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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Facebook... Grrrr
DaycareMom 10:27 AM 04-03-2013
I took a picture of all the kids today (including my own 2 children) and sent it to the moms of the kids.

One of the moms texted me and asked if she could put it on Facebook.

I am glad she asked but do not want my kids on facebook. How do I say this in a way without offending her?

Thank you in advance!
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EntropyControlSpecialist 10:31 AM 04-03-2013
Either tell her directly that you don't like photos of your children posted on Facebook or tell her that since she doesn't have the consent of all of the other parents you would appreciate her not doing so.
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momofsix 10:32 AM 04-03-2013
Just tell her that you don't have permission from all the other parents for their child's picture to go up on her page.
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DaycareMom 10:35 AM 04-03-2013
Problem with that is she is friends with the other moms and they all post photos of their kids all the time so I am sure she could get their permission.

I feel like saying "I do not want my children on Facebook" makes it sound like I am being judgey of her choice to do so... you know what I mean?
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EntropyControlSpecialist 10:42 AM 04-03-2013
Just say you're uncomfortable with your children's photo being placed on Facebook. That's not judgey at all.
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daycarediva 10:43 AM 04-03-2013
I don't think it sounds judgy. It's the SOLE reason I don't have a personal facebook page and we TELL our family (dh has a page that has NO personal photos on) to remove their pictures.

His MORONIC sister took a picture of DS getting off the bus (with bus number) for kindergarten in front of his school (with the school name) AND then replied to someone and told him who his teacher was, it was bad enough his name tag was visible!The icing on the cake....her facebook is PUBLIC. Maybe nothing would come of it, but HOLY CRAP!
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EchoMom 10:54 AM 04-03-2013
This is why I only send parents pictures of their child. I had a mom that I knew put every photo I sent on FB and so I was always really careful to make sure everything looked good in the background too before I sent it.
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Starburst 11:02 AM 04-03-2013
Is there anyway she could crop out the picture of your children? are they on the edge of the picture? Could she in anyway sensor your children's faces?

If you are still afraid she may be offended, maybe you can tell her that your kids' dad (or grandmother/grandfather... whatever) doesn't like the idea of someone out of the immediate famliy posting pictures of you kids online? Or depending on the age of the kids you can say that they don't want their picture on facebook.

In the future you might want to put in your contract that daycare parents are not allowed to post pictures of or information about you or your family (or children/families in your daycare) without permission - part of a confidentiality agreement failure to follow could be grounds for termination. Just something like "_______ daycare respects the privacy of the children enrolled, as well as the families of children in ______ daycare. I would greatly appriciate it if my daycare families respect the privacy of my family, my employees, other families enrolled, and myself by not posting any personal information or pictures of any of the mentioned parties on public websites such as facebook- unless given both verbal and written permision in advanced. Failure to do so may result in termination"
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DaycareMom 11:04 AM 04-03-2013
I replied "I do not want pictures of my children on Facebook. Thank you for asking!" She replied "OK".

Lesson learned ... only sending pics of their own kids from now on.

Thanks everyone!
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TheGoodLife 11:16 AM 04-03-2013
Originally Posted by DaycareMom:
I replied "I do not want pictures of my children on Facebook. Thank you for asking!" She replied "OK".

Lesson learned ... only sending pics of their own kids from now on.

Thanks everyone!
If she asked ahead of time. that is very considerate and it is not rude to politely say no. Glad you did!
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jokalima 11:37 AM 04-03-2013
I think she would not get offended if you say what you just said here. You don't want your kids on fbk and there is nothing wrong with that, I think she would perfectly understand.
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NeedaVaca 11:41 AM 04-03-2013
I feel that Facebook is getting pretty scary...way too much information out there, most people don't have a clue about all the many things you have to do to be private and even with all precautions you are not really private. Facial Recognition?? NO! It is also now commonplace for jobs/businesses/banks you name it, to check your profile before hiring/giving loans etc...Scary!
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jokalima 11:58 AM 04-03-2013
Originally Posted by NeedaVaca:
I feel that Facebook is getting pretty scary...way too much information out there, most people don't have a clue about all the many things you have to do to be private and even with all precautions you are not really private. Facial Recognition?? NO! It is also now commonplace for jobs/businesses/banks you name it, to check your profile before hiring/giving loans etc...Scary!
Have you seen the video about the "psychic" social experiment? Where he tells people many things from their lives and he gets the info. from social websites That is very scary.
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Kaddidle Care 12:15 PM 04-03-2013
Originally Posted by EchoMom:
This is why I only send parents pictures of their child. I had a mom that I knew put every photo I sent on FB and so I was always really careful to make sure everything looked good in the background too before I sent it.
Yep, yep - use the crop and only send the parents photos of their own child.
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NeedaVaca 12:28 PM 04-03-2013
Originally Posted by jokalima:
Have you seen the video about the "psychic" social experiment? Where he tells people many things from their lives and he gets the info. from social websites That is very scary.
No, I haven't seen that but will check it out I do have a facebook page...I use it very very little and find it to be a nice way to stay in touch with people BUT I am very close to removing it...It is just scary that they have so much info on millions of people. A good friend of mine took his off and he's in the IT field. There are so many steps to removing yourself & even then they still have your data. He then asked for a hard disc with his data from Facebook, I don't know if he ever got that.
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DaycareMom 01:28 PM 04-03-2013
Originally Posted by daycarediva:
I don't think it sounds judgy. It's the SOLE reason I don't have a personal facebook page and we TELL our family (dh has a page that has NO personal photos on) to remove their pictures.

His MORONIC sister took a picture of DS getting off the bus (with bus number) for kindergarten in front of his school (with the school name) AND then replied to someone and told him who his teacher was, it was bad enough his name tag was visible!The icing on the cake....her facebook is PUBLIC. Maybe nothing would come of it, but HOLY CRAP!
Does any of your family get offended or give you a hard time? We are having an issue with one of DH's family members posting photos of our kids. I just found one of them only posting on Instagram since we don't have that. Not sure how to approach this person. Still feeling very betrayed since he knows our feelings and is being shady about it. His Instagram is public too ...
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daycarediva 01:33 PM 04-03-2013
Originally Posted by DaycareMom:
Does any of your family get offended or give you a hard time? We are having an issue with one of DH's family members posting photos of our kids. I just found one of them only posting on Instagram since we don't have that. Not sure how to approach this person. Still feeling very betrayed since he knows our feelings and is being shady about it. His Instagram is public too ...
Yes, but I pick my battles and the safety of my children is always one I am willing to fight for. My MIL/FIL and SIL all had issue with this. NO, I don't want you to show your boss that DS knows all the NFL players, positions and logos because he is a big gambler and thinks ds is some kind of autistic football savant.
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Country Kids 01:34 PM 04-03-2013
Rereading your op, did she maybe think it was ok also, since you had facebooked it to her and your kids were already in the picture. That seems to me like you would be saying it ok for my kids to be on facebook.

I don't do facebook so not really sure of all the in/outs of what right/not right on it.
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DaycareMom 01:36 PM 04-03-2013
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
Rereading your op, did she maybe think it was ok also, since you had facebooked it to her and your kids were already in the picture. That seems to me like you would be saying it ok for my kids to be on facebook.

I don't do facebook so not really sure of all the in/outs of what right/not right on it.
I texted her the photo. I did not send it thru Facebook.
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Country Kids 01:38 PM 04-03-2013
Originally Posted by DaycareMom:
I texted her the photo. I did not send it thru Facebook.

Sorry I thought you had facebooked them to her-
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DaycareMom 01:40 PM 04-03-2013
Originally Posted by Country Kids:
Sorry I thought you had facebooked them to her-
No worries
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clep 03:10 PM 04-03-2013
My day home parents have to sign an acknowledgement in the parent handbook that no pictures of the day home children will be put on their facebook page and it is grounds for immediate termination as it goes against FOIP in my area.
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AmyKidsCo 03:24 PM 04-03-2013
Originally Posted by Starburst:
In the future you might want to put in your contract that daycare parents are not allowed to post pictures of or information about you or your family (or children/families in your daycare) without permission - part of a confidentiality agreement failure to follow could be grounds for termination. Just something like "_______ daycare respects the privacy of the children enrolled, as well as the families of children in ______ daycare. I would greatly appriciate it if my daycare families respect the privacy of my family, my employees, other families enrolled, and myself by not posting any personal information or pictures of any of the mentioned parties on public websites such as facebook- unless given both verbal and written permision in advanced. Failure to do so may result in termination"
That's a really good idea. I have a confidentiality policy outlining how I keep families' confidentiality and a detailed Media Permission form, but I never considered my own family's confidentiality.
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