I just started watching a sweet little 10 month old boy last week full time. He has an older sister that is 4 years old that goes to a local preschool. Every day since he started coming here, the mom comes to pick up the baby and brings the 4 year old to my door with her.

I wouldn't mind this... BUT... the little girl runs in my house and is just insanely hyper! She runs around grabbing things and banging anything together that she can. It's almost like she's TRYING to break things. Meanwhile the mom is talking nonstop about the baby and not correcting her daughter's craziness at all. I usually only have 1 or 2 other daycare kids here when this has happened. But its still SO annoying and makes them act crazy too!

I was trying to figure out a way to hint to her that this was bugging me...without having to say something directly.

First I tried putting a sticky note on my door saying "Baby is sleeping... Shhhh"... and there really was one sleeping --- well that didn't work. Even after I asked her to try to be quiet when I opened the door because I had a baby sleeping, she still let her daughter run in like a sugar high crazy child running circles around my furniture and pulling toys out. And the mom's voice went from a whisper to louder and louder... UGH.

The next day I gave everyone my monthly newsletter & I added a section reminding and asking for pick up and drop offs to be short & sweet and also to keep them calm & quiet due to children possibly napping... I was sure this would do the trick. Well.. the mom comes to pick up that afternoon and AGAIN she allows the daughter to run amuck. Grrrrr!

The next day I put the baby's car seat right by the entry of the door along with all of her things ready to go... and tried to somehow block the entry (our entry is really wide and open) - but this didn't work either. The 4 yr old leaped over the carseat and just giggled herself all around my home again. Wahhhhh!

I guess I'm just going to have to say something directly to her. I just dont know how the heck to say it? She's SOOOO nice and really new, so I dont want to scare her away. I just dont want her daughter tearing up my house every day

UGH... have any of you dealt with this and how do you fix it?

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Personally I would probably say something directly to the preschooler. "Hey DCG, we don't run in this house. Please use your walking feet and your inside voice." "DCG, the baby is sleeping, use a quiet quiet voice please." "DCG, Don't jump over the carrier, you could slip and hurt her brother." Then a BIG smile and go back to talking with mom. If she starts again, say it again with a nice, but firm tone.

I just treat other kids like I treat the daycare kids. When we go on field trips and kids act out and it is affecting me or my charges and parents aren't doing anything I step in and say what I would to one of my charges. "Oops! Be careful, you almost stepped on Johnny!" "Uh oh! Running inside is dangerous, better walk so you don't get hurt." If I get strange looks I just shrug my shoulders and smile

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I have also corrected siblings as well. Including picking them up to bring them back over.

Also, can you put an interesting toy by the front door? When girl jumps over, bring her back and say whatever then redirect her to the toy.

Finally, do you have a cell phone and a landline? Make it so when mom starts to talk, you can act like your hands are just in your pocket, press send, your phone rings. "woops, I need to get that. so and so's needed to ask a question, or I planned a phone conference" or if you don't like to lie "Im sorry kids are sleeping and I need to stop the phone from ringing." Then don't come back to the door.

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"Dcm, I know she's really excited to pick up her sister but I need you to keep your older daughter with you at the door for pickup. Unfortunately, for insurance liability reasons, I cant have children who are not enrolled in my daycare in the daycare area during business hours.Thanks so much for understanding."

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I would go get the girl by the hand walk her back to her mother and tell her mom that she can't do this. Or I would hold the girls hand and not let it go.

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I would text her, asking her to call you on her lunch hour (no big deal...just need to chat quick). Then, tell her the above over the phone. I would not try to say it in front of the little girl. Something like "hey, this is a little awkward, but I need your help. I know big sister is really excited... (as above). I didn't want to say anything, because I don't want to upset you, but I really need your help on this one".

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Siblings not enrroled are not allowed in daycare play area here or lin the restroom etc

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I dont let siblings come in the front door. Parents pick up little one at the door and if they need to chat, everyone stays on the porch. I have one family in particular that the older siblings wanted to come in every time and while they are nice kids, I certainly didnt want pickup to drag into a 20 minute play date with kids that I dont get paid to watch. I just stand in the doorway and dont let them in. If they try, I would just say "oh sorry Aiden, its time to go home. Can you carry baby sister's diaper bag to the car and help Daddy?" A week of redirecting the two big sibs from the door and Dad started picking up baby first, big sibs second. They were not coming in and tearing through the house and I certainly would not let a child push past me.

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I've had this issue before too, especially with kids who used to come to me. I try not to be confrontational but I did start doing a lot of the above mentioned things in talking directly to the child. But first, before they get to the door I'd take baby out of the playroom and close the gate behind me (this was also because all my other kids thought it was fine to roam the foyer while someone is picking up) and then I even placed a gate in the hall to avoid them coming into my kitchen/family room (which are not dc areas) but that gate isn't bolted so sometimes the kids would go around it and I'd just say "sorry Susie, if you go thru there all the other kids will want to, please stay over here".

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This is perfect. Thank you everyone for all your input. I'm going to see how today goes and if its still bad then I'll definitely have to just say this directly.

This morning at drop off she actually brought up my newsletter & something unrelated. I took that as my opportunity to mention what I said on there. I just said "yeah I put that section on there about quick & quiet pick ups because it gets really disruptive in the afternoons when theres a child napping and lots of noise is happening... I'll have all of the baby's things ready near the door so its easier for you"... she said "oh yeah... I feel so bad when my daughter runs in here and acts so crazy. She just loves it here and wants to play"... I said "yeah I understand... but its just hard when babies are sleeping and all that". She said she'd try to get her not to do that anymore. I dont understand the "try"... just do it! lol

So we'll see how today goes at pick up... if still bad then I'll have to say it more directly like AnneCordelia said it.. perfectly. Thanks guys!

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I used to be shy about this stuff, too. I no longer am.

Just direct your words right at the child (since Mom isn't interested in taking charge) and tell her as soon as she starts (that very second) to stop: "Emily, stop right there. The baby is sleeping and you are not allowed to come in and run around being loud. From now on, you will stay by your mom and be quiet and calm because I do not allow kids to run around my house disturbing others".

Repeat as often as necessary. If she runs past you, go pick her up and deposit her right at the front door. If that doesn't work, deposit her OUTSIDE the front door and tell mom to e-mail you if she wants to discuss the little ones day. If the behavior STILL continues, simply tell Mom that you will meet her at the door in the future and communicate by e-mail because the daughter is too much of a disturbance to the other kids.

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I would use the "try" as an ok for you to step in and redirect the child back to mom every time until the child gets it. Masking tape line is a good way to make a border so the child knows that she can't go past the line.

I struggle with this from time to time. I have one child I take care of once in a while and the brother full time. He comes to pick up brother and think he can just walk in. He tried the push past me thing and I told him No. It is disruptive. It gets the other kids going and then it is two kids to get out the door instead of one. I pulled him aside when I had him and told him when he comes to get his brother he has to stay on the mat and wait for him and not come into the daycare, because he is not in daycare for that day. It helped for a little while. Parents often view us as play spaces for all kids too. They don't understand come the end of the day we want to go home too. We don't want another mess to clean up we have done that all day. If it doesn't get better then I would just tell her bluntly your four year old is not enrolled in care and must stay at your side during pick up and drop off and please make these times brief as I am usually very busy at these times even if it looks like I am not. I am busy prepping and cleaning for the done day and the next day. Thank you. If she doesn't get it after that, you might have to hand the child to her at the door- not something I like to do at all. Try to update on how you made out with this issue. Best-

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This exactly. And then stop the girl every single time she tries to run past you.

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Update? How did pick up go?

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Well the pick up was interesting... The mom has to walk into the house because she leaves the baby's carseat here. (Maybe when she stops bringing the carseat someday, she wont feel it necessary to walk in).

Anyway... she had the daughter with her and this time the daughter stood right by her mom... for about 10.2 seconds. Then she started running around. Argh!

The mom is a babbler and just goes on and on about crap I really dont care about... which makes it worse because the daughter is running around while shes babbling. I only had 1 dcg here and she was acting totally insane - screaming and laughing super loud - just completely out of control which shes never like. Then the daughter says "I gotta poop mommy"! Nooooooo So the mom says - go in the bathroom and go. Can you ask me first? Gosh. Oh well.

So that added 5 minutes to DCM standing in my entry time babbling some more. When the daughter washed her hands and came out, I just opened the front door and said "ok - well see you tomorrow" and the mom looked a little confused, but continued to talk nonstop and then left.

She definitely doesnt pick up hints so I am going to have to just be more direct with her and tell her that it just cant happen anymore. I hate being a meanie but its just SO freakin annoying.

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Wow. Next time she runs in, I would just grab her and put her right back where she belongs and tell her no. As far as the pooping? I'm sorry, but my husband is in there getting ready for XXX.

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HAHAHA Leigh... Great idea! I love it

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I have something in my contract about this. It's just casually mentioned that I treat all kids like my own, and if a dck or sibling is up to something, I'm going to deal with it. I can't remember exactly how it's worded, but when we go over the contract, I just explain it in a casual, matter of fact way. No one has ever minded.

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