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catinthebox 05:41 PM 10-30-2016
I been having a torn acl/mcl for almost a year and now I am currently working the surgery date out with my doctor. Most likely it would between the Dec 15-28 since i am out of school by Dec 14. I was wondering if i should changed my surgery date if my boss asks me to? As of right now we short on people, so the workplace environment is kinda of more chaotic and stressful than before.


I know its like a month and a few weeks right from now but i should be getting the notices from my Doc in the next few days. Some background about my boss, from what i seen during the year and few months and from my coworkers as well . She doesn't really like it when you asked to go to your doctors appointment or if you missed work for reasons like school etc ...

I had asked her a few times and she has always told me that we are short on people, and if i decided to miss that day then it would be fine, but it would mess up the order/scheduled while putting pressure on the other staff to cover for me. The few times she had told me this i actually did changed my doctors appointment that sometimes would take three to a month to get a another appointment and i kinda regret because the operation could been alot sooner.

I understand that she is running a business and needs every staff she has, but i really need this surgery asap because i need the extra weeks to rest before i go back to school. I will be out for a few days and will be on crunches for at least a month. I really want to get this surgery done but at the same time i kinda feel sad about the whole situation. My boss is the type of the person that would try to make you fee guilty. I have seen this many times, such as when one of my coworkers was leaving and during her last two weeks. My boss would tell her things that "ooo shes leaving us, and the kids. I wonder how the kids feel about it, i am pretty sure they forget about her..." Things like that and she has even tried it on me by saying that " i no longer care from the kids just because i was leaving early to go to my friends graduation party. The funny thing was that we even had less kids and she said the whole that in front of the coworkers and myself. I was pretty lucky i asked my other boss.

Basically the few times that i had asked and gotten the requests was from my old boss who till this day is probably the best boss i ever had! She is understandable and reasonable. She was like a mentor to me and alot of my staff. The whole place when she was there was amazing, we actually felt appreciated and stress around the site was like 90 percent decreased because we didn't have a certain person yelling at us for small mistakes and somebody who actually treated us like family and not just a person who just work for you.

Whats your guys input on this?
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MyAngels 06:08 PM 10-30-2016
Get the surgery on the schedule that's best for you.

Good luck with the surgery, hope it goes well.
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LysesKids 06:58 PM 10-30-2016
Originally Posted by catinthebox:
I been having a torn acl/mcl for almost a year and now I am currently working the surgery date out with my doctor. Most likely it would between the Dec 15-28 since i am out of school by Dec 14. I was wondering if i should changed my surgery date if my boss asks me to? As of right now we short on people, so the workplace environment is kinda of more chaotic and stressful than before.


I know its like a month and a few weeks right from now but i should be getting the notices from my Doc in the next few days. Some background about my boss, from what i seen during the year and few months and from my coworkers as well . She doesn't really like it when you asked to go to your doctors appointment or if you missed work for reasons like school etc ...

I had asked her a few times and she has always told me that we are short on people, and if i decided to miss that day then it would be fine, but it would mess up the order/scheduled while putting pressure on the other staff to cover for me. The few times she had told me this i actually did changed my doctors appointment that sometimes would take three to a month to get a another appointment and i kinda regret because the operation could been alot sooner.

I understand that she is running a business and needs every staff she has, but i really need this surgery asap because i need the extra weeks to rest before i go back to school. I will be out for a few days and will be on crunches for at least a month. I really want to get this surgery done but at the same time i kinda feel sad about the whole situation. My boss is the type of the person that would try to make you fee guilty. I have seen this many times, such as when one of my coworkers was leaving and during her last two weeks. My boss would tell her things that "ooo shes leaving us, and the kids. I wonder how the kids feel about it, i am pretty sure they forget about her..." Things like that and she has even tried it on me by saying that " i no longer care from the kids just because i was leaving early to go to my friends graduation party. The funny thing was that we even had less kids and she said the whole that in front of the coworkers and myself. I was pretty lucky i asked my other boss.

Basically the few times that i had asked and gotten the requests was from my old boss who till this day is probably the best boss i ever had! She is understandable and reasonable. She was like a mentor to me and alot of my staff. The whole place when she was there was amazing, we actually felt appreciated and stress around the site was like 90 percent decreased because we didn't have a certain person yelling at us for small mistakes and somebody who actually treated us like family and not just a person who just work for you.

Whats your guys input on this?
I agree, I would do the surgery when it's best for me... IT'S your health on the line, not your bosses; postponing it makes your life worse, not better - You also aren't responsible for covering your bosses ass when staff is short...

Me, I would have done it from the first appointment time set because my health & life trump any job. Unless she is paying for extra recovery time, or future issues down the line due to postponing your medical needs? Yeah - you do what you need to NOW, not when it's convenient for the boss
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LadyMacbeth 07:05 PM 10-30-2016
You are not responsible for the way a director handles sick leave. You are allotted a certain number of sick days and vacation days and you will use them as needed. I had a director like this who would try to guilt trip people for asking time off that it got to the point where my coworkers would simply call in sick the morning of.

That, paired with the fact that she was miserably failing in other areas as well, led to the school board eventually letting her go. I see your boss heading down the same path, though I don't know the politics of the school where you work. It could very much be that your boss is the owner, in which case you will also have to decide if you can continue working for someone that runs their school in this manner. A few red flags I've noticed from your post:

1) You feel that you can't ask for days off, even if its weeks in advance because your boss makes you feel awful about it

2)Your boss is always short people. Why? Is the school understaffed? or Is she such a bad manager that she can't get her employees to show up? This usually happens because there is low morale amongst employees.

3)She makes snide comments about you or your co workers in front of your peers and uses the children to try to guilt trip you.

4) She is not a leader. She is more of a tyrant. If she truly knew how to lead, she wouldn't chastise you over every little thing and instead would guide you to make positive changes and perfect your craft.

All I can say is good luck to you and do what feels right. In our case, the school board took waaaay too long to act and the damage has been done. The school is having a very difficult time bouncing back, but fortunately I am no longer in the picture. I hope your school has a more positive ending.
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racemom 07:51 PM 10-30-2016
I would let her know asap that you will be gone during that time frame. That gives her plenty of time to figure her staff situation out to cover your shifts. If she says things to you or about you just say I have put this surgery off as long as I was able to and now it is not up for discussion and must be done on this date. Sometimes we need to stand up for ourselves or directors take advantage. Also, Good luck on your surgery!
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DaveA 04:00 AM 10-31-2016
Good luck on the surgery. Get it done on the timeframe that works for you and since you are giving your boss ample time to figure out scheduling, don't worry about her problems dealing with it.
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Mike 05:13 PM 10-31-2016
You deal with you. Your boss deals with her business.
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catinthebox 01:57 PM 11-01-2016
Thank you guys for your support! from what one of the senior coworkers that has been here for 20 years told me that the boss won't allow me to work here while i am still using the crutches. . I am kinda excited that I might be getting a month long break and A much needed on since I am burnt out.
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catinthebox 07:59 PM 11-01-2016
Originally Posted by LadyMacbeth:

2)Your boss is always short people. Why? Is the school understaffed? or Is she such a bad manager that she can't get her employees to show up? This usually happens because there is low morale amongst employees.
ending.
To bad honest, the daycare that i work for and the other place that is our main site where we had childcare/gym/bball courts/dance studios... all have bad managers... I know good amount of the other workers from the main site and we agreed that the managers are really bad.

Reason number for why we are always short is because the work place environment is horrible! We, as in my coworkers that had quit all discussion how bad this place. We felt that we were just treated as meat and nothing else. You never know which boss you were gonna get. If my boss is stress out because of work then the smallest things can result in her yelling at you or one of the kids. I don't like the fact that she yells at them because of something small... Neither do i like when she yell at us.. Me and some of my coworkers all feel nerve and uncomfortable her when she is around. I get afraid when she is around and feel like i have to do something even if the kids are just there reading silently.

Second reason is that the work hours is not long enough. The work place only needs teachers and aid in the noon from 2-5. A good amount of us can't we really survive with that schedule.

Third reasoning is the fact that you can't get days off or come in late because of appointments or other important issues such as doctors visits... Don't like the fact how we have to struggle and fight for something going your doctors visit without somebody using the guilt card on you...

Lastly, the whole place is poop. I love the kids and working with them but everything else is trash. They deny you the 30 minute break that the law promises you should have. There 30 minutes according to them is you eating with the kids, serious i spent most of my time trying to get kids to eat their food than me eating my food. Don't forget that they make you work off the clock. I been closing for around 7 months now and too many times where we been working g off the clock. Also don't forget the fact that they will round your time up or down. Which i feel is cheating us of our hours! We work really hard and just to know that the excess that is giving is because " it is too difficult to add up". I need every dollar and penny because i don't make much money due to the work schedule.

Because of some of these reason and more, people are coming and going. Like how my coworker that recently left told me" this place sucks your soul up". I used to love this place, but not anymore since my old boss left.
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LysesKids 06:17 PM 11-02-2016
Originally Posted by catinthebox:
To bad honest, the daycare that i work for and the other place that is our main site where we had childcare/gym/bball courts/dance studios... all have bad managers... I know good amount of the other workers from the main site and we agreed that the managers are really bad.

Reason number for why we are always short is because the work place environment is horrible! We, as in my coworkers that had quit all discussion how bad this place. We felt that we were just treated as meat and nothing else. You never know which boss you were gonna get. If my boss is stress out because of work then the smallest things can result in her yelling at you or one of the kids. I don't like the fact that she yells at them because of something small... Neither do i like when she yell at us.. Me and some of my coworkers all feel nerve and uncomfortable her when she is around. I get afraid when she is around and feel like i have to do something even if the kids are just there reading silently.

Second reason is that the work hours is not long enough. The work place only needs teachers and aid in the noon from 2-5. A good amount of us can't we really survive with that schedule.

Third reasoning is the fact that you can't get days off or come in late because of appointments or other important issues such as doctors visits... Don't like the fact how we have to struggle and fight for something going your doctors visit without somebody using the guilt card on you...

Lastly, the whole place is poop. I love the kids and working with them but everything else is trash. They deny you the 30 minute break that the law promises you should have. There 30 minutes according to them is you eating with the kids, serious i spent most of my time trying to get kids to eat their food than me eating my food. Don't forget that they make you work off the clock. I been closing for around 7 months now and too many times where we been working g off the clock. Also don't forget the fact that they will round your time up or down. Which i feel is cheating us of our hours! We work really hard and just to know that the excess that is giving is because " it is too difficult to add up". I need every dollar and penny because i don't make much money due to the work schedule.

Because of some of these reason and more, people are coming and going. Like how my coworker that recently left told me" this place sucks your soul up". I used to love this place, but not anymore since my old boss left.
Hell, I would be contacting the labor board if I didn't get my mandated breaks... I supposedly got fired because I told a family how their child actually got hurt at a church daycare one day back in 2001 (the center never wrote it up, but I witnessed it)... yeah, the state shut them down after they supposedly fired me (I quit).. turns out they had numerous complaints the 4 years prior but nobody would stand up for what was right except me
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