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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Boys and Guns
tenderhearts 04:07 PM 06-03-2010
I have 4 boys in my daycare and they always want to play guns. I have never ever allowed it and they know that I don't. Seems like no matter what they are playing with they pretend it's a gun. How do others handle this? I immedietly remind them it's not ok and they'll have to put them away for the rest of the day if they do it again. So that usually is what happens. but this happens every day, it's so frustrating.
Greenshadow 04:29 PM 06-03-2010
Boys have been pretending to play guns forever. Do you make the girls put their baby dolls away too if they pretend to be moms? Sorry. I dont see why they cant pretend to be boys. The guns arent real. I have three boys of my own and I have two boys in my care every day. Boys are boys. They are civilized and well-behaved boys. I seriously doubt using their finger to pretend to play guns is going to corrupt their life. But thats just me. I guess you can punish the cat for stalking the bird too. But why?
tenderhearts 04:56 PM 06-03-2010
Wow, You're entitled to your own opinion but I'm sure glad I'm not the ONLY one who doesn't allow gun play or any weapon for that matter. I didn't see the other post about the gun playing. Weapon playing killing versus playing mommies is TOTALLY different. Guns are used for killing and we all know that there is enough killing out there.
Michael 05:22 PM 06-03-2010
Originally Posted by tenderhearts:
Wow, You're entitled to your own opinion but I'm sure glad I'm not the ONLY one who doesn't allow gun play or any weapon for that matter. I didn't see the other post about the gun playing. Weapon playing killing versus playing mommies is TOTALLY different. Guns are used for killing and we all know that there is enough killing out there.
I've only used a gun to stop someone from robbing me or worse. A gun is what you empower it to be. On the issue of daycare I have no problem with a daycare provider keeping toy gun play out of daily learning. I was a boy once too once.Wow, You're entitled to your own opinion but I'm sure glad I'm not the ONLY one who doesn't allow gun play or any weapon for that matter. I didn't see the other post about the gun playing. Weapon playing killing versus playing mommies is TOTALLY different. Guns are used for killing and we all know that there is enough killing out there.
Momma In MT 06:20 PM 06-03-2010
We don't do guns at my house either. If it becomes a problem they get one warning, then a timeout. After the timeout I tell them if they can't remember the rules they must be too tired and they will have to take a nap. I have only had to lay 1 kid down 1 time and it has never gotten to that point again.
Chickenhauler 09:25 PM 06-03-2010
Originally Posted by tenderhearts:
Wow, You're entitled to your own opinion but I'm sure glad I'm not the ONLY one who doesn't allow gun play or any weapon for that matter. I didn't see the other post about the gun playing. Weapon playing killing versus playing mommies is TOTALLY different. Guns are used for killing and we all know that there is enough killing out there.
It ties back into the reptilian programmed part of the human brain where the male is the alpha/provider, and the female is the nurturer.Wow, You're entitled to your own opinion but I'm sure glad I'm not the ONLY one who doesn't allow gun play or any weapon for that matter. I didn't see the other post about the gun playing. Weapon playing killing versus playing mommies is TOTALLY different. Guns are used for killing and we all know that there is enough killing out there.
Boys playing dominance/king of the hill games and girls playing dollies/mommies is part of the DNA structure.
I never really played 'guns' as a child because I wasn't fascinated by firearms, as there was no 'mystery' they were shrouded in. As a child, I have fond memories of tramping along with my father and grandfather hunting or going target shooting. They are a tool no different than a shovel, a knife, or a chainsaw, and when used responsibly, they all serve a valuable purpose.
professionalmom 10:08 PM 06-03-2010
Originally Posted by Chickenhauler:
It ties back into the reptilian programmed part of the human brain where the male is the alpha/provider, and the female is the nurturer.
Boys playing dominance/king of the hill games and girls playing dollies/mommies is part of the DNA structure.
I never really played 'guns' as a child because I wasn't fascinated by firearms, as there was no 'mystery' they were shrouded in. As a child, I have fond memories of tramping along with my father and grandfather hunting or going target shooting. They are a tool no different than a shovel, a knife, or a chainsaw, and when used responsibly, they all serve a valuable purpose.
Again, I agree! I was the youngest child and the only girl in my family. I have 5 older brothers! My dad hunts and fishes. We were all taught from an early age how to respect guns and the power that they have. I don't have toy guns in my daycare and I don't plan to. However, I won't discipline a child for pretending to shoot one. But, when a child does start to play that way, I try my best to explain why it's not nice and how to play guns nicely. Yes, there is a way. I explain that you never, ever point a gun (real, fake, or imaginary) at ANY person, that we do not "pretend" to hurt others, and that playing "hunting" is the ONLY acceptable gun play (especally since many people in my area do hunt). Basically, I explain the "tool" part - like it's a means to get food, which can turn into a huge discussion on where our food comes from - again, a lot of farmers around here too.It ties back into the reptilian programmed part of the human brain where the male is the alpha/provider, and the female is the nurturer.
Boys playing dominance/king of the hill games and girls playing dollies/mommies is part of the DNA structure.
I never really played 'guns' as a child because I wasn't fascinated by firearms, as there was no 'mystery' they were shrouded in. As a child, I have fond memories of tramping along with my father and grandfather hunting or going target shooting. They are a tool no different than a shovel, a knife, or a chainsaw, and when used responsibly, they all serve a valuable purpose.
Chickenhauler 12:22 AM 06-04-2010
Originally Posted by professionalmom:
Again, I agree! I was the youngest child and the only girl in my family. I have 5 older brothers! My dad hunts and fishes. We were all taught from an early age how to respect guns and the power that they have. I don't have toy guns in my daycare and I don't plan to. However, I won't discipline a child for pretending to shoot one. But, when a child does start to play that way, I try my best to explain why it's not nice and how to play guns nicely. Yes, there is a way. I explain that you never, ever point a gun (real, fake, or imaginary) at ANY person, that we do not "pretend" to hurt others, and that playing "hunting" is the ONLY acceptable gun play (especally since many people in my area do hunt). Basically, I explain the "tool" part - like it's a means to get food, which can turn into a huge discussion on where our food comes from - again, a lot of farmers around here too.
That right there is why I don't like toy guns, especially with how realistic many of them appear.Again, I agree! I was the youngest child and the only girl in my family. I have 5 older brothers! My dad hunts and fishes. We were all taught from an early age how to respect guns and the power that they have. I don't have toy guns in my daycare and I don't plan to. However, I won't discipline a child for pretending to shoot one. But, when a child does start to play that way, I try my best to explain why it's not nice and how to play guns nicely. Yes, there is a way. I explain that you never, ever point a gun (real, fake, or imaginary) at ANY person, that we do not "pretend" to hurt others, and that playing "hunting" is the ONLY acceptable gun play (especally since many people in my area do hunt). Basically, I explain the "tool" part - like it's a means to get food, which can turn into a huge discussion on where our food comes from - again, a lot of farmers around here too.
My nephews (city kids) have airsoft guns and no respect or understanding when it comes to firearms. That's gonna be a problem someday.
My daughter, OTOH, goes target shooting with me, has completed a firearm safety course, and is very responsible and very serious, and VERY accurate with a rifle.
Greenshadow 06:28 AM 06-04-2010
Originally Posted by tenderhearts:
Wow, You're entitled to your own opinion but I'm sure glad I'm not the ONLY one who doesn't allow gun play or any weapon for that matter. I didn't see the other post about the gun playing. Weapon playing killing versus playing mommies is TOTALLY different. Guns are used for killing and we all know that there is enough killing out there.
There is a big difference between playing guns and playing mommy TO US, but not to a child under 5. Its all pretend to them. Boys are just born to do it. I have three boys and nobody taught them to make Vroom noises or bang bang noises. They just do it. Just like girls naturally want to play with babies (and so do boys) so Im just saying that alot of it is natural for them to want to do. I wouldnt punish them for doing what is natural to them. I would deter them from doing it constantly or in a mean way but to go around pretending to shoot each other, to a child under 5, is very innocent play.Wow, You're entitled to your own opinion but I'm sure glad I'm not the ONLY one who doesn't allow gun play or any weapon for that matter. I didn't see the other post about the gun playing. Weapon playing killing versus playing mommies is TOTALLY different. Guns are used for killing and we all know that there is enough killing out there.
kitkat 06:45 AM 06-04-2010
Originally Posted by Momma In MT:
We don't do guns at my house either. If it becomes a problem they get one warning, then a timeout. After the timeout I tell them if they can't remember the rules they must be too tired and they will have to take a nap. I have only had to lay 1 kid down 1 time and it has never gotten to that point again.
That's exactly what I would do! It's amazing how fast the "you must be tired and need a nap" threat works We don't do guns at my house either. If it becomes a problem they get one warning, then a timeout. After the timeout I tell them if they can't remember the rules they must be too tired and they will have to take a nap. I have only had to lay 1 kid down 1 time and it has never gotten to that point again.
There is no gun or weapon play allowed here. It's not allowed in school, so it's definitely not allowed here. I do understand that guns, bow and arrow, etc are used for hunting and in that context it can be considered a tool. However, I do not believe that any type of shooting is appropriate play in a daycare setting. There are much more educational things to do. If they are going to play guns, they can do it at home.
My Daycare 07:01 AM 06-04-2010
Around here, I think I would have a problem letting daycare kids play w/ guns. However I will allow supersoakers (for now), but we don't call them guns. My kids have nerf guns, but daycare kids don't know that. I think every area is different. Kids have gotten suspended from school for pretending their hands were guns.
To the OP, hopefully it is a phase that they will get over. It would make me nervous because you don't know what parents can accuse you of.
To the OP, hopefully it is a phase that they will get over. It would make me nervous because you don't know what parents can accuse you of.
nannyde 07:29 AM 06-04-2010
Originally Posted by Greenshadow:
There is a big difference between playing guns and playing mommy TO US, but not to a child under 5. Its all pretend to them. Boys are just born to do it. I have three boys and nobody taught them to make Vroom noises or bang bang noises. They just do it. Just like girls naturally want to play with babies (and so do boys) so Im just saying that alot of it is natural for them to want to do. I wouldnt punish them for doing what is natural to them. I would deter them from doing it constantly or in a mean way but to go around pretending to shoot each other, to a child under 5, is very innocent play.
I don't have that experience at all. I really don't see any difference between the play of boys and girls here. There is a big difference between playing guns and playing mommy TO US, but not to a child under 5. Its all pretend to them. Boys are just born to do it. I have three boys and nobody taught them to make Vroom noises or bang bang noises. They just do it. Just like girls naturally want to play with babies (and so do boys) so Im just saying that alot of it is natural for them to want to do. I wouldnt punish them for doing what is natural to them. I would deter them from doing it constantly or in a mean way but to go around pretending to shoot each other, to a child under 5, is very innocent play.
If the parents make a big deal of "Thomas" stuff then I see a fixation on that with some boys but other than that I don't see any preference to "boy" like toys or "girl" like toys between the two sexes. The Thomas fixation is only with the well to do boys. The boys who have parents that can't afford Thomas don't have that.
I used to see that but not anymore. My boys play doll house, carry babies, feed babies etc. The girls build and play cars and trains just exactly like the boys do.
I think the little boys are a little froggier but the way they play and learn looks about the same to me. The girls potty train a little earlier but that's about the only really big difference I see.
NO gun play. I don't see that anymore either. My last gun kid is turning 13 next month so it's been a LONG time since I've had to deal with that. That little creep built an AKC out of my duplos one day. Hail to the NO on that.
I'm not anti gun at all. I just don't think we should introduce the concept of guns to kids until they are old enough to understand the awesomeness of them and the dangers of them. My family is a family of hunters and we live off of game as much as we can so I'm all about guns for good.
Greenshadow 08:53 AM 06-04-2010
If the parents make a big deal of "Thomas" stuff then I see a fixation on that with some boys but other than that I don't see any preference to "boy" like toys or "girl" like toys between the two sexes. The Thomas fixation is only with the well to do boys. The boys who have parents that can't afford Thomas don't have that.
I used to see that but not anymore. My boys play doll house, carry babies, feed babies etc. The girls build and play cars and trains just exactly like the boys do.
I think the little boys are a little froggier but the way they play and learn looks about the same to me. The girls potty train a little earlier but that's about the only really big difference I see.
I agree with you on these statements. The issue isnt about whether girls or boys should play with gender related toys. I was just trying to give examples of each. Apparently that point didnt get expressed correctly. All Im saying is that I dont allow the children to run around with fake AK47s either but if they take a toy and turn it into a gun and its innocent (as it would be for a child under 5), I dont see anything wrong with that for a few minutes. Normally they dont play much longer than that anyway before they get distracted.
ALL of my boys play guns with nerf guns, etc. My middle son is 8 1/2. There are video games he is not allowed to play yet that my 14 year old is. The daycare children dont even watch tv much less play games on them. Ive had a boy in my care pretend to shoot me when I walked around the corner and I pretended to die and made it very dramatic. He was 3. It was in fun.
I used to see that but not anymore. My boys play doll house, carry babies, feed babies etc. The girls build and play cars and trains just exactly like the boys do.
I think the little boys are a little froggier but the way they play and learn looks about the same to me. The girls potty train a little earlier but that's about the only really big difference I see.
I agree with you on these statements. The issue isnt about whether girls or boys should play with gender related toys. I was just trying to give examples of each. Apparently that point didnt get expressed correctly. All Im saying is that I dont allow the children to run around with fake AK47s either but if they take a toy and turn it into a gun and its innocent (as it would be for a child under 5), I dont see anything wrong with that for a few minutes. Normally they dont play much longer than that anyway before they get distracted.
ALL of my boys play guns with nerf guns, etc. My middle son is 8 1/2. There are video games he is not allowed to play yet that my 14 year old is. The daycare children dont even watch tv much less play games on them. Ive had a boy in my care pretend to shoot me when I walked around the corner and I pretended to die and made it very dramatic. He was 3. It was in fun.
Janet 12:46 PM 06-04-2010
It's always been my rule that there are no guns or any other type of weapon here. My kids aren't even allowed to pretend that they have a gun here. What they play with at home is not my business, but when they are at my house, I am firm with the "no guns" rule. In fact, on the occasion where one dcb brought his toy gun to my house, he was not able to keep it. The first time I gave it back to mom and reminded her of her rule. She acknowledged that she knew but he wouldn't leave the house without it. I handed it back to her and I thought that was the end of that issue. He brought it back again and that time I threw it in the garbage. I don't mess around. She was warned. I'm not saying that kids shouldn't be allowed to be creative in their play, but why does it need to involve shooting one another? I can't decide for anyone else, but for me, I'm not comfortable with kids pointing toy guns at one another.
AmandasFCC 01:40 PM 06-04-2010
Same here. No guns, swords, knives or anything else that resembles a weapon. I only had one kid who had a problem with that and he's long gone. There is no place for gun play in a daycare. Just like with wrestling. Nope.
Janet 02:09 PM 06-04-2010
Wrestling always ends up with someone getting hurt, so I don't let them do that. Someone will always end up in tears. I have two boys that are brothers and they wrestle all the time at home, and they antagonize one another. They will start with each other and I tell them to cut it out, and I get a lot of "we're just playing" or "we do it at home" but if I let them do it, then everyone else would want to join in. Sometimes if you give kids enough rope, they will fashion it into a noose and hang you with it! Thankfully, I seldom have the brothers all day together, because I think that it would be harder to keep them from wrestling. I used to be more relaxed about it, but there's always the kid who will write a check that his ass can't cash and then the trouble starts.