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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>How Do You Handle Parents That Don't Send Outdoor Clothes?
Lorna 05:49 AM 12-18-2014
Well its cold here and we have to have ski pants, mitts, hats etc for outdoor play. Everyone except one child all week have their stuff. I have one child and the mom says she lost the ski pants in her house and has to find them. But its Thursday already. Poor kids want to go outside.

How do you handle this? I cna't leave one child in the house when we go out. She is putting me in an impossible position.
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Blackcat31 05:56 AM 12-18-2014
I require ALL children to have proper outdoor gear.

Check upon drop off and refuse care if the child is missing anything.

I refuse to keep all the children inside because one parent forgot or doesn't send the proper gear.

If she already dropped off, call and let her know you are going out at x time and she can either come drop off the proper gear or pick up BEFORE that time.

Check daily at drop off if necessary
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daycarediva 06:03 AM 12-18-2014
What BC said exactly. I send them home. Not my problem.
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CraftyMom 06:13 AM 12-18-2014
Some people refuse the child without proper gear. Some will call the parent to bring the items.

I had a very similar situation last week. I have it in my handbook that by mid to late fall the kids will start requiring their winter gear of snow pants, warm boots, mittens, hat. Not just for snow, but to keep warm. Then on Dec 3rd I gave out my newsletter with a whole section that these items are required everyday. Kids get cold fast if not dressed properly and we go outside as often as possible through the winter and we will not stay in due to anyone being unprepared. Also I will not supply extras for those who "forget". Previously I had one set of extras and ended up with families who regularly "forgot". Not really true, they just counted on me to have extras, one less thing for them to do. The trouble came when 3 kids were relying on my one set of extras...so no more extras.

I also go over these things at interviews, so that's 3 times I "tell" parents that these items are required (interview, handbook and newsletter)

So last week dcb comes with just a coat. This was right after they received the newsletter. So we went outside. I didn't realize until it was time to go out, I was not going to keep everyone in...it was snowing and they were excited! Not too cold, probably in the 30's, but cold enough to need gear. Dcb was cold but not freezing, I had him put his hands in his pockets and he wore his hood, he was fine.

So when mom picks up she sees everyone else's gear that was drying and says "Oh should I bring his winter stuff?" I didn't even answer because now I know that she didn't read the newsletter that she JUST received a few days prior, I dedicated a whole section to winter gear, she couldn't have missed it.

I post pics on my fb daycare page almost daily. I had posted pics of the kids outside that day. This week he arrived with all his outdoor gear. His mom says "I feel like a bad mom, he had to put his hands in his pockets! I saw the pics of them outside. I didn't realize he would need his outdoor stuff". Ummm, he's 2.5. We go outside almost daily. It's cold. Even if I didn't say they needed it, how could you not realize he needed outdoor gear?

I guess seeing it for herself was a better way to get the point across. I mean if she didn't get it after the first 3 times I "talked" about it...
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Lorna 07:13 AM 12-18-2014
Well the mom did find the pants and brought them today. i think I will post a note on the door if they don't have proper outdoor gear the parents will be called to pick up the child. This parent is just so difficult. I know she will make a rude comment that is just the way she is.

We don't always get to go out everyday but I want to be able to go out if we choose to go out. Its so cold here in the winter. and this week earlier was warmer so it would have been nice to get out. But we are going out today but won't be able to stay out long cause its 9 below with wind chill.
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Leigh 07:29 AM 12-18-2014
Start requiring families to LEAVE a set of snowgear at your home. A pair of snowpants at a second hand store can be had for $5-$10. WalMart has boots for about $12-they're not good boots, but they're better than nothing. It eliminates the "forgetfulness". It forces you to store the stuff, which isn't fun, but at least you have the freedom to go outdoors.

As far as leaving the child indoors, I have had them sit right inside my door in the past, where I could still see them. My new home has a walkout basement, which makes it very possible for me to leave a child inside and still have complete visual access to all of the kids.
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Angelsj 08:02 AM 12-18-2014
I used to be more strict, but now I just keep extras here. I buy them myself or have gotten them hand me down over the years. Less stress for me.
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Blackcat31 08:11 AM 12-18-2014
Originally Posted by Lorna:
Well the mom did find the pants and brought them today. i think I will post a note on the door if they don't have proper outdoor gear the parents will be called to pick up the child. This parent is just so difficult. I know she will make a rude comment that is just the way she is.

We don't always get to go out everyday but I want to be able to go out if we choose to go out. Its so cold here in the winter. and this week earlier was warmer so it would have been nice to get out. But we are going out today but won't be able to stay out long cause its 9 below with wind chill.
What kind of rude comment?

If it's about having to come bring the snow pants, ask her why it's fair that her forgetfulness or lack of supplies should mean the other kids suffer...

Otherwise, ask her if she would prefer you just have her child go outside without the proper gear...her call.

I don't understand parents who make rude comments to their providers about things that are required to make THEIR child's day an enjoyable one.
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Crazy8 08:11 AM 12-18-2014
we go outside regardless of who brings what (but I'm a wimp and we don't go outside when its freezing cold). I find different parents have different ideas of what is acceptable weather for a sweatshirt, coat, hat, gloves, etc. I am not going to fight them - they know we go outside, they know the weather, it is their responsibility and decision to provide what they feel is the appropriate gear for their child for the weather forecast that day.

I have had some who have seen pictures of other kids and then got clued in as well.
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finsup 08:47 AM 12-18-2014
I have had parents in the past "forget" on purpose because they thought if their child didn't have gear, we wouldn't go outside. I had two girls who hated to go outside in the cold and would cry and whine to Mom every day we did. For them, I simply picked up the ugliest looking winter gear I could find (they were both old enough where that bothered them) and said "oh! forgot again huh? Good thing I have extra, here ya go!" Sending them home would have worked too but at that time I didn't have a strong enough backbone. Now I typically just pick up extra winter gear, or save my kids old stuff and put dck's in that. I don't mind, it makes it easier on everyone. But I also have a small enough group where that's easy to do and hasn't ever cost me more then 20$ a year (lawn sales etc are where it comes from and it's an expense I figure into my rates).
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daycare 09:03 AM 12-18-2014
kids who don't have proper supplies or their day, don't come. I send them back until they do have them.
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nannyde 09:07 AM 12-18-2014
I supply them.
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nothingwithoutjoy 10:42 AM 12-18-2014
Originally Posted by Angelsj:
I buy them myself or have gotten them hand me down over the years. Less stress for me.
Me, too. I also post lots of pictures to our blog and to facebook and send daily emails, in which I remind about the gear we need (which is also in the handbook, of course). But, inevitably, someone will forget anyway. Or play dumb. Or only go outside themselves to walk to their warm car, so they don't get it at all why we need actually-warm clothing. No way am I staying in, and I wouldn't be comfortable sending them home, so it's easier for me to just keep spares on hand.
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Lorna 10:45 AM 12-18-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
What kind of rude comment?

If it's about having to come bring the snow pants, ask her why it's fair that her forgetfulness or lack of supplies should mean the other kids suffer...

Otherwise, ask her if she would prefer you just have her child go outside without the proper gear...her call.

I don't understand parents who make rude comments to their providers about things that are required to make THEIR child's day an enjoyable one.
Just rude the way she talks to me. Snitty might be a good word to describe her. She has been a pain in the butt to deal with everytime I had to change a policy. Its not fair that she has to pay for a stat when he isn't there. Its not fair she has to pay for a day when he is sick. Very snitty the way she talks. Difficult and makes make dread telling her any changes that there are.
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Lorna 10:53 AM 12-18-2014
i bought 5 or 6 pairs of splash pants because the kids were not bringing them. But I give up. I honestly dont get paid enough to provide all the children with outdoor gear. Unfortunately its a small town and there isn't a used clothing store. Most of the kids have really good brand name clothes so I know they wouldn't want to buy extras. Most parents do leave the ski pants here during the week. But this mom brought them home on the weekend and then lost them in her house.

I'll put up a note in the doorway. I do have it in my handbook that the children must have proper outdoor clothing. But I don't have that I will send the child home at outside time or not accept the child into care in the morning.

this same mom send her kid with no pullups. I had to run to the store at naptime and get my daughter to watch the kids and buy the pullups. She didn't even say thank you. It was like she was pissed with me for buying them. Next time He can't come without the diapers.
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Blackcat31 10:58 AM 12-18-2014
Originally Posted by Lorna:
Just rude the way she talks to me. Snitty might be a good word to describe her. She has been a pain in the butt to deal with everytime I had to change a policy. Its not fair that she has to pay for a stat when he isn't there. Its not fair she has to pay for a day when he is sick. Very snitty the way she talks. Difficult and makes make dread telling her any changes that there are.
I'm sorry.

No one deserves to be treated that way and I'd be tempted to outright ask her if she is unhappy with your services the next time she is snitty to you.

If she acts all innocent, tell her she needs to be more respectful and/or to watch her tone. You don't work FOR her.

You provider services for a fee. If she is unhappy with those services (you included) then she is free to go elsewhere.

Again, I am sorry you are dealing with a parent like that.
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EntropyControlSpecialist 10:58 AM 12-18-2014
Originally Posted by Lorna:
Just rude the way she talks to me. Snitty might be a good word to describe her. She has been a pain in the butt to deal with everytime I had to change a policy. Its not fair that she has to pay for a stat when he isn't there. Its not fair she has to pay for a day when he is sick. Very snitty the way she talks. Difficult and makes make dread telling her any changes that there are.
Make a joke about her bad behavior in your head, then. Every time she is snotty...DRINK. Okay, a different game. Ha.

Every time my mom who is leaving here says something to me rudely, I play the "I'm dumb and can't understand so I will just smile and say, "OF COURSE! "" to her game. It is quite fun.
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AuntTami 11:08 AM 12-18-2014
I make everyone leave a set of gear here. Snowpants, boots, hat and gloves. They get stored in my front entry way in their cubbies. It's cold enough here that everyone comes in a coat, so I don't worry about that. But, I'm not about to keep everyone inside because one child doesnt have the proper gear. I live in Wisconsin, the days during the winter that we can actually go out are numbered and the weather varies so much that it's just easier to have everyone leave a set of stuff here.

I would buy hats/gloves if needed, but I wouldn't supply snowpants or boots unless I was charging extra for that some how.

One of my little guys had gloves here but I lost them a couple weeks ago, so I put some long wool socks on his hands. His hands stayed warmer than the kiddos with gloves and because they were long and pulled up to his shoulders, they didnt constantly fall off like gloves do!

I'm almost wondering if I can make up a sewing project with the wool socks and make everyone a pair of gloves out of them since they're so warm and SO much easier to keep on.

After the 5th time of putting everyone's gloves back on(and of course theyre gloves, not mittens so I have to make sure each finger goes in each hole, which is hard with 1.5 year olds!), I'm so frustrated that we just go back inside LOL.
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CraftyMom 11:17 AM 12-18-2014
Originally Posted by AuntTami:

After the 5th time of putting everyone's gloves back on(and of course theyre gloves, not mittens so I have to make sure each finger goes in each hole, which is hard with 1.5 year olds!), I'm so frustrated that we just go back inside LOL.
I require mittens, no gloves. They keep hands warmer than gloves do and kids can usually put them on alone. I will not thread 12 hands into gloves.
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AuntTami 11:22 AM 12-18-2014
Originally Posted by CraftyMom:
I require mittens, no gloves. They keep hands warmer than gloves do and kids can usually put them on alone. I will not thread 12 hands into gloves.
Are they still able to play and use their hands in the mittens? If so, I'm definitely going to jump on that bandwagon then! I know personally, I have a much harder time doing ANYTHING with mittens on, so I assumed the same would be true for littles.
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Lorna 11:23 AM 12-18-2014
Originally Posted by AuntTami:
I make everyone leave a set of gear here. Snowpants, boots, hat and gloves. They get stored in my front entry way in their cubbies. It's cold enough here that everyone comes in a coat, so I don't worry about that. But, I'm not about to keep everyone inside because one child doesnt have the proper gear. I live in Wisconsin, the days during the winter that we can actually go out are numbered and the weather varies so much that it's just easier to have everyone leave a set of stuff here.

I would buy hats/gloves if needed, but I wouldn't supply snowpants or boots unless I was charging extra for that some how.

One of my little guys had gloves here but I lost them a couple weeks ago, so I put some long wool socks on his hands. His hands stayed warmer than the kiddos with gloves and because they were long and pulled up to his shoulders, they didnt constantly fall off like gloves do!

I'm almost wondering if I can make up a sewing project with the wool socks and make everyone a pair of gloves out of them since they're so warm and SO much easier to keep on.

After the 5th time of putting everyone's gloves back on(and of course theyre gloves, not mittens so I have to make sure each finger goes in each hole, which is hard with 1.5 year olds!), I'm so frustrated that we just go back inside LOL.

Yeah our weather here is the same. Very very cold at time. earlier this week we were at about 5 below zero Celcius. Then it dropped today to 15 below. But with the sun it was really nice to get out with them. Alot of the time with the wind chill its just too cold for the kids. Plus its so much work getting them all dressed. So we don't go outside in the winter 5 days a week. But I can't go a whole week without going out unless the wind chill is really bad.

lol just thinking in my head how this mom is going to react when she reads the note on the door. She will probably say well you never bring them out everyday anyways! or really you won't take my child because I don't have snow pants. Do I have to pay for the day! uggg lol

Btw the note is very simple and straight to the point.
"Please ensure that your child has proper outdoor clothing when you drop them off in the morning. All children must have proper snow pants, mitts, hats, winter jackets, boots, etc.

If you have forgotten items I will not be able to take your child into care for the day. Its not fair to the other children to not be able to go outside.

Thanks in Advance"
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CraftyMom 11:23 AM 12-18-2014
Oh and this one time last winter a particular boy's parents kept forgetting his boots toward the end of winter but we still needed them due to mud. My extra pair were pink. I was sure to take pics on those days...dad wasn't happy seeing his boy running around in pink boots (the boy LOVED pink too). The first time he commented on it I said "Ok, so I guess you'll be sure to remember his boots from now on?" He did.

Another parent, after me telling him last year that I didn't have enough extras for everyone that kept "forgetting" told me "well if you could text me the day before and give me a heads up if you'll be going outside then I'd remember" I told him "As mentioned in my handbook and in my newsletter, we go outside EVERY DAY unless it is too hot, too cold, too windy or too wet. You can assume we are going out everyday, that way he will be prepared." Mind you I had mentioned this to him in person as well as in print. Text me the day before...really?
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Lorna 11:24 AM 12-18-2014
Originally Posted by CraftyMom:
I require mittens, no gloves. They keep hands warmer than gloves do and kids can usually put them on alone. I will not thread 12 hands into gloves.

oh my gloves I can't even get thumbs in most of my kids mitts!
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CraftyMom 11:29 AM 12-18-2014
Originally Posted by AuntTami:
Are they still able to play and use their hands in the mittens? If so, I'm definitely going to jump on that bandwagon then! I know personally, I have a much harder time doing ANYTHING with mittens on, so I assumed the same would be true for littles.
My kids have always been fine. They don't have a ton of dexterity in them, but their hands stay warm. No one has complained They are still able to go up and down the slide and use the ride ons (if there isn't too much snow). Usually my dcks do a lot of running and climbing outside in the winter, nothing requiring much finger dexterity, so mittens are fine
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AuntTami 11:30 AM 12-18-2014
Originally Posted by Lorna:
oh my gloves I can't even get thumbs in most of my kids mitts!
I only have 3, so that helps

As far as the moms comment, I would just tell her "No, we don't go out every day. When we go out is determined by the weather and since I can't control the weather, just assume we are going out every day, and send the proper gear."

"Yes you still have to pay. A place was reserved for him today that cannot be filled on short notice. You've been told many times to send the proper gear, and you neglected to do so, so I cannot accept him"
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KSDC 11:33 AM 12-18-2014
Originally Posted by AuntTami:
Are they still able to play and use their hands in the mittens? If so, I'm definitely going to jump on that bandwagon then! I know personally, I have a much harder time doing ANYTHING with mittens on, so I assumed the same would be true for littles.
I have this rule too. It takes so long just to get them all into snow pants, coats, hats, and boots. I will not add gloves to the mix! They can most definitely play in mittens! Outside we are mainly doing gross motor skills. We save fine motor stuff for inside during the winter.
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Blackcat31 11:39 AM 12-18-2014
ONLY the children that are able to do it themselves are allowed to bring gloves.

Everyone else is required to bring waterproof mittens.

As for staying on, one of my DCM's took a tube sock, cut off the toe and sewed the sock onto the cuff of the mittens. Now the sock part goes up and over the elbow before we put their coat on and the mittens stay put. The kids couldn't take them off if they tried.

They also make mittens that are like that too...they are called Lbows
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AuntTami 11:48 AM 12-18-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
ONLY the children that are able to do it themselves are allowed to bring gloves.

Everyone else is required to bring waterproof mittens.

As for staying on, one of my DCM's took a tube sock, cut off the toe and sewed the sock onto the cuff of the mittens. Now the sock part goes up and over the elbow before we put their coat on and the mittens stay put. The kids couldn't take them off if they tried.

They also make mittens that are like that too...they are called Lbows
You're a GENIUS! Or I guess your DCM is a genius! I'm going to do that with some gloves this weekend I think.

All of our big outside toys are put into storage for the winter, so we make a lot of stuff with snow, and we paint in the snow etc. so while they don't need complete dexterity, they do need to be able to do some things with their fingers, so that's why I elected gloves. But putting them on over and over again is a pain, so I think I'm going to try the sock thing! If that doesn't work, then next year I'll require mittens instead.
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Lorna 11:52 AM 12-18-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
ONLY the children that are able to do it themselves are allowed to bring gloves.

Everyone else is required to bring waterproof mittens.

As for staying on, one of my DCM's took a tube sock, cut off the toe and sewed the sock onto the cuff of the mittens. Now the sock part goes up and over the elbow before we put their coat on and the mittens stay put. The kids couldn't take them off if they tried.

They also make mittens that are like that too...they are called Lbows
that is a great idea!! maybe I'll have to do something like that for christmas presents next year.
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daycare 12:03 PM 12-18-2014
ok you can't laugh at me I am from the desert and have never lived near snow.

what is the difference between glove and mitten? I see BC post and I always thought it is the same thing?
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AuntTami 12:06 PM 12-18-2014
Originally Posted by daycare:
ok you can't laugh at me I am from the desert and have never lived near snow.

what is the difference between glove and mitten? I see BC post and I always thought it is the same thing?
Gloves have 5 seperate finger holes, mittens only have a thumb hole and a large hole for all the other fingers to nestle into together. Thats why mittens are warmer, the fingers are all together keeping eachother warm, where with gloves all the fingers are separated.
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AuntTami 12:09 PM 12-18-2014


The left is a glove, the right is a mitten
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Blackcat31 12:10 PM 12-18-2014
Originally Posted by daycare:
ok you can't laugh at me I am from the desert and have never lived near snow.

what is the difference between glove and mitten? I see BC post and I always thought it is the same thing?
No worries...if you've never lived near snow, you'd have no reason to know.

Glove:




Mittens:


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Luna 12:17 PM 12-18-2014
I also sewed some long sock cuffs to some mittens for the kids...I'm thinking I read it on this board! I've used them for 3-4 years now, and they are awesome.
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deliberateliterate 12:25 PM 12-18-2014
Originally Posted by CraftyMom:

Another parent, after me telling him last year that I didn't have enough extras for everyone that kept "forgetting" told me "well if you could text me the day before and give me a heads up if you'll be going outside then I'd remember" I told him "As mentioned in my handbook and in my newsletter, we go outside EVERY DAY unless it is too hot, too cold, too windy or too wet. You can assume we are going out everyday, that way he will be prepared." Mind you I had mentioned this to him in person as well as in print. Text me the day before...really?
I'd be so tempted to take him up on his offer and text him the exact same thing every. single. day.
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bananas 12:51 PM 12-18-2014
I supply them. I'm very particular about what sort of gear I like - all the kids I watch are between 2 and 3 and are potty trained/potty training. I like pants that slip off quickly (no overalls, no one pieces), and I prefer thin cotton gloves or mittens (versus the super thick water resistant kind) that don't take me 15 minutes to put on their itty bitty fingers. I have a complete closet full of coats ranging from thin sweaters to marshmallow coats. I have extra hats, boots, rain suits, you name it!
You can get all of these at the thrift store for next to nothing - I have found wonderful brands too like REI, Patagonia, etc.
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CraftyMom 01:55 PM 12-18-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
ONLY the children that are able to do it themselves are allowed to bring gloves.

Everyone else is required to bring waterproof mittens.

As for staying on, one of my DCM's took a tube sock, cut off the toe and sewed the sock onto the cuff of the mittens. Now the sock part goes up and over the elbow before we put their coat on and the mittens stay put. The kids couldn't take them off if they tried.

They also make mittens that are like that too...they are called Lbows
That's awesome, I'll have to do that! When I was kid my mom used to put long socks on our hands under our mittens for extra warmth and so our wrists stayed covered. I had forgotten about her doing that until you just mentioned it. My mom passed away 3 years ago Dec 23. It's nice to have little memories slip in, thank you!
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Blackcat31 02:01 PM 12-18-2014
Originally Posted by CraftyMom:
That's awesome, I'll have to do that! When I was kid my mom used to put long socks on our hands under our mittens for extra warmth and so our wrists stayed covered. I had forgotten about her doing that until you just mentioned it. My mom passed away 3 years ago Dec 23. It's nice to have little memories slip in, thank you!



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Laurel 02:37 PM 12-18-2014
Originally Posted by deliberateliterate:
I'd be so tempted to take him up on his offer and text him the exact same thing every. single. day.


Or even call him. He should feel pretty dumb after a couple of those calls.

Laurel
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Laurel 02:41 PM 12-18-2014
Originally Posted by Lorna:
i bought 5 or 6 pairs of splash pants because the kids were not bringing them. But I give up. I honestly dont get paid enough to provide all the children with outdoor gear. Unfortunately its a small town and there isn't a used clothing store. Most of the kids have really good brand name clothes so I know they wouldn't want to buy extras. Most parents do leave the ski pants here during the week. But this mom brought them home on the weekend and then lost them in her house.

I'll put up a note in the doorway. I do have it in my handbook that the children must have proper outdoor clothing. But I don't have that I will send the child home at outside time or not accept the child into care in the morning.

this same mom send her kid with no pullups. I had to run to the store at naptime and get my daughter to watch the kids and buy the pullups. She didn't even say thank you. It was like she was pissed with me for buying them. Next time He can't come without the diapers.
What you can do for the pull ups is to charge her $5 per pull up if you have to use your own. I knew of a daycare center that did that. Either that, or add the cost of them to their next week's tuition and give them the rest.

Laurel
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Lorna 03:45 PM 12-18-2014
Originally Posted by Laurel:
What you can do for the pull ups is to charge her $5 per pull up if you have to use your own. I knew of a daycare center that did that. Either that, or add the cost of them to their next week's tuition and give them the rest.

Laurel
ohh I like that!

btw the parent picked up and read the note. She says oh did something happen today. I said no some of the parents complained that the kids need to get outside at least 2 or 3 times a week. lol she replied. Yes I agree. Wow she totally didn't get that they couldn't go out because her son didn't have pants. Maybe she will go home and think about it and it will sink in.
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CraftyMom 05:08 PM 12-18-2014
Originally Posted by deliberateliterate:
I'd be so tempted to take him up on his offer and text him the exact same thing every. single. day.
Originally Posted by Laurel:


Or even call him. He should feel pretty dumb after a couple of those calls.

Laurel
I should have!
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Unregistered 04:34 AM 12-19-2014
Originally Posted by Angelsj:
I used to be more strict, but now I just keep extras here. I buy them myself or have gotten them hand me down over the years. Less stress for me.
This is what I do too. I do remind parents, and put a note on the door. I do keep extras here. Works for me. But I really hate wrangling kids into snowpants. I go above and beyond on quality care but I hate all the work of all the winter gear. We many times go out without snowpants and play on sidewalk. I'm in a small protected valley, so no wind. We face south, so lots of sun. We go for walks too. They run around and get fresh air. Good enough!
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daycare 03:12 PM 12-19-2014
Originally Posted by Blackcat31:
No worries...if you've never lived near snow, you'd have no reason to know.

Glove:




Mittens:

so if its leather its a glove and yarn it's a mitten?? thanks for making me not feel stupid
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