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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Taking In My Own Families Children?
Lil_Diddle 10:15 PM 09-14-2017
So firstly, I am super excited to announce that I am going to be a grandma!!! My stepson and his long-time gf are having a baby. I really am thrilled by this, and find the humor in that my own 2 year old child is going to be an uncle.
Anyways, they have both told me that that they want to bring the baby to my childcare. We haven't really had much conversation beyond that. It's still pretty early in the pregnancy that I have some time before we need to have a discussion of my expectations. In all honesty, it feels strange to me to even have a conversation with them that I would have with other clients and discussing contracts. But I also know that family and friends are more likely to push limits.
I'm curious of others thoughts on a few things;
Would you have your own children sign a contract for caring for your grandchildren?
I'm hoping that they do not expect me to care for their child for free, but would any of you offer a discount, and how much? In my state grandchildren do not count in ratios so caring for my gandaby would be extra income. But I already have a baby that will be enrolled next year, so the extra money will go to paying for extra hours from an assistant so I can focus on the preschool activities of the older children that is my strong point, and also includes my own child. However, they are a young couple just starting out. She a bank teller and him in the carpenters union like my own husband. So I know they are doing ok. But as a mother, I obviously want to help them so they can save for other things like a down payment on a home.
Finally, the one part that is really bothering me on how to handle. The last few years I have started caring for teacher's children and have made that the direction to continue in. The schedule works perfectly that I can have extra time with my own biological children ages 10 and 2. I know that their jobs would not work with that schedule, how would you handle that? It will be almost impossible for them to find part time care for an infant for such long times. I love taking off an extended Christmas break and last summer taking off the entire month of June. I know I will absolutely love this baby, but I want to spend that time just being with my own babies.
I would really love to hear some of your thoughts, opionions and some experience in the matter before having an official discussion with them.
Anyways, they have both told me that that they want to bring the baby to my childcare. We haven't really had much conversation beyond that. It's still pretty early in the pregnancy that I have some time before we need to have a discussion of my expectations. In all honesty, it feels strange to me to even have a conversation with them that I would have with other clients and discussing contracts. But I also know that family and friends are more likely to push limits.
I'm curious of others thoughts on a few things;
Would you have your own children sign a contract for caring for your grandchildren?
I'm hoping that they do not expect me to care for their child for free, but would any of you offer a discount, and how much? In my state grandchildren do not count in ratios so caring for my gandaby would be extra income. But I already have a baby that will be enrolled next year, so the extra money will go to paying for extra hours from an assistant so I can focus on the preschool activities of the older children that is my strong point, and also includes my own child. However, they are a young couple just starting out. She a bank teller and him in the carpenters union like my own husband. So I know they are doing ok. But as a mother, I obviously want to help them so they can save for other things like a down payment on a home.
Finally, the one part that is really bothering me on how to handle. The last few years I have started caring for teacher's children and have made that the direction to continue in. The schedule works perfectly that I can have extra time with my own biological children ages 10 and 2. I know that their jobs would not work with that schedule, how would you handle that? It will be almost impossible for them to find part time care for an infant for such long times. I love taking off an extended Christmas break and last summer taking off the entire month of June. I know I will absolutely love this baby, but I want to spend that time just being with my own babies.
I would really love to hear some of your thoughts, opionions and some experience in the matter before having an official discussion with them.
CityGarden 11:36 PM 09-14-2017
Congratulations on the new little bundle!!!
One of my goals is to be in a financial position to be retired or working only part-time from home in a non-childcare related field so I can help with my grandchildren free of charge. Building a career and raising a family is extremely expensive so many people have to choose and most of my peers have delayed having children due to it. I would not want to care for my grandchildren full time but help by caring for them part-time either 3 days a week or 1/2 days..... I do realize this is not a goal for many and that your situation is different but felt it might be nice to hear another view.
In your shoes with what you have shared I would have an honest conversation with them sharing:
"The last few years I have started caring for teacher's children and have made that the direction to continue in. The schedule works perfectly that I can have extra time with my.... children ages 10 and 2 who need me as well. I know that their jobs would not work with that schedule, how would you handle that? It will be almost impossible for them to find part time care for an infant for such long times. I love taking off an extended Christmas break and last summer taking off the entire month of June. I know I will absolutely love this baby, but I want to spend that time just being with my own babies."
Telling them your work hours and giving them the permission to go with another provider gives them an "out" if they can't make it work. They could hire an afterschool nanny if needed or your schedule could give them the chance to find something better for their work schedules without feeling pressure to make it work in your program. Also tell them you need to charge them due to your expenses but you also want to help them and charge what you feel comfortable with. Blame it on licensing and get all the paperwork signed - it is better to have it than not have it. Some items like medical consent you will want regardless.
One of my goals is to be in a financial position to be retired or working only part-time from home in a non-childcare related field so I can help with my grandchildren free of charge. Building a career and raising a family is extremely expensive so many people have to choose and most of my peers have delayed having children due to it. I would not want to care for my grandchildren full time but help by caring for them part-time either 3 days a week or 1/2 days..... I do realize this is not a goal for many and that your situation is different but felt it might be nice to hear another view.
In your shoes with what you have shared I would have an honest conversation with them sharing:
"The last few years I have started caring for teacher's children and have made that the direction to continue in. The schedule works perfectly that I can have extra time with my.... children ages 10 and 2 who need me as well. I know that their jobs would not work with that schedule, how would you handle that? It will be almost impossible for them to find part time care for an infant for such long times. I love taking off an extended Christmas break and last summer taking off the entire month of June. I know I will absolutely love this baby, but I want to spend that time just being with my own babies."
Telling them your work hours and giving them the permission to go with another provider gives them an "out" if they can't make it work. They could hire an afterschool nanny if needed or your schedule could give them the chance to find something better for their work schedules without feeling pressure to make it work in your program. Also tell them you need to charge them due to your expenses but you also want to help them and charge what you feel comfortable with. Blame it on licensing and get all the paperwork signed - it is better to have it than not have it. Some items like medical consent you will want regardless.
KiwiKids 05:13 AM 09-15-2017
Congratulations!!!
Treat it as business first. I would keep your time off with vacations the same because you WILL miss that time if you give it up. I have my nieces in care and take them 3 days a week and work longer hours those days. It still has a family feel when the other daycare kids are gone, so the extra time in the afternoon doesn't feel like much. I do take school breaks and have three day weekends during the summer. My brother finds alternative care for his kids or takes vacation leave at the same time.
As far as what to charge, my nieces count so I do charge normal rates for them. You should make sure every expense you have is covered and then go from there. I used to do family discounts but it never was fully appreciated and always came back to bite me in the butt somehow.
Yes, you are grandma, but this is also your business and so rules and contracts all need to be respected. I would handle their enrollment like you would anyone else.
Treat it as business first. I would keep your time off with vacations the same because you WILL miss that time if you give it up. I have my nieces in care and take them 3 days a week and work longer hours those days. It still has a family feel when the other daycare kids are gone, so the extra time in the afternoon doesn't feel like much. I do take school breaks and have three day weekends during the summer. My brother finds alternative care for his kids or takes vacation leave at the same time.
As far as what to charge, my nieces count so I do charge normal rates for them. You should make sure every expense you have is covered and then go from there. I used to do family discounts but it never was fully appreciated and always came back to bite me in the butt somehow.
Yes, you are grandma, but this is also your business and so rules and contracts all need to be respected. I would handle their enrollment like you would anyone else.
MyAngels 08:11 AM 09-15-2017
Congratulations on becoming a grandma 
I'm sure I'll be the odd woman out with advice, but I care for my granddaughter for free, with no contract, nor any expectations that my son and daughter-in-law follow the rules of daycare. I never wanted my kids or granddaughter to feel like I'm their daycare provider, only their mom and grandma. I found that, since my kids grew up with daycare in our home, they were pretty respectful anyway. Plus, I didn't want to feel any resentment towards them if they didn't follow the rules.
However, my own children are all grown up now, so I don't have young kids at home like you do. My ideas may have been different if that were the case.
I'm sure I'll be the odd woman out with advice, but I care for my granddaughter for free, with no contract, nor any expectations that my son and daughter-in-law follow the rules of daycare. I never wanted my kids or granddaughter to feel like I'm their daycare provider, only their mom and grandma. I found that, since my kids grew up with daycare in our home, they were pretty respectful anyway. Plus, I didn't want to feel any resentment towards them if they didn't follow the rules.
However, my own children are all grown up now, so I don't have young kids at home like you do. My ideas may have been different if that were the case.
Blackcat31 08:29 AM 09-15-2017
Originally Posted by MyAngels:
Congratulations on becoming a grandma
I'm sure I'll be the odd woman out with advice, but I care for my granddaughter for free, with no contract, nor any expectations that my son and daughter-in-law follow the rules of daycare. I never wanted my kids or granddaughter to feel like I'm their daycare provider, only their mom and grandma. I found that, since my kids grew up with daycare in our home, they were pretty respectful anyway. Plus, I didn't want to feel any resentment towards them if they didn't follow the rules.
However, my own children are all grown up now, so I don't have young kids at home like you do. My ideas may have been different if that were the case.
I agree with this. ^^Congratulations on becoming a grandma
I'm sure I'll be the odd woman out with advice, but I care for my granddaughter for free, with no contract, nor any expectations that my son and daughter-in-law follow the rules of daycare. I never wanted my kids or granddaughter to feel like I'm their daycare provider, only their mom and grandma. I found that, since my kids grew up with daycare in our home, they were pretty respectful anyway. Plus, I didn't want to feel any resentment towards them if they didn't follow the rules.
However, my own children are all grown up now, so I don't have young kids at home like you do. My ideas may have been different if that were the case.
My children are both grown and gone from home so I don't know how I'd feel if they were still young but I do know that when the time comes IF I have the opportunity (both my kids live in a different city than I do) I would probably care for my grandkids for free.
The only downside here in my state is they still count in my ratios and I must treat them as a daycare child during daycare hours but I know as a grandmother I would want to help my kids....for the same reasons many providers choose this profession when their kids are young (to be there for them) as that concept also applies when they are older with their own young.
Blackcat31 08:30 AM 09-15-2017
Congratulations on the soon to be grandchild!! 
daycarediva 09:19 AM 09-15-2017
Originally Posted by MyAngels:
Congratulations on becoming a grandma
I'm sure I'll be the odd woman out with advice, but I care for my granddaughter for free, with no contract, nor any expectations that my son and daughter-in-law follow the rules of daycare. I never wanted my kids or granddaughter to feel like I'm their daycare provider, only their mom and grandma. I found that, since my kids grew up with daycare in our home, they were pretty respectful anyway. Plus, I didn't want to feel any resentment towards them if they didn't follow the rules.
However, my own children are all grown up now, so I don't have young kids at home like you do. My ideas may have been different if that were the case.
CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!! Congratulations on becoming a grandma
I'm sure I'll be the odd woman out with advice, but I care for my granddaughter for free, with no contract, nor any expectations that my son and daughter-in-law follow the rules of daycare. I never wanted my kids or granddaughter to feel like I'm their daycare provider, only their mom and grandma. I found that, since my kids grew up with daycare in our home, they were pretty respectful anyway. Plus, I didn't want to feel any resentment towards them if they didn't follow the rules.
However, my own children are all grown up now, so I don't have young kids at home like you do. My ideas may have been different if that were the case.
I thought my son being a 10 year old uncle was funny! Your child and grandchild will grow up more like cousins. I agree with BC- dd and I are expanding the dc because we looked for infant care and OMG yuck! Baby will count in our ratios full time, despite only attending part time/a few hours here and there at most for a while, so I will make less going group than I would if I could fill the space. DD will be paid well and have a good start. That's what counts to me.
We DID have a sit down about rules and expectations though. If her fiance is off, baby is not attending daycare. She is with Dad. Will have to have the same forms, up to date physical/immunizations, and later- the same behavioral expectations and rules as the other kids in care.
HappyEverAfter 03:36 PM 09-15-2017
I watch my 6 yr old nephew anytime school is closed (spring break, teacher work days, etc.) and when his little brother is born next month, I'll watch the baby full time. I did give my brother and his wife a copy of my handbook and I am having them do all the paperwork on the baby just like anyone else. I am charging the normal rate for the baby but waiving the deposit. I do not charge at all for the 6 year old. My normal hours apply but depending on the situation (on occasion) I would keep the kids outside of my normal hours and wouldn't charge for that.
Jujube835 08:16 PM 09-16-2017
I will one day watch my grandchildren for free. My own mom watched my son when I was a young single mother and it was one of the best gifts she gave to me and my baby.
But whether or not you choose to charge, you should take your scheduled time off. Even if you didn't have young children of your own, you still deserve to live your life. Give your step son and DIL as much as you are able and let them worry about the rest
Congrats on your sweet new grandbaby!
But whether or not you choose to charge, you should take your scheduled time off. Even if you didn't have young children of your own, you still deserve to live your life. Give your step son and DIL as much as you are able and let them worry about the rest
Congrats on your sweet new grandbaby!
Jupadia 07:04 AM 09-18-2017
I hope if I have a daycare still to be able to afford not to charge for my grandkids. But if I need the money I hope my kids will understand if I do have to charge them. Currently my kids are stil in my care (age 1 and 4) so that will be a time away.
I know my aunt in law has been doing care for years and may give a break in fees for family bit won't do it free.
I know my aunt in law has been doing care for years and may give a break in fees for family bit won't do it free.
Lil_Diddle 07:31 PM 09-21-2017
Thank you all for your input, I have decided that I will charge them but at a greatly discounted rate compared to my other children in care. I've taken into account the extra hours I would like to have my assistant and that difference is what I will charge. It comes up to $80 a week so for a newborn/infant that seems very reasonable. Also, being a parent to young children and having the teacher schedule is something very important to me. I will just have to let them know up front that they will need back up childcare on those days. And I will do what I can to help them find a good back up. There is no way I can turn down this baby. That is the reason I got into in home childcare is to be with my own children, I know I will give this baby more love than it can get at another daycare. I know my SS and DIL can rest easy knowing that the baby is in good hands.
rosieteddy 07:49 PM 09-21-2017
Icared for both my grandsons.They did count in my numbers.I did not charge tuition.I had a special bond with them that I wouldn't have had.They are 13 and 15 and we are still close.They did share vacations and holidays here.I had only grown children so I was able to take them away with us.They still share 2 weeks in the summer with us.I met a provider who charged half her normal fee to care for her grandchildren over the years.She was a widow and could not afford free .She did save half of that fee and when they aged out she put the money in a college account for each child.I had wished that was something I had done ...Congratulations it is fun to be a grandparent.