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Daycare Center and Family Home Forum>Four-Year-Old Doesn't Follow Rules/Directions and Cries
Hunni Bee 11:33 PM 05-18-2011
I have a certain four-year-old, whom I've posted about before. She's quite a handful, I think she may have some emotional issues, but I'm not sure.

I have to tell her four, five even eight times to do something. Normally I would never give directions that many times, before I helped them to do it. But if I do that with her, she goes into tantrum mode immediately and cries for 20 minutes, dry-eyed.

Today we were outside during pick-up time - she's sitting in the parking lot at opening time and is picked up 15 minutes before closing, over 11 hours. She and some friends kept climbing the fence. The others stopped after a couple requests. She keeps climbing with a little smile on her face. I asked her 3, 4, 5 times....took her hands off the fence and helped her down. She climbed right back on, still smiling. I took her out of the yard and made her sit on the steps until her mom came. She screamed and kicked until her mother arrived. DCM asked me what was wrong and I told her, she walked off without another word. She never addresses dcg's behavior.

I don't know what to do with her...TO doesn't work because she doesn't stay and screams out all of this dramatic stuff "pleeeeease, im sooooorrry, i wont do it again", so I look like mean old teacher . Taking away things she likes is more trouble than its worth, because she just follows me around, wailing and pulling on my clothes. But she's got to follow my rules and directions...
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Cat Herder 05:15 AM 05-19-2011
Ah, a Screamer Princess. BTDT.

Sorry to laugh, it is just such a miserable day isn't it? I remember that if I did not laugh about it I may have cried. It really just starts to drain your soul after the 10 hour mark, doesn't it? I used to dread getting out of bed in the morning.

Just remember you only have a few more months, then she goes to school where mom WILL FINALLY have to deal with her behavior since the School can suspend/discipline her without losing income.

Put a star on the calendar of her last day, Aug, ** isn't it?? Plan a quiet celebratory dinner (maybe even a spa day) for yourself on that weekend. It will be over soon enough Try to remember Mom will still be dealing with it at 13....
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Hunni Bee 05:51 PM 05-19-2011
Originally Posted by Catherder:
Ah, a Screamer Princess. BTDT.

Sorry to laugh, it is just such a miserable day isn't it? I remember that if I did not laugh about it I may have cried. It really just starts to drain your soul after the 10 hour mark, doesn't it? I used to dread getting out of bed in the morning.

Just remember you only have a few more months, then she goes to school where mom WILL FINALLY have to deal with her behavior since the School can suspend/discipline her without losing income.

Put a star on the calendar of her last day, Aug, ** isn't it?? Plan a quiet celebratory dinner (maybe even a spa day) for yourself on that weekend. It will be over soon enough Try to remember Mom will still be dealing with it at 13....
Im buying gold star stickers tomorrow She looks for things to cry about....she'll ask me for things she knows I'll say no to (Can I get juice? - before she's eaten a crumb of her lunch) then the wailing starts...yuck.
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Crystal 06:16 PM 05-19-2011
I think "asking her" four or five times is too much. Basically, that gives her the choice to continue with the behavior. I'd ask once, the second time she would be told, then if she didn't comply I'd help her. As for the "dry eyed crying" she's playing you for a sucker. I'd pick a specific chair and call it the "crying chair" every time she goes into a fit, she'd be directed to sit in it.

I can't stand the "fake crying" it's one thing I won't tolerate.
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Kaddidle Care 07:15 PM 05-19-2011
I wouldn't be watching anyone's child except my own for 11 hours. Especially one that doesn't mind me. She needs Mama time. Perhaps you should call Mama to pick her up next time she won't listen to you.

This job doesn't pay any of us the big bucks so you have to really love your work. It shouldn't be a chore - not like the day you've had today.

I hope tomorrow is a better day. At least it's Friday.
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Hunni Bee 08:44 PM 05-19-2011
Originally Posted by Crystal:
I think "asking her" four or five times is too much. Basically, that gives her the choice to continue with the behavior. I'd ask once, the second time she would be told, then if she didn't comply I'd help her. As for the "dry eyed crying" she's playing you for a sucker. I'd pick a specific chair and call it the "crying chair" every time she goes into a fit, she'd be directed to sit in it.

I can't stand the "fake crying" it's one thing I won't tolerate.

I have that...she wont go to it/stay in it. She trails behind me begging and wailing. I don't give into her fake crying...it just grinds my nerves so bad. I give her so many chances because I'm just praying that she'll do what I ask before I have to give her a consequence and then the dramatics start. And I work at a center, so my options are limited. Ugh.
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Tags:4 year old, defiant, rules, tantrums, won't listen
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