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Unregistered 01:28 PM 11-16-2016
When parents pick up & things arent going great with their child 
Backstory: I have this difficult DCG (6mos) that Ive had in my care for 3mos. I ended up terming after 5wks of trying to get her to adjust. I gave DCP 2wks notice & in that time DCG miraculously adjusted & I agreed to keep her. DCG is still difficult at times, but we have come a loooooong way. Whenever I mention a "rough period" of the day to DCM, she always says that she's "worried things will go back to being bad again". Now shes bringing up how worried she is with the holidays approaching & DCG being away for the break/how she will do when she comes back. She's definitely one of my more jumpy parents.
Because I know how worried she is & because I also know that parents only get a snapshot of our entire day at drop-off & pick-ups, I try my best to map out DCG nap/feedings so that she will be happy at pick up. Today was not one of those days. DCM picked up 15min later than usual (still within her contracted time) & DCG had started wailing out of nowhere (something that she does quite often) 5min before she walked in the door. So DCM walks in to me holding/feeding a swaddled baby that is trying to fall asleep in one arm & bouncing a screaming DCG in my other arm. Of course she grabs DCG & hugs her asking what is wrong etc. before I can answer she asks if shes been like this all day. I say no, of course not its the end of the day & shes approaching being either tired or hungry. So now Im feeling worried about the way she perceived all of that. Should I text her & reassure her that the entire day was not like that?
Backstory: I have this difficult DCG (6mos) that Ive had in my care for 3mos. I ended up terming after 5wks of trying to get her to adjust. I gave DCP 2wks notice & in that time DCG miraculously adjusted & I agreed to keep her. DCG is still difficult at times, but we have come a loooooong way. Whenever I mention a "rough period" of the day to DCM, she always says that she's "worried things will go back to being bad again". Now shes bringing up how worried she is with the holidays approaching & DCG being away for the break/how she will do when she comes back. She's definitely one of my more jumpy parents.
Because I know how worried she is & because I also know that parents only get a snapshot of our entire day at drop-off & pick-ups, I try my best to map out DCG nap/feedings so that she will be happy at pick up. Today was not one of those days.
DCM picked up 15min later than usual (still within her contracted time) & DCG had started wailing out of nowhere (something that she does quite often) 5min before she walked in the door. So DCM walks in to me holding/feeding a swaddled baby that is trying to fall asleep in one arm & bouncing a screaming DCG in my other arm. Of course she grabs DCG & hugs her asking what is wrong etc. before I can answer she asks if shes been like this all day. I say no, of course not its the end of the day & shes approaching being either tired or hungry. So now Im feeling worried about the way she perceived all of that. Should I text her & reassure her that the entire day was not like that?
Mom2Two 02:11 PM 11-16-2016
I think it would be great to text, especially if it makes you feel better too.
Also you could try to give her perspective each day, like "totally normal for this age" or something.
I've had a family of two sibs where I didn't always tell mom every single thing the kids did, because I felt like I had a grip on it and I didn't want to sound negative all the time. As time went by and they got older and more able to understand rules, things got better anyway. I still did tell mom some problems, but I didn't want to come across like the kids were too much for me.
Also you could try to give her perspective each day, like "totally normal for this age" or something.
I've had a family of two sibs where I didn't always tell mom every single thing the kids did, because I felt like I had a grip on it and I didn't want to sound negative all the time. As time went by and they got older and more able to understand rules, things got better anyway. I still did tell mom some problems, but I didn't want to come across like the kids were too much for me.
Crazy8 06:51 AM 11-17-2016
I would text her to recap a little about how good she was at other times of the day. I would also send some pics when dcg is happy.
I have had a little girl having a terrible time since September but things are getting better. So while I try to be honest about her bad times (because I was thinking of terming) I also send mom pics of dcg having a good time because I know as a parent it is hard to think your child is unhappy all day.
I have had a little girl having a terrible time since September but things are getting better. So while I try to be honest about her bad times (because I was thinking of terming) I also send mom pics of dcg having a good time because I know as a parent it is hard to think your child is unhappy all day.