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Old 02-04-2011, 08:00 AM
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Sunny Day Sunny Day is offline
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Default Stress At Home Affecting Daycare Behavior

My dcb who has been having the massive fits (http://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=26163) has done a bit better this week. He had 2 days where he didn't have a fit at all! I know there is stress in his home and know that last night his mom was mad at his dad. Today he is acting exactly the same way again. I am pretty much positive this behaviour is due to him seeing fighting, stress, etc. at home. I don't know what to say to mom, but I am frustrated being the one that gets to listen to him scream all day. Should I tell mom that I think they need to cool it in front on him (I would do it much more subtly than that)? Although the mother tells me everything that is going on (not professional of me, I know), I don't really feel like it is my place to say something about that, but I'm dealing with the brunt of his TERRIBLE behaviour. I know I've asked a bunch of questions about this situation, but I really really really don't want to term--I love this little guy and feel so awful for him! I feel like making him leave daycare, the one stable, constant in his life would put him over the edge. It is just frustrating because I feel like it was getting better this week!
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Old 02-04-2011, 08:09 AM
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Some people may be bolder than I but I would not say anything unless I feel the child is being abused or neglected. I just wouldnt feel that it was my place. Not sure how old he is but I would encourage the child to talk about how he is feeling though. Also, I havent read your other post about the dcb and perhaps you already have done so, but at least mention the outburts to the parents without your opinions. People can easily get offended when you mention anything about thier home life or parenting. JMO
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Old 02-04-2011, 12:08 PM
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Can you apologize to him for hurtful things he's hearing. Let him know he is safe at your home, and always welcome there. Let him know that his mom and dad love him, and so do you. Ask him if there's anything he wants to talk about. Ask about his night, not: did your parents fight again?

Tough one. Yes their behavior effects him. He may very well be reinacting the stress to see if you love him unconditionally.
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Old 02-04-2011, 12:24 PM
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AmandasFCC AmandasFCC is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sunny Day View Post
My dcb who has been having the massive fits (http://www.daycare.com/forum/showthread.php?t=26163) has done a bit better this week. He had 2 days where he didn't have a fit at all! I know there is stress in his home and know that last night his mom was mad at his dad. Today he is acting exactly the same way again. I am pretty much positive this behaviour is due to him seeing fighting, stress, etc. at home. I don't know what to say to mom, but I am frustrated being the one that gets to listen to him scream all day. Should I tell mom that I think they need to cool it in front on him (I would do it much more subtly than that)? Although the mother tells me everything that is going on (not professional of me, I know), I don't really feel like it is my place to say something about that, but I'm dealing with the brunt of his TERRIBLE behaviour. I know I've asked a bunch of questions about this situation, but I really really really don't want to term--I love this little guy and feel so awful for him! I feel like making him leave daycare, the one stable, constant in his life would put him over the edge. It is just frustrating because I feel like it was getting better this week!
I probably would say something along the lines of:

"I've been noticing a lot of regression and difficult behaviour from dcb, and quite often this can be caused by a stressful for confusing situation for them. I've printed off this information from such and such a valuable site, which outlines some of the possible causes of some of his behaviour. Please take the time to look at it and evaluate whether there is something at home that couldb e triggering this reaction in him, and look at fixing it."

Seriously. I've done it before, several times, and it ALWAYS works for me.
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