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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Closing Down
dave4him 08:19 PM 11-19-2014
I am sadly closing the doors on my daycare experience. It has been a long three years but after recent events I just cannot take the added pressure along with school. There have been complaints made about me and my treatment of one of the daycare kids. I don't care if it means I cannot have a daycare anymore, I just pray it does not affect me getting a teaching certificate. Either way the claims are false, but it doesn't seem like it matters much what I say about the issue. It sucks that it is that way and I really don't know what else I can do. I am just done.
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Josiegirl 02:43 AM 11-20-2014
I'm so sorry. We give our hearts, time, money, homes, away for these kids and their families and to have something falsely said about you must sting to the core.
I wish you the best of luck in your teaching endeavors.
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Sugar Magnolia 03:12 AM 11-20-2014
I'm very sorry to hear this, Dave.
I don't think an unfounded complaint should effect your teaching future. I hope not.
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DaveA 03:22 AM 11-20-2014
I'm sorry to hear about that.

Good luck on school and teaching.
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dave4him 03:51 AM 11-20-2014
The problem is if they think its true then it must be. They can say its substantiated based on just what they hear alone. Its a bad system.
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Laurel 04:04 AM 11-20-2014
I'm so sorry. I truly hope everything works out for you.

The system is so unfair sometimes. I hope they get this straightened out.

Laurel
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Laurel 04:06 AM 11-20-2014
P.S. If you have daycare insurance, they should be able to represent you in this if it becomes a legal matter. Unless it is like a case with Marina Vanessa and 'they' are the ones making the claims.
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dave4him 04:17 AM 11-20-2014
There are no legal claims which is good. Its really a he said she said, but I think they have people who are biased against a male caregiver in the first place. Either way im tired and done with the whole thing.
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Heidi 04:46 AM 11-20-2014
unless there is physical proof or you admit anything, they will not "substantiate" , Since substantiate means they have proof, they can't claim they do. Give them the facts only, or better yet, if you have an attorney, get some advice there. If they rule against you, FIGHT IT. If you did nothing wrong, do NOT let it follow you.

Sorry to hear about this. Best wishes, Dave.
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dave4him 05:01 AM 11-20-2014
Thank you. I will make a statement providing they let me appeal the allegations. I just don't know how to word it.
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Second Home 05:26 AM 11-20-2014
Sorry to hear you are going through this . I worry all the time about a parent getting mad and accusing me of doing something wrong to get back at me .

I am sure that someone on here who is good at writing letters would help you out with yours when the time comes .

Good luck with school and teaching . My oldest dd will be graduating high school this year and would like become a teacher .
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Heidi 05:35 AM 11-20-2014
Originally Posted by dave4him:
Thank you. I will make a statement providing they let me appeal the allegations. I just don't know how to word it.
Have they come out to "investigate" the allegations?

Usually, a complaint is made, they come out to talk to you and investigate (basically, you tell your side of the story), and then they say if it's founded or unfounded.

When they talk to you, generally, the best thing is to say less vs. more, I think. Simply saying "that never happened, nothing even close to it happened, and I'm shocked that anyone would even accuse me of that" is better than "well, there was this one time when I yelled at that boy, and made him go to time out, but I certainly didn't hurt him".

Not an attorney, but I have 2x had false accusations made (years ago), and both times, they were deemed unfounded.
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Play Care 05:48 AM 11-20-2014
I agree with Heidi. Unless there is a "founded" allegation, you shouldn't have any issues.
But I would walk away also because I would hate for daycare (which in your case was supposed to be a temporary thing until you finished your degree, IIRC?) ruin all you are trying to build.
Best of luck!
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daycarediva 10:04 AM 11-20-2014
I am so sorry you're going through that. I live in fear of a false allegation, it can absolutely destroy your life if it's pushed through.

(((((HUGS)))))
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butterfly 10:30 AM 11-20-2014
So sorry, Dave. Praying for you!
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melilley 10:56 AM 11-20-2014
I'm so sorry to hear that you are going through something like that Dave. I wish you luck in your future endeavors!
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EntropyControlSpecialist 12:00 PM 11-20-2014
I had a sexual abuse complaint made last year. Her "facts" were clearly fabricated and those that investigated were rolling their eyes at the end. Mom just wanted to get out of her contract. I pray that this isn't what you are facing...because people ARE crazy and it really IS disheartening.

Fight it. Fight whatever they are saying that is false about you. (((HUGS)))
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sugar buzz 12:30 PM 11-20-2014
I'm really sorry. When the dust settles, you should write about your experience being a male in the childcare industry. I bet that many of the parent magazines would pay for that article. It sounds like that type of discrimination needs some exposure.
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crazydaycarelady 12:51 PM 11-20-2014
I also had a sexual abuse allegation against my dc. As Heidi said they came and "investigated" and it was determined to be unfounded, which it absolutely was. Dcm who made the complaint still wanted to bring her kid here. I of course said he!! to the NO! Whose kids gets "sexually abused" but they still want to continue care? No one! Also the cousin of that family remained in my dc for a few more years, even they didn't buy it!

It is crazy the things that people will pull! This dcm wanted to have something to hold over my head so I would watch her kid 2 extra days, which I had declined.

I imagine it is even more difficult for a man in this field. Good luck to you Michael!
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Laurel 12:51 PM 11-20-2014
Originally Posted by EntropyControlSpecialist:
I had a sexual abuse complaint made last year. Her "facts" were clearly fabricated and those that investigated were rolling their eyes at the end. Mom just wanted to get out of her contract. I pray that this isn't what you are facing...because people ARE crazy and it really IS disheartening.

Fight it. Fight whatever they are saying that is false about you. (((HUGS)))
If it was reported and then was unfounded, wouldn't you have some legal recourse against her like a counter suit or do I watch too much Judge Judy? It sounds like she was deliberately making up lies to ruin your reputation and business.

Laurel
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midaycare 01:07 PM 11-20-2014
I'm sorry. Just ...
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dave4him 03:00 PM 11-21-2014
Kind of a weird sad feeling send in my letter of closing, taking down my board with all the daycare notices, getting the machine ready to go back. I don't feel unhappy, just kind of sigh like.
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dave4him 03:08 PM 11-21-2014
Actually I feel like crying, but I think I can hold it in.
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Josiegirl 03:12 PM 11-21-2014
Awww It's terrible the allegations from one person can change our lives completely.
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passedpawn 06:01 PM 11-23-2014
Has this turned into a founded complaint? If it has you can file an appeal.
if they are still investigating it will seem like they are leaning against you no matter what. The system sucks but let them do their work, if it doesn't go in your favor appeal the decision.
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Wednesday! 10:53 PM 11-23-2014
Yes, don't let them put you in a stereotypical box. We NEED more men in this profession. Being a man shouldn't make you an easy target.
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dave4him 11:09 PM 11-23-2014
I am appealing it either way. I am having the hardest time simply forgiving the accusers and moving ahead with my life without a daycare. I know its for the best though to shut it down. I just hope in the long run the whole thing can just be done.
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KidGrind 04:26 AM 11-24-2014
Fight it.
You know the truth.
I know there is a prejudice against male providers.
Woman often abuse too, hence all the news stories.
If you did what they say you did, why no legal actions?
If it were my child, the law would be involved.
So fight it Sir, some parents are vindictive when they don’t get their way.

Cry let it out!
Crying doesn’t make you a b**ch baby.
Continue to stand up for yourself.
Good luck!
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Wednesday! 06:48 AM 11-24-2014
I hate that you closed. Can I ask, did state suspend your license pending an investigation? Or you chose to close due to this incident?

I felt the overwhelming urge to close after an infant died of SIDS at my center almost 3 years ago. It was crushing in every way and the state treated us like criminals during the investigation. They did everything they could to find some fault in our actions that day, but ultimately, they couldn't. They officially ended their investigation after 9 miserable months.

I could've closed at any point during that time and they would've been quite happy, but I just couldn't do it. I already had plans in the works to close the center, before this happened, because I wanted to be a home provider, but I refused to do it under those circumstances. I wanted to close on my terms, not theirs.

I guess what I'm getting at is that I hope you closed on your own terms. I don't want you to look back and have any regrets, that's all. Be proud of what you accomplished and be happy that your were able to touch the lives of your families and their kids. I still think you should fight this until the bitter end, but don't let this taint your entire experience as a provider.
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dave4him 09:47 AM 11-24-2014
No one told me to close, I took it upon myself to do so. My parents and wife thought it was a good idea though. Not sure my wife ever really wanted me to have a daycare in house anyway so she is probably happier still. I have to find a second income source for the remainder of time while I am in school though.
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