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Old 10-08-2015, 07:15 AM
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Default Just my thoughts..

Hi, I am just expressing my opinion and thoughts on families today. I have been doing daycare for 33 yrs now and going to retire soon, but want to say that taking care of other people's children has been most of the time a joy and I have felt that I have contributed a little to the lives of the children in a good way.
My only thoughts are that it is too bad that children are being raised by us daycare providers and not their own families in today's world. Thank goodness there are people like us that love children and care for them during the day. I know Mom's and Dad's have to work today to just live and some work just because they want to, not that they need to,but I feel so bad for the kids today that they are missing so much time with their parents. I guess I am old school,I raised my own 2 son's by being home with them,but don't regret one minute of being a stay at home mom. Yes,we could have afforded a nicer house,newer cars,etc, but that was not what was important to us, it was our children that came first.
Since kids are in daycare all day long,10 hours or so, parents are not getting the time to really spend with their kids and it is the kids that are missing out.
I just looked at the sweet little boy that is napping right now in my daycare and thinking how his parents and him are missing time with each other. Times and the world is changing since I had my kids and parents just don't have the options anymore of being able to stay home with their kids and that is really so sad,but that is just the way it is now.
So just wanted to express my thoughts on families of today.
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Old 10-08-2015, 07:36 AM
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Well, actually it's not families today. This is how it has always been, in many civilizations and various parts of the world. Those fit to go hunt and gather, do that (sometimes with little ones). Usually others stayed behind and cared for children. My dad was raised by a nanny not his mother. They lived in another country till he was 18 and he immigrated to the US. He barely got much time with her. This was in the late 40's. My mom was raised in Georgia - by her older sister who was about 15 years older. My mom's mom was a single mother to 3 and was born in 1908- so this was around the great depression (that she was having babies and was left to provide for them) She didn't raise her kids every moment- her oldest daughter did for her. I don't know a lot about other times and places (hey- I'm ECE, not a history major), but even in that recent movie about babies around the world, you see the parents are not the ones caring for them all day. Even in villages in far off places, where people don't just go sit at a desk and do the daily grind, they leave the kids with others in the community. The only difference here and now, with childcare providers, is we are the community the parents are forced to choose and pay because the old style of community is so rare now. And, I can guarantee you this is not all for want of cell phones and nice cars. How about feeding your child, putting a roof over their head, diapers and clothing- and now, I suppose you'll tell me, people shouldn't have children if they can't afford them then?

I commend you for doing a quality job for 33 years and caring enough to do your best, and what's best for the kids even when it was hard! Don't knock parents for having to choose you. They put their trust in you, and you came through!
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Old 10-08-2015, 07:45 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by care giver View Post
Hi, I am just expressing my opinion and thoughts on families today. I have been doing daycare for 33 yrs now and going to retire soon, but want to say that taking care of other people's children has been most of the time a joy and I have felt that I have contributed a little to the lives of the children in a good way.
My only thoughts are that it is too bad that children are being raised by us daycare providers and not their own families in today's world. Thank goodness there are people like us that love children and care for them during the day. I know Mom's and Dad's have to work today to just live and some work just because they want to, not that they need to,but I feel so bad for the kids today that they are missing so much time with their parents. I guess I am old school,I raised my own 2 son's by being home with them,but don't regret one minute of being a stay at home mom. Yes,we could have afforded a nicer house,newer cars,etc, but that was not what was important to us, it was our children that came first.
Since kids are in daycare all day long,10 hours or so, parents are not getting the time to really spend with their kids and it is the kids that are missing out.
I just looked at the sweet little boy that is napping right now in my daycare and thinking how his parents and him are missing time with each other. Times and the world is changing since I had my kids and parents just don't have the options anymore of being able to stay home with their kids and that is really so sad,but that is just the way it is now.
So just wanted to express my thoughts on families of today.
I agree with you. Some people have to work, others choose to. They can all decide what is best for their families, just as I have, but the main reason I chose to stay home is because it is a quick blip on the radar in our kid's life. I just really wanted to be a part of it, so we made it work. It is a choice every family makes, but since we see the other side of that choice, it can be tough not to feel bad for the little ones and for their parents who really do miss so much. There was aother thread recently asking if dcp discuss milestones with parents, like if they see dck take first steps or say first word, ect. Most providers said no, because they don't want to hurt their feelings and many said as a parent, they wouldn't want to know. That says a lot to me.
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Old 10-08-2015, 09:07 AM
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33 years? Wow. Kuddos for loving it that long!

When I started out 8 years ago, I had the "it takes a village" mentality. I wanted my daycare to have a family atmosphere. So, I took on a small group (4 kids plus my own). I treated all my daycare parents as extended family and gave them as much of me as I could.
Then I realized; not one of them gave a fleeping bleep about me. They didn't care I was a mom too and needed time away from my job as much as they did. They didn't reciprocate and "help" me in any way, even when I watched their children nights and weekends. They wanted the lowest cost care, for the longest time possible and will leave on a dime without any notice.

It took me 1 year to wise up. That's where the "it takes a village" thought process ended for me and ALL BUSINESS ALL THE TIME mindset kicked in.
I feel sad about that at times. I have the occasional parent who is awesome and spends as much time as possible with their children. But most don't.

Although I don't feel it's much different now as it did when I was a kid. I'm a product of the 80's when living in a world full of "must haves" and keeping up with the Joneses was in full bloom. It was possible to afford staying home with the kids then, but most parents didn't. My mom flat out told me that she never could have, we'd drive her nuts. I sometimes see her point.
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Old 10-08-2015, 09:12 AM
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Meh I don't care about being politically correct; I think it is sad too. At least here in Canada parents can take 12 months off to be with their children but even at 12 months having a child in care for 10 hours a day is crazy in my opinion. I can't even imagine having to send a 6 week old to care

I know parents who say that they would go crazy if they had to be around their kids all day (my sister is one of them). Those people are choosing to work 10+ hours a day and I wonder why did they have kids?? Then there are those that would give their right arm to afford to stay at home.

My husband works in a high paying job and he works roughly 6 hours a day. He puts my child on the bus, picks her up after school and gets out of work whenever he can and makes up the time later when the kids are in bed. My neighbours who both work at the exact same place work 10 hours a day and their child goes to before and after school care. These people are making a choice to not spend time with their child. I see it all the time. 2 parents making $100K each and so focused on their careers.

I don't like to judge but I am so different from these types of people that I cannot wrap my brain around it!

Unregistered I saw the "Babies" movie and most of them were raised by their parents so I'm not sure what movie you saw! The Mongolian boy was with his family all the time. The African mothers stayed home while the men went out to hunt and besides all of that they had relatives around taking care of them not complete strangers. Most babies are breastfed until 4-5 years of age in other parts of the world and they co-sleep for years. Other parts of the world are VERY family oriented and they don't have long work days like we do in America. Most people in Europe work 5 hour days and then have 8 weeks vacations that are mandatory.

I think feminism has really helped women a lot but it has also caused a lot of problems for families.
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Old 10-08-2015, 09:26 AM
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I agree. I felt guilty for leaving my son in daycare. I felt it was my responsibility to raise him and it was too important of a job to let someone else do it. The second my husband and I bought a house I opened a daycare home and now my second son has never had to got to daycare and I have not had to miss out on anything (good or bad). I could not afford to be a stay at home mom so not working was not an option but missing out on my kids wasn't either. I do know there are a families who go without a lot and still need 2 incomes and childcare but there are a lot of families who could really look at their expenses and choose their priorities and afford for one parent to stay home (trust me, before I did this I was a financial counselor and you would be surprised the things people think are necessities). I do also agree the community aspect has changed also. family and friends no longer will or can help with childcare (both my parents and mother in law work).I do wish more people made it a priority to spend more time with their kids they are missing out on some awesome things.
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Old 10-08-2015, 11:09 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered View Post
Well, actually it's not families today. This is how it has always been, in many civilizations and various parts of the world. Those fit to go hunt and gather, do that (sometimes with little ones). Usually others stayed behind and cared for children. My dad was raised by a nanny not his mother. They lived in another country till he was 18 and he immigrated to the US. He barely got much time with her. This was in the late 40's. My mom was raised in Georgia - by her older sister who was about 15 years older. My mom's mom was a single mother to 3 and was born in 1908- so this was around the great depression (that she was having babies and was left to provide for them) She didn't raise her kids every moment- her oldest daughter did for her. I don't know a lot about other times and places (hey- I'm ECE, not a history major), but even in that recent movie about babies around the world, you see the parents are not the ones caring for them all day. Even in villages in far off places, where people don't just go sit at a desk and do the daily grind, they leave the kids with others in the community. The only difference here and now, with childcare providers, is we are the community the parents are forced to choose and pay because the old style of community is so rare now. And, I can guarantee you this is not all for want of cell phones and nice cars. How about feeding your child, putting a roof over their head, diapers and clothing- and now, I suppose you'll tell me, people shouldn't have children if they can't afford them then?

I commend you for doing a quality job for 33 years and caring enough to do your best, and what's best for the kids even when it was hard! Don't knock parents for having to choose you. They put their trust in you, and you came through!
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Old 10-08-2015, 11:49 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ariana View Post
Meh I don't care about being politically correct; I think it is sad too. At least here in Canada parents can take 12 months off to be with their children but even at 12 months having a child in care for 10 hours a day is crazy in my opinion. I can't even imagine having to send a 6 week old to care

I know parents who say that they would go crazy if they had to be around their kids all day (my sister is one of them). Those people are choosing to work 10+ hours a day and I wonder why did they have kids?? Then there are those that would give their right arm to afford to stay at home.

My husband works in a high paying job and he works roughly 6 hours a day. He puts my child on the bus, picks her up after school and gets out of work whenever he can and makes up the time later when the kids are in bed. My neighbours who both work at the exact same place work 10 hours a day and their child goes to before and after school care. These people are making a choice to not spend time with their child. I see it all the time. 2 parents making $100K each and so focused on their careers.

I don't like to judge but I am so different from these types of people that I cannot wrap my brain around it!

Unregistered I saw the "Babies" movie and most of them were raised by their parents so I'm not sure what movie you saw! The Mongolian boy was with his family all the time. The African mothers stayed home while the men went out to hunt and besides all of that they had relatives around taking care of them not complete strangers. Most babies are breastfed until 4-5 years of age in other parts of the world and they co-sleep for years. Other parts of the world are VERY family oriented and they don't have long work days like we do in America. Most people in Europe work 5 hour days and then have 8 weeks vacations that are mandatory.

I think feminism has really helped women a lot but it has also caused a lot of problems for families.
Vacation part is true, length of workday not so much. I think it's closer to 35 hours a week. Still, way better than 50, eh?!
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