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Old 02-21-2014, 07:55 AM
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Default Every Little Thing------

I have never had a kid like this before, so hopefully I can get some help.

New kid started 3 months ago. Very sweet little girl, sheltered like no tomorrow, a little on the sensitive side about most things.

Well this kid goes home and gives mom an ear full every single day. STUFF that to me is normal for kids in this age group (she is 3) and I don't feel the need to tell the parents about it.

Monday- Sally told me that someone told her to go away and she fought me not to come to school today. Um ok.....yup it happens

Tuesday- Sally told me that the kids won't play with her and are not sharing the toys, then tell her to go away, and that is being a bully, she fought me again on coming. Um ok, I don't let that happen here.

Wednesday- Sally told me someone took her doll when she went to the bathroom and then refused to return it when she came back.

So you get the picture. I have never had a parent do this before. On Monday I talked into detail with mom hoping that the issue would be over. But every morning the mom comes in with some new complaint about what happened to Sally at school.....................

Yesterday I told DCM well this is all normal part of development for their age group, if i think that there is something wrong that needs your attention I will be sure to let you know. I try to leave here what happens here, again unless it warrants a call home. BUT she still does it.

I want to nip this now, what else can I do or say. I have never had a parent do this and it bugs the life out of me.................
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Old 02-21-2014, 07:58 AM
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It sounds as if mom wants reassurance that her child isn't being bullied, singled out, etc. Can you send mom lots of pictures/video of her child playing with others? Or maybe make sure to talk to mom at pick up about how much fun Susie had playing with Sally and making play doh pies or whatever? Maybe going over the top highlighting the positive for a little bit might help mom feel better about things?
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Old 02-21-2014, 08:13 AM
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I had a child like this once. She was three years old and mom insisted the one year old was bullying her. I wish I had advice for you , I had to term because mom just couldn't get it through her head that the real problem was that the other children wouldn't let her child boss them around and cater to her every request.
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Old 02-21-2014, 08:23 AM
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Maybe before she leaves every day talk to the DCG and ask her about all of her favorite things she did that day? Then those things will be in her mind when she talks to her mom. Although, it's not going to work if mom is specifically asking her about bad things...
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Old 02-21-2014, 08:23 AM
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Originally Posted by Play Care View Post
It sounds as if mom wants reassurance that her child isn't being bullied, singled out, etc. Can you send mom lots of pictures/video of her child playing with others? Or maybe make sure to talk to mom at pick up about how much fun Susie had playing with Sally and making play doh pies or whatever? Maybe going over the top highlighting the positive for a little bit might help mom feel better about things?
I do highlight the kids day. I even have them show DCP what they learned today or a craft we did etc. I always give a report, but If I had to report every little thing, well it just would not happen.
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Old 02-21-2014, 08:37 AM
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I do highlight the kids day. I even have them show DCP what they learned today or a craft we did etc. I always give a report, but If I had to report every little thing, well it just would not happen.
I'm just saying for a week or so, really pile it on. See if that helps. If it does you can scale back. If not, then you have some decisions to make.
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Old 02-21-2014, 08:46 AM
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I had a child like this once too. Practically everyday mom would say, "S tells me everything about her day. She told me that (fill in with some very age-appropriate, common occurrence such as "J wouldn't share with her." or "S said she cried after breakfast." The mom would also question policies/practices in a very passive-aggressive way saying, "S's father wants to know why..." The little girl was verbal but I am positive the nightly "sharing about the day" session was totally prompted by mom. At the time I had just opened and wasn't comfortable confronting mom about it.

Now, I would do as someone above suggested and tell mom at pick-up about a few positive things DCG has done that day. I would reinforce with mom that ALL of the kids (including her child) are learning about sharing, taking turns, using kind words, etc. and that you don't allow them not to. When mom persists (because she has!) I would turn it back onto her. I would tell her that she needs to empower DCG to handle these social situations in a positive way herself. I would encourage her to role play sharing, etc. with DCG teaching her to say, "D, please give me back my doll." Every time mom brings up something DCG told her say, "It sounds like you have some practicing to do tonight!"
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Old 02-21-2014, 09:10 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Leanna View Post
I had a child like this once too. Practically everyday mom would say, "S tells me everything about her day. She told me that (fill in with some very age-appropriate, common occurrence such as "J wouldn't share with her." or "S said she cried after breakfast." The mom would also question policies/practices in a very passive-aggressive way saying, "S's father wants to know why..." The little girl was verbal but I am positive the nightly "sharing about the day" session was totally prompted by mom. At the time I had just opened and wasn't comfortable confronting mom about it.

Now, I would do as someone above suggested and tell mom at pick-up about a few positive things DCG has done that day. I would reinforce with mom that ALL of the kids (including her child) are learning about sharing, taking turns, using kind words, etc. and that you don't allow them not to. When mom persists (because she has!) I would turn it back onto her. I would tell her that she needs to empower DCG to handle these social situations in a positive way herself. I would encourage her to role play sharing, etc. with DCG teaching her to say, "D, please give me back my doll." Every time mom brings up something DCG told her say, "It sounds like you have some practicing to do tonight!"
I love the turning of the tables...you have some practicing to do tonight!!!
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Old 02-21-2014, 09:12 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Leanna View Post
I had a child like this once too. Practically everyday mom would say, "S tells me everything about her day. She told me that (fill in with some very age-appropriate, common occurrence such as "J wouldn't share with her." or "S said she cried after breakfast." The mom would also question policies/practices in a very passive-aggressive way saying, "S's father wants to know why..." The little girl was verbal but I am positive the nightly "sharing about the day" session was totally prompted by mom. At the time I had just opened and wasn't comfortable confronting mom about it.

Now, I would do as someone above suggested and tell mom at pick-up about a few positive things DCG has done that day. I would reinforce with mom that ALL of the kids (including her child) are learning about sharing, taking turns, using kind words, etc. and that you don't allow them not to. When mom persists (because she has!) I would turn it back onto her. I would tell her that she needs to empower DCG to handle these social situations in a positive way herself. I would encourage her to role play sharing, etc. with DCG teaching her to say, "D, please give me back my doll." Every time mom brings up something DCG told her say, "It sounds like you have some practicing to do tonight!"
Awesome!!!
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Old 02-21-2014, 10:48 AM
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I tell them "If you promise to only believe half of what Sally tells you at home, I promise to only believe half of what she tells me at school."

That usually does the trick. LOL
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Old 02-21-2014, 10:55 AM
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I was going to say something similar to Leanna, but she said it better than I could anyway.

A child needs that social conflict to gain the skills to stand up for herself. If she can't get her dolly back, she won't be able to handle when someone cuts her off, steals her parking space, takes the last item at a sale, etc. They are PRACTICING, give her some words and let her practice!
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Old 02-21-2014, 10:58 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Leanna View Post
When mom persists (because she has!) I would turn it back onto her. I would tell her that she needs to empower DCG to handle these social situations in a positive way herself. I would encourage her to role play sharing, etc. with DCG teaching her to say, "D, please give me back my doll." Every time mom brings up something DCG told her say, "It sounds like you have some practicing to do tonight!"
This is brilliant.
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Old 02-21-2014, 12:07 PM
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Default Sounds like the mom is getting only one side of the story.

It''s funny how kids are so quick to tell on their playmates for every single slight, real or imagined and yet they forget to mention their own involvement in the situation. They are always the innocent party...every single time that they have problems with other kids.

I had one dcg like that and after a few days of hearing "dcg said that other dcg yelled at her" or "dcg said that other dcg doesn't like her", etc., I decided to fill in the blanks for dcg's parents so that they were aware that their precious dcg wasn't being bullied or picked on. In fact, dcg was almost always the instigator! I think it wasn't enough for them to have me tell them the whole story so I started having dcg explain the whole story in front of me to her parents and since all of my kids left at roughly the same time, the dcg would tell her parents that the other dcgs were being mean to her and the other dcgs would be right there to defend themselves!

Once dcg started understanding that she couldn't throw her friends or me under the bus anymore with her parents, she chilled out.
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