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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>I Don't Think I Can Do This Any More...
sahm2three 12:49 PM 10-25-2010
I am so worn out!! I don't get a break EVER Mon-Fri. I work at least 10 hours doing daycare and I can NEVER get even 20 minutes to myself. It is ALWAYS someone needing me. Someone not sleeping. I am constantly bouncing a colicky baby, cleaning something, or doing paperwork. I never get a moment to myself. I am so frustrated I could just cry. If I can't get a schedule down after about 8 months of doing this, will I EVER?! I just don't think I can do this any more. 
Blackcat31 12:57 PM 10-25-2010
I feel ya!! My hubby always jokes with me about how I don't really do anything hard for a job and I always say atleast you can pee in private! 
I can't even do that 1/2 the time!! It does get crazy but remember that it won't always be that way. The longer you do this, the easier it will become. Try scheduling some personal days off so you can get a break! Too many providers only take of holidays etc. Sometimes I take a personal day just because. If I can hire a sub for part or all of the day I do...other days I just close because I need to. As long as I let parents know with enough advance notice I don't really have complainers. Money is always an issue if I close, for both me and for my families, but sometimes ya gotta do what ya gotta do.
If you do not take time to keep yourself healthy in body and mind, you will not be doing anyone any good. YOU ARE YOUR FIRST PRIORITY!!! If you aren't, you need to be...It will benefit everyone in yur life!!!
I can't even do that 1/2 the time!! It does get crazy but remember that it won't always be that way. The longer you do this, the easier it will become. Try scheduling some personal days off so you can get a break! Too many providers only take of holidays etc. Sometimes I take a personal day just because. If I can hire a sub for part or all of the day I do...other days I just close because I need to. As long as I let parents know with enough advance notice I don't really have complainers. Money is always an issue if I close, for both me and for my families, but sometimes ya gotta do what ya gotta do.If you do not take time to keep yourself healthy in body and mind, you will not be doing anyone any good. YOU ARE YOUR FIRST PRIORITY!!! If you aren't, you need to be...It will benefit everyone in yur life!!!
MommyMuffin 12:58 PM 10-25-2010
I dont have any advice because I am new but if you could afford to maybe you could term the babies.
katie 01:02 PM 10-25-2010
I feel ya here. My husband who is usually very compassionate said yesterday, "At least you are home." Um, but I don't even get to pee! lol Hang in there. I have those days. It usually means that I am not taking care of myself. It's hard, but try to put up whatever boundaries you need to to take care of yourself. I'm the worst at it. I understand. I think I forgot to eat lunch today! Sadly, I don't remember! 
ddnanny13 01:23 PM 10-25-2010
Same here. Hubby came home for lunch during nap and as I was cleaning I was mowing down bites of his food. He was all hey get your own and I said when??? I made him stay home and just watch me one day and he just sat there with this wide eyed look. He couldn't believe all I had to do! I say, go get your hair done or something else pampering. You'll get girl time, adult time, and relaxation all at once!
Crystal 01:57 PM 10-25-2010
I say the first year is defintiely the hardest. You are still learning all of the ins and outs of the business, getting to know the kids in your group (and they are getting to know you) and trying to strike a balance between work and home.
First....BREATHE!
Second, know that in time, it does get easier, especially once your group gets settled into the routine, understands the rules, etc.
Third, You MUST make time for yourself, or you will burn out. Find a time, any time during the day, even if it is in the evening, lock yourself in your bedroom, and do something you enjoy, read, take a bubble bath, do a crossword, watch a favorite show, do your nails....ANYTHING NOT RELATED TO WORK!
Fourth....network. Go to a provider meeting in your area. Get to know other providers in your area and develop friendships with people who have or are experiencing the same challenges as you. Find a mentor, someone who has LOTS of experience and triaing that can help you develop real resolutions to your issues. It really helps to have somene there rooting for you and helping you when times are difficult.
Fifth - make your environment beautiful and calming....it is very therapeutic for you AND helps keep the children more calm and relaxed in their play.
Sixth - do not have to many rules. If you are on task to be the enforcer all day, it just makes everything that much more work and that much less enjoyable.
First....BREATHE!
Second, know that in time, it does get easier, especially once your group gets settled into the routine, understands the rules, etc.
Third, You MUST make time for yourself, or you will burn out. Find a time, any time during the day, even if it is in the evening, lock yourself in your bedroom, and do something you enjoy, read, take a bubble bath, do a crossword, watch a favorite show, do your nails....ANYTHING NOT RELATED TO WORK!
Fourth....network. Go to a provider meeting in your area. Get to know other providers in your area and develop friendships with people who have or are experiencing the same challenges as you. Find a mentor, someone who has LOTS of experience and triaing that can help you develop real resolutions to your issues. It really helps to have somene there rooting for you and helping you when times are difficult.
Fifth - make your environment beautiful and calming....it is very therapeutic for you AND helps keep the children more calm and relaxed in their play.
Sixth - do not have to many rules. If you are on task to be the enforcer all day, it just makes everything that much more work and that much less enjoyable.
missnikki 02:11 PM 10-25-2010
Crystal, that's some great advice.
I'd also add that your personal home space (bedroom, etc) should have things representing you as an adult, not as a daycare provider. You are surrounded all day in your home by reminders that you share your space, your home, your posessions with children and you need a sanctuary away from that at the end of the day.
About Crystal's 'too many rules' advice, I would add that the more fluid you can be with your activities, the less stressed you are. Don't be afraid to get crazy with something new. If it doesn't work, move on. If it sounds fun, it probably will be if you let it. If it seems too crazy, skip it for a day when yuo've had too much coffee...
I'd also add that your personal home space (bedroom, etc) should have things representing you as an adult, not as a daycare provider. You are surrounded all day in your home by reminders that you share your space, your home, your posessions with children and you need a sanctuary away from that at the end of the day.
About Crystal's 'too many rules' advice, I would add that the more fluid you can be with your activities, the less stressed you are. Don't be afraid to get crazy with something new. If it doesn't work, move on. If it sounds fun, it probably will be if you let it. If it seems too crazy, skip it for a day when yuo've had too much coffee...
SilverSabre25 03:04 PM 10-25-2010
I would say that it sounds like tomorrow is a good day for you to say "screw it!" and let them eat chicken nuggets and fries for lunch, watch more TV than usual, and you relax in your favorite chair (in the daycare area, of course) and read a good book or something. Take the day off as much as you can while still being there. 
I do this sometimes and am amazed at how much better I feel for it!
And it sounds like you could use a day off--schedule one soon and just relax! Especially if you can do a Monday or Friday so you get a long weekend to relax.
I do this sometimes and am amazed at how much better I feel for it!And it sounds like you could use a day off--schedule one soon and just relax! Especially if you can do a Monday or Friday so you get a long weekend to relax.
Jewels 03:20 PM 10-25-2010
Originally Posted by SilverSabre25:
I would say that it sounds like tomorrow is a good day for you to say "screw it!" and let them eat chicken nuggets and fries for lunch, watch more TV than usual, and you relax in your favorite chair (in the daycare area, of course) and read a good book or something. Take the day off as much as you can while still being there. I do this sometimes and am amazed at how much better I feel for it!
And it sounds like you could use a day off--schedule one soon and just relax! Especially if you can do a Monday or Friday so you get a long weekend to relax.
This is what I do every once in a while, I take the day off while still being here, I did this last thursday and friday I didnt have all my kids, So I skipped all my activities for 2 days, I had the TV on more, I skipped circle and project time, I skipped brushing teeth, Still changed diapers and watched them, but just let them play, and I was lazier, I definatly need to do this every once in a while, and it to me is like a day off, sure theres still diapers, and breakfast and lunch, but I made those really easy to, I always have to do this when I am PMS'ing, because thats the week that always is the hardest on me.I would say that it sounds like tomorrow is a good day for you to say "screw it!" and let them eat chicken nuggets and fries for lunch, watch more TV than usual, and you relax in your favorite chair (in the daycare area, of course) and read a good book or something. Take the day off as much as you can while still being there.
I do this sometimes and am amazed at how much better I feel for it!And it sounds like you could use a day off--schedule one soon and just relax! Especially if you can do a Monday or Friday so you get a long weekend to relax.
Francine 03:39 PM 10-25-2010
I don't know if this will help or not but I wanted to share. I had my daycare open from 1995 when my youngest was 8 months old and my oldest was 7 until 2008. I actually dropped down to part time in 2007 and then when all of my dc kids were able to go off to preschool in 2008 I closed up. I sold everything because I KNEW that I would NEVER do daycare again, I felt trapped in my own house, I never had a moment to myself, it was always about somebody else....I was done. I started cleaning, shopping and doing errands for others, which ended up to be more of a cleaning business than anything else for about a year before getting a job in a medical supply office. I worked there until this last May, and I HATED it! I made way less money and had TONS more stress, I turned into a major b----. My DH and I finally realized that I needed to reopen the daycare, I had had a break which I needed desperately but I really missed it and funny I missed being back in the home that I once felt trapped in. I have been open now since June 1st and am so glad that I did it, yes, there are moments when I think REALLY? I reopened why? But for the most part I am very happy. I know that I did the right thing by quitting when I did, I seriously needed a break and I needed to see for myself that the grass wasn't greener on the other side.
For those of you that are thinking about quitting, it you do, a little tip for you.....DON'T SELL EVERYTHING
I had to rebuy everything that I had just sold and found that I really wanted some of my old stuff back...booster seats for one thing, the new ones don't fit on my chairs
Hang in there, it will get better!
For those of you that are thinking about quitting, it you do, a little tip for you.....DON'T SELL EVERYTHING
I had to rebuy everything that I had just sold and found that I really wanted some of my old stuff back...booster seats for one thing, the new ones don't fit on my chairs Hang in there, it will get better!
QualiTcare 10:15 PM 10-25-2010
Originally Posted by Crystal:
I say the first year is defintiely the hardest. You are still learning all of the ins and outs of the business, getting to know the kids in your group (and they are getting to know you) and trying to strike a balance between work and home.
First....BREATHE!
Second, know that in time, it does get easier, especially once your group gets settled into the routine, understands the rules, etc.
Third, You MUST make time for yourself, or you will burn out. Find a time, any time during the day, even if it is in the evening, lock yourself in your bedroom, and do something you enjoy, read, take a bubble bath, do a crossword, watch a favorite show, do your nails....ANYTHING NOT RELATED TO WORK!
Fourth....network. Go to a provider meeting in your area. Get to know other providers in your area and develop friendships with people who have or are experiencing the same challenges as you. Find a mentor, someone who has LOTS of experience and triaing that can help you develop real resolutions to your issues. It really helps to have somene there rooting for you and helping you when times are difficult.
Fifth - make your environment beautiful and calming....it is very therapeutic for you AND helps keep the children more calm and relaxed in their play.
Sixth - do not have to many rules. If you are on task to be the enforcer all day, it just makes everything that much more work and that much less enjoyable.
i agree with this! especially number 6!I say the first year is defintiely the hardest. You are still learning all of the ins and outs of the business, getting to know the kids in your group (and they are getting to know you) and trying to strike a balance between work and home.
First....BREATHE!
Second, know that in time, it does get easier, especially once your group gets settled into the routine, understands the rules, etc.
Third, You MUST make time for yourself, or you will burn out. Find a time, any time during the day, even if it is in the evening, lock yourself in your bedroom, and do something you enjoy, read, take a bubble bath, do a crossword, watch a favorite show, do your nails....ANYTHING NOT RELATED TO WORK!
Fourth....network. Go to a provider meeting in your area. Get to know other providers in your area and develop friendships with people who have or are experiencing the same challenges as you. Find a mentor, someone who has LOTS of experience and triaing that can help you develop real resolutions to your issues. It really helps to have somene there rooting for you and helping you when times are difficult.
Fifth - make your environment beautiful and calming....it is very therapeutic for you AND helps keep the children more calm and relaxed in their play.
Sixth - do not have to many rules. If you are on task to be the enforcer all day, it just makes everything that much more work and that much less enjoyable.
it's too overwhelming being the rule nazi all day. when i first started daycare, i felt like the space should be nice and clean all the time. if a child didn't put something away, i was on top of it! as time went on....i figured out that it doesn't REALLY matter. yes, they need to know how to clean up, but does it really matter if all the blocks are stacked neatly if they're going to be pulled out 15 more times that day?
i was always a freak about kids being clean, not having any food on their clothes, not having toys on the floor, etc, etc. my life got much easier when i started calming down and focusing on clean up at the END of the day and changing the kid's clothes toward the end of the day. it allows you much more time to focus on playing with the kids and not worrying so much.
hang in there!
BentleysBands 03:29 AM 10-26-2010
this is some great advice!! i have been doing childcare my whole life basically and constantly feel this way...drained! and it doesnt help that i'm a worry wart
it gets better, u have good days and not so good days. but when u know u need the money u just buckle down and do what u have to do. be thankful you can stay home instead of going to work like our husbands.. that i couldnt do LOL
it gets better, u have good days and not so good days. but when u know u need the money u just buckle down and do what u have to do. be thankful you can stay home instead of going to work like our husbands.. that i couldnt do LOL
boysx5 07:53 AM 10-26-2010
Originally Posted by Crystal:
I say the first year is defintiely the hardest. You are still learning all of the ins and outs of the business, getting to know the kids in your group (and they are getting to know you) and trying to strike a balance between work and home.
First....BREATHE!
Second, know that in time, it does get easier, especially once your group gets settled into the routine, understands the rules, etc.
Third, You MUST make time for yourself, or you will burn out. Find a time, any time during the day, even if it is in the evening, lock yourself in your bedroom, and do something you enjoy, read, take a bubble bath, do a crossword, watch a favorite show, do your nails....ANYTHING NOT RELATED TO WORK!
Fourth....network. Go to a provider meeting in your area. Get to know other providers in your area and develop friendships with people who have or are experiencing the same challenges as you. Find a mentor, someone who has LOTS of experience and triaing that can help you develop real resolutions to your issues. It really helps to have somene there rooting for you and helping you when times are difficult.
Fifth - make your environment beautiful and calming....it is very therapeutic for you AND helps keep the children more calm and relaxed in their play.
Sixth - do not have to many rules. If you are on task to be the enforcer all day, it just makes everything that much more work and that much less enjoyable.
after 14 years of doing daycare this is great adviceI say the first year is defintiely the hardest. You are still learning all of the ins and outs of the business, getting to know the kids in your group (and they are getting to know you) and trying to strike a balance between work and home.
First....BREATHE!
Second, know that in time, it does get easier, especially once your group gets settled into the routine, understands the rules, etc.
Third, You MUST make time for yourself, or you will burn out. Find a time, any time during the day, even if it is in the evening, lock yourself in your bedroom, and do something you enjoy, read, take a bubble bath, do a crossword, watch a favorite show, do your nails....ANYTHING NOT RELATED TO WORK!
Fourth....network. Go to a provider meeting in your area. Get to know other providers in your area and develop friendships with people who have or are experiencing the same challenges as you. Find a mentor, someone who has LOTS of experience and triaing that can help you develop real resolutions to your issues. It really helps to have somene there rooting for you and helping you when times are difficult.
Fifth - make your environment beautiful and calming....it is very therapeutic for you AND helps keep the children more calm and relaxed in their play.
Sixth - do not have to many rules. If you are on task to be the enforcer all day, it just makes everything that much more work and that much less enjoyable.
countrymom 09:46 AM 10-27-2010
hows the day today. You know what, don't feel bad if you take a break and sit around, what do you think, that all these parents go to work and run around like maniacs like we do, no they don't. I'm still a neat freak, but I love to be organized, but I've learned that if parents don't let me have a day off then i'm going to have lazy days in my house. It does get better.
DanceMom 09:52 AM 10-27-2010
I agree that the first year is the hardest...I actually was pretty depressed but kept on pushing through it and it became much better.
I also strongly agree to take a day off ( with daycare kids there ) sometimes we cant ALWAYS be so structured and even the kids need a good free play day.
And TAKE TIME OFF. I know we all work for the parents and are there for them as much as we all can be, but we HAVE to take time off otherwise you will definately get burned out. I am upfront with my parents that I do need days off and they understand..I think most do that chose in home daycare. At least all of my families have grandparents as back ups so its not a big deal to take a day off.
Hang in there...I say push through your first year and see if you feel the same in about a year and 1/2 of doing it. If you do, then its probably just not for you.
I also write a pros and cons list all the time to remind myself why I am doing this...pros definately outweight the cons !
I also strongly agree to take a day off ( with daycare kids there ) sometimes we cant ALWAYS be so structured and even the kids need a good free play day.
And TAKE TIME OFF. I know we all work for the parents and are there for them as much as we all can be, but we HAVE to take time off otherwise you will definately get burned out. I am upfront with my parents that I do need days off and they understand..I think most do that chose in home daycare. At least all of my families have grandparents as back ups so its not a big deal to take a day off.
Hang in there...I say push through your first year and see if you feel the same in about a year and 1/2 of doing it. If you do, then its probably just not for you.
I also write a pros and cons list all the time to remind myself why I am doing this...pros definately outweight the cons !
SunflowerMama 11:25 AM 10-27-2010
Originally Posted by Crystal:
Sixth - do not have to many rules. If you are on task to be the enforcer all day, it just makes everything that much more work and that much less enjoyable.
I'm feeling a bit of the same stress and I think this one might be one of my problems. I feel like I'm always enforcing rules all day long and don't even have a whole lot of time to just relax and have fun with them. I'm new too (started in February) and I really wanted to set a tone that wouldn't allow for them to walk all over me (I'm bad about this) so maybe I just stressed it too much and should just let a few things go here and there. That and maybe some mid day yoga or meditation Sixth - do not have to many rules. If you are on task to be the enforcer all day, it just makes everything that much more work and that much less enjoyable.
.
sahm2three 11:29 AM 10-27-2010
It is miserable again today. I could care less about the mess. I would gladly clean up during nap time if I had two seconds of quiet to myself! The 10 month old still won't flipping sleep. Now the 2 year old is up and won't go back to sleep. Nap time started 15 minutes ago. I have had it. I just said to heck with it and have had movies going all morning. No one has watched them, they were too busy following me around crying because they didn't get a morning nap because of the 10 month old. Thank GOD I only have this week left with him. I would much rather deal with the colicky 6 month old!!!
SunflowerMama 11:33 AM 10-27-2010
So sorry you're having another bad day . Only 2 more days and then you can take a little breather.
. Only 2 more days and then you can take a little breather.
Blackcat31 01:38 PM 10-27-2010
Originally Posted by sahm2three:
It is miserable again today. I could care less about the mess. I would gladly clean up during nap time if I had two seconds of quiet to myself! The 10 month old still won't flipping sleep. Now the 2 year old is up and won't go back to sleep. Nap time started 15 minutes ago. I have had it. I just said to heck with it and have had movies going all morning. No one has watched them, they were too busy following me around crying because they didn't get a morning nap because of the 10 month old. Thank GOD I only have this week left with him. I would much rather deal with the colicky 6 month old!!!
That is exactly why I stopped taking kids under 18 months. I had babies for 12 years and felt like you do...it just got to be too much and the more stressed I was, the more stressed the kids got. I quit taking babies and began to love my job again. Now, 3 years after no babies, I have a 6 month old. (I got him at 6 weeks) He is a sibling to a dcb who went to Kindergarten this year. I was careful to tell dcm that if he was colicky or a difficult baby that I would not keep him. Turns out he is the happiest kid I have truly ever seen!! It is miserable again today. I could care less about the mess. I would gladly clean up during nap time if I had two seconds of quiet to myself! The 10 month old still won't flipping sleep. Now the 2 year old is up and won't go back to sleep. Nap time started 15 minutes ago. I have had it. I just said to heck with it and have had movies going all morning. No one has watched them, they were too busy following me around crying because they didn't get a morning nap because of the 10 month old. Thank GOD I only have this week left with him. I would much rather deal with the colicky 6 month old!!!
But, I learned my lesson. I will take babies from now on but I will never have more than one at a time and with only 1 other kid under 2. (Total 2 under 2yrs old maximum) The rest are over 2 and I can deal with that no problem. So my advice to you is set some boundaries...do not take on more than you can handle. Oh, and if these are your own children and not dc kids....then I wish I was near ya so I could offer you a days free service!!
Hang it there; this too shall pass.