I have a dcb who is now 3 1/2 and has been with me since he was 8 mo. For the past I don't even know how long 1 1/2 he copies what the others do, mainly one other boy who has been with me as well for 4 yrs, (he's almost 5 now), it wasn't a big deal before because I think all kids do this to some degree, however the past 6 months or so he literally copies everything the others do and again it's mostly this one boy but does do it with others as well, his copying is everything, from their actions to what they say, so if one boy starts jumping he starts jumping, he has to be right next to them constantly, barely any room, he follows them around and just copies everything and it really starts making the other kids mad, and it is really annoying to watch. I've tried just letting the kids tell him not to copy but he doens't stop then it starts with them getting angry at him so then I intervene and would tell him he needs to stop coping them and find something else to do, which works for 5 min then he's back to it, I've tried time outs, I've tried having him play away from them for short period of time and nothing seems to be working. He now is copying things he knows he shouldn't do. For instance one of the other kids was ramming his bike into another boy and right when I got done telling him that wasn't ok the other boy has to copy him and do it even though he heard it wasn't ok and knows it's not ok. I've tried talking with him but I dont' think he honestly gets it, any suggestions I really am so frustrated, I feel like I'm always yelling at this little boy and I try to praise his behaviour when he isn't copying and finding something else to do but I just don't know what else to do, do you think he'll outgrow it? It just causes so much friction here with the other kids and I truly feel bad for them, I thought I did daycare not watching parrots.

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Sorry, I don't have any suggestions for this. I think some of it is just part of being a little kid, but I am sure the others get frustrated with it too.

For the ramming the bike incident, that you just told another child not to do it, I probably would of taken both bikes away from the kids for a day or to, and when they got them back, remind them why they were taken away to begin with.

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I have a girl here who is the same, she seems to do what the others are doing if they are getting any attention from it,.. good or bad. she was 3 in Jan. Ive started telling her that I want her to be special, to be herself and not try to be someone else. I tell her that I wont give her attention for copying another child, she needs to go play on the other side of the room,....I just say,.. I see you acting like randy and when you act like cindy again, Ill play with you. Cindy is the perfect cindy and Randy is the perfect randy., I like it when my friends act like themselves. It seems to be working,.. fingers crossed for you.

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It seems to me that this little boy is still trying to develop an identity for himself. I suggest that you search for a few endearing qualities about this boy and make them HIS. What I mean to say is, you need to help him develop a sense of self that is separate from others. The way to do this is by looking for and pointing out loud the good things that he does. "Look how Johnny helped clean up the toys so quickly' Also, positive labeling is good too. "Johnny is a speedy cleaner!'. "Look how Johnny listened to Miss Tammy"- "Johnny is a good listener" etc. Help 'Johnny' discover his own talents. Point out his special qualities and praise them often when he displays them. "Wow, Johnny, you sure are learning to bounce that ball really well', can go a long way in helping him individuate and develop an identity for himself. He will soon start to see himself as Johnny-The Helper, or Johnny-The Basketball Palyer. Good Luck!
Tammy

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