, so a reasonably-long nap plus whatever it takes at home to make up the 12 hours. The parents are disrupting his circadian rhythm with TV, lights, the noise of adults being up, etc.
I would say a child like this may even need more than 12 hours. My child can sleep 12 hours and then take a 2 hour nap at 4 years old some days it would be crazy to think how my child would do on less than 10 hours of sleep each day.
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daycare 06:43 PM 03-21-2017
I have this child. She gets sent home 3-4 times a week she is so tired she can't control her emotions. She's 5 and parents have zero back bone. She's going to bed at MIDNIGHT some night and at my home at 7:30am.

The child gets 3 chances and if they still can't participate as usual they have to go home. The parents had their other child with me a few years back and same exact thing.

I feel so bad for the child.

With my dck when I truly know they are ok I always say you're safe, you're not hurt let's move on. If they can't, that's 1, then rinse and repeat.

My dck went home early today. Bed last night after yes AFTER midnight and here at 7:30. Dcm said child wet the bed at 4am and didn't go back to sleep. Are you kidding me. Not even 4 hours of sleep and you're trying to make them go to school for 9 hours. Of course they are going to melt down and cry every 5 seconds.

I would send home.
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Tags:learned helplessness, no cry parenting, sensitive
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